But Still the Days Seem the Same [CLOSED]

[spiritwalks]

Who: Obi-Wan jedies and Vyng spiritwalks
What: A chill evening in an empty, abandoned bar
When: Very beginning of July
Where: Colonel Dan's in Red Cellar

Content Warnings: Listed in subject lines when applicable


((From here))

When they step inside, they're met by darkness pierced only by slivers of lamplight from the alley. Silence — rare in the entertainment district — blankets the place like dusty tarps draped over old furniture.

Vyng flips the switch. A warm glow spills onto a mahogany bar top, an empty stage, and the vacant booths lining the far wall. Nobody is here.

"Welcome to..." Laughter quietly colors Vyng's words. "This. Place."

(He forgot the name.)

Comments

[spiritwalks]

That's what I'm saying. People have their reasons. But even if they don't, there's nothing wrong with it.

[Sometimes, a fuzzy friend is just easier to share space with. Therapy animals are trained for that very purpose.]

[jedies]

True.

But equally so, there's nothing wrong with having a feeling about it.

[spiritwalks]

It'd be strange if I didn't. It was an integral part of my identity for longer than I can remember.

[jedies]

Mm. How does it feel now?

[spiritwalks]

How does what feel? Not being able to turn into animals anymore?

[jedies]

Yes. You said it was integral.

[ obi-wan imagines it. being cut off from the force. which he had been, for ten years. ]

[spiritwalks]

[He pauses. It's a big question, with more facets than a radiant diamond. After a moment, Vyng simply says:]

I miss it. I miss what it represents. Some part of me will always miss it, I think.

[jedies]

[ obi-wan can grasp that easily. ]

Sometimes we forget, as we move forward, we also lose certain things along the way.

[spiritwalks]

[Change is the only constant in life. Vyng's mother instilled that in him from a young age — maybe even earlier. At times that fact feels etched into Vyng's bones, seared into his blood, and creased into the palms of his hands.

But did his younger self have healthy examples of living with loss? His mother never aged. She kept her distance from the locals, and seldom spoke of his father. And his father? His father. . .

Well. Death doesn't lose anything.

(Death always takes, he coldly reminds Vyng. Look at me. Remember it well.)

But Vyng doesn't want to think of him right now. So, he shifts his attention to the natural swirls in the mahogany countertop. The damp bar mop towel in his hands. The quite shhhhhh of the faucet. He runs a thumb across his black-glass ring and lets out a slow breath.]

I never forgot.

It just. . . took awhile to actually let myself feel that loss, is all.

[jedies]

[ no. it's not a true forgetting. but it does get laid on the wayside. obi-wan acknowledges that quietly, what is said and unsaid with a quiet tilt of his head. ]

It takes time. Always.

[spiritwalks]

Most worthwhile things do.

[jedies]

Even the ones that you don't realize are.

[spiritwalks]

Hm. [His mouth curves into a quiet smile.] That's true. It's nice to wonder about all the lovely people and things we've yet to encounter in our lives.

[jedies]

As I've come to learn . . . there is always more, beyond the horizon.

[spiritwalks]

Very true. [A pause, and then:] ...Which reminds me. I have a request of you. You don't need to actually do anything — it's mostly a request to consider something for the future.

[jedies]

Of course. What is it?

thanks for your patience!

[spiritwalks]

All's I wanna ask is for you to consider reaching out to Billie and Tuck at some point. Spend some time with them. Get to know them a little better.

[It's a testament to how highly he regards Obi-Wan. Vyng is happy to let different pieces of his life peaceably co-exist without much overlap. In some ways, it's probably for the best. Tuck is a sensitive man. Billie is still functionally a child. And so much of Vyng is far too transient to bring new people home, home. But, somehow, somewhere along the way, he's come to realize:

Being with Obi-Wan is starting to feel a little like home, too.

Holding him at arm's length from the rest of him — like he's done with so many others in the past — is a disservice to the people he loves.]

It doesn't have to be tomorrow. Or next month. Or even this year, honestly. You've got a lot on your plate. And me and my family are also kind of a lot. But just, maybe, whenever your spirit is more moored...you might think about it. That's all.

[jedies]

[ obi-wan blinks as he takes in that request. he's not sure what he was expecting, but it wasn't that. after a while, he seems to soften. ]

Of course. I'll certainly keep it in mind.