deercountry | ( CLOSED ) MY LONELINESS IS KILLING ME.

[ tilting her head to the side, she gives stefan a pointed look. but while her face may be pointed towards him, she's watching luca from the corner of her eye. perhaps behaving somewhat normally may get a rise out of him. ]

You're so cheeky, Stefan.

[ she glances at stefan before she focuses her gaze back on luca. nadia seems to be all right, hiding behind her hand as she giggles. the giggling is a cause for concern, but katherine doesn't think to nudge stefan about it just yet. ]

The only one we should be laughing at is you. Silly Papa.

( luca can finally reacts and this time, he's the one giggling. it's slower than nadia's giggle but it's a giggle and he smiles, reaching up to touch his face before he giggles again. )

Is this...is this good?

( he wishes they would talk. he wishes they would say anything. giggling is a step in the right direction but he wishes they would talk. )

I would assume so. [ there's no more playfulness to her tone; she's serious now, voice quiet. ] It's better than being still.

[ while katherine knows she's intricately tried to the dream, she doesn't dare press against it to find out if anything has changed. she's worried that if she does, it'll fall apart. ]

I think you just… keep encouraging them to fight, and they'll come back.

Okay.

( after a minute of quiet, stefan reaches out and rubs at luca's shoulder, trying to instill some warmth into him, trying to bring him back a little more. )

Talk to them, Katherine. Not just me. We both need to do this.

I… I don't know what to say.

[ katherine, for all of her plans and words, is at a loss here. she thinks stefan's handling it well, as he always does. she thinks that it's good that they're responding to him. that's what she's wanted.

what if she says the wrong thing? does the wrong thing? katherine knows stefan will only encourage her to say what she wants as nothing she could possibly want to tell the kids would be wrong.

she reaches out to touch nadia's cheek. ]

I just miss them.

Tell them that.

( he reaches for luca's shoulder and rubs it, watching him smile and laugh again. )

Tell them that you miss them. Don't tell me.

[ she's stupidly afraid to.

she looks at stefan for a few moments longer, knowing that she can look at him and be afraid and it won't matter as much. he accepts that. he's very accepting of her. but she doesn't want nadia or luca to see that in her.

she turns to face them and reaches out to gently take both of their hands. nadia's fingers are boneless in hers while luca grips her hand tightly. ]

Do you both know I miss you very, very much?

[ nadia wriggles her fingers but keeps them boneless, letting katherine hold her hand.

katherine lets go of their hands and opens her arms wide, resting one along stefan's shoulders. ]

This much.

( it still doesn't feel like everything's right. the kids still feel off. he frowns, giving his head a shake. they're coming back but it's not all the way.

luca swings one of his arms. )

We both miss you very much and we both love you. Do you miss us?

( he wants to hear their voices. )

[ nadia twists on the spot, her hands behind her back. she looks cheekily at stefan before she shrugs her shoulder.

Katherine laughs lightly. ] That's not nice, Nadia.

[ nadia merely smiles wider, lips pressed together. she continues to twist on the spot happily. ]

( stefan frowns, still not completely liking how this was going. he doesn't know why, can't really place it, but he doesn't like it. )

Luca?

( luca just laughs. )

Katherine, I don't...does this seem right to you?

No.

[ she reluctantly admits it. of course, it doesn't. nadia should have her hands on her hips and luca… luca, neither of them know. he's a blank slate, one that she hopes they come to know sooner rather than later. ]

But you have to remember that they're fighting the Trench. [ she states that matter-of-factly when she has no idea how this is even happening. if she sounds confident, perhaps she can be confident. ] That in itself has to be hard.

I know.

( he's glad to hear that she thinks this is strange too, that he's not the only one feeling that way. he swallows and shakes his head. )

What else can we do?

[ katherine doesn't answer for a long moment, considering his question. she doesn't have the answers, but she can only think of how she had tried to reach stefan when he had been lost in his own lack of humanity and ripperyness. what she had tried to do was reach out to him. he'd been buried deep down.

all they're doing is talking to them. talking about nothing that they can hold onto. ]

Maybe you should tell them of a memory. Tell them about something that's real.

A memory?

( stefan balks for a moment, frowns, trying to figure out what he might tell them. )

Nadia, you...you used to brush my hair. You see all this hair? I let you take a brush to it and do all sorts of things to it. You are a very good hairdresser, you know.

She is.

[ katherine smiles, remembering that time in his kitchen when she had tangled his hair and made an absolute mess of it. she remembers it being the first time that she realised stefan was burrowing his way beneath her skin with no intention of budging.

reaching for nadia's hand, she wraps her fingers gently around her wrist. katherine guides her hand over to stefan, prompting nadia to take a few steps so she can touch stefan's hair.

and once her fingertips brush against the strands, her fingers thread through it roughly. ]

( it's a rougher touch than she used to give him but he doesn't budge, letting her pull and touch in the hopes that maybe it would jog a memory.

he blinks a few times, looking over at katherine and then luca before he focuses back on nadia. )

How's it feel? Feel okay?

[ katherine smiles encouragingly at nadia, similar to how she had done so a year ago when she had been shy and in the presence of someone who was both very cute and incredibly important to her mother. ]

Funny.

[ nadia wrinkles her nose. brushing the ends again, she shakes her head. ]

Soft.

[ and then she tugs on stefan's hair in the same manner she had manhandled it in his kitchen. ]

Oh, I remember that.

( he laughs, letting her yank his hair and then making a face. )

Funny, soft hair that got yanked around by tiny little hands.

( CLOSED ) MY LONELINESS IS KILLING ME.

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