SOMETIMES THE ONLY ROAD YOU TAKE IS THE DARKEST || July Catch-All

[slayerskiss]

Who: Faith Lehane + Assorted CR
What: Faith is haunted, bares her fangs, deals with the consequences of her actions.
When: July 5th-13th catchall.
Where: Clockhouse, Cobra Kai.

Content Warnings: Grief, violence, torture, suicidal ideation, Buffy The Vampire Slayer Making Murder Weird Since 1997, TBA.

Comments

[frogfear]

[Willow gives a little nod of understanding. She's pretty sure she knows what Faith's thoughts are going. Just because something had to be done, doesn't necessarily make it easier, nor does it necessarily help alleviate the guilt that comes long with making those difficult choices.]

Just because other people say it, doesn't make it easier, huh?

[She takes a deep breath. It's a difficult conversation to have to have, but at least when she considers the damage she would have continued to inflict on Trench had no one stood against her, it makes the trauma of that final fight, and her death a little easier to bear.

Death is far too common of a condition in Trench, it seems, but at least it seems like there's rarely any lasting harm.]

You did try to stop me, though, remember? Johnny? I don't think it would've changed much if you had drawn the line sooner. It still would've gone the same in the end. I was too angry at too many people, and too into my own head to be talked down. If it wasn't you and Ozpin, it would've been someone else, but a whole lot of other people might have gotten hurt in the meantime.

[She manages a small smile at the concern that she might not come back, or that she would have forgotten Trench like she had in the past. It's a relief to be back whole, with all her memories intact, and feeling not much worse for wear under the circumstances, and Faith's concern is genuinely touching.]

I'll always come back. I promise, okay? Even if I come back needing help, I'll always come back.

[slayerskiss]

[It's something. But on the other end, Sayo wouldn't have been in Willow's sights if it hadn't been for Faith. She could take away Willow's magic but not Faith's proficiency as a killing machine. But it's true. Faith couldn't have stopped her. She's not Buffy.

Faith sighs, but nods, accepting what Willow says.

It's not an absolution, but, she wouldn't accept it if it was.]

...Good. I don't - [She breathes a shaky, emotional breath, her hold on Willow tightening just a bit.] - I don't think I could do this without you.

[frogfear]

[It means a lot - that Faith still needs her even after everything that's happened. It's easy to let her head drop to rest against the Slayer's shoulder.]

I know what you mean. I feel the same way about you. We'll help each other through this. It'll be okay.

[slayerskiss]

[Faith leans into Willow's touch, hand tracing Willow's arm through her soft clothing. It's intimate, and close, and she doesn't want to let her go, because she's worried that if she does, things won't be okay. Not like they could be.]

...We really made a mess, huh. [She chuckles, it's humorless, and miserable, but it's soft. She'd do it again, she thinks, even despite it all, it was nice to have Willow to herself like that. It feels awful in retrospect, the guilt gnawing at her mind, but... even if she had to get tortured over it all over again, she liked some of it. Is this how it always feels? Is there anything in this world other than grief?

She doesn't even know where they stand anymore, but she knows they'll figure it out.]

Guess I should get to work on getting us matching reformed villain club shirts. If Angel ever shows up, we'll toss one his way too.

[frogfear]

[Willow takes comfort in the gentle touches, the warmth of being tucked in against Faith's side. Everyone so far has been far kinder than she really thinks she deserves, and in a lot of ways, it's such a relief.]

Yeah. We did. I think... I don't know. I worry a lot of it's probably not stuff we can fix? Not really, anyway. But I think we need to try? And hey - [She manages a small smile] maybe the shirts will help, you know, really drive home the reformed part? And we'll be ready too. If Angel ever does show up.

[slayerskiss]

Well. [Faith lets out a breathy laugh. It's barely a whisper, something only Willow can hear.] I'm sure fucking everything up in ways we can't just easily fix gets easier the second time.

I'll ask around - see if we can get them made. Maybe some coffee cups too. [She sighs.] ...Always kind of envied that he got the whole soulless excuse, y'know? Don't think it ever helped him feel better, but it made everyone else able to pretend that it wasn't all just him.

Still. I think we'll make it. [It's not a question, because as much as she's unsure about her place in this world - as much as she's doubting herself - she's seen the ugliness under Willow's skin. The visceral starved beast - so much like her own. And she knows that that monster is her, as much as the timid bookworm back at Sunnydale was. But she still looks at Willow and she doesn't see a bad person. She refuses to. So maybe there's still hope for the both of them.]

[frogfear]

[It brings a soft chuckle from Willow on an exhale.]

Practice makes perfect, right?

[She thinks some of their friends might view it the same way as it had been with Angel. That under the influence of Corruption, they weren't themselves, not really, and that therefore their actions are more forgivable. She doesn't expect forgiveness from those they killed, though.]

Yeah. I think so, too. It's just, you know, gonna take some time. And maybe figuring out how to keep the corruption thing in check before it gets to that point again, but I mean, other people do it too, right? It's not like we're the first people this has ever happened to.