endless seawater spaghetti

[siriusly]

Who: Manabu & Kazuma
What: Backdating some bullshit
When: August
Where: The lawboys' abode in Crenshaw

Content Warnings: nah just gay


[their exploration of the undersea path led them to a graveyard of ships, and from there...many things. more than they could carry on that initial venture. naturally, Manabu went back several times - and he needed someone to carry stuff, so hey, Kazuma came along, too! so besides the jars and jars of glowy plankton that seem to delight Ryunosuke to no end, they also brought...

some weird shit.

one of the polished stones with the alien writing and a small, squidlike totem are still in the house it seems - Manabu's not sure these are the decorations to really make a place cozy, but maybe Ryunosuke's trying to translate the markings? is that why there's books everywhere?]

It's me-- [he peels his eyes away from the relics as he steps inside, sidestepping as Magnet bullieson in.] Anyone in? I brought food.

Comments

[truerevival]

In here--[The call comes from further in the abode, one of the small rooms off the main hall. There are echoes of things being shuffled before Kazuma's head pops out of a doorway--] You have food?

[He looks disheveled, hair haphazardly brushed back and his hachimaki nowhere to be seen--he's been wearing it less and less lately. He hasn't gotten much sleep, time spent pouring over their finds and trying to find any information possible.]

[siriusly]

[said while bent down to unlace his boots, holding a wrapped box in one hand:] Aa, mn -- egg rolls from Willful Machine.

[Magnet approaches to sniff at Kazuma's feet, getting a whiff of something amiss. something ocean-y? meanwhile Manabu straightens back up and looks over to see--]

Whoa. [blinkblink.] You look like hell.

[and that's not even the statue no-filter at play - that's just the dang truth!]

[truerevival]

...I'm aware. [He knows he hasn't been the best with rest and that it only takes a matter of time for that stress to show.]

We had to deal with some flooding, and there's the matter of looking into what we managed to find in that wreckage. [All excuses, he knows. But he makes them all the same.]

I have things set up back here...We can go over what we found again. [Not that he expects anything new to come out of it, but it never really hurt.]

[siriusly]

Ehh-? [he grimaces.] You got flooded in here, too? You should've called! I could've come in with sandbags from the Roost! [because making sure the bf and bestie's place is safe and mold-free is more important than a bar. sorry Diluc it's true.

that said, he does a cursory sniff, trying to pick up that moldy smell he's been suffering all week.]

Is it still bad?

[truerevival]

It happened before--[Before they could really do anything outside of moving certain things out of the danger zone.] Flash flooding doesn't leave much time to call for help...Though we might want to prepare in case it comes through again.

[Because that was always a possibility, wasn't it?]

Mm? No, I don't think so. We moved things...I might have swallowed some water in the process, but I'm fine. [And that was something he normally would have kept to himself. Oh well.]

[siriusly]

[he breathes out a drawn-out, troubled sound as he looks around, then back at Kazuma.] I'll bring some, then. Sandbags. I learned the trick from a guy named Jason, and he-- [wait.

his eyebrows lift as the rest of Kazuma's remarks hit his ears YES he was thinking about other shit instead of fully listening WHAT OF IT]

Hang on, the water was that high?! Or did you trip and wind up on the floor because of it all? Jeez, Kazuma!

[truerevival]

[At first all he does is give a blank stare. The kind that said 'Did that really just come out of your mouth?'] You would assume I tripped and got a mouthful of water?

[The lack of any faith. Rude.]

I got swept up in a wave and went under. It was high enough to have some pull as it receded. And I told you: I'm fine; it's nothing to worry about now.

[siriusly]

Yeah, but... You still look like crap. What's that about? When's the last time you took a bath? [maybe he shouldn't be checking for mold-smell from the building - maybe it's Kazuma.]

[truerevival]

For the love of--I've bathed, Manabu. [Filters, sir. Please learn them.]

I've been trying to find answers about what we brought back here. And the things we couldn't salvage. I'll admit that I haven't seen much sleep because of it.

[siriusly]

[was that rude to say? Manabu barely noticed it slipping out of his mouth, and can't say he feels any shame after-the-fact. maybe Kazuma's just being touchy because he's hangry.

he blinks owlishly back at him.]

Mh... Okay. What about food, then? [he lifts the box a little.]

[truerevival]

[A peace offering. He could accept that. It wasn't as though he hadn't said and done some rather uncouth things in Manabu's presence himself, after all.]

That...I could kiss you for. [Was not at all what he intended to say. Something more along the lines of That would be greatly appreciated, or some other platitude maybe. He coughs awkwardly.] Thank you...for thinking to bring something.

[siriusly]

[Manabu's eye twitches as he stares unblinking, that remark buzzing through his mostly-empty head unfettered.

before he can get too fussed about it:] Yeah, well you already did that. [he pushes the box into Kazuma's hands.......and then brings his now-empty hands to his face, his hair fluffing up with a sudden paff, heat rushing to his head.]

[truerevival]

[Kazuma almost feels guilty about letting that slip. Almost, but not quite. He takes the box, watching Manabu's reaction fizzle on.] Already did once, yes...Doesn't necessarily eliminate the idea of doing it again.

[Not that it's the brightest idea, and would likely just cause this tangle of theirs to be a bit more complicated in the short term, but still.] Are you all right?

[siriusly]

[he replies with an affirmative noise that's muffled by the palms of his hands. at Kazuma's feet, Magnet grunts and whines, disconcerted by the weird energy going on here. why y'all acting like being blunt is weird?? just be like dog!!!

after clearing his own throat, Manabu lowers his hands.]

Yeah, fine. Just thinking about that again. [the kiss that haunts his dreams.]

[truerevival]

You...You are? [Why, exactly, does that surprise him? He had caused some chaos with that move, it really shouldn't be a shock that it's still thought about.

And maybe it's a little bit reckless to ask what he's about to, but recklessness had been his go-to action as of let. There was little reason to change that now.]

What are you thinking about it, exactly?

[siriusly]

[Manabu's body language is completely opposite to what's coming out of his mouth: he turns his blind eye toward Kazuma to avoid eye contact, hugs his arms to himself, folds them, unfolds them, shoves his hands in his pockets - anything for want of something to do with them all while his mouth just pours out words unfettered.]

About what it felt like. Or what I think it felt like. A, a lot of that is all mixed in with the bad stuff that went down, so I think I might just be imagining one way or the other. Trying to imagine it properly without all the rest. [the punch, the yelling, the anger, all that.

oh man standing in one spot is not cutting it; Manabu starts to pace around the room.]

I keep wanting to know if what I liked was real or what I imagined up to make myself feel better or worse about it.

[truerevival]

Manabu...[Kazuma watches him at first--letting him talk, pace, get this out. It's obvious that while he may have talked about it in the immediate aftermath, these are lingering thoughts he's held on to.

Has he said anything of this to Ryuunosuke? Somehow he doubts it, but he had never thought to pry after the dust settled.]

You don't have to try to imagine it. [This is stupid, he thinks, even as he moves to cross into Manabu's path as he takes another turn in the room. Stupid, reckless--and yet he's going to put it out there anyway.] If you want to know, all you need do is...do it again.

[siriusly]

[even while shaking his head no:] I know that! [he stops, turning and looking over at Kazuma with a conflicted expression. for once, the filter actually flows with words he'd want to say aloud anyway:] But...I don't want to hurt him.

[Ryunosuke.]

I'd never forgive myself for betraying his faith in me, no matter what my true feelings might be.

[truerevival]

Neither do I. [It is, quite honestly the only reason he hasn't just off and done something again.]

But...if you aren't honest about what feelings you have, it only hurts you both. Doesn't it?

[Whatever those feelings may be. He knows what bottling them up can lead to. Especially in a place like Trench where they don't always get the choice on whether or not they acted on what they felt.]

[siriusly]

[Manabu turns fully away, frowning at the wall. he needs to drop this topic immediately, but he can't make himself bodily shut up, and...it's not alarming him enough to try harder.]

I know that, too! I don't care about what happens to me, but if it hurts the people I care about the most...the ones I have left here...! I'm going to wind up...all alone here...and it's gonna be all my fault no matter what I do, you know!

[truerevival]

Manabu...Being honest with him isn't going to have him leaving you. [He knows that much, knows Ryunosuke well enough for that. Honesty was something he valued, needed.]

I'm saying this for your sake. Regardless of my own interests--it doesn't need to lead anywhere, but you should tell him what you are feeling. If you don't communicate that, it really will only hurt you both. And we may not want to see Ryunosuke hurt but...Neither he nor I want to see you hurt either.

[He should have kept his mouth shut, but this had to come out one way or another. Better it be like this than through something more visceral and hard to walk away from.]

You won't end up alone, not through any fault of yours...

[siriusly]

[Manabu's shoulders draw up as his head dips down.]

It...means a lot to hear that, but...you don't really know that for sure. The two of you could. Just...Vanish.

But you'd still have each other. I hate how jealous and lonely that makes me feel. Makes me...wonder if anything else I feel is good or bad at all. This place messing with me doesn't help matters. My mouth keeps moving and words keep coming out and all I can do is let it happen.

[truerevival]

...if we vanish it wouldn't be because of anything you did. And I can say with certainty that it wouldn't by choice on your part. We...we wouldn't willingly leave you behind.

[And that is the hardest part of that very real possibility. They may not choose to leave anyone behind but they don't have the luxury of being able to do anything to fix it.]

I'm sorry. That I can't do anything to help or...fix this.

[siriusly]

I know. I'm not expecting you to. I'm not really sure why I told you any of this at all, since...all it's gonna do is make you feel bad.

[he looks over his shoulder and gives Kazuma a pained, bewildered look.]

I just came to bring lunch and wound up talking about wanting to kiss you!

[truerevival]

Maybe you just...needed to get it out. [He doubts that's all there is to it. He's said a few choice things himself without intending to.] And I am your friend. I will always listen, even if it may leave me feeling low afterward.

[To his credit, he manages to bite his tongue for a whole minute. But the heavy air they're left it has to go one way or another, and so he teases:] Ah so you admit to wanting to kiss me in the end.