deercountry | Welcome to the Satellite of Love!

And Lexi loves her, too. She's so excited, she's nearly bursting with it, grinning at Luz with bright eyes and is she glowing? Well, not literally, but if she could glow, she would. And Luz deserved all of the good things.

"Yeah, but I never would've been able to get anything finished if it wasn't for you. At least not so quickly. And this is our place. Yours and mine."

At that, Lexi nuzzles Luz gently, holding her in case she does melt.

DEFINITELY BOTH.

"Oooh, that's great to hear. And let's see, not 'The Velveteen Rabbit,' not unless we want a sea of crying children. Isn't 'Goodnight Moon' about a kid's parent reading to them? Probably not that one, either, the younger kids here, a lot of them don't have their parents. Jeeez! I'm having a hard time thinking about kids' books which won't lead to crying!"

When Luz was excited she tended not to be able to hide it. Lexi was here, the store looked great, and Luz was buzzing with excitement about being in a place like this to work. She couldn't help but be on cloud nine!

"You just needed someone as hyped about the books as you are! You know, you would have had me here even if we weren't dating, giving the nature of what you were doing. But I think I like this way better."

And Lexi saying that just made Luz pull Lexi in for a kiss: it was a spunky, enthusiastic kiss that was slightly more bumpy than regular, but Luz did linger rather than pulling away quickly.

So melty!

"I mean, if those are bad, I guess my idea of reading Scary Stories to tell in the Dark is out? Fall IS starting, and October will be here before you know it."

For Luz, fall accompanied spooky month.

And Lexi had to take a moment to stand back and watch her girlfriend in action. She was amazing, friendly, funny, outgoing, and beautiful. Yes, she said beautiful and she means it.

At Luz's remarks, Lexi wrapped an arm around her waist and hugged her in close, leaning her head against Luz's. She wants this moment here to last forever. Forever would be incredible.

Lexi grins into the kiss and yeah, maybe it wasn't the most dignified kiss, but the moment calls for a kiss, so a kiss back Luz will get!

"That's a good one. The one with the original illustrations, the new ones suck. Oh, or we could save that one for Halloween and go with 'Where the Wild Things Are?' That...shouldn't lead to an ocean of crying children?"

It is a good thing that Luz can't read minds thanks to her Paleblood. Hearing something like that would have likely floored Luz on the spot!

The cuddle just made Luz chuckle and hold Lexi closer. This was what it felt to be content. Happy. Had it really been that long since Luz felt this at ease, this willing to actually think things had changed for the better?

Nope, sometimes Luz forwent dignity for something matching here energy, and this was one of those times!

"The new ones didn't even last that long, did you know that? Now THOSE are the actual rare ones to have since people demanded the old ones back! They were totally banned in places too, so you know that they're good!"

Luz may or may not have scared herself at night reading this by flashlight.

"I guess, Maurice Sendak still is pretty great!"

And he was similarly ALSO a banned book author, so that worked too!

What? Stuff about how incredible her girlfriend was? In Lexi's humble opinion, Luz was pretty fucking amazing and she can't remember the last time she was this happy.

They had. In a small way, at least. She loves making Luz smile, it was just like her name: light. Light as in bright and light as in heartwarming. So as far as Lexi was concerned, it was a perfect fit.

She had no idea what Lexi meant. Honestly, she thinks her mom picked her and Cassie's names from a Real Housewives or maybe The Bachelor. Her mom was crazy for reality TV, despite the many times Lexi told her that the drama was likely scripted.

Anyway! No dignity! Not allowed, at least for today! And preferably the days after that!

"Seriously? I guess I'm not surprised, those illustrations did suck, the originals are just so...visceral. And creepy."

Same. Despite the fact that hanging out with little Rue Bennett meant living through her stacks of slasher flicks DVDs.

"Yeah, it's like...a little build-up, then Bam! But no cheesy jump scares required."

Always a plus in Lexi's book.

Absolutely. Luz thought she was pretty lucky to have found someone like Lexi, the idea that she was desired just as much was still pretty shocking, but definitely welcome!

It was a name that Luz always hoped she could live up to. She'd be overjoyed to know someone she cared so much for would tell her exactly that!

It was still a good name, and one that Luz was happy to rattle off her tongue.

A perfect note for Luz, who tended not to hold dignity in such high regard!

"The illustrations would have been fine for any other book, but not when you compare it to Gammel's drawings! They're so creepy and kind of transformative, you NEED them to give you the horror the book is already working for!"

"Not his style, but he is still really good with illustrations and stories!"

Clearly someone was already a fan!

And Lexi never dreamed she'd find someone who desired her just as much. She'd been unlucky in love back home, but here? Her luck was beyond measure.

She will. She's just shy about big displays of emotion. They have to have an anniversary coming, right?

Luz made it sound both cute and fond. Two things she'd never really heard it as before.

Dignity was boring. Or at least it usually was. She was getting used to letting herself react and feel the way she wanted to, rather than the way others expected her to.

"Yeah, it was like the perfect marriage of images and text. It's hard to think of a better pairing, really. It was--adult book intensity, but for children and wow was it effective."

Obviously and it was beyond adorable.

Luz had gone a long time without having so much as a date, and while she'd mostly been fine with that, a part of her wondered what it would be like to have someone special to share her joys and pains with, someone she might even spoil if she had the option.

She didn't have to wonder that anymore!

Oh yes, they do, though likely Lexi would remember it over Luz, who sometimes saw days as being blurred. She would still happily do her best to honor it once it was established in her mind!

There was no way Luz could say her girlfriend's name without that wave of warmth and fondness that came with it!

"RIGHT?! I would scare the heck out of myself reading it at night, but it's kind of a thrilling scare too. The one you get where you hide under the covers, but still want to read about the next bunch of stories!"

Luz would always be a fan of making things weird, whichever story they came from!

Same with Lexi. The notion that anyone would be attracted to her, would want to date her for more than a single school dance was a revelation. She was afraid to question their good luck, trying to make sure it lasted as long as Trenchly possible.

No, no wondering. First-hand experiences for both of them.

Honestly, Lexi had the same problem here. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and it was like she'd already spent an entire year here even thought she knew she hadn't. Not even close. March, was it? When she washed up here?

And when Lexi says Luz's name, there's a kind of sparkling delight to it and a sense of wonder.

Luz's enthusiasm makes her giggle. "I know that fear, although I was kind of used to gore thanks to way too many slasher flicks. But have you ever read 'Helter Skelter?' It's a book about the Manson murders? So good, but such a bad idea to read it at night!"

She couldn't stop reading until she was done. Which was about 4am on a school day.

It wasn't luck! The lucky part was honestly the two of them finding each other! Once that happened, honestly, they just had to make room for other things to happen, which it did! Now they just had to weather whatever this place was going to throw at them.

Yeah, that was pretty much exactly what the both of them had to work with.

The days could really be a pain like that, especially if you were recovering from something that had taken you down in the precious few days. The come down time tended to be pretty rough.

Luz would have loved knowing she was able to bring that out of Lexi!

"Ooh, no, I haven't! I'll have to pick it up and give it a look through if you're recommending it though! Based on the Beatles song, right?"

Luz knew only so much!

Lexi had no doubt that they could. She had faith in them, more faith than she had in any Pthumerian (although her Dorothea apparently wasn't the worst of the worst). As long as they were honest and trusted each other, even after the fact, she knew they could withstand anything.

So, Owlbert ride with sparkles for an early/late anniversary? After dinner and dessert Lexi would cook herself? She's thinking of a sticky toffee apple crisp.

Yeah. She remembers when Rue was in rehab. Every day seemed to take forever to pass and when Rue got out of rehab? She didn't even bother to call. Which hurt, more than she was willing to admit at the time. But, Rue, her world. They're the past. Luz is her present and future.

She imagines it's not hard to hear? But she may be wrong.

"Well, the Manson family was. They thought it was some dumbass reference to a race war, that white people would blame Black people for what they did. For once, the cops did their due diligence and realized what was actually going on."

So did Lexi! But it was an awesome book, almost as good as 'In Cold Blood.'

Luz had that faith too, though she was also pretty aware they were probably going to be put to the test right after all of this. Things didn't start good and usually stay that way for too long. She'd have to make doubly sure that nothing happened to them that was too bad.

That sounded AMAZING and they absolutely needed to do this. Who could say no to anything with the words "sticky toffee" attached to it?!

Luz imagined she would be hurt by something like that too. She was lucky enough to have friends here and the Boiling Isles who reminded her that there were always better people to meet.

"That sounds like something crazy people with a purpose would put their stock in. I mean, I've HEARD Helter Skelter, where would you even get an idea like that? I guess it's always easy to pin the blame on something media 'told' them to do rather than admit you're a bunch of racist murderers."

For once being the sad key word.

Luz would have to track THAT book down too.

Yeah, that was an unfortunate truth. Something would happen, either Trench-related or not, and they'd hit a snag. But that was a concern for, well. When it happened. She didn't really want to borrow trouble by thinking about it too much.

Yes, a date night! And she had that recipe down, she didn't even need a cookbook for it and it was the perfect beginning of fall type dessert.

Lexi liked the people here much better than those from home. Not that there was a deficit in drama for either place, but at least the drama here was often a result of Trench shenanigans, not just teenagers being, well. Teenagers. Except for those times with it was a lethal combination of teenagers being teenagers with some Trench shenanigans sprinkled in for good measure.

"Insanity. Insanity and a lot of drugs. Besides, communes were pretty popular back then, supposedly my mom's mom lived in one for a while. And of course! Why should they be honest with themselves about what their motives are when they can blame The White Album and their own special brand of being assholes? Creeps."

Pretty much. Cops were pretty much useless most of the time.

It's so good! And scary as hell because it was all true.

That was probably for the best. The last thing Luz wanted to do was worry about what could happen when plenty of good moments were to be had!

All you had to do was mention something like this to Luz, Lexi, and she would be putty in your hands. The key to Luz's heart was very much connected to her stomach.

There were a lot of different people out there, and while not all of them were nice, Luz liked quite a lot of them and was willing to fight for quite a lot of them if they needed that from her.

"Insanity can be subjective, and drugs, from what I hear, can take you to places where you can go beyond your body. But if the person who's indulging in both of those is pretty awful, they'll take them exactly where they WANT to go. That's my theory, anyway. You get a lot of people together and have bad intentions, you can do a LOT of damage."

Oh Luz. Second season of your adventures would really have driven that home.

"And the White Album is interesting, if a bit self-indulgent and exploratory!"

Good moments like this one! Definitely this one, this was an incredible day. One made even better by being able to share it with Luz.

Well, she'd be happy to treat her amazing girlfriend to as much food as she wanted. Especially now that it was getting to be chili and soup weather. She was a big fan of things she could make and then eat on for several days afterwards and she'd be more than happy to share.

Lexi knew that fighting wasn't her thing, despite her karate lessons. But she was willing to do a lot emotionally for other people and she wanted them to like her. She wanted them to be friends with her because they wanted to be friends with her.

"Aaaand, that's pretty much what happened. A bunch of a people in a bad place being taken advantage of by a guy in an even worse place, leading to well. A bunch of really awful stuff. Seriously, it's terrifying what people can rationalize to themselves and each other."

And if she had any idea why Cassie was acting so strange, she'd see a kind of irony.

"Yeah, that's putting it mildly. It was an interesting experiment."

This was definitely one of those better days! Luz wouldn't have missed it for anything of course! She was already a bundle of energy, willing to do whatever Lexi asked right now.

And Luz would absolutely love her for that, among other things!

Luz would be enough of a fighter for both of them! She was absolutely willing to defend everyone that was dear to her, and that went triple for her own girlfriend. Even she understood, though, that strength came out in many ways besides fighting.

"We say it like it's some far off event too. The sad thing is, Trench is kind of a breeding ground for all of that kind of stuff. I've been hearing some pretty rough stuff."

Which was putting a supposed living god in far too casual a category, but Luz was sure she'd get there in due time.

"It was the sixties, and music was being explored in pretty interesting ways! But there are some kinds of music classic just as they are."

One of the best days and she was absolutely thrilled to share it with Luz. This was their project, their dream. They were in this together and she wouldn't have it any other way.

She made an awesome vegetarian version of Olive Garden's zupa Toscana. Not exactly fine dining, but very delicious and good with homemade bread. Which she had a machine for.

And Lexi would do her best to be the very best girlfriend to Luz she could possibly be. And if Lexi had to? She would fight. She would always fight to defend Luz and what they'd built together.

Lexi looked anxious. "Yeah. Something about. Another Trench? Whatever it is, I don't like the sound of it."

She knew it was only a matter of time. The worst thing that had happened to her was at the mouth of the catacombs, but she knew it could get worse. Far worse. And she'd been lucky. Odds were, that luck was about to run out.

"Yeah a lot can be explained as 'LOL sixties.' Personally? I like mom's music better. Tori Amos, Bjork, Bikini Kill, and of course, Nirvana and Pearl Jam," and Lexi looked a little confused. "She left all of that cool stuff behind and is way too into twerking to the thong song. If I ever do that, I want you to put me out of my misery."

Luz remembered when this was a thing that Lexi had talked about, that Luz couldn't wait to see the result of! And the more they talked, the more Luz began to see she wouldn't have minded helping Lexi see it through, and offer her help however she could.

And gradually, Luz realized it wasn't just Lexi's dream, but Lexi herself she wanted to impress, to see be enthralled and starting to become someone outside of the limitations her world gave her.

Luz could relate, but mor importantly, she could see that Lexi could do so much for herself if she had the chance to better herself. Luz wanted nothing more than for Lexi to have that peace of mind.

"Oh. Yeah. That. Happened. It was pretty rough."

Getting an idea that Luz wound up in these situations without even a moment's notice?

"The sixties helped realize in American society that we didn't have to kowtow to this idea that we were expendable and lived for nothing but the niches society gave people! All these progressive ideas started to form here, and the people that wanted to keep things like they were: racist, selective, entrenched."

She grinned. "That music was great! That other stuff, with thongs and twerking? I think its the reaction to a world that's really intense and full of bad things. So you do your best to find the things that make you feel good?"

That was Luz's theory anyway.

"Oh come on! There are some great songs that are just about dancing and a solid beat, and they can be amazing!"

It's all honestly amazing to Lexi. That they pulled this off, that they did it together and that people seem to like it. It's more than a little heady.

And she was fascinated by the details Luz gave about her own life, one in yet another world beyond imagining. And she was impressed by how Luz seemed to have taken her own death of all things, Lexi probably would've hidden under the covers for a month after something like that.

But she does feel it. Both at peace and at home. Both, largely to thank Luz for.

"I'm sorry. Everything I've heard about it is just...," she shakes her head, "really unpleasant."

"Yeah, I know. I just wonder how many of those former hippies, the ones who were trying to tear down and build back institutions and structures for power...how many turned around and voted for Trump? It's just really...not nice to think about. That when you grow older, you leave all of your principals behind. It's scary."

She sighs, not wanting to dwell on it any more than she has to.

"...Lady Gaga? Anything by her, including her collaborations with Tony Bennett?"

To Luz, pulling this off took a little magic, a little know how, and the drawing up and discarding of plans that would and would not work. In the end, this wound up being the result, and Luz was pretty happy at how things turned out!

Luz by her own nature had always been a girl seeking new experiences and had thought she'd never get the chance to have that really happen. Those days were long past, having lived in several different worlds and seen so many different people!

Death had, in Luz's opinion, been a long time coming. It had still hurt of course, but at least she was prepared to know it would happen eventually.

Like it had to many of her favorite people. She'd never hide from it, just take the time to recover.

A thought that would have made her girlfriend overjoyed, of course!

"It's not great. I won't lie about that. Avoid it as much as you can, and if things are dangerous, include me. I'll always have your back."

Luz said this as a friend, a girlfriend, and a Sleeper.

"Well, we don't know how many of them actually did. I wouldn't be surprised if it was the generation trying to bring things back to the 'good old days.' You can guess who it was actually good for."

Luz sighed, shrugging. "I don't think I could do that for me. There are too many people that I know are affected by how I vote. I can't forget people just because I'm scared it might make me uncomfortable."

Good idea.

"I don't think I ever looked at those, but I'm sure they were...ok?"

And Lexi was ecstatic. She couldn't believe that everything was working out. She almost never had what she was doing back home work out. It was a happy surprise.

Lexi had figured, college. That would be her time to shine, away from everyone's expectations of who she was and what she should be. Here was kind of like college taken up to eleven, despite the lack of classes.

Death was something Lexi was not looking forward to, but knew had to happen anyway. There were so many "hey, this could end in a grisly death!" circumstances on the regular to not know that sooner or later it would catch up with her. She just worried about how Luz would feel about it.

And with infinite tenderness, she says "I know you will. I trust you. More than I've ever trusted anyone."

Which was true. Cassie was so erratic, she couldn't be trusted. Jules was fooling herself into thinking things with Rue were fine, so her judgement seemed shaky. And her mom was her mom and Rue was Rue. Expecting them to change seemed like a lesson in futility.

"Ugh. Whenever I hear that phrase, my brain shuts off and all I want to do is yell about how the good old days were a manufactured feeling, brought about by ignorance of the world around them. All of the people they'd have shut up again, they've always existed. Playing like they didn't, it's stupid."

And Lexi blushes. "My...dad was really into that old timey music. You know, Bennett and Sinatra and Martin. So, when I heard that Lady Gaga did a whole album with Bennett, I kind of had to have it."

Luz would have agreed, but it had been so long since she was home: this was honestly what she knew as home. Luckily, she felt just as privileged as Lexi.

Since Luz had been younger than Lexi when brought here, she hadn't even thought that far. Now though, she was pretty happy to imagine that she was in a good place, with someone she cared a lot about.

It would tear her up of course. Luz was aware of what her emotions would do, and how she'd feel if something happened to Lexi. That was part of what made her realize how much she cared.

"Good. I'll do my best to make sure I'll take care of you."

She knew it was mutual, and wouldn't dare try to underscore Lexi, but also knew she'd make sure to keep her safe, whatever the cost.

Lexi would find, and Lzu would even remind her, that there was plenty of time to change here.

"I'm with you there. I can't forget about stuff like that, because as much as you'd like to think that all of those mistakes are in the past, there are still plenty of people who want to make them happen again. They're just waiting to get to a point where they can be honest about it."

And that happened in several different forms, as far as Luz was concerned.

Luz brightened. "Then I guess you have something new to expose to me, don't you?"

Priveleged to be somewhere where people valued them for who they were, not what they could do for someone else. And yeah, sometimes people had issues they needed help with, but that's what anon posts were for. Someone would always come up with the right thing to say.

And all Lexi wanted to do was to help Luz. In any way the other girl wanted. Be there for her whenever she was needed, give her space if that was what was required. She really did feel lucky, though. And like she'd given up on some of her older, less mature tendencies.

Honestly, she hoped she didn't go home.

"I know you will. And you can trust me with anything."

Because her parents stopped trusting each other after the rumors of infidelity swirled around them and it was all downhill from there.

There was. Lexi really did need to get a better grasp of her Darkblood abilities. It felt kinda dumb to have them but not know how to use them.

"Yeah...yeah. It's. Bad when I'm from. Because they are getting more honest about it and other than groups that most average people know nothing about, no one seems to be getting scared. Even though I am."

"Absolutely! They're good, all really good. And. There's a song I'd like you to hear. It's Sinatra and Count Basie, it's...well, before everything went to hell, we kind of all danced as a family to it. It's one of my happiest memories."

That was sure the truth. She was glad that here, just as in the isles, she was around people she trusted and cared a lot about. That was not to say she didn't miss her own mother terribly, but she still felt like this place was somewhere she could breathe.

Luz sure hoped that Lexi didn't go back anytime soon. She didn't think she could handle that. Despite everything, this had been one of the best few months she'd had in a while. Losing many of her cherished friends and family would have been so much worse if Lexi hadn't suddenly come in her life.

"I'll hold you to that. But be warned: this mama comes with lots of trauma!"

Luz tried to look like she was kidding BUT.

It would come! It'd just take some time.

"If we ever go back..." Luz trailed off, shaking her head. "No. Let's focus on here, NOW. There's plenty to think about without thinking of what's happening back home."

It was just a LOT, and Luz was trying to adjust to this world, which had its own set of issues.

"Oh, music! Gimmie!"

Luz laughed, then closed her listened to the music, tapping her foot to the beat.

"Wow, this is nice! Really relaxing, and kinda sweet!"

Well, that wasn't to say that Lexi didn't miss her own family as unreliable as her mom was and as erratic as Cassie was. But, she had to admit that her stress levels had gone down by a lot. A lot a lot.

And she wasn't quite sure what that meant about her, that going to a post-apocalyptic hellscape was less stressful than reassuring her sister that she was in fact the most beautiful girl in the world.

But whatever it meant, she hoped beyond anything that she didn't lose Luz. She'd be...inconsolable was probably a good word for it. Sure, that might be a little dramatic, but it was the truth. Or that if they did go, it was together, like those Fern and Varian guys.

Lexi smiled. "So do I. But they say talking about it helps? Granted, we don't have an actual psychiatrist here which sucks, but as long as we don't expect each other to be able to solve everything for each other, we should be fine."

Because she knew that no relationship could "fix" another person. Not that either of them necessarily needed fixing, but it was still a valuable thing to remember. .

"...yeah. Besides, maybe they're right. Maybe we are nothing but, you know, squids who look like people. And that we don't go home, we just go back to being squids. Which is kind of squicky to think about, but that doesn't mean we can refuse to pay attention to the idea."

She wondered if what was making Cassie act so weird had come to the surface yet. Cassie was just as internal as Lexi was, in her own weird way. She'd talk for hours about things that didn't matter, but when it came to things which did, she'd often clam up and insist that everything was fine.

And Lexi laughed happily. "Given!"

Yeah, it's...I've always had a soft spot for it, even before the dance. I'm glad I could share it with you."

Décor!

It is hard to try and make Luz romantic, then have to give her THIS icon because of that last part

LOOOOOOOOL ❤

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(CW: rehab, cops, the Manson family and its murders)

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(CW: drugs, mental illness)

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(CW: drugs, mental illness)

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(CW: infidelity--parents)

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