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Who: Nara'a and Chizuru
What: Nara'a's been missing for a few days, sleeping in his canon update cocoon. Chizuru stumbles on him as he wakes.
When: Mid-October.
Where: The beach.

Content Warnings: Final Fantasy XIV Patch 6.2 spoilers, dissociation/derealization, other CWs to be added as needed.

He'd gone for a walk along the beach at night - nothing complicated, just a simple walk - and sat down. He'd closed his eyes and before he knew it he was lying down in the sand, listening to the waves. Listening to the...

The membrane covered him without him noticing, and he'd fallen into a deep sleep. And there he stayed... for five days.

On the morning of the sixth day he wakes up, suddenly realizing that he's covered in... something. He groans and starts pulling the grey mucus off of himself, starting with his face. It sticks to his glasses and he huffs, trying to clean them off. If he can just -

- it hits him in a flash. Zero, the Void, the visions and the Fiends... he tries to stand up but slips on the remnants of the membrane, sending him crashing to the ground again. At least he lands on his butt in the sand, rather than anything else.

"... Gods damn it."

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It's a good thing that Chizuru regularly comes out to the beach - just to make sure that no one from her world turned up. It's something that hasn't happened for months and months already, sure, but she still keeps a faint hope alive in her heart, alongside the worry of maybe this time someone showing up and her not being there for them.

Of course it's not a new squid she finds. The time most new people show up has already passed, after all. No, instead there's a sight on the beach that seems.. more strange from a distance. Something grey, and gooey. At first she wonders if it's maybe something that washed up from the sea, but then Chizuru realises there's a person in it.

.. and then she realises she knows that person. Someone she hasn't seen in a few days now.

Chizuru gasps, and then rushes over to the gooey substance as quickly as her legs can carry her.

"Hey..!" She calls out, hoping to catch the collapsed form's attention. Is Nara'a alright? Did he get hurt..? "A-Are you okay?!"

He looks up at her, his eyes a few shades lighter than they normally are. His skin is pale, closer in color to the shells on the beach than his normal light coloring. His hair is a mess - there's still goo stuck in it and plenty of goo still stuck to his clothing. At least it seems to be drying, but he still looks gross.

"Chizuru?" His voice is a bit rough as he speaks up, and he coughs into his sleeve to try to clear his throat. Chiziru... he's back in Trench, of course. Why wouldn't he be? "I... I crossed over into the Void and back and..." He stops, knowing he's likely not making any sense to her.

"Have people fallen asleep like this before and... gone back home? Or thought they did?"

That cough is definitely a little worrisome to her. Maybe it's mostly since she can't tell if he's just having a hard time talking or if the cough is the sign of something more serious.. or maybe it's just because she's fussing over the other right now. It's not every day that you find a friend like this out on the beach.

By the time she's next to him, she sinks to her knees into the sand, apparently not even worrying about dirtying her clothes with the sand and the goo.

"Um.. I think I've vaguely heard of it.." Chizuru replies - though perhaps sounding a little absent-minded on that. It's hard to focus and try to remember things when you're busy worrying about a friend, and her hand reaches out to try and brush some of the goo out of Nara'a's hair, careful to avoid his ears. ".. Are you saying that's what happened to you? You-- You went home? Or you think you did..?"

And then he somehow ended up back here, covered in this stuff?

He leans into her touch, his skin cold under her fingers - but that's more or less normal thanks to him being a coldblood. His hair does have a few lighter streaks in it, and it feels finer than it looks, as if it were more like fur than hair. He closes his eyes and nods slightly.

"We... when I first showed up in Trench, we were looking for a way of crossing over to a world called the Void. And now... I know that we've done it. We went there and met some... strange people and creatures... and found out that the sister of a friend is still alive." Though what state Azdaja will be in when they finally get to her, he's not sure - the Fiends have already eaten away at some of her essence.

"It's... it's a world that's sort of the opposite of what the First would have become. The First is a place that was nearly swallowed up by elemental Light. The Thirteenth was completely swallowed by elemental Darkness and became the Void."

"You went to a place full of darkness..?"

Chizuru may not be able to parse everything Nara'a is telling her here, since it's all just a little bit too complicated for her, but she can at least understand that much. And wrap her head around the idea that such a place probably wouldn't be great to try and be in.

Besides, maybe this is all she can do for a moment. Just making sure that he's alright, and listening to him.

Nara'a said he has such a hard time talking about his nightmares, after all. And while this may not be a nightmare, it's still him talking about something personal.

"Um, it's.. good that you managed to find a way there, I suppose, if it was so important." He makes it sound important. "But wasn't it hard on you? Being in a place filled with darkness like that..?"

"... It shouldn't be. Not..." How to even explain? Her world doesn't have aether, from what he's managed to figure out.

He closes his eyes as he thinks through how to get her to understand. "My world is naturally rich in aether - the substance that makes up everything. The Void doesn't have much, to the point where aether is basically a currency. And my body should replenish its own aether soon enough..."

But he's not home. And there's the possibility that things could go wrong here. "It took a bit more effort to do things, but I should be all right." His body feels a bit heavy, but it's... fine. It'll be all right. "I was home before I woke up here again... so things should be fine..."

He sighs and opens his eyes, looking Chizuru in the face but not quite meeting her gaze. "I... went to the past again, as well. To try to discover the secrets behind a place full of dangerous monsters... but I only found the secrets of one of my old enemies. There's still more there... and that place has shown up in the present now, too."

A good summary would be to say that Nara'a just went through a lot, huh. Going to some sort of place filled with darkness, going to the past, finding out secrets..

He must be tired, she thinks, after emerging from.. whatever all this goo around him is. When he speaks about his body replenishing his aether soon, meaning that he must be low on it right now, Chizuru's hand moves down from Nara's hair to his forehead, holding the back of her hand against it, like she's checking to see if he's got a fever, or any other signs of being sick.

It's not like she's ever heard of aether before, but that's why the most she can do is just check the basic signs of someone feeling a little unwell.

And in the meantime she can continue to listen to him. Maybe talking helps him too - if not just to get all his thoughts in order about what he went through.

"Well.. You can't access that place anymore now you're back here, right? So, um.. maybe it's better to not think about it too much or too hard.."

He feels cold and a little clammy, but his body temperature is naturally low here. He doesn't feel like he's sick, at least... he looks a bit dazed, but he's still trying to adjust to being back in Trench. The touch is... nice, at least. He doesn't get sick often outside of conditions inflicted in battle, so he's not used to this kind of affection.

"Maybe... they're in danger, though. There's a... someone who's trying to conquer the Void. We defeated two of his Fiends, but there's still two left as well as him. ... I don't want them to hurt the people there, even if most of them are monstrous now. And it's the remnants of a world that people cared about... and maybe one day we can bring back the light."

".. I'm sorry," she slowly says.

After all, Chizuru knows it can't be helped. Even if Nara'a did somehow manage to temporarily go home - or whatever exactly happened to him - it doesn't seem like the sort of thing that could easily be replicated. So no matter how much he might want to help out and save people, it's not like he can just choose to do so and have it happen.

And she knows that must be hard. Especially since Nara'a is so kind. It would probably hurt him to think about it, people in danger and him unable to do a thing about it..

Determining he doesn't feel like he's got a fever, she lets her hand drop. Chizuru pauses for a moment, but then instead opts to hold one of his hands between two of her own.

"I know it must be hard that you can't do more for those people right now, but.. you already helped. Even though you were stuck here, you somehow managed to go back long enough to help out.. I think that shows how strong and caring you are. Even if it was just for a little while, even this place couldn't stop you from helping out."

"You don't have anything to be sorry about." Chizuru didn't do anything wrong. She's just trying to help... though he can feel the worry threatening to consume him anyway. It's not like they can do much of anything while Zero's still recovering, but...

His hands shake slightly, but he tries to stay steady for her sake. He can't... he just can't sit around and do nothing... "I wish I could... just go back when I want to. It's not like that here, though. I can't just step through a portal and go somewhere else." As much as he'd like to... "I just don't want more people to get hurt. So many people are suffering there... it's a world where nothing can die."

As nice as that might sound to some people, it's... horrible. Coming back again and again, with no rest... "There's too many people who have given up hope. ... I just want to help. But I can't from here." He grimaces, his fangs a bit extended. "I can't... and it's frustrating as all hells."

Maybe you'll be able to help there again soon, she wants to say, but it feels too much like giving Nara'a false hope. There's nothing that says he'll be able to do so for sure, after all. Chizuru has been here for most of a year now, and she hasn't had a single opportunity to go home to help out with things there. Nara'a has gotten once such opportunity. How big is the chance that he'd get two..?

But if she can't say that.. then what can she say? When the frustration and pain and worry is hanging over him so obviously. When the main cause of it can't be taken away so easily.

She pauses, feeling unsure of what to say - a little guiltily so. Maybe someone else would have been able to help him better, she thinks.

.. on the other hand.. no one else is here. It's just her. Which means she has to at least try to help him feel better.

"You had a chance like a miracle once now," she says, softly. Gently. "I know it's hard to not worry about everything back home, but.. it could have been worse. If you hadn't gotten this chance, then you wouldn't have been able to do anything at all."

And now he has been able to. Maybe not help with everything, not forever, but.. he got to do something.

It's better than nothing.

"Isn't that worth treasuring, rather than just feeling bad..?"

He takes a few deep breaths, trying to steady himself. He can't help but want to panic, want to push things as fast as possible... but this is turning into a huge battle. He can't expect everything to be going as fast as he wants them to. He also can't let Chizuru on to how stressed he is.

She's too kind. He doesn't want her to worry... it's fine. He can take all of the fear and pain and set it aside, no matter how big. He has to be the godsdamn Warrior of Light, friend to all of the people and not letting his personal problems get in the way. "I know. ... I know."

She's right, but it still can't help but sting. He picks some more of the goo off of himself and sighs. "I feel exhausted... though I've felt exhausted all month. So I guess that's not new." It's taking an effort to get himself up, blinking slowly. "I'm... I'm fine."

"I think you need some sleep," she gently suggests.

Real sleep, that is. Not.. whatever he has come out of. She isn't sure whether he came out of the ocean, or out of the goo, or out of both... and she really hopes it isn't the latter, because that just sounds incredibly unpleasant. It would explain why Nara'a seems a little bit on edge about all of this, especially when combined with everything he must have been going through back home.

Either way - she does think she's right about her suggestion. It's why Chizuru is climbing back onto her feet, holding out her hand towards him so she can help him up.

"I'll get you home."

Though her tone is still gentle, there's something faintly insistent about it too. Like she's going to be stubborn here, and insist on at least this much. Ensure Nara'a gets back home, so he can shower to get all this junk off him, and then properly sleep. Just knock himself out for a while. Then he won't have to think so much, since it doesn't feel like overthinking this is going to be good for him. It might only make him feel worse, even if he is fine right now.

(And she's questioning that too, just a little bit, though she's too polite to question it out loud. So it remains in her mind for now.)

"Sleep." He chuckles, then feels his shoulders shaking. Sleep? What's sleep when he's got the weight of yet another world on him? He takes her hand, cold and shaking. He just wants to go back... he knows he can't, not willingly, but he has to. He has to.

Home... home, right. Yes. Home. Back to Feed, back to his bed... back to blankets and pillows that aren't either the cold ground or uncomfortably luxurious. Home... home would be good, even if he doesn't want Gaia to see him in this state. "I don't know... if I can sleep. If I can..." Well. He'll dream, all right. He's got a whole new set of nightmares to keep him busy.

His Omen runs up his leg and back and climbs onto his shoulder, wrapping his tail around the back of Nara'a's neck. He bops the miqo'te with a paw - not hard, but firmly. Go to bed! "... Right, right... I... okay." He takes a step out of the remains of the goo and stumbles a bit as he tries to remember how legs work. "i've... I'm okay..."

He has to be, for everyone's sake.

It hurts to see Nara'a like this. Even though Chizuru knows that the severity of his current state must have a lot to do with him still being caught up in his feelings about having been back home, being thrown out of all that action so suddenly.. And that it also has to do with just the way he is. With Nara'a being way too good of a person, ready to sacrifice his everything for the world, for everyone else to be safe.

She squeezes the hand she's holding. It's light, but insistent, like she's trying to drag him out of his own thoughts a little, trying to get some of his attention focused on her.

If Nara'a looks over at her, Chizuru will be gently smiling up at him. Not quite walking yet, not making him move. Just standing there quietly, calmly, a tiny gentle smile on her face.

"It's going to be alright."

She can't promise that. Not technically. But even though it's a statement only based on hope, she wants to get just a fraction of it through to him. Just enough that he might be able to settle his heart a little more, enough to just breathe. To sleep, later.

"I'm here with you." She glances at his Omen, smiles a little wider, and adds: "And I'm not the only one."

Because Nara'a has so many people who are willing to support him, both back home and here. She's sure of it.

He feels that squeeze, and it drags him back towards what she's saying. What? Right. Right, he's... he's okay. He's here, in Trench. He has to deal with that now, but... but he can do this. He blinks hard and tries to breathe.

"I'm... sorry. I don't... mean to worry you. I'm just... trying to figure out what to do." He doesn't feel well... he's probably fine, though. It's probably just from being in that thing. "You're... you're right. Let's... get back."

His thoughts are running in circles, guilt and shame on his shoulders despite his attempts to shrug it off. He takes a breath, and then another. The sea stretches out before him and he breathes in the air. "... It's a long walk to get to where I'm staying. I'm... sorry. It doesn't have a lamp..."

"That's okay."

It might be easy to assume it's all empty platitudes at this point. Like Chizuru would say it's okay no matter what he's saying here - but no, it's just that it really is okay to her. Chizuru doesn't mind walking, and even less so when it means that she's helping a friend with it.

It's better than letting poor Nara'a stumble home by himself when he's still clearly a little tender around the edges. Still a little thrown off by everything that happened to him.

"What neighbourhood is it? We can probably at least find a lantern nearby!" The girl sees to make up for what Nara'a - due to his current state - is lacking in spirit, smiling widely, energetically. It's like she's channeling all of her worries about him into energy to try and cheer him up. To make him feel like everything is at least a little normal, even when it actually isn't at all. "Or else we can just walk the entire way, if you feel more up to that. I'm fine with it either way. I'll bring you all the same home."

No matter what.

"It's out near Feed. We'll have to head to the Waystation and walk from there." It's not a quick walk, but at least it'll give him time to get his bearings. Enough time to prepare an explanation for Gaia at least. "If we walked the whole way we'd have to go through the Trenchwood."

And that's... not a good idea to do, not in his current state. He's not sure if he'd be able to fight off anything like this. He doesn't have - ah, right. He doesn't have his summoner crystal. He'll have to go back to using red mage instead. "I'm not going to put you at risk just because of me."

That doesn't mean he won't walk with her... just that he won't put her through the Trenchwood. He doesn't want her to get hurt.

.. yeah, Chizuru can't really protest that one. After all, if they did get attacked out there, it's not like she could do much to protect the two of them - and the one thing she could do would probably just make Nara'a even more freaked out, and he's doing bad enough already.

So she nods. "That sounds like the best plan."

It'll keep them the safest. And that's the most important thing to her right now. Delivering Nara'a home safely - where there will hopefully be a housemate to look after him. Chizuru keeps smiling.

"And if you want to talk along the way about more stuff, I can listen."

Especially when she feels like Nara'a has a lot to talk about right now. A lot he just has to get out there, even if Chizuru may not necessarily understand it all.

But she'll gladly listen all the same. It's how she is. Whatever helps him the most.

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