deercountry | [ open ] and between the wasteland and the sky

[dabi goes to slip his hands in his pockets, only to find there are none in this jumpsuit. damn. that's kind of uncomfortable actually. he leaves his arms by his side, listening to some of the commotion echoing through other tunnels. well, since he's stuck with a damn pacifist, guess if some other zealots come around for him (them) he'll be the one dealing with them.

the blonde catches up to him and dabi's expression flattens at the question.]

Yep. [it felt pretty damn good to kill someone who threatened him. the other question, however, earns a brief exhale of wry amusement.] Don't play psychoanalyst with me, idiot. I ain't someone ya wanna get in my head.

[he reaches up and thumbs at the staples holding the patch of skin under his eye.]

Lost the ability to feel pain a long time ago.

[do therapists even exist on gunsmoke, itisamystery dot jpg.]

That's not what I mean.

[Sure, the physical wounds are one thing. If he's lost the ability to feel pain outright, then they must be even more severe than he thought--but that's not the point. It's the horror of it, the suffering, that lingers. The fear, the pain. Not everyone wants peace. He understands that only too well--he has spent decades upon decades in pursuit of Knives, after all. But that's also why he can't let it go. Even if Knives were to eradicate all humanity, it wouldn't erase what happened to Tesla. It wouldn't ease that sense of rage and despair that it could've been them, that the woman who protected and raised them had been involved. Vash knows he cannot reach him, and that it falls to him to end things, for the sake of everyone Rem died to protect, because he is the only one who can. But wounds like that are not satisfied by blood. It is at best a knife one can drive into their soul, to remind themselves they are alive, as they continue to suffer.

He shakes his head.]

You make it sound as though you are simply too dangerous to try to understand. In my experience, people like that want to be understood the most.

[probably one or two self-proclaimed ones. with ulterior motives...]

Sure it isn't.

[he's not the first person to look at dabi and think "oh you poor thing" and reach out in some attempt to understand. the few times it's happened have all started the same way: commenting on his scars and either wondering if they still hurt or why he has them in the first place. begin with the physical and then think it's some masterful segue to transition into the emotional and mental. obviously someone with this kind of physical damage has suffered. the scent of smoke and burning has been around dabi so much, it's saturated his skin and flesh, a lingering hint eternally that can only be covered up so much with something else. the way vash talks right now suggests that he's experienced something similar, at least in a way that makes him think he can relate or understand. perhaps he can; dabi has no way of proving otherwise. but the thing is, reaching someone only works if there's a reception. an opening in a wall, a path across a chasm. neither of which the villain possesses for other people anymore.

too far gone for something as pleasant as reaching to succeed. after all, reaching and understanding like this are simply two words that ultimately end in an attempt to change. and he has no intention of doing so.

stop it, touya.

dabi's had enough of other people telling him to stop.]

Nah. It ain't that. I don't need ya to waste your time. Just like what happened back there.

[in reference to the late zealot vash tried to save a couple minutes ago. wasted breath. wasted effort. is he too "dangerous" to understand? probably not. question is, if vash did learn about him, dabi's already pegged him for the kind of person to follow his "i understand" with a self-important denying "but" afterwards.]

[Vash doesn't think it was a waste of time, though. He's unhappy that Dabi didn't listen, of course, and he's disappointed he didn't react in time to pull the man out of the way regardless of Dabi's choice, but he'd never consider it a waste of time to have tried to convince him otherwise.

But that line of argument probably would be a waste of time. Instead, he takes a different tack:]

If that's the case, why keep walking with me?

[It might seem like a non-sequitur, on its face. But from the other man's point of view, Vash's presence must be a hindrance at best--injured, missing an arm, and unwilling to fight to kill. Even in his irritation in being "preached at", he hadn't attacked Vash, nor tried to get rid of him since, despite his pointed questions.]

I can't step through flames any more than those people can.

Edited 2022-12-06 00:11 (UTC)

[in retrospect, perhaps it wasn't a known waste of time on vash's part, but at the same time, does the blonde really think someone who'd murder without an issue would be open to sitting down for a nice chat about why what he's doing is wrong? dabi doesn't know for sure that's what this guy would do, but considering his words and actions, highly suspects it.

the question, however, earns a quiet drone from the villain, less thoughtful and more zoned.]

Ya ain't tried to kill me yet.

[the other reason being dabi tends to align with other sleepers merely as a middle finger show to the "gods" that kidnapped them into this world. his loyalty is to himself, but given a choice, he'll extend it to people from his own world, and then closer companions who've earned it, and then finally other sleepers if it comes down to choosing between them or whatever shit trench is dumping on them. provided they're worth his time and effort. at the moment, despite his pacifism, vash is still keeping pace with dabi and isn't interfering with him, so he has little reason to abandon him or harm him.

the villain's mouth curves in a wry smirk just at the corner.]

Then don't get in front of me when we encounter another buncha idiot.

[dabi pauses at the T intersection of hallways and pokes his head out to glance left and right down the new hall, checking to see if it's clear, before heading out into it.]

[Vash really does think that, is the thing. Or, well, not quite sitting down for a chat with tea and biscuits, but he genuinely believes most people who are driven to murder can be reasoned with. Next time, Vash will be more prepared.]

Well, I can certainly promise the first won't happen, but I make no guarantees on the second.

[He even wears a big dumb grin at that one, like he's told a very funny joke. Unfortunately for Dabi's blood pressure he is 100% serious, he has dodged submachine gunfire for his principles and weird blue-black hellfire is no different.]

Edited 2022-12-06 01:19 (UTC)

[as much as he'd want to chalk it up to naivety, something about this guy doesn't imply that at all. so he'll pin it on stupid. main issue is reasoning with someone who doesn't want to be reasoned with. outside of "reasoning" being "agreeing" on his drive.]

Then you'll die.

[vash gets a flat response for his grin, also equally as serious despite his blase tone. he has no qualms with filling the entire hallway with fire front and back if he has to. but then again, at best he'll simply be aiming at the person vash is trying to get in the way of. it'll be up to the blonde-haired ladybug to take it or dodge.]

Any idea why these idiots captured us?

[ open ] and between the wasteland and the sky

i think their possessions reform if they die? (my take at least.)

oh i meant more it ripping from all the torture-y stuff lol, not even a death

oh from the zealots and stuff. gotcha.

haha yeah i'm not planning to do a death plot for a while i think

ngl i'm with you on that one. saving it for something more impacting.

fuck yeah

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