deercountry | Shen Yuan | November Catch-All

"Shen Yuan mentioned books on the shelf before..." he murmurs, thoughtful, an idea gradually beginning to form. He's not even going to start on the name of the sword. What kind of a hack writes this stuff...?

"Luo Binghe is the protagonist of the book you found yourself suddenly a part of. But this place is not his book."

He smiles, and there's an air of mischief.

"Who is to say he will not meet his match in others here?"

That's...a thought. Not one Shen Yuan is altogether sure he likes; Luo Binghe's not just any protagonist, he's *the* protagonist, Shen Yuan's favorite even before he raised him up himself from a little bun. Why else would he have wasted so many hours trying to get Airplane to improve the plot, if not to make it worthy of him. Deep down Shen Yuan doesn't want to see him defeated.

But he wants to be ripped apart even less. "Lan-gongzi has a plan, then?" he asked, leaning closer with interest. "Then tell me what he thinks I should do."

"The beginnings of one, should he be averse to reason," he explains. "If I knew more of what he was capable of --"

He hesitates.

"--Acute penchant for violence aside; it may be easier to come up with specifics. And moreover if there was anything you changed in his ...er... story when you took up the role of his shizun."

Shen Yuan is staring at Lan Xichen like he's speaking a foreign language, and he sort of it. The best Shen Qingqiu had been able to come up on his own was indeed running away from Luo Binghe; standing and dealing with him, trying to change the rules of the encounter so physical violence never enters into it...These still seem like impossible goals to him. But Lan Xichen is trying so hard to help, and Shen Yuan...he wants to keep his limbs. ~~He wants Binghe to stop hating him.~~ He wants to see where this goes.

"I stopped beating him, to begin with," he says, laughs awkwardly, the itchiness in his eyes increasing. Fuck no, he's not going to start crying again, when he doesn't even have drunkeness to excuse it. "The original Shen Qingqiu was a...terrible man. A terrible teacher," he explains. "I had to past a test from the System before I could stop imitating his shitty personality, but at least I was able to come up with some excuses not to keep beating Luo Binghe every day. I...I replaced the fake cultivation manual he'd been given with a real one." He sits and thinks for a moment, tapping his fingers together in lieu of a fan, both trying to pick out specific situations and the proper wording to describe him. "I moved him into my house," he admits, somewhat embarrassed. "The other disciples all took their cue on proper behavior from Shen Qingqiu. They bullied Binghe straight out of the dormitory and made him sleep in the woodshed, and I didn't want to put him back in the dorm if they were going to keep picking on him, so I put him in the spare room. He insisted on cooking and cleaning for me after that, but I don't think that was a negative for him? He seemed happy!" Shen Yuan are you trying to convince Lan Xichen or yourself??

Xichen does a good job of not wincing, though he can't entirely blame Shen Yuan for not seeing the signs. It wasn't as though he had disciples before - the man was rather playing it by ear. It was especially common with teenagers who had suffered difficult childhoods; even a scrap of kindness could look like a banquet. The abrupt change in behaviour had probably been terribly confusing for Binghe.

"It... might have been more prudent to keep the boy at a little more distance so that he could not mistake your intent, but it is good you remedied the former shizun's actions and put a stop to the abuse. Physical punishment should never be administered for small infractions."

Hours of copying lines was usually enough to correct poor behaviour.

"If he were to come here, why not simply tell him the truth of what happened? You aren't held to secrecy in this place."

Shen Yuan would like to see *anyone* taste Luo Binghe's cooking once and then successfully 'keep him at a distance,' okay, it's just that good. But he doesn't say that. Instead he grimaces at Lan Xichen's suggestion - telling Binghe the truth? Were it that easy -- and says, "The Endless Abyss plot."

Despite all his efforts, Shen Yuan still has to dab at the corner of his eye with his sleeve before he can continue. "In the book, Luo Binghe never raised a hand against Shen Qingqiu, or tried to escape him, until after he'd passed through the Endless Abyss. He...his foster mother raised him to be a good boy. Filial, forgiving, obedient...he tried to hold onto those morals in her memory. But the things he suffered in the Abyss, the things he had to do just to survive...and then bonding with Xin Mo to increase his power, it. It blackened his heart. He was a completely different person when he finally escaped."

The tears are coming a little faster than Shen Yuan can easily keep up with now, as he remembers all the things his poor white lotus will have to endure. "On top of that, there's... there's a Sleeper here, Darth Maul, whose story I'm also somewhat familiar with. His master was even worse than Shen Qingqiu, and...I spoke to him, a little, about Binghe. Told him what I'd done in hypothetical terms and asked him if he though reconciliation was possible. And he said...he said..."

It's too much for one long-suffering millennial to take. Shen Yuan buries his face in his sleeve again, wailing, "He said Binghe will probably hate me *more,* since I was kind before I betrayed him. He said that's *worse* than just being cruel from the start! Everything I did for Binghe counts against me now, if he comes here he'll probably try to attack me on sight!!"

"He may not be wrong," Lan Xichen agrees, albeit reluctantly. "But everyone is different. Sometimes people wish to simply understand why their trust had been betrayed."

A handkerchief materializes from somewhere inside his robes, and he offers it wordlessly to Shen Yuan.

"Being honest and sincerely expressing your regret could go much further than you think. But I understand why that would be a frightening thing for you."

He lays a gentle, reassuring hand on Shen Yuan's forearm.

"You would not have to face him alone, if he ever shows up here at all."

"Th-thank you," Shen Yuan mutters, mopping his face and -- there's just no way to avoid it -- blowing his nose into the handkerchief. "I-I want to believe that, I do. If just telling him that I'm sorry has a chance of fixing things, so he won't hate me anymore, I'll scream it from the rooftops. He just...he scares me so much."

A bitter, wet laugh. "And to think, I was one of the people cheering him on, when he ripped Shen Qingqiu apart in the novel. I even wanted him to go further, since Shen Qingqiu had been such a lech towards Binghe's girlfriend...does it count as karma, when you were enjoying the suffering of a fictional character?"

That's ur hanky now, Shen Yuan. Treasure it.

"Such explicit fiction would be banned from the Cloud Recesses, so I cannot speak from experience," he explains, "but I have certainly read some tales where I have felt strongly about villains and heroes alike."

A small, wry smile flickers over his lips.

"...Though perhaps not so much as to wish such an end."

Shen Yuan laughs again, this time with a little bit of real humor in it, and folds the handkerchief to keep the mess contained. "I sort of figured, with your...everything." The whole pure, serene, leader of a righteous sect demeanor Lan Xichen has going. He has it even stronger than Yue Qingyuan did; Shen Yuan can't imagine him ever letting one of his sect members get away with treating a disciple the way Shen Qingqiu treated Luo Binghe. But that reminds him of something else that'd been weighing on his mind, and after gathering his courage he finally asks,

"Why...hm. Why are you being so kind to me about this? Like, don't get me wrong, I truly appreciate it, but...I read a lot of novels set in cultivation worlds, in my first life. I know how a righteous cultivator is supposed to behave, what kind of standard of behavior they're supposed to keep, and I...I know I fell short. Very short." Very, very, very short.

"Why aren't you judging me more harshly?" he asks. "You said before, something happened with your friend..." Was it really bad, is how Shen Yuan would end that sentence, if his face were just a bit thicker. It's hard to imagine someone like Lan Xichen really doing something so terrible that he'd consider himself as having sunk to Shen Yuan's level.

"Reading a few stories about being a sect leader and actually becoming one are two very different things. In my world, most of those who might lead the sect one day are prepared for it starting in their childhood."

He gives Shen Yuan's forearm a reassuring squeeze.

"This was not the case for Shen-gongzi. This was not a situation anyone could properly prepare to be in. But he still managed to right terrible wrongs. If he is going to disparage his failures, he should also bear in mind his successes."

That's...hm. That's a point. Shen Yuan isn't used to dwelling on his own own achievements, it seems arrogant and distasteful, but. Can it really, honestly be said, that his term as a peak lord was a complete disaster for Cang Qiong? Didn't he protect the sect's young disciples and stop demons from running off with the establishment plaque? Didn't he save Liu Qingge's life, when he died in the book? This things have nothing to do with his relative successes or failures in raising Luo Binghe.

He doesn't say any of this out loud, see above re: tooting one's own horn, but he does nod and say, "Lan-gongzi has the right of it, of course. But this one is still impressed by his compassion. And grateful for it."

He too does not speak for a time, letting Shen Yuan think over these important things, though his smile suggests that he is well aware that the other man has been downplaying any accomplishments in favour of catastrophizing.

"Though I do not doubt he will be hurt and angered by your choices; if he grew to be as kind as you say, he may be less inclined to revenge and more towards understanding, if not outright reconciliation. Do not presume that your changes, however small you think they may be, will yield the same tragic outcome."

Remember the butterfly effect, Shen Yuan!

Shen Yuan still has so many doubts, but Lan Xichen has at least managed to suspend them, for the moment. Shen Yuan nods thoughtfully, before sighing and saying, in an entirely different tone of voice, "It's been long enough that this one is beginning to feel better. Would Lan-gongzi still be interested in going to breakfast with me...? Or rather brunch, considering the hour." And he smiles shyly, but also hopeful.

Brunch. Is that what they call a late breakfast?

Lan Xichen's head ducks briefly to hide his bashful smile, though the faint blue hue colouring his ears is less easy to keep out of sight. But Shen Yuan's desire to eat is some relief. Get him outside, keep him occupied, do not let these nightmarish hallucinations get their claws back into his friend's mind. Xichen has very simple goals, and he has no desire to abandon a friend at such a vulnerable point.

"Of course. This one would be happy to accompany Shen-gongzi. Does he, perhaps, have any preferences, or shall we simply explore our options together?"

Even though eating together had been Lan Xichen's idea in the first place, a part of Shen Yuan is surprised that he's actually going through with it because he has low self-esteem and struggles with the idea that people might actually like him unless they're as fucked up as he is.

You know, like Jin Guangyao!

His surprise manifests itself as a wide, happy grin, dignity momentarily forgotten as he stands and reaches for his boots. "I know of a place Lan-gongzi might like. Just follow me."

And if he happens to lead Lan Xichen to the Wilful Machine, to a cafe he and Jin Guangyao have frequented more than once, that is simply a coincidence.

The café has a pleasing atmosphere, and Xichen is not remotely surprised that it's somewhere both Jin Guangyao and Shen Yuan have visited repeatedly.

He pulls his omni from the fold of his robe as Shen Yuan gets their seats.

"A moment. I am sure A-Yao would like to see you are well. My message to him last night may have been a bit nebulous."

A-Yao,
Getting brunch with Shen-gongzi and we would be delighted if you would join us (づ ◕‿◕ )づ

Please be gentle with Shen-gongzi; he drank in excess to try to combat the hallucinations that have been plaguing him, but I think seeing you even for just a little while will help raise his spirits (〃‿〃✿)

We are at the café you and Shen-gongzi like in the Willful Machine. I hope you decide to come!

- Lan Xichen✿

[Jin Guangyao's response arrives only a moment or two later; as usual, his response is absent any emojis.]

USER ID: WHENINLANLING (JIN GUANGYAO)

Of course. I would be delighted to join Er-ge and Shen-di for

[what the fuck is 'brunch'? He takes a moment to look it up. ...oh. if it is just a late breakfast, why not simply call it a late breakfast? It doesn't appear as though anyone consumes traditional lunch fare during 'brunch.' Jin Guangyao opts not to engage in The Discourse.]

a late breakfast. Please allow me fifteen minutes to close up the siheyuan, and another five to walk to the cafe. It is just around the corner from where we live.

Edited 2022-11-20 23:10 (UTC)

Shen Yuan doesn't protest the unplanned (yeah, right) inclusion, but he does thank Lan Xichen as they both take their seats, which basically constitutes a ringing endorsement coming from him.

"Then we have some time to kill, before Jin-ge can join us," he says. He's invited his friend places enough times to know exactly how long it takes him to lock up his home, and it's with that knowledge in mind that he rests his head in his hand and smiles shyly at Lan Xichen, saying, "Has Lan-gongzi any ideas for how we might pass the time?"

Blue colours his cheeks and ears, and Lan Xichen has to remind himself that Shen Yuan is originally from a society where such behaviour can be treated in a much more casual way, and that Xichen should not put much in stock by it.

(It peaks his curiosity, however, what it must be like to be so free with self-expression, and he envies Shen Yuan in that regard. And if, if he smiles a bit shyly and looks away, well, that's only natural in the face of a bit of culture shock.)

"I had assumed we'd talk some more. But there are also some delightful games on the omni. Has Shen-gongzi ever played something called Candy Crush...?"

Because of course basic mobile games would get their claws in him. Of course.

Shen Yuan considers it and consciously chooses not to look behind him to see whatever's causing Lan Xichen to blush so hard (assuming that is a blush and not some other Coldblood reaction, anyway...). If it's someone wearing shortsleeves or something like that, well. He just needs to get used to it! And making him talk about it will just be embarrassing for them both.

(It does not occur to him to connect Lan Xichen's line of sight with his own face. This does not even register as a possibility in his comphet-chugging little mind.)

Instead he laughs, delighted by the mental image of a master cultivator playing Candy Crush, of all things, and says, "Lan-gongzi is getting used to the omnis so quickly! How far has he gotten in Candy Crush, may this one see?"

Show him your high score, Lan Xichen. Show him your high score!

(One day Shen Yuan will connect the dots. One day.)

Rather sheepishly, Xichen flips open his omni, and opens up the game for Shen Yuan to see.

His high score is not particularly high, but then again, he's only been playing a few days and is entirely new to this whole modern tech thing. The fact he was able to figure out how to get it working at all is probably a feat in and of itself.

"You know of it...? I'm sure Shen-gongzi is far better at these sorts of things. If he has any advice, I would be glad to hear it."

That's definitely how Shen Yuan sees it, and he's so proud of Lan Xichen he could just about burst.

"It existed in my homeworld, among others," he says happily, delighted by both the familiary and absurdity of this conversation. "It was a fairly typical way to pass the time, if one was waiting on an appointment or just didn't have anything better to do." He laughs again, decorously covering his mouth this time. "It's amazing that Lan-gongzi discovered something like this all on his own. Is he enjoying himself? This one is truly impressed by his adaptability!"

"Others...?"

He is intrigued. He didn't know there was variety with this sort of thing!

"I do enjoy it. Every time I think I have plumbed the depths of this device, I uncover new and fascinating facets."

He does look genuinely pleased, as the omni to him is like having a veritable library at his fingertips. He's learned so much in such a short span that it's difficult to keep it all in his head, but he's managing somehow.

"There are entire galleries of art of all kinds. It's truly amazing such a thing can exist."

"Oh?" And now Shen Yuan forgets himself to the point of scooting his chair around to sit kitty-corner to Lan Xichen, so they can look at his omni's screen together. "Show me what you've found," he says imperiously, too excited on Lan Xichen's behalf to phrase it as a polite request. He wants to see what's making Lan-gongzi look so pleased with himself and happy!

"I've mostly been using my omni to catch up on all the reading I missed from my homeworld. It hadn't even occurred to me to go looking for art galleries."

Shen Yuan | November Catch-All

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