Because one day, I'll leave you a phantom

[reddosmod]

OCTOBER 2021 EVENT

IMAGE DESCRIPTORS IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE
Prompt One
[Image One: Band playing on moving float with people in masks walking behind.]
[Image Two: Woman in gas mask and elaborate ballgown.]

Prompt Two
[Image One: Man looking away while creepy corpse-like woman puts hand on window.]
[Image Two: Two contorted girls crawling across floor with blood flowing out.]

Prompt Three
[Image One: Headless horseman with jack-o-lantern rearing on horse.]
[Image Two: Annabelle doll rocking on its own in chair.]

[NAVIGATION]

Prompt 1 • Prompt 2 • Prompt 3 • Plotting • Newsletter

[JUMP TO COMMENTS]

WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE

WHEN: During the daytime every day of October
WHERE: Throughout the streets of Cellar Door and Willful Machine.
CONTENT WARNINGS: N/A

---

The Black Parade has begun in Trench. You will begin to see residents painting skulls and monsters onto their faces, even the ones who abide by practical lifestyles. By the first week of October, you won't see a single resident of Trench without facepaint or a mask of some kind obscuring their face.

"It's for the Black Parade," they say, "It's to keep us safe. You should start painting your face too. You should disguise yourself so they can't find you."

Who, you might ask? Anyone dangerous. It's vague and unsettling, but you think maybe they are onto something. Call it intuition or basic common sense. Stalls pop up all around Trench selling cheap masks and costumes. They aren't exactly Halloween costumes. There's less of a focus on becoming something and more of a focus on looking different than you currently do.

Then the Black Parade really takes off. Black and white confetti seem to fall from the sky and you can hear the distant sound of trumpets and drums. You can feel the earth give small tremors and Trenchies begin to flock to Cellar Door and the Willful Machine. They line the streets and you can see why: a literal parade is coming through. Stages are set with talented musicians rocking out, singing into wireless, floating moonlit mics. Incredible, giant puppets walk through the streets guided by a dozen talented Architects. Other people move about in stilted costumes, elaborate gowns. Some performers set up small, stationary areas to perform for smaller crowds. The sky is filled with massive and unusual kites. Find one among the many stalls or make your own!

Stalls hand out candied applies, foil-wrapped candies, and roasted pumpkin seeds by the bundles. Hot ciders are kept in barrels ready to be served up in tin mugs, with or without alcohol. It's a festive atmosphere that seems to go nonstop 24/7 throughout October but exclusively in these areas. It's a good place to go to avoid some of the haunts of October and to have a good time. Why not get involved? Make your own puppet, float, or costumes, and join in the fun. Chunks of the road are reserved for parades, but others have been sectioned off for people to dance and mingle about. You quickly learn that face-paint and masked/concealed faces seem to be a good way of avoiding the attention of beasts, angry Pthumerians, and other unusual creatures in Trench.

It's not a foolproof method, but October largely celebrates the safety of ambiguity and is one of the few times the practical and pleasure factions get along. Get your face painted up or pick out a costume - it's both aesthetic and life-saving! The Black Parade is held annually every October all October long and is considered a significant Trench holiday. Many people refer to the costumes specifically as "Black Parade" costumes and sentiments commonly exchanged at this time include: Have a blessed and safe Blood Moon; May your Seasons pass unseen; Bless the many faces of cleverness; May you go unseen by the blood; Blessed Black Parade.

QUICK FACTS

1. Halloween costumes you can buy at the store won't be available unless a character intentionally makes one. Most of the costumes in Trench are more or less eccentric make-up looks and unusual masks. They look a lot more like Cirque du Soleil costumes than Halloween costumes.

2. Characters can have multiple costume/face-paint/mask changes throughout the month. No one will be forced into these - but it is strongly, culturally encouraged for everyone's safety to dress up!

LONELINESS KILLS: THE CURSE OF CLOVERFIELD

WHEN: October
WHERE: Everywhere
CONTENT WARNINGS: Psychological-based curse, feelings of intense loneliness, mental health.

---

It is said that the Blood Moon reminds Cloverfield of those he has lost over the decades. They say that the howling wind is actually the sound of Cloverfield's cries and there seems to be some truth to that. He can be seen wandering the Farther Shores and watching the moon. If you seek out Cloverfield and offer him comfort and companionship, he will bless you with a worn picture of a loved one or someone you miss desperately or even just a place you miss...Even if it's impossible for such a picture to exist.

Of course, not everyone will visit Cloverfield. Cloverfield's loneliness begins to curse the city of Trench. Sleepers will be impacted the most heavily as their blood will directly react to this curse. Sleepers who have a good sense of relationship may be able to avoid the curse, but those who often feel lonely or homesick will start to feel worse and worse as the days go by.

Eventually, their loneliness begins to manifest as a corpse-like version of themselves or the person they care about most. This corpse follows them around everywhere like a shadow. You won't notice your own Loneliness, but other people might, especially palebloods, Night Walkers, and Disciples. These corpses don't seem to care about anything or anyone and at first don't seem violent...But eventually, this Loneliness becomes consuming.

Once it does, you too will contort, and you and your Loneliness will soon be crawling about on all fours, blood floating out of you in thin streams. You'll be lost to your feelings of loneliness, stalking the streets with your Loneliness, looking for companionship. Of course, you're completely corrupt at this point, so your version of finding companionship most likely involves accidentally suffocating someone or other violent actions. Some people may never become violent once they are in the Final Stage, but the blood constantly flowing from them will create heavy blood pollution and may draw in far more dangerous creatures. You really don't want Lonely People walking around!

Better start some conversations - even if these Lonely People are creepy as hell. But, then again, they are just lonely. Hopefully, you will find peace of mind and find your people. Hopefully, you will banish loneliness...For the time being.

QUICK FACTS

1. This curse will impact people who are more isolated than others. Interaction with other people or animals will alleviate the curse and may completely stop it for some.

2. You can stop the curse at the corpse stage by confronting a Sleeper and opening up an emotional conversation about their loneliness. This may not always work, but the more the conversation works for the Sleeper, the more effective. The corpse will fleck away once the curse has been reversed.

3. Curses can continue to come back throughout October, but once you've experienced it once, it's less likely to occur again.

4. The Final Stage of the curse is the hardest to stop and most of the time, it's easiest to just kill the Cursed. It's easier to kill them than talk them out of their loneliness, but it is not impossible to talk them out of it. It requires dedication, patience, and some serious cleverness on how to survive a monster trying to kill you at the same time.

5. Loneliness can be widely interpreted once in the Final Stage. People should generally still look like themselves. How people act in this stage can vary from character to character and should be centric to how characters deal with their loneliness in general. If they're prone to shutting people out, then maybe their Loneliness is aloof and distant. If they're prone to clinging to toxic people, then maybe their Loneliness is accidentally violent. It's open to interpretation.

LEGENDS OF TRENCH

WHEN: All October
WHERE: Everywhere
CONTENT WARNINGS: Ghosts, Themes of death.

---

Unfortunately, not everyone can gain control of their loneliness. As blood is spilled throughout Trench over loneliness, this blood pollution festers and begins to claim poor souls. Corruption leads way to beasthood and people lost to this find themselves transforming into familiar, legendary ghost stories of old-world lore. These Legendary Ghosts come out primarily at night. As the Black Parade established, anyone who keeps their faces disguised with make-up or masks will be completely safe from the Legendary Ghosts. Though if you go after a Legendary Ghost in a costume, you'll only be safe until you attack them. It's not a bad move for a sneak attack though!

...But those who forgot to dress up or felt like such superstitions wouldn't work...

Congratulations, you might come across the path of a Dullahan: a headless horseman carrying a whip made from a spinal cord, ready to throw basins of blood on you and draw in other beasts. Or maybe you encounter a far more subtle Legendary Ghost. Maybe you see a hitchhiker on the side of the road and decide to give them a ride, but when you look in your rearview mirror, they are no longer in your backseat. While most of these Legendary Ghosts are intending to harm you and spread more blood pollution, some just seem to be genuinely lost souls, lost to corruption, lost to their own failures and loneliness. In some cases, freeing them is protecting yourself and others, but in other cases, freeing them is just simple kindness.

You may meet a ghost bride who is waiting eternally for her wedding by one of the shrines in Cassandra. Maybe you meet a ghostly scholar at the Archives in Gaze. The spirits range widely and seem to haunt every corner of Trench - including your own homes. The only real way to deter a Legendary Ghost from your home is by heavily decorating your home with things like jack-o-lanterns, fake blood splatters, fake gravestones, and various other death-centric decor. This seems to repel Legendary Ghosts as they see it as a reminder of their own fate. Some are angered by the decorations while others are terrified by them and seem incapable of telling the difference between real blood and fake blood.

QUICK FACTS

1. These corrupt souls can be saved through blood rituals/magic/ghost banishings relying on blood artifacts. This will usually put the soul to rest - it will not bring people "back to life."

2. While it is mostly Trenchies turning into these beings, Sleepers can also be transformed into Legendary Ghosts. We provide a general outline, but the idea is that people are turning into legendary ghost stories so you can play with your own ideas/canons.

While Trenchies cannot be saved, we leave it up to you if a Sleeper could be brought back to themselves or if they will have to "die" to be cured of their Legendary Ghost status.

3. You can use famous Legendary Ghosts from around the world. We gave a few examples, but have fun with this! The Legendary Ghost-like creature you go with should generally be "ghost-like" / have to do with death specifically. They do not need to be exclusively evil/violent spirits, but many are.

CODING

Comments

ii

[chickenchoicejudy]

[Towards the end of the month, Ryan is finally starting to feel a little better about everything. He's got a couple of songs that don't totally suck, he's gotten reassurance from everyone, and better yet the whatever the hell it was that was following him around is gone for the time being. The last couple of days he's felt good - still headachey, but he feels lighter and it makes all the difference.

More importantly, it makes him more able to see that loneliness hanging over Wu, and it sends a chill through him. Is that really what he looked like before? Wow.

Tomo leaps off of Ryan's shoulder immediately and runs to Fritter's side, hopping up on the table and curling themself up with their sad friend.]

Uh. Hey, Wu.

[It takes everything Ryan has to ignore to waves coming off of loneliness curse, but he pushes through it and puts a hand on Wu's shoulder. Wu was one of the people who pulled him out of that pit, and he wants to be able to do the same.]

You doing okay? You look kinda beat, man.

[royalfling]

[ Wu jerks at the touch, not having heard Ryan approach. He looks back at Ryan with wide eyes, his lips parting. He's still stuck, but he feels the concern coming from that touch, and that helps, a bit. That helps because it's not his feeling.

Ryan will also see another Wu, mottled and rotting and watching them both. He isn't yet completely gone, but the corpse is there, present behind Wu, dead eyes impassive.

Wu looks away again, down at the painting in his hands. It is in fact of a raccoon. ]

I'm fine! Doing great. Just, um. Tired. Who knew putting together a theater was hard work?

[ He laughs weakly, fingers turning pale as he grips the painting. ]

[chickenchoicejudy]

[Oh no. He knows that bullshit tone really well, even without his newfound empathy. But because he knows it well, he doesn't challenge it just yet. He tries to smile, though in a number of ways it's just as fake.]

Dude, you've been working so hard on it. Why don't we go take a break, okay?

[He moves his hand down to take the painting, if Wu will let him. If he does, he'll set it carefully on the floor. If not, he'll just stay there helping him hold it until he does something with it himself.]

I know there's a lot to do, but you really need a minute. Besides, uh...well...

[How to put it delicately? ...Actually he's pretty sure he can't put it delicately at all.]

...You soooorta have company. Behind you.

[Wu probably can figure out what he means even if he doesn't look. He's helped enough people with their own Loneliness-es, after all.]

[royalfling]

[ Working too hard isn't something Wu has ever been accused of before. He would laugh, but it's hard to right now. He lets Ryan take the painting from him, and his arms fall to his sides. Maybe he does need a break.

He flinches instead of looking around. He can't see it. He's tried. He's tried, and that just makes it worse because what if this is just him? How he's feeling? Lonely and sad and tired, worried and scared that maybe this is real, maybe he is this alone.

Except Ryan is here now. Ryan is trying to help him ]

That... makes sense. Boy, is it scary? I, I hope it's not that scary.

[ If his only company was that scary, well...

It is kind of scary. Gaunt and skeletal, skin pulled too tight over his face, reaching out a hand for Wu as if to take him back from Ryan ]

[chickenchoicejudy]

[It is terrifying, and Ryan is close enough to Wu that he will feel the fear rolling off of him. There's no sense in lying when he literally can't, but he tries to put it nicely.]

...Eh. No more scary than mine was?

[So, yes. Definitely scary. But Ryan isn't going anywhere.

Ryan smiles though and takes Wu by the arm and tugs him along, out of the theater and into the lobby, but more importantly out of arm's reach of the Loneliness. It feels a little like he's walking them away from a slow moving zombie.]

C'mon. Some fresh air will totally help.

[He vaguely shouts something behind him to anyone else who might be working on the theater, just a quick little HEY WE'RE GOING ON BREAK! WE'LL BE BACK so no one wonders where their favorite host has run off to.]

[royalfling]

[ Steering Wu is like steering someone who's sleepwalking. He goes easily under Ryan's touch, leaning into it, glad to have him there. How did he let himself go this far? He's so good at controlling his feelings, at containing them, at funneling them into something else. But here he is, needing help again, making Ryan take care of him like he has with Mako for so long. He can't take care of himself at all, and that's just proven to him again and again.

Loneliness brings out the worst thoughts in him: that he isn't worth anything, that he isn't lovable, that he's alone by his own doing, because of who he is, because no one can like him.

Outside, it's still a little bit light, and that surprises Wu. He can't see the sun inside the theater, and loses track of time. He thought it was already night, for some reason. ]

Yeah, yeah! That'll... totally help.

[ He offers Ryan a little smile ]

Yours was pretty scary.

[chickenchoicejudy]

[Wu's trying. He's echoing him and he's trying, and it feels like a good sign, so Ryan smiles back. He gives Wu's sleeve a tug and starts to sit them down on the front step.

(He assumes Wu will not appreciate that part of it so much later, but Ryan remembers how little energy he had when he was going through this. His Loneliness weighed heavy on him. It'll be good for Wu to sit and actually rest and not feel like he has to be stressing about the interior of the theater while he does it. Desperate times call for desperate measures, like basically sitting on the ground.)]

Yeah, it was. But...I think all of them are? Nobody's walking around with their Loneliness going "You know, actually this corpse version of me is kinda cute! Super not terrifying at all!"

[It's said pretty tentatively, a sad attempt to make Wu laugh just a little. He puts his hand on Wu's shoulder again, and gives a gentle squeeze.]

But eventually we got it to go away, right? And...yeah, okay, maybe it took a while, but we can definitely do it again. We already did it once.

[It really did take Ryan an embarrassingly long time to get his Loneliness to fade away, or at least he thinks it's embarrassing now that he's out of that haze. That doesn't matter now though - this is Wu! And he's going to help Wu the way Wu helped him.]

[royalfling]

[ He does laugh, just a little, and doesn't protest about sitting on the ground. At least he's wearing some of his Deerington slacks and now any of his nicer clothes. He's had too many near-accidents with paint to wear his nicer clothes to fix up the Raccoon Room. ]

You did.

[ They did do it once, together, and Wu feels kind of pathetic for falling into the trap when he knew what could happen, he knew this could happen, but he feels so hopeless and so alone and he can't help but think that Ryan is just pitying him right now.

He stares down at his hands, hating how familiar this feeling is. He was always so good at moving past it, before. He was so good at soldiering on, at finding the joy in the world even when everything was falling apart. When his parents died, and he was left with a new nanny in the palace, and he was moved away from his friends, trapped within the walls, the servants too tentative around him to be friends, no animals to be seen. He was so, so very alone.

He has friends now, but are they friends? Or are they just putting up with him? His spoiled, annoying self. That's all he is, isn't it? Why would they want to be friends with him.

At least he's too tired to cry, his eyes completely dry because why cry about something so very true ]

You don't have to do this.

[chickenchoicejudy]

Neither did you. I mean, how many times did you come to my shitty apartment in the last few weeks? When you had all the theater stuff to do on top of it?

[It might be a little self-deprecating, but not aggressively so. He's just pointing out that it's not strange to worry about a friend and try hard to take care of them. And Wu tried really hard, for a really long time.]

I want to do this. But...I think you have to talk to me for it to work?

[At least, that's been the common theme any time his own Loneliness vanished. He lets go of Wu's shoulder, but only so he can hold one of his hands instead. It's something they have to do together, and Ryan is here even though he knows how much it sucks.]

So, go ahead. ...Talk to me.

[royalfling]

[ Wu's own logic doesn't make sense, but he can't think himself out of it right now. Of course he helped Ryan, Ryan is cool and fun and interesting and Wu likes being around him and wanted to make sure he was okay. But Wu? Wu doesn't deserve that sort of attention. He isn't cool or fun or interesting, he's just... Wu.

But Ryan is still sitting here and he's holding his hand and Wu feels something like hope, like maybe Ryan does actually like him and isn't just tolerating him. He's so tired of just being tolerated ]

Talk about, about, [ his Loneliness. His loneliness. That's what it is, isn't it? He doesn't know what to say, though, doesn't know how to say all the things bubbling up inside of him because he doesn't talk about them, he never does. He's never had anyone to say them to, except Mako, but Mako doesn't want to hear that. He wants fun, happy Wu.

He hunches his shoulders, wishing that he could be that again, wishing he could muster up the energy to put on his usual face, to smile, to pretend like everything is okay because that's what makes everything okay. Like what he did after Auntie was killed, those first few weeks, months, in Republic City. He picked himself up from the dismal reality of being the last one left, the only one, his parents, dead, his cousins, dead. Aunts, uncles, everyone gone. There's nothing quite so lonely as having no connections, no family, no friends, anyone he knew back in Ba Sing Se dead or gone, only Dai Li bodyguards for company, and they were awful company.

And yet he picked himself up. He smiled, acted like everything was fine because he had to be fine.

Through the touch, Ryan gets a memory, one Wu buried, of hearing Raiko and the Dai Li talking behind a closed door where he could definitely hear them:

"He's the only one left, it has to be him."

"Him?! He has no training, he's too young, he isn't king material! There has to be someone else."

"There's no one else. He's the last of the line. He doesn't need to be more than a figurehead. He won't make any real decisions. We have someone we believe will do well to bring the Earth Kingdom in line."

"And he'll ascend the throne once the violence has stopped?"

"Yes, and we'll be sure that he can't do anything. He'll be a good king."

Once the memories start, they're hard to stop, and he starts tearing up because it's not something he likes thinking about. From behind yet another door, talked about yet again:

A familiar voice this time, Bolin: "Oh, okay, so you think your new best friend in there would be a better leader than Kuvira?"

Wu can hear it all from inside the suite, his ear pressed to the door, hearing Bolin yelling and Mako's quieter response: "Well, no, but still--"

"Still what? Come on, Mako, I'm making a difference out there. What are you doin', huh? You're just some glorified butler for some snotty, rich bozo."

"I'm sorry. I don't want to work for your glorious emperor in her military dictatorship."

"Fine! I'm gonna go back to my awesome train, where we bring freedom wherever we go. Enjoy licking the King's boots in your Junior Suite!" ]

[chickenchoicejudy]

[Ryan had been half-expecting something like this - it already happened once with Eddie, and it had been a lot more chaotic then. They were lost in moment after moment after moment and Ryan had to hold on like he was on a bucking bronco. Comparatively, this isn't too bad. This is something he can do. He can take it in, if Wu can't say it out loud.

He keeps a firm hold on Wu's hand and lets the memories wash over them both. Ryan's never been in line for a throne, but he doesn't have to have been to understand. The memories are heavy with the emotion they carry, and Ryan can feel it as though they're his own feelings. And a week ago, they were his feelings.

Now and then he squeezes Wu's hand, both as a reminder that he's here and a reminder that they aren't actually lurking behind any doors. They're sitting on the ground in front of the Raccoon Room, holding hands.]

Okay, but you're not King anymore. Those guys suck for treating you like that, but you never have to deal with them again. You have your own life now, on your own terms, and you're doing something really cool with it. Something you actually want to do, with people you care about.

[Ryan still isn't perfect at this, and it's not as though he's had a ton of chances to practice, so for a second Wu will get a glimpse of Ryan's knee-jerk association with that sentiment - a memory of driving down a long, quiet road in a beat-up van, alone.

The memory switches in a quick flash, like a sudden channel change, and Wu will see himself dressed down and showing Ryan the Raccoon Room for the first time ever. He's the way Ryan remembers him - smiling wide and bursting with excitement that Ryan thought was totally infectious. There's not a single doubt in Ryan's mind that Wu's really found his calling, the way he shows off every little detail of everything. The two of them stood on the stage together, dreaming big about what the Raccoon Room would be. So who needs those dumb guards anyway?]

And I don't know how long ago that other thing was, but Mako loves you, dude. It's written all over his face whenever he looks at you!

[He swaps the current memory out for another - the day Ryan met Wu and Mako. The two of them had been all over each other that day, or at least Ryan had thought so, being from a world where it would have been striking to be so close in public. They shared small glances and smiles, they held onto each other, and Wu even kissed him on the cheek. Sure, Mako was a little more subdued about it than Wu, but Ryan caught those fond looks that day. He remembers because they made him miss Min-Gi intensely in the moment, but he tries to push that part down as much as he can - Wu doesn't need his old loneliness on top of all this.]

[royalfling]

[ Wu stares at his hands as Ryan talks, as those memories shutter through his mind. It almost hurts more: Ryan, alone, but living his dream; himself, so happy, with Ryan, with Mako. He feels like he was lying, like maybe Mako was, too. Does Mako love him? He's not sure he's ever believed it, no matter how much Mako tells him, or kisses him, or spends time with him. No matter how special Mako makes him feel, he always feels like he has to prove himself to be useful, to be fun, to be sexy, that he can give Mako everything he wants. ]

No, I... I don't have to, but I--

[ Tears spill from his eyes, dripping down his cheeks onto his hands, but he doesn't do anything to dry them off ]

I have no one. Back home, it's just me, it's... they're all dead.

[ Not that he was close with this great-aunt or any of his relatives, but they were family, and family is important.

Maybe Ryan felt like he lied to Wu about being successful, but Wu feels like he lied to Ryan about being popular, about being someone that people like being around ]

I don't, I don't have friends, Ryan. I only, only realized it in Deerington. They all hated me. Mako, Bolin, Korra, they all did and it was all my fault.

[ His breath hitches, his thin shoulders folding in. He looks so small like this, looks younger than his age, like the boy who lost his family and was thrust into too much power too young, not prepared for it, not supported, making decisions he wasn't ready to make.

Maybe things are different here, in Deerington, in Trench, but it still hurts, it's still fresh. He isn't comfortable in his relationships, isn't sure of himself, knows that one wrong move might make everything he's built tumble down around him. That maybe that's what he's doing right now. He's being a burden. He's putting something on Ryan that he doesn't need, that he doesn't want. He isn't worth being this kind of burden.

He presses his face into his hands, shoulders shaking, and he's so, so certain that when he looks up, Ryan will be gone. ]

I'm sorry.

[chickenchoicejudy]

[Ryan's still there.

He went quiet for a moment, taking in Wu's words, but when Wu looks he'll see he hasn't gone anywhere. This sort of comfort doesn't always come naturally to Ryan - there's always a fear he's going to put his foot in his mouth and say the wrong thing - but all that means is that he has to put more effort in. He has to take the time to say what he really needs to say. When he does speak it's oddly gentle.]

Well...you have me? I'm your friend, Wu.

[Whatever he went through with everyone else, Ryan wasn't there for that. He has no reason to hold any of it against Wu. There are no anecdotes this time. He just listens.]

...Why do they hate you?

[He doesn't want to validate it, but telling Wu that what he's feeling isn't accurate seems the wrong thing to do here. But if he's going to help Wu, he has to know what Wu thinks is wrong. He got a glimpse, a tiny snapshot of a political issue he doesn't understand, but it feels more personal than that somehow. These aren't political rivals or whatever - these are his friends.

Carefully, he sets his hand on Wu's knee. He's here no matter what the answer is.]

[royalfling]

[ The catastrophizing in Wu's brain is starting to ebb a little with that touch, feeling Ryan's concern, genuine and true, through the touch. This new ability is helpful, to wade through the mire of what he thinks people think of him. At least he can know how they feel, and that feeling from Ryan makes him sniffle, and offer him a soft smile, dropping his hand over Ryan's. ]

You, you are. I'm your friend, too. I-- sorry. I didn't mean that you're not my friend!

[ If Wu swore, this is when he would do it, because he doesn't want to make Ryan feel bad because he feels bad about himself. ]

I, I was really annoying. Really annoying. I was awful to Korra and, and Asami. I made them so uncomfortable, but they still helped me! More than once. They, they're such good people. And Bolin, he... I think he's forgiven me, but we, um. Didn't get along.

I made Mako take care of me. I, I honestly don't know why he puts up with, with me now. I told him, he didn't have to. That I'm not his, his responsibility anymore. But he stays. I...

[ They had that conversation, nearly a year ago. That Mako isn't doing this out of some sense of duty, but those old fears rear up, now and then, and the seed of loneliness that's always there in Wu's gut grew, grew big and wild and choked him, making him look at Mako with fear.

His voice is choked when he goes on ]

I love him so much. He's, he's such a wonderful person, he deserves so much, and I want to give it to him, but I still, I worry that he doesn't, doesn't really want me.

[ Saying it out loud makes it seem stupid. Mako doesn't have to take care of him anymore, and yet he does. He doesn't have to stick around, and yet he does. He doesn't have to invest his time and energy into Wu's silly project, and yet he does. He doesn't have to live with Wu and wake up with him every day, but he does.

Wu lets out a breath, and a new feeling sinks through him. It's guilt. Guilt that he isn't valuing Mako, that he's letting his own fears override everything that Mako's told him, everything that he's given him.

He feels like he's breaking through a fog, seeing the sunlight filtering through the clouds, feeling the warmth on his face, for the first time in days. The corpse of himself shrinks back, fading slowly, no longer quite solid. All of these feelings filter through the touch, the guilt, the relief, the confusion at his own fear, the loneliness that's still there, but losing its footing. ]

[chickenchoicejudy]

[The correction makes Ryan laugh a little.]

Dude, it's okay. I know you didn't.

[And he does know. If he was lying, Wu would be able to feel it through their touch. Ryan absolutely wasn't worried about it - he was just making sure Wu knew he wasn't faking it.

He lets Wu get it out, guiding him to that realization without handing it to him. For a minute or so he'd been worried, but he can feel the emotions break in Wu, the turn from these feelings as an absolute truth to these feelings as something not quite rational. The guilt isn't ideal, but it's a start.]

I worry about that kind of thing with Min all the time. Seriously! Like, he's never been my body guard or anything, but I still wonder sometimes if I like...forced him to stick around, or if he's doing it because he feels bad for me or thinks I need to be babysat or something. But then I'll get scared he's going to decide he hates it someday and take off! I know it's dumb of me, but...I dunno. I just...want him to feel good about what we're doing together.

[He isn't dwelling in those feelings though, not now, but he knows what Wu means. Commiserating is different. He grins and nudges Wu's shoulder, taking on a teasing tone.]

Plus there is no way you were more annoying than me. I'm calling it now. I don't care what you've done, there is no way you even hold a candle to my level of annoying. It's off the charts, man.

[If Wu's going to feel awful about himself, he's going to have to do it with company. There's none of the awful loneliness or sadness in Ryan's emotions - he just wants to help, and he's been where Wu is.]

[royalfling]

You worry about that, too? [ It's reassuring, knowing that, and he looks up at Ryan with red-ringed eyes. He's still sniffling, but the crying is dying down now ] I, I want that, too. Mako never, he never lets me help him, so it's always him helping me and I wonder what he's getting out of being with me...

[ It's maybe more honest than he meant to be, and he laughs, leaning into Ryan's side ]

I doubt that. I was so annoying! I, did I tell you about my first coronation? It was horrible, Ryan. Just horrible! They didn't even have a crown for me, just this little broach that was definitely my Auntie's old earring, and Kuvira crashed it completely and declared herself the ruler of the Earth Empire-- you know, that isn't the point. I threw a tantrum afterwards, I made Mako deal with me like that because I, I couldn't deal with everything. He never wanted to work for me, Ryan. He wanted to be a detective, but I made him work for me because I liked him, and it's so messed up but now he's with me because, because, he wants to be, but sometimes I wonder-- [ If he really does, if it's still that sense of duty.

He shakes his head. ]

I don't think you're annoying at all. Except when you refuse to take care of your home. That is really annoying.

[chickenchoicejudy]

He's getting you, obviously. And he wants that!

[It's playful and light, and from someone who has the same worries and fears. When Wu leans on him, Ryan slings an arm around his shoulders in a sort of side-hug. Mention of his awful apartment gets a startled laugh out of him. But this isn't about his terrible apartment, and that might turn into a whole thing so he side-steps it.]

Dude, you had your big day ruined. Anyone might have thrown a tantrum over that! At least that's like, understandable.

[Ryan takes a deep breath. Okay. Time to admit his own terrible stuff.]

So...you know I had a solo career. But like, it wasn't supposed to be a solo career. Me and Min had talked about wanting to run off and tour with our band and play New York City since we were like, in middle school. But when the time came...he wasn't ready, and I tried to rush him. He panicked right before our first show and left me on stage alone, and I didn't chase after him. I just...I didn't try to work things out? I didn't wait for him. I just decided he didn't want what I wanted and I took off alone. It was...a whole thing, for like a year.

[He makes a gesture with his free hand, like he's sweeping the entire contents of that year aside. He doesn't like to talk about it a ton.]

Fast forward and I totally hit rock bottom. I didn't even have a van anymore, just the money in my pocket and clothes and guitar on my back. And I got this stupid idea that I would go back to Min and try and make him come with me this time, like I could just make everything like it was supposed to be.

[He looks at Wu before going on, to try and gauge exactly how much he's being judged for this story. It's...not the most comfortable thing for him to admit, but Wu should hear it. Wu should know there are very real reasons that Ryan thinks he's the more annoying one here.]

[royalfling]

[ Wu's glad for the arm around him, leaning into Ryan's side. He's always been a tactile person, even if he had no one to indulge him for a long time. He still feels like he's making up for it ]

Doing something like that alone sounds really hard!

[ There isn't judgement there, not really. The story is good, it's distracting, even if Wu is disappointed in Min on Ryan's behalf, imagining Min leaving him alone on stage. Wu sort of knows how that feels, having to be up there alone, having to do it all yourself.

He's glad he had President Moon to have his back when he needed it. ]

Was he? Ready, when you came back?

[chickenchoicejudy]

Pfft. No. He was working at a diner, and getting ready to go to uni in the fall for finance. He was taking the safe and easy road and refusing to follow his dreams!

[A memory will flutter into Wu's mind - Ryan and Min-Gi talking at a booth in a cheesy-looking restaurant after close. They both seem tired in different ways, and kind of awkward as though they don't quite remember how to talk to each other anymore. Ryan is trying - babbling about whatever comes into his mind to try and make it feel normal, but everything has a manic edge to it.

Ryan can tell it's happening. But...at least it's Wu. It's nothing he wasn't already planning on saying.]

I was desperate to get him to come with me, so...I used the rest of my money on two one-way train tickets to New York. I told him I'd booked a show, and I figured-- I don't know, that he would come if I already had the tickets? If I seemed like I had a plan? It...wasn't my best plan ever.

[It shows in the memory, and the emotion seeps into every inch of it. Ryan probably would have said anything to make Min go with him, and because what else did he have to lose at that point? It was time to take a wild swing, because he couldn't possibly end up more alone than he already was.]

Obviously he said no because it was like, insane, but I, uh. Didn't take it well. I kinda...

[It happens in the memory before Ryan manages to say it - he snatched Min-Gi's keys right off the table and ran with them. He winces at the memory, but he lets it play out. Wu can watch him laugh into the night as he bolts down the street.]

...Stole his keys? And ran all the way to the train station with them? I think I thought if I just got him one the train he'd have to come with me. It was...ugh, I don't even know what it was.

[royalfling]

Ryan!

[ Wu looks up at him, aghast ]

You made him follow you? That's, that's-- [ really annoying, and kind of hilarious. Wu bursts out in an incredulous laugh, looking at Ryan in a different light now because, wow. He didn't know he had that in him ] Wow, Ryan! Did he follow you? He did, right? Did he get so mad? Mako would get super mad if I did something like that to him.

[ He shakes his head, completely distracted from his own loneliness. The corpse is gone now, his absence unnoticed by Wu, at least, whose full attention is on Ryan. ]

[chickenchoicejudy]

[Of all the reactions Wu could have, this is probably the best one Ryan could have hoped for. Ryan deserves judgement, he knows he does, but at least he's just getting laughed at - and it's hard for Wu to call himself annoying in comparison, so everyone wins.]

Yeah, he was super mad. He chased me all the way across town, right onto a train!

[Because Ryan sure did run right onto a train. Was it even the right train? Who knows! But Ryan sure does run on without stopping, pushing through train cars until he and Min wind up in a car on their own.]

Would you believe I made it worse? Because I made it worse! I just kept digging my hole deeper!

[In the memory, Ryan moves to keep going, but when he throws open the door to go to the next train car, a different train speeds by. Both of them stare in shock and awe as a wormhole opens up in front of them, swirling and beckoning them.

Ryan looks at the keys. He looks at Min-Gi, who shakes his head.

But it's too late. The thought is there, and Ryan gets an impish grin before chucking Min's keys into the portal and running in after them. There's a flash, and then the memory goes dark.]

Soooo. Yeah. I'm definitely the more annoying one here. You're totally fine! A tantrum is practically endearing next to throwing someone's keys in a magical wormhole!

[royalfling]

[ That memory leaves him speechless for so many reasons. For the fact that there's a wormhole. For the fact that Ryan threw the keys into a wormhole. Wu is laughing helplessly, his head dropping to Ryan's shoulder because he doesn't know what else to do. His body shakes with it, and he's practically crying again, but out of joy. Joy because he feels better. Joy because he has a friend, a real friend, who wants him to feel better so badly that he'll share something awful he did to try and out-annoying Wu.

He can't get his laughter under control, even as he tries to say ]

You, you, you are so annoying! How could you do that to Min? His face!

[ It shouldn't be funny. It shouldn't be, but he can't help it, the catharsis of laughter seeping into his bones. He wants to know what that wormhole was, wants to know what happened next, but any questions are lost to tearful laughter as he burying his face into Ryan's shoulder ]

[chickenchoicejudy]

[It really shouldn't be funny at all, especially since Ryan lived it, but Wu's laughter is infectious (possibly literally with their shared paleblood abilities) and Ryan winds up crackling up right along with him.]

I-- I don't know! I don't even know why I thought that would help!

[He really did think so at the time, but looking back on it now, what did he think was going to happen? That Min would just give up and roll along with everything? That he would just forget how pissed off he was? He breathes, and finally reels in his laughter.]

But even if I'm maybe actually the most annoying person ever...we still patched things up. And he still changed his mind and hit the road with me. So, it all worked out? Somehow?

[That explains absolutely nothing about how they got from point A to point B, at all.]

[royalfling]

He did? That's great! Chicken Choice Judy rides again.

[ His laughter dies down, too, leaving him feeling exhausted but happy. What was he thinking? Of course he has people who care about him. Even if his family didn't, he doesn't need them. He has Mako and Bolin and Ryan and Chuck and Raleigh and Manabu and Lysithea. His friends, his family, people who care about him for him and not for who his parents were.

He's quiet now, his mind a little hazy from exhaustion, but then-- ]

Wait, what was that weird train? That you threw Min's keys into?

[chickenchoicejudy]

[He's so glad it helped and so relieved the corpse version of Wu is gone. The laughter feels good, even if it's at his expense. He should have probably expected the follow-up question, but it still surprises him a little.]

Oh, that. That was...I don't know if it actually had a name? I keep calling it the Wormhole Judgement Line. But I think most people there just called it The Train.

[Which honestly, that's not very creative. The Train could use some better branding, honestly.]

We woke up in weird grey jumpsuits with glowing numbers on our hands? [He holds up his right hand, even though the number isn't there anymore.] And we had to like...learn lessons to make our number go down - and it really was our number. They were synced together, so if one of us messed up and made it go up, both our numbers went up. But uh, if we didn't get our numbers to zero we were going to be stuck there forever.

[He would be more worried about this sounding impossible or insane, but...they're in Trench. They're part squid. They literally just banished a physical embodiment of Wu's loneliness. It's totally par for the course.]

Every car had something different to try and get you to learn lessons. Like one was the wild west but with bug cowboys, and there was a horrible pig baby you had to cook for, and an astronaut party, a sentient castle - all kinds of weird stuff!