Fear is pain arising from the anticipation of evil.

[survivalthroughhate]

Who: survivalthroughhate and you!
What: November, December, and January prompts
When: Starting the first week of November
Where: All over Trench!

Content Warnings: Child abuse physical and mental mentions, grooming, torture, suicidal ideation, madness, dissociation from reality, hallucinations, impaling, decapitation (implied but not directly shown), body horror, violent removal of prosthetic limb

Comments

Winter Mourning Memory - Duel of the Fates - For Obi-Wan

[survivalthroughhate]

[Maul's mind blurs when he enters the memory, and when it stops, he finds himself standing on the other side of a pair of doors that will lead to the Naboo hangar. He blinks for a moment, confused, and trying to remember what he's supposed to be doing there. His master...something to do with his master...that's right, his master's will. He's supposed to kill the Jedi and kidnap the young queen.

The doors open and Maul looks up with hatred in his eyes. He ignores everyone except the two Jedi at the back of the crowd. When he meets their eyes, again his mind grows hazy, and the hatred gives way to confusion. They look so familiar yet he knows he's never met the padawan before and only met the master briefly in combat on Tatooine. So why does it feel like he somehow knows so much about them?

He gives a brisk shake of his head. His master has given his orders and Maul must obey. Maul is his master's faithful weapon and will not fail him. He ignites his saberstaff, ready to begin a fight to the death.]

[jedies]

[ the saber hilt slips into his hand like it belongs there. what is compelling him? what brought him here? his memories are once more a blur, years melting together. he was a padawan once. he is a padawan again. but none of that matters except for the battle and he is a blade. ]

[survivalthroughhate]

[Something keeps trying to break through under the surface, but with a practiced hand, Maul pushes it down. Weapons don't have thoughts or feelings of their own but still there is a certain distracted nature to his movements, something almost like reluctance. Openings he doesn't take advantage of, attacks he doesn't follow fully through on.

He keeps focusing on the padawan for reasons he can't understand. It's absurd. The master, old as he is, is the main threat. But he's fixated on the padawan instead, feeling something like a connection between the two of them.]

[jedies]

[ there is something. a tug or an itch. the force? but what is he to do in this moment besides hold his saber in front of himself, bracing for an attack. though perhaps an attack is not coming. perhaps it's something else. ]

[survivalthroughhate]

[Maul retreats a few steps back, unable to fully keep his mind on the task at hand. This isn't good. He'll lose the battle this way. But his hearts are not fully in it.

The Force keeps trying to tell him something but it's hard to listen after so many years of being bent to his master's will. With the space between himself and the Jedi, he focuses again on the padawan. Without even consciously thinking of it, he reaches out towards him with the Force, a dark tendril from his own mind reaching out towards the other's. He's not even sure why he's doing it but Maul needs to figure out why there's this energy brimming between the two of them.]

[jedies]

[ something isn't right. he knows this place, he knows this life. there should be callouses instead of smooth skin. there should be wrinkles by his eyes. his body is brimming with newness and yet obi-wan feels so old.

he knows this place. he knows this path. he nearly lowers his blade as something sings, calling, calling. ]

[survivalthroughhate]

[When he connects briefly with the Jedi's mind, Maul involuntarily takes a step or two back. He knows him, of this he's certain. Their lives are intertwined, not in this moment, but stretching out at points into the future, ones Maul can only start to begin to comprehend.

There's a wave of emotions that comes over Maul once the connection is formed there, his own, but ones he has no context for. Intense hatred is there, rage fueled by the man in front of him, and oddly....love? Something not initially felt but a state that eventually he shall come to realize in time.

It causes him to stop fighting entirely. His saberstaff is still lit and he could just as easily fall back into a ready stance but his mind is in turmoil, trying to put all the pieces together that are slowly coming forth.]

[jedies]

[ obi-wan pauses as well, though he doesn't lower his saber. instead he actually raises his voice to ask: ]

Who are you?

[survivalthroughhate]

[Who is he? A good question. Part of him still feels like his master's faithful weapon, someone without thoughts, wants, or needs of their own. He is just a weapon to be used and placed back on the shelf until next time. But there's echoes of years not yet lived in his mind, ones that tell him that's not entirely true anymore. He reaches for the name he knows to be his own and finally finds it.

In a soft voice, he answers back.]

My name is Darth Maul.

[Who is this Jedi? Maul is seeking answers as well but he knows better than to ask questions. His master has conditioned him not to ask questions.]