deercountry | (mostly open) oh this love would kill me

[ It's the sort of warmth that Ange never has known on a personal level. All the movies she's seen - mostly here in Trench - have updated her a little, given her the knowledge of it, sure. Families celebrating holidays together. Houses lit up with decorations and lights, with warmth and joy. The sort of feeling that was crushed straight underneath someone's feet when Ange's family all disappeared from her life within a single day.

But.. now it's here. This is it, Ange is sure of it. A house filled with decorations and warmth. People gathered because they care about one another.

.. because they care about her.

Ange wonders if it'll ever stop being an entirely overwhelming feeling, because it sure is still overwhelming in this moment. Especially with the biggest reminder - okay, discounting Ruby, but still - of it all standing right in front of her now. ]

.. It's.. strange. [ She slowly voices. Her tone is quiet, vulnerable, but that's not the sort of thing she has to sweep under the rug around Break of all people at this point. ] So strange.

[ The idea that this is really happening, rather than some theoretical idea in her head. The fact that it's happening to her. ]

It kind of feels.. like I maybe fell asleep, a long, long time ago. And that all of this is just a really long dream.

...because...your heart, and your body, still remember the life that came before. And so, to look around oneself and realize there is such distance between that old life and the new...even if it's been some time, it's difficult to remember how you got here at all, right...?

[As always, he talks her through it gently, this sensation he himself has experienced so many times even if he's never had to put it into words. This past year has been full of it, for him. And the fact that it's the second time he's had to deal with it so intensely doesn't make it any less disorienting.]

Because of that, over and over, you find yourself unexpectedly. "Ah, I am here." Whether it's -- something so mundane as tea at a café across from the boyfriend you didn't know existed a year previous, or...something so grand as gazing into the mirror and meeting the eyes of a grown-up young lady in a beautiful wedding dress. To be met with such a surprise, can it really be the truth of things...?

[ Ange smiles a little as he says it. Because she knows why he's saying it - or rather, why he's even capable of saying it in such a way. All of this has got to be incredibly familiar for Break himself as well, especially with the use of the word 'boyfriend' here. ]

Right. [ She softly agrees, showing that she very much knows it as well. ] It's exactly like that.

[ To have been convinced once before that something like this didn't exist. At least, not for you. A happy life, surrounded by people who care. Surrounded by small and mundane things that make you so happy. ]

.. maybe it's a good thing then that I stopped caring about the difference between truth and illusions ever since I left my world. [ Even though it had been such a fundamental part of her existence back there. Being stripped of her own world meant being stripped - though with a delay - of her own world's concerns. ] Right now.. the most important thing is that I'm happy, right..? Then it doesn't matter what this is.

[That's something terribly sad, actually, the notion that Ange can't even trust that what's happening is real. And it's not something he can blame her for. In his old life, illusions and magical manipulations all tended to lead back to the Abyss sooner or later, and whether through the Hatter or the unknown power of his own eye Break could always see through them. Here, he's as much prey to such things as anyone else, and has fallen for it a time or three. It really does leave you feeling burned and betrayed, and no matter who you are, you can only take so much of that.]

You're right.

[However, when you get right down to it, the fact of the matter is that today turning out to be an illusion is far from the only way that Ange could end up losing what she has. You never know. Sometimes your family heads to a conference without you and never returns. Sometimes the woman you love wastes away in front of your eyes. That, Break thinks, is what really doesn't matter. When the threat is loss, no matter how that loss comes about, it will hurt.]

I promised I wouldn't get up in front of everyone and make an embarrassing speech today, so...I'll just be a sentimental old man at you here, where no one else can see. The important thing is -- we can't ever know what will happen. We all hope that these days of warmth and laughter will last forever. But if they don't, then...it's the memories of days like today, no matter what they really are, that will give you the light you need to make it through when the nights are long.

[He releases one of her hands so that he can tuck a stray bit of hair behind her ear.]

Don't be nervous, Miss Ange. When we get downstairs, just keep your eyes on Miss Ruby, and remember why it is you're walking to her. There is no power that could turn that into anything less than a "truth".

[This advice is going to be really funny later when they emerge and spot Ruby doing push-ups at the altar, and Ange gets to hear Break attempt to turn a laugh into a cough and mutter "Is she rea -- good grief."]

[ Even though this is exactly the sort of thing that might make Ange squirm under different circumstances, she finds herself handling it relatively well right now - despite her nerves. Or maybe it's exactly because of said nerves, and the way Break always manages to soothe them. Them being so present and overwhelming right now means that she doesn't feel any embarrassment at him being sappy.

It just feels nice. And comforting. Maybe she's getting desensitized to the embarrassing parts of it. At least when it's with Break of all people, and when it's just the two of them, just like how she's capable of acting all sappy with Ruby as long as there's no other people around at this point.

She manages to meet the man's gaze before her own gaze drops, a hint of something flustered in her expression, but nothing too big. It sure can't beat the smile that's on her face, anyway. ]

Sheesh.. What would I have done today if you weren't here with me?

[ Freak out more, probably. Because hearing this stuff - it's exactly what she needs before heading out there. ]

It's like you always know what to say to make things easier.

[ Even though his message may not all be positive. After all, he's still acknowledging pain exists, and that it will continue to exist. And yet it doesn't hit Ange as anything pessimistic or hurtful at all, instead just managing to see the glow of some happier and optimistic feelings around it. ]

This is the advantage to keeping an old man around. I've learned all this gross stuff the hard way. Now, when I tell it to you in turn, I get to sound wise and you get the easy way out.

[He's back to his joking, but as always, it's just the frosting atop the cake of truth, if you will -- Break's ability to tell her these things stems from everything they have in common, from the ways they interact with the world to the pains they've experienced at its behest, and Break is simply the one who's had twice as long as she has to find himself on the other side of it all. To him, there's actually very little more satisfying than the notion that he can pave the way for the kids to come through after him, and do better.

That's what his last great stand wound up being, after all. It wasn't the fight with Glen Baskerville. It was getting Oz and the others exactly where they needed to be --]

[There is a sudden bout of gleeful, manic barking from downstairs. Break lifts his head, alert, and blinks a few times as he sorts out what is going on.

Then:]

...Baltus is keeping Miss Ruby awake for you.

[It's great, this omen thing. Break can be helpful in two places at once, now.]

[ It truly wouldn't be Ange and Ruby's wedding unless there was some form of chaos going on, huh. Even before the wedding itself begins.

Though the girl does seem to tense up for a moment at the sound, especially without context. Sure, it could be one of the many dog-Omens around, or perhaps even Zwei having a particular case of the zoomies, but you never know when it isn't something a little more nefarious in Trench--

The tension immediately seeps out of Ange's shoulders though when Break confirms that it's just Baltus. ]

I think keeping her awake when we go out there in a little while is more important than keeping her awake right now, you know.

[ Little do they know about Ruby's pushups plan... ]

Would he truly be my omen if he didn't seize every opportunity to mess with people?

[Baltus gets away with this more than Break does, because it is cuter when a dog does it.]

Don't suggest such. He may decide to sing a lovely song for you to walk to, when the time comes.

[This sounds like it might also be cute, but is truly a threat. Being shaped like a borzoi whether he really is one or not, Baltus's "singing voice" can best be described as a "warbling yodel". No one wants this but Baltus.]

Edited 2022-10-28 16:44 (UTC)

Surely even Baltus wouldn't dream of ruining my wedding.

[ Has Ange ever heard that dog yodel? Who knows. It's very likely that even if she hasn't, she can kind of imagine the sort of sound he'd make if he would start singing..

And it's not exactly wedding-appropriate. Sorry, Baltus. ]

He would lose out on so many scritches for the rest of his life. He'd never find someone who treats him as kindly as I do ever again. [ Okay, maybe that's a little bit of an exaggeration, Ange.

No matter how much biased treatment you give to that not-quite-dog at all times. ]

I don't know, he may not be able to help himself today. He's in such a fine mood he's been having to excuse himself to go spin about in circles all afternoon.

[This is true, and if it's a reflection of Break's own pleasure in this day, there is no need to mention it. Just as there's no need to point out that even as the conversation drifts away from the serious things Ange is having a normal, understandable bout of nerves about, Break is still standing here holding her hands. He is confident that once they get out into the room where the ceremony is to be held, the nerves will all but vanish, as this has been Break's own experience with many things -- working himself up into a tizzy about this or that only to find himself experiencing perfectly clarity when things finally unfold in front of him. But, by that same measure, he is also aware that he never actually remembers that this is the case when he's in said tizzy, and being reminded of that doesn't actually help much.

Break considers it his solemn duty, therefore, to be Ange's silly distraction here in her time of need.]

If he truly can't contain himself, perhaps during the reception we can sneak out to the beach to let him really run. This is the great thing about those lanterns, right? And if anyone dares to question after why the bride has sand on her hemline you can tell them they're being uncouth. One simply doesn't question brides on their wedding days, you know?

Edited 2022-10-30 19:09 (UTC)

.. you know, you're the second person to suggest I sneak off at some point.

[ At least she says it with a bit of amusement in her tone. A bit of embarrassed amusement, mostly caused by the stress that still lies somewhere her words. She ducks her head for a moment, but then actually glances back up at Break's face.

(She's not going to lie, it does sound a little tempting. Even when she doesn't know how many of these nerves will be left after the ceremony itself, it might be nice to be away from everything for a little bit, just spending a moment with only Break and Baltus.) ]

Do I look that much like I want to run away?

["No, you look like running away would take too long and you'd rather sink into a big hole in the floor," Break thinks and does not say, because despite appearances he is in fact capable of realizing when the truth is unkind or uncalled for and keeping his mouth shut to avoid his frequent fate of getting whacked on the head by a Rainsworth fan.

He'll bother, on Ange's special day.]

To want to flee from a large gathering is just a "Miss Ange" sort of feeling, isn't it? Anyway, part of the fun of a party like this is sneaking in and out of it. Keeps one's stamina up.

[ It is the sort of feeling that suits her.

Ange is aware enough of that fact that she doesn't really protest what Break is saying here. But whereas she'd usually be happy to flee any sort of social gathering, easily latching onto the quickest excuse she can find, it feels a little bit more rough to do so when it's technically her social gathering.

It's the same thing she told Michael, but he had told her that the bride is definitely allowed to sneak out. Ange doesn't doubt that Break would absolutely echo that sentiment.

Either because he believes it himself, or just because he can't help but spoil Ange. ]

Let's do it then. Later.

[ When the ceremony is over, and when people are mingling enough to not notice her being gone for a little bit.

Even though being out on the beach in this outfit is going to be a pain, but the relief of being away from everything for a few moments will surely outdo that, Ange figures. ]

.. do you think Ruby won't notice? I know she won't mind. [ Because it's how Ruby is. It's why Ange is marrying her. That girl understands so many things about her without Ange even having to try and explain. ] But it still feels a little.. you know.

[ Hear: I'm going to feel a little guilty anyway, because I'm dumb and way nicer than I pretend to be on a daily basis.

The sort of thing Break does know about her, hence Ange's little 'you know' there. Break does know. ]

[This is something much deeper on Break's side, too, and for a long moment, his smile becomes decidedly far away. Something fond, but...helplessly wistful, in a way, something he can't help but close his eye to. The expression is accompanied by a brief movement at his left hand as he shifts to run his thumb over the tattoo that wraps around a certain important finger, just as though he were fidgeting with a real ring.

Break has developed an anti-corruption tattoo habit over the past year and while he makes no effort to hide them, he also doesn't bother explaining a single one of them unless asked directly. This one he elaborates on least of all, simply calling it "a reminder of someone very important." It's entirely possible that those who don't pay much attention assume that it's for Qrow -- the flowers are sort of rose-like and pink is a reddish color, so surely it isn't worth a second glance and Break's just got it really bad for this guy. But the truth, of course, is that Qrow is not Break's first any more than he himself is Qrow's, and in fact that certain important someone is the one who started the long process of opening him up so that he could become everything he is to those he's met in Trench.

This smile is for memories like the way Shelly Rainsworth would laugh with delight when he was so bold as to sneak into her bedroom through the window to avoid the other servants, and how she inevitably noticed when he disappeared for entire days and would answer by lingering long at the tea table with a single macaron left on the tray, waiting for him.]

...I think that -- those who truly understand how to love people like us realize...to be thought of as a home we can come back to when the sneaking is done is, perhaps, the greatest honor we're able to give.

[ There is an instinct that flutters up within Ange, almost escaping, only to be stopped at the last moment. A part of her wants to say that she knows it, that it's why she said she knows Ruby won't mind, because there might be a part of her that feels a little miffed or worried that she seems like she doesn't even know this much about a girl she is literally right about to marry.

But it's everything about Break that stops her before words can leave the girl's throat. The way he's quiet for a moment, like he's obviously thinking about something more behind the words he's telling her here. The way he's rubbing that tattoo - something Break never offered to talk about, and so Ange never bothered to ask.

She wonders who he's thinking about. For a moment the girl stares, as if that might somehow bring the answer to that question to her, but of course it doesn't. All she can tell is that Break must be thinking about someone he's very fond of, and that that is why he's saying it like this - despite Ange already very well understanding the sentiment herself.

It's that fact that leaves her quiet in turn for a moment, glancing briefly back at the mirror she had been staring in earlier, fussing over every small part of her appearance for such an important day, and then slowly speaking up again. ]

.. I think Ruby would probably put it in a slightly less poignant way. [ Perhaps she's trying to lighten the air a little bit, by turning this corner into the conversation, rather than something deeper. ] Maybe something more like 'sure, Ange, have fun!'

Well, there you have it, then. That sounds like enough of a blessing to me.

[Trench being Trench, there's no doubt Ange will find out more about Lady Shelly someday. After all, she's the one who had the biggest hand in making him the person that he is. For now, though, she can remain a bit of a mystery. Break is the sort of person you simply can't learn everything about in only a year, after all.]

Don't worry, don't worry. Baltus and I shall keep watch over you, and if things start looking thorny, we'll kidnap you right away. If it pleases you, we can even think of a secret signal for you to use, like in a movie with undercover agents and things.

Oh, I'm sure you'd love to be a very dramatic undercover agent.

[ You know-- even if that defeats the actual point of undercover agents. Ange is very well aware that Break could go truly undercover pretty well if he tried. If he was serious about it.

But she can also totally imagine him having way too much fun being very dramatic about it. The most exaggerated undercover agent of all time. Break seems to enjoy little frivilous breaks like that, after all. ]

...

[ Ange pauses, staring at the door. Seeming to realise something. ]

I guess it's about time to go out there though, huh..?

[ She can't delay it much longer, or she'll be late to her own wedding - which even Ange, the ultimate introvert who would rather hide here forever than go out and face all those people - can't excuse. ]

Fie, I'm retired.

[Break is guilty as charged, and proceeds to take a pocket watch out of his vest and make a show of glancing at it, despite the fact that this wedding is taking place in Ozpin's house and there are wall clocks everywhere.]

Mm, I suppose it is time, isn't it? [Snap shut goes the pocket watch.] Ehhhh, now that the time has come, I feel a little sad, you know? In just a little while, I won't have a special task to look forward to anymore, unless you come up with another for me.

[But he's smiling all the same. Ange will be hearing a great deal today that it's her day, her special time and Ruby's above everyone else's. That's true and Break agrees, obviously. But it's a special day for all the people who love the girls also, and a memory Break has been well aware he's going to treasure long after.

He shifts to offer his arm, and help Ange stand up in her dress.]

[ Ange stands up - not quite as easily as she otherwise would, given the dress that suddenly feels like it's way too big and way too everywhere right in this moment specifically. She knows it's just the nerves speaking though, and Ange does manage to get up and grab his arm without tripping over either the dress or her own feet.

Even if her grip on him is a little tight. The way a cat might hold onto a human to avoid being lowered into a bath, just with less claws out.

And yet, despite all the clear outward signs of nerves, Ange still manages to tell Break: ]

I'll try to think of something new for you.

[ Like Break is a zoo animal who needs his enrichment..

The girl sucks in a breath. ] Okay, okay, hold on, last check-- you're contractually obligated to tell me if there's a single thing that looks weird on me right now, okay? Before I go out there and everyone sees it.

[Just your face, Break thinks and does not say, because then she'd end up getting blood on her dress.

No, instead of being a shitty, teasing elder-brother-fatherly-uncle-whatever-he-is, Break looks her up and down, his keen eye spotting all the little details that matter in this sort of situation. The clasp of a necklace's chain wandering down towards its pendant instead of remaining properly at the back of the neck, or an errant loop of hair that's pulled a little tighter than the matching one on the other side. These kinds of things he fixes with deft fingers, trying not to think of the way he'd twirled carelessly out of this role for the last party he'd prepared for as though he'd merely gotten sidetracked, because he hadn't yet been brave enough to tell Sharon his eyesight was as good as gone.]

...what I see with this tired old eye of mine is -- a strong young woman, who is looking just a little more grown-up each and every day...one who has chosen to step forward into a future she's writing for her own self, in spite of everything that would hold her back. [One last adjustment of a bobby pin and Break -- well, he boops her nose, is what he does.] There. You look lovely, and now you can unload all your embarrassment onto me until we get to the ceremony. On a day like today, once you've got Miss Ruby in front of you, you'll not think to look at anyone else.

[ The girl just allows him to make all of these little adjustments. Partially since they will make her look - and, she hopes, feel - less awkward while going out there, but also just because it's one of those tiny privileges Break has that most other people don't. She'd bat their hands away before they could even try.

But here? Ange is standing so still, just allowing him to have at it, even though the words he says as he's finishing up the last bits make the tips of her ears glow with a blush, especially when it's followed up by that nose boop. ]

If I got any embarrassment right now, it's just because of you. [ G-Grumble, grumble.. But it's a mumbled protest more than anything, and Ange is still holding on to his arm as they start to move in the direction of the stairs, so they can move down to where everyone else is waiting. ] How could you tell a girl such things right before her own wedding..

[ Please, Ange, you're talking like he personally insulted you or something. Rather than just committing the crime of complimenting you. ]

When else am I ever going to get away with it?

[It's because Break is someone who can make just about anything sound like teasing, honestly. But his arm, when he offers it, is strong and sturdy, and the man behind it possesses years of experience in regards to guiding fine ladies around on it. He matches her pace effortlessly, his free hand covering her own in a doting and affectionate gesture that will hide any white knuckles from view, and their trip goes so smoothly and without upset that Ange may well not even remember most of it later.

Why would she, once they arrive to find Ruby doing pushups at the altar? That's the important bit, after all -- the person Break is delivering her to. But once the ceremony is done and the assembled party settles in for the day's festivities, Break subtly lingers, and Ange will frequently find a certain omen's head draped lovingly over her knee or flashes of violet amidst the throng of red and gold.

And when Ozpin makes his little speech, Break is there behind her suddenly, hand resting on the back of Ange's chair and wearing the pleasant expression of a man waiting patiently to be told to go Handle It if it suits her. Underneath all the glitter of the day, they are all utterly themselves.]

(mostly open) oh this love would kill me

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I think we can wrap here!

yes, it's a perfect wrapping point! thank you for the thread c: