[Now, Palamedes does not want to play a sport. This is just a fact: water is wet, they are all magic squid people now, Palamedes doesn't do great at physical activity. But he's given Jason his solemn word and he won't go back on that, and who knows - maybe, he will manage to have some fun, if he doesn't fall on his face and break it open. His face, that is. Completely.
That said, they are doing this in the Sanctuary's convalescent room that he had set up, but it's not like he even knows what a football is yet, so - no need for a field. Yet. The room is spacious enough for a little back and forth, featuring a few bunkbeds and a couch for resting, a table and chairs with games stacked on top, and an egregiously big hourglass that Palamedes dutifully turned over to start The Testing Hours some time ago. The hourglass is by the door, out of the way.
It's been a polite half hour-ish, for Resting, and so now Palamedes sticks his head in the room with a knock on the doorframe.]
Hi. If you're feeling fine and ordinary, I'm here about... a football lesson.
[Jason was trying to be good about testing that maybe-cursed talisman for Palamedes. Meaning that when he was supposed to sit and rest, he didn't pace around like he wanted to. But he hates sitting around doing nothing so he's been using the time to jot down training ideas or patrol schedules. Just something to keep himself busy.
He glances up, relieved to see Palamedes there]
Good. I'm ready to stretch my legs. Football is a team sport, but we can get the basics down with just the two of us.
The ball's about this big-- [He makes the shape with his hands]-- and looks kinda like a big almond. If you're an offensive player, you want to get the ball to your team's goal. If you're defensive, you want to stop the other team from scoring. that's the same in any sport. With me so far?
[The only real rule is to stay in the designated room, so whatever Jason decides to do in here is just fine by Palamedes' exacting standards. He comes all the way into the room, half expecting a ball to be chucked at his face— that's just kind of how the other athletic types he knows introduce him to sports, after all.
That said, he's only kind of sure what an almond is, and that seems like a weird shape for a sports ball? Okay...]
Two teams, throwing the almond around. Sure. [He produces a pocket notebook from, well, a pocket, and begins to Take Notes, because of course he does.] Then what?
It just looks like one. I could draw it for you if having a visual helps.
Anyway, this is where it gets more complicated. When your team has the ball, your offense is divided into the offensive line, the offensive back, and the receiver. Your offensive linemen are the strongest guys on your team; the running back is your speedster, 'cause he's the one who's gonna get the ball to the goal. The quarterback is the guy who throws the ball, so he's gotta have a good arm on him.
When I play offense, I'm usually the running back or the wide receiver.
[Rest assured he is writing all of this town, including the myriad questions he already has, like - how big are these teams? How many points... win? Sports are very confusing.
But after a lot of scribbling and nodding he holds the notebook and pen out to Jason; please, yes, do draw him a big almond. His handwriting is critically 'doctor scrawl,' but he's gotten it all down there.]
I do have to ask what the positions are for people who can't run, or throw, or take a hit.
'Bout 360 feet long. But the game always starts at the fifty yard line, right in the middle. A touchdown-- that's when you get the ball to the endzone-- is six points, and a field goal-- the kicker gettin' the ball through the goal-- is three.
Good to know; I'll write it down. [Hm.] You know, I'm much better utilized as a tactician than an athlete. Give me enough time and I could solve this whole sport.
[Solve, he says, like football is a solvable game like tic-tac-toe or checkers or something. It's objectively true that he's better suited to strategy, but also, anything to get out of physical activity.]
You're merciful. In that case, tell me the rules of where to put all these proper athletes.
[He knows sports plays exist, he's managed children's volleyball. Actually... he abruptly turns and goes to the board games table, taking out the box of checkers. Specifically, the actual checkers, it's time for visual aids.]
[He moves the pieces into the proper formation, explaining the player positions for both the offensive and defensive]
This is all theory. You can't really make strategies until you know who you're workin' with. You gotta know the person's strengths and weaknesses. It's like if I tried to put my tech guy as a sniper. That wouldn't be where he'd work best.
[He is scribbling all of this down, of course. Very different from volleyball, which is the fun part for him personally; the little different details. This is what sports are about!!]
Sure; of course. Assuming an ideal group of athletes is available can only get you so far. Which one suits you best?
One of these two. [He points to the pieces] I'm strong but I ain't big enough to be a good offensive lineman; I'm better suited as a running back or wide receiver. Their job is to haul ass as far down the field as they can get. On defense, I'd be a defensive end. They rush at the offensive tryin' to stop them from gettin' the ball down the field.
You know, team sports do a fantastic job at staving off corruption, in my observation. If you were interested in having a casual team meet up sometimes.
Good point. There is that volleyball group and those karate guys; having more sports wouldn't hurt. Though if we're doin' football, flag football would be better. You have these flags tied on ya that people snatch instead of tacklin' you.
jason → peak athleticism
That said, they are doing this in the Sanctuary's convalescent room that he had set up, but it's not like he even knows what a football is yet, so - no need for a field. Yet. The room is spacious enough for a little back and forth, featuring a few bunkbeds and a couch for resting, a table and chairs with games stacked on top, and an egregiously big hourglass that Palamedes dutifully turned over to start The Testing Hours some time ago. The hourglass is by the door, out of the way.
It's been a polite half hour-ish, for Resting, and so now Palamedes sticks his head in the room with a knock on the doorframe.]
Hi. If you're feeling fine and ordinary, I'm here about... a football lesson.
no subject
He glances up, relieved to see Palamedes there]
Good. I'm ready to stretch my legs. Football is a team sport, but we can get the basics down with just the two of us.
The ball's about this big-- [He makes the shape with his hands]-- and looks kinda like a big almond. If you're an offensive player, you want to get the ball to your team's goal. If you're defensive, you want to stop the other team from scoring. that's the same in any sport. With me so far?
no subject
That said, he's only kind of sure what an almond is, and that seems like a weird shape for a sports ball? Okay...]
Two teams, throwing the almond around. Sure. [He produces a pocket notebook from, well, a pocket, and begins to Take Notes, because of course he does.] Then what?
no subject
Anyway, this is where it gets more complicated. When your team has the ball, your offense is divided into the offensive line, the offensive back, and the receiver. Your offensive linemen are the strongest guys on your team; the running back is your speedster, 'cause he's the one who's gonna get the ball to the goal. The quarterback is the guy who throws the ball, so he's gotta have a good arm on him.
When I play offense, I'm usually the running back or the wide receiver.
no subject
But after a lot of scribbling and nodding he holds the notebook and pen out to Jason; please, yes, do draw him a big almond. His handwriting is critically 'doctor scrawl,' but he's gotten it all down there.]
I do have to ask what the positions are for people who can't run, or throw, or take a hit.
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Guess they could be a kicker. Those guys just come out to kick the ball in the goal for extra points.
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Just kick? How big is this field?
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[Solve, he says, like football is a solvable game like tic-tac-toe or checkers or something. It's objectively true that he's better suited to strategy, but also, anything to get out of physical activity.]
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That'd be a coach's role. They work with the teams on their plays and strategize over how to best implement each player.
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In that case: I would prefer to do that. I can't kick or run, hm, worth shit, I think is the best way to describe it.
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Then if we ever get a sports team together, we'll be sure to put you on as the coach.
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[He knows sports plays exist, he's managed children's volleyball. Actually... he abruptly turns and goes to the board games table, taking out the box of checkers. Specifically, the actual checkers, it's time for visual aids.]
Show me with these plastic pseudo-players?
no subject
[He moves the pieces into the proper formation, explaining the player positions for both the offensive and defensive]
This is all theory. You can't really make strategies until you know who you're workin' with. You gotta know the person's strengths and weaknesses. It's like if I tried to put my tech guy as a sniper. That wouldn't be where he'd work best.
no subject
Sure; of course. Assuming an ideal group of athletes is available can only get you so far. Which one suits you best?
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[He is writing it down, still, of course.]
You know, team sports do a fantastic job at staving off corruption, in my observation. If you were interested in having a casual team meet up sometimes.
no subject