deercountry | (mostly open) oh this love would kill me

Entry tags:

(mostly open) oh this love would kill me

Who: Ange, Ruby, and you!
What: Ruby and Ange's wedding, and all their CR is invited!
When: Late October
Where: The rebuilt Clockhouse

Content Warnings: Semi-irresponsible weapon usage.

Sometime around the beginning of October invitations would have started to be sent out to the various people in Trench Ange and Ruby know - announcing the two girls' wedding at the end of the month.

When the day itself comes, people will find the location - the newly rebuilt Clockhouse, which some of the invitees may have helped rebuild in the first place - tastefully decorated. Some of the house's stranger features have been covered up by decorations in red and gold, mostly taking on the shapes of roses and butterflies all over the place.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ See - Ange had already noticed that Kainé was at the party as well, but just judging by the relatively brief impression she had gotten from the other, Ange figured that she'd be joining in more on the Ruby side of the festivities than her own.

After all, axe throwing sure seemed up her ally.

And while Ange was right in that assumption, it seems that she can still be surprised. Like right now, when Kainé escapes all of that to instead sit down here for a moment. She's still a little too serene in the afterglow of the ceremony to really look surprised though. Instead that small smile still plays around Ange's lips as she raises her teacups to her lips to take a sip, swallowing the tea before speaking up again. ]

You mean weddings in general or just this one?

[ Because Ange feels like it's the former, but she can't help but poke fun a little at her and Ruby's.. rather unique sense of wedding afterparties by adding the second part all the same. ]

[ Axe-throwing and bloodshed and screaming fury might be major components of Kainé's personality, but so too is her desire for solitude and quiet. She's closer to Ruby, to be sure, to somebody that she can talk about weapons and hunting with, but Ange is too important to Anna for her to consider Ange as an afterthought.

She shrugs, nonchalant. ]

In general, I guess.

[ Pledging your life to somebody. Letting everybody know that that person will be connected to you. It's a lot, especially for people who have spent years being alone and hating themself. ]

Shit, this one ain't half bad. [ She chuckles, looking around at all the bizarre activities going on in the reception. No point in celebrating each other if you're going to make it boring. ] Worth coming for the grub.

[ Ange huffs.

Nothing angry, though. If anything, she just sounds amused. ]

I'm glad the food is worth it. [ The joke, of course, being that apparently the food is being rated on a higher scale here than Ruby or Ange's company, despite it being their wedding..

Though, considering Ange is the master of underplaying things, she feels like the food is probably an easier reason to mention for some people. She gets it. ]

But.. yeah. Weddings sure are a lot. I guess it doesn't help that I don't have much experience with them. [ Not back in her own world - and even in Deerington and Trench she had only been able to attend one or two of them. ] So we decided to just screw it and do all of this in our own style.

[ Conventions be damned. It's not like Ange and Ruby really are sticklers for any rules in the first place. ]

[ Kainé snorts, able to appreciate a fellow practitioner of dry sarcasm. She doesn't think that she'll ever be the gregarious type, no matter how much the past year has changed her. It's good that some people know what she's about between her sarcasm and her brutal frankness.

She wonders how hard it must have been, preparing something like this, given her personality. Hell, even Ruby has her more introverted moments, doesn't she? ]

Best way to do anything. Do what works.

[ For just a moment she wonders, what the hell she's supposed to do when— but no. She shoves that thought away. It's too impossible, and it wouldn't make much difference. ]

So many assholes just want everybody to fit into their boxes. It never works.

...

[ Ange takes in that remark quietly, at first. It's a little personal, after all. Technically it's the kind of statement that could apply to most people's lives, but she can't help but wonder if it is something more personal from Kainé that she's offering up right now.

She isn't sure how much to dig into it though, given the other's abrasive nature.

.. on the other hand, even abrasive people want to be understood, right? ]

Have you dealt with that a lot?

[ She keeps her voice a little on the nonchalant side as she asks, so Kainé doesn't have to give it much weight unless she wants to do so. Ange sure as hell isn't going to be pushy about this. ]

[ It's not a story Kainé intends on telling here and now. Not all of it, anyway. But Ange is right. It´s a lot more personal than just some trite platitude. Maybe it's just something that she recognizes in Ange, that she knows the girl will understand what she means, even she doesn't know the reasons why. ]

Little bit. You?

[ It's offered, casual and quizzical. She's not asking for specifics. She just thinks they both have reasons for going their own ways. ]

Hmm.

[ It's an affirmative hum. It's nothing Ange has really experienced much outside of her world, other than a few bad encounters with people both in Deerington and now in Trench - and mostly in the former, really.

But back home-- she does suppose a lot of people expected her to be someone she wasn't.

Even if Ange isn't even sure what anyone at all expected her to be, other than just.. not her. Not Ange. Never being good enough. ]

Usually I'd say "I'm pretty sure everyone has", but I know there are tons of people who make all sorts of effort to fit into those boxes all the same, just to be able to get along with those people. [ She pauses, tilts her head as if she's thinking about it, and then adds: ] It just sounds like a waste of time to me.

[ Sure, Ange was miserable in the way she lived back home.

But she's pretty sure she would have been just as miserable if she had somehow tried to please everyone. So what does it matter? ]

[ It wasn't so much that Kainé was forced into any boxes— she was simply unwelcome because she didn't fit into them to begin with. She was always looking on from the outside at that world. Kainé wasn't just not good enough— she was hardly a person to many people. If there was anything nice in Trench, it was that a place could be found for those who hadn't had one to begin with. ]

Don't read too much into it. It's pretty cool you got to do this your way.

[ Not like she wants to tip her hand too much. As though it isn't already obvious.

She never had the option of pleasing everybody. But even now she wants to live for others. Not "society." Just the people she loves. ]

[ Yeah, it's pretty obvious to Ange. The way the other is clearly trying to say something here, but at the same time downplay it. It's the sort of tactic Ange uses as well, so of course she recognizes it when it's being thrown back her way like this.

Which is why she just shrugs. Ange is too chill right now at her wedding afterparty to really think too deeply about it. If Kainé really wanted her to know something, surely she'd be at least a little more explicit about it. ]

I don't think anyone here really cares.

[ She can say that much though. Just because it's true. Ange didn't feel any pressure to do this wedding party in any specific way when Trench is.. well, Trench. ]

I mean, we're all squid people now. Having a wedding party that's a little out of the norm would be the least of my concerns at this point. [ Especially since pretty much all the people at the party here are people she knows.

People who already know what Ange is like. And what Ruby is like. This party is the inevitable outcome of their mixed personalities. ]

[ Kainé takes a sip of tea. They've all come a long way. They all have to make up their own rules now. That's just how it is. It's good that these two made something that is so good to them, and the people around them. ]

Hell, I've barely understood anything since I've gotten here. I'm just going on the seat of my pants.

[ Kainé has to make her own norms, her own way too. It's getting easier, but its uncertain at the best of times. ]

...I'm happy for you.

[ .. oh.

That is definitely a little unexpected coming from Kainé. Thankfully Ange manages to not do something as dumb as have a spittake with her tea or something, but the words do make her quiet for a moment. A little awkward, unsure how to respond - but glad as well. For everyone who came here, who told her kind things. Even people she may not be super close to - yet? - like Kainé. ]

Thanks.

[ It's a brief thanks, but the way her tone dips in volume, becoming a little softer.. that says more than the word itself does. It means a lot to Ange, just hearing that. ]

I'm glad for you and Anna too. [ It's not something she usually would have ventured to say, but.. under the current circumstances, and considering what Kainé just said?

It only feels fair to be open about this in return. ]

I get why everything happened the way that it did, but.. she seemed to really miss you.

[ Maybe Kainé already knows, or already figured.

But she deserves to know, anyway. ]

[ Now it's Kainé's turn to be stunned into silence. There are so many people who love Anna, and sometimes it makes her jealous, even if increasingly, her own circle of warmth has expanded as well.

And that means a significant portion of Trench knows about Anna's transformation, their breakup, their getting back together. It feels strange. Uncomfortable sometimes, thinking about it, but it doesn't seem as though anybody had judged her harshly.

She can see how deeply Ange loves her. No wonder Anna sees her as a lost sister. ]

Yeah. I… I know.

[ She won't apologize for it. But sometimes she does feel, foolish though it is, guilty. As though it was somehow her fault as well. She's relieved too of course. That they were able to be together again after all. She usually doesn't get the chance for things to get better in her life. ]

...love is some crazy shit, huh?

Edited 2022-11-11 02:19 (UTC)

That's one way to put it.

[ Ange sounds almost a little amused as she says it, but.. more than anything, she just sounds like she gets it. Why Kainé is putting it that way, and also - how it kind of mirrors the way Ange herself feels about it. ]

It sure makes you do some crazy stuff, anyway. [ Like getting back together with someone, even after something that happened between the two of you that really hurt you.

.. like throwing a wedding. ]

I never even considered for a moment that love was in the cards for me while I was living my life back home, and look at me now.

[ She gives an ironic, self-deriding laugh. Crazy is right. Everything she ever did was for love, of some kind, but she knew that she could never truly keep it for herself.

Had that even been a false belief when she'd been half-shade? Maybe it was. Even if her time around them would have had to be limited, if she could have been more honest... ]

I thought it'd just be better if I just stayed away. I was no good for it.

[ It doesn't matter now, right? She has Anna. ]

Now I'm doing all kinds of shit I thought I never would.

[ Ange is a little tempted to make a remark here 'like dirty bathroom makeouts', like revenge at Anna for the latter making Ange suffer having to imagine the concept of those..

.. but then again, she doesn't really want to talk about that more. Keeping that to herself is just Ange protecting herself from having to imagine Anna and Kainé making out in some dirty bathroom.

Gross. ]

Guess it must mean people like Anna and Ruby have some sort of dumb special power. [ Like himbo sirens, luring in unexpected people who crush on himbos.. ] I mean, I can't imagine how else they managed to convince us to give all this a shot.

[ Kainé absolutely would not make out with Anna in a bathroom. Probably, not, anyway. They get pretty damn raunchy, but it's all in private. ]

I dunno how she put up with it. I was a real ass the first couple times we met.

[ But Kainé knows that she hungered to be loved for a long time, since before she even knew what love really was. The mystery isn't that she fell in love, but that she put her heart in the hands of another, and got over her self-loathing for long enough to let it take root without running away.

That when she did run away, she came back. ]

She's really good at seeing through people. [ Anna, Ange means, of course.

After all, Anna also befriended her, got close enough for Ange to call her a sister - something that rarely happens, if at all. Even though Ange has gotten a little bit better about it in Trench, there's still no doubt about the fact that her heart is very much closed off, weary about letting people in.

And Kainé being a real ass - well, Ange doesn't really doubt that either. The other seems to be even more blunt than Ange herself is, and that's saying something. ]

Maybe she was on to you from the start.

[ Maybe she saw that there was more underneath it that easily. ]

She was.

[ Her lips quirk in the smallest of smiles, thinking of how she saw her loneliness, her self-hatred, and how she invited her into her home. How Anna first found her wandering the halls of that illusory hotel, calling out for a woman long dead, and extended her hand in kindness. She knows now that Anna needed her just as much. She clung to her in a way that was utterly unfamiliar to her experience. They'd picked up a lot of nasty habits in those first few months, but to know that she was needed, and that this time she didn't have to leave... it made her so happy. It still does.

Love makes you do funny things. Like going to another wedding, and throwing axes. Nothing bad has even happened at this one. ]

You must have met her not long after everybody first came here, right?

Edited 2022-12-02 07:39 (UTC)

[ Ange nods. ]

At Ruby's birthday party. [ Because of course Ange wouldn't attend most social events where she could actually meet people.. but it would have been hard to not attend her own girlfriend's birthday party. Especially not one she herself organised in the first place. ]

I remember her standing out because so many people came here straight from the dream when we first showed up.

[ Especially during the first month or two. After that -- things had slowly been changing, and now there are actually so few people at this wedding that Ange already knew back in the dream. ]

And she hadn't. I guess Ruby must have befriended her super quickly. [ That wouldn't be a surprise, given Ruby's nature. ] Or either her or Oscar got a little overly eager in inviting her. She showed up for the party anyway though.

[ Ange doesn't have to say any more. The obvious implication. The ones from the dream gradually leaving. It's better not to dwell too long on that.

She smiles, small and fond. ]

I'm jealous of her sometimes. She's so good at things I wish I could've been. Not that I usually give a shit about parties but...

Hell, she changed me a lot.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

(mostly open) oh this love would kill me

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject