deercountry | (closed) december catchall

Maul was involved with the Winter Mourning memories last year. Some had been alright but a number of them had been hard to get through or even outright horrific. Yet this place has decided he needs to learn a bit more about his fellow Sleepers.

When he arrives in the memory, he doesn't recognize the place nor the boy who is practicing katas in the middle of the space. When he glances next to who is speaking next to him and sees it's Daniel, he looks back and forth between the two figures a few times as it becomes clear he's seeing Daniel's younger self.

He knows Winter Mourning memories tend to be of times of great emotion in a person's life, so he wonders what is about to unfold. Still, rather than try to put all the pieces together, he preemptively asks: "What am I looking at here?"

It's tempting to snap back, even though Maul - in this case, in this instance - has done nothing to necessarily deserve it. If anything, that's a very nice and neutral question compared to a whole lot of other stuff the man could have said in the face of this.

Even Daniel realises as much. And what he also realises is that the memory he's about to witness is one that's rough for him to have to live through all over again in the first place. Does he really want to make it harder on himself by arguing with Maul, as tempting as Daniel's dumb temper would make that?

.. no, he doesn't.

He slowly exhales, and then just explains, though he doesn't look directly at Maul as he speaks, instead staring at his younger self.

"I'm practicing kata," he says, omitting the part that the kid is him, because.. well, Daniel may have certain ideas about Maul, but he doesn't assume the other is dumb. He thinks Maul already figured out that's Daniel, if it's his memory and the kid looks so much like the way Daniel does even now he's so much older. "They're the basis of my karate."

.. maybe he should just talk.

It's a good distraction from thinking about what's about to follow here in this memory. Just let his mouth run without thinking about it too hard. Without even thinking too much about who he's talking to, as the boy still seems to go through the motions by himself, not noticing either Daniel or Maul.

"But this is not the dojo I'm supposed to be practicing at. I was lured here by a conman."

"I know what katas are," Maul says a touch impatiently. It's the same term used for the movements learned when wielding a lightsaber back in his own world, though only a few people (most of them Maul's students) who weren't from his galaxy would be aware of that.

He watches the memory play out, waiting to see what will happen next. He can sense a little of the emotions coming off of Daniel and figures this isn't going to be a good memory for either of them to witness. "Young and foolish you were, as most are at that age," Maul observes. He was that way once too, still with a core of innocence, at least until he hit about the age of fifteen. He pushes those memories away in his mind with a practiced hand, not want to revisit them right now when he's got this to focus on instead.

He waits to see what will happen next, either in the memory itself or through Daniel explaining it.

Daniel doesn't snap back at what Maul is saying. It's not like the other is saying anything untrue, after all, despite the fact that Daniel kind of dislikes hearing it from him.

But he's always thought the same. He was young and foolish. He was dumb, so stupid, that he allowed Cobra Kai to lure him in like this, despite all the warning signs.

But instead of commentary from Daniel, something happens in the memory. The boy is no longer alone in the dojo. A man enters from the back, dressed in a completely black gi compared to the boy's white one. He has dark black hair, pulled back tight into a little ponytail. Perhaps Maul might recognize him as a younger version of the Terry Silver in Trench, especially when he speaks up with a familiar voice, snapping at the boy: "What are you wasting your time with kata for? Didn't I tell you it's useless in a tournament?"

The boy's attention immediately snaps towards the man, despite the fact he still seems to disregard either the older Daniel or Maul's presence there, like they're just invisible. Instead the younger Daniel stares at Terry, agreeing with a "yeah, but--"

It's the protest at the end, no matter how soft and weak already, that the older man immediately cuts off, snapping more at him, interrupting Daniel with a pointed "yes, sir!", repeating it until the boy stammers and repeats it, the younger Daniel's nervous gaze looking everywhere but directly at the man towering over him, so much bigger than Daniel's own small and young frame.

"Yes, sir, y-you're right, I'm sorry," he stammers, half-mumbled.

The older Daniel almost seems to copy the younger's nervous energy, staring at the ground himself, like this hits something within him that makes it too difficult to even look at, despite this still being relatively mild.

Maul watches but he might not have made the connection were it not for the hair. Humans aren't nearly as distinctive-looking as Zabraks after all. But seeing as how he's kept the same look for forty years, the young version of Terry is easier to recognize that way and the voice makes it all clear. It also makes Maul appreciate how well the older man has aged from then until now, rather like fine wine.

"You were trained by Terry?" Maul says with surprise in his voice. That's right, Maul's met Terry Silver, and worse yet they've actually been getting along. This will only spell good things for everyone in Trench.

He can understand that nervous energy the younger and older versions both have, knowing all too well that feelin which can come from someone who is supposed to be a mentor teaching you, and instead uses intimidation methods to get what they want out of you. Hadn't Sidious done that many a time with him?

"What?"

The surprise in Maul's voice seems to be reflected in Daniel's own voice, his tone just as surprised as he turns his head away from the scene in front of them to instead look over at Maul. There's a frown on his face, though it's more indulged by everything about this situation, and now laced with surprise on top of it.

The scene still continues, the younger Daniel and Terry moving over towards a punching bag, but the older Daniel's attention now seems fully on Maul.

"You know him?"

Maybe he shouldn't be surprised, given.. Daniel's opinion on Terry, and his opinion on Maul.. if any two people in Trench would know each other through sheer similarity, it ought to be those two from his point of view, right? And yet it seems to come as a surprise all the same, like he never even considered it.

"We've met a few times," Maul tells Daniel truthfully. "He's helped me understand something about myself I didn't fully comprehend before." Namely introducing Maul to the concept of PTSD, a concept that has no name in Maul's galaxy but which he definitely suffers from the effects of. He hasn't really delved much further into it but it's something he means to discuss with some trusted people down the line.

Maul has no idea of the complicated relationship between Daniel and Terry. Frankly, he thinks Terry is a decent individual if not the most trustworthy. But there's nothing in his personality that sets that off, it's just that one must reach Friendship Level #10 before Maul will trust them at all.

Under different circumstances it would be so tempting to make a smartass comment about that, telling Maul that it's probably got something to do with murder.

It's not caution that keeps Daniel from doing so, though, even though that would be the smart reason to keep from it. No, it's just that Daniel is still way too much on edge here to be all dry and deadpan. This memory by itself would be enough to do that, but then knowing that Terry actually interacts with people in Trench, and that it's with Maul of all people..

It only makes it worse.

"Yeah, well, he's the absolute worst person I know." Apparently Daniel isn't holding back on the Terry Silver slander (though, is it slander when it's objectively true--) here though, since those words just slip right out, the man's tone very clipped. There's an agitated shake of his head, and Daniel watches as the younger Terry and Daniel stand near a punching bag now, Terry clearly explaining to a younger Daniel how to get away with cheating during a karate match. "He only lies to people to get them to do whatever he wants. Or to make them suffer."

"Your standards for what makes up a terrible person must be very low then," Maul said dryly. Sorry, Daniel, he was still pissed-off he'd been written off as a monster for things that hadn't mattered in months, and by someone he hadn't even done anything to.

"Sounds familiar," Maul said in response to the second half of what Daniel said. Maul had been lied to and gaslit for much of his childhood, so someone being a consummate liar didn't bother him as much as it should have. He expected that from most people, that they wouldn't tell him the truth or eventually stab him in the back until he was able to fully trust them down the line. "That's a survival mechanism for some people."

He scoffs, feeling his temper rolling in stronger than it has in a while. Not that Daniel still doesn't do his best to fight against it - thinking about everything mister Miyagi taught him, breathing, focusing, centering himself, even though he hasn't always managed to live up to it - but it's hard, his hands balling up into fists at his sides.

"Are you just here to make light of all of this?"

Granted, given what Daniel knows about Maul, and given the fact he now knows that the other is familiar with Terry - maybe he shouldn't be surprised by the other saying that. Almost implying Terry isn't such a terrible person, or that it could be a survival mechanism for him.

Bullshit. No survival mechanism is worth hurting other people over.

And Terry had. Hell, he continues to do so to this day.

"In that case I'd rather have you stay quiet so we can get through this memory and then out of here already."

"I'm not one much to feel sorry for other people or commiserate with what they've had to go through." Lack of empathy was one of Maul's biggest and greatest flaws, one he'd been trying to work on with very limited success.

"If that's what you want, alright then," Maul said in an oddly stiff and formal manner, the words a little clipped. It wasn't easy to tell but he was doing so in an attempt to bite back anything else he very much wanted to say to the man he disliked so much. His attention turned back towards the memory instead, not so much as even looking at the older Daniel anymore.

Daniel bites down a comment. No, getting into an argument will just make things worse here, he knows it. And what would it do, anyway? It's not like Daniel is seriously thinking Maul will listen to him even for a moment, so he'd just be wasting his breath and making this moment even worse to get through.

Just getting through this memory by itself is hard enough. He feels nauseous watching it, even now, as Terry leads the younger Daniel over to a rather odd sort of construction - a weird training dummy, but all of its limbs made out of solid wood, the plank where the dummy's 'head' would be covered up by a poster of a different teenage boy, the lettering on it reading 'karate's bad boy - Mike Barnes.'

Guided by Terry to start punching it, the younger Daniel pulls back his fist, starting to hit the dummy's 'head' - or rather, bashing his hand directly against solid wood. And not just once. He keeps doing it at Terry's guidance, even as the facial expression on Daniel changes into a wince, the boy in obvious pain.

"Visualize! This is not just a bunch of sticks and pipes anymore! It's a living, breathing fighting machine that wants to detach your head from the rest of your body!" Terry says, his voice getting more intense with each word - until, at that last word, Daniel has been hitting the board so hard and often that there's blood all over it, and all over Daniel's hand as well, knuckles having been burst open from the force. Daniel stops punching, in even more pain now, shaking his hand as if that might get rid of the pain.

Terry steps closer, grabbing a hold of the boy's wrist, lifting the hand up between them while he stares down at the blood on the hand almost hungrily.

"It's blood," he says, to which the younger Daniel nods, a faint 'yeah' that's more breath than an actual answer, the boy panting and shivering. His gaze raises to meet Terry's, looking every inch like an animal caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck, unable to look away. "So what? Make believe it's his," Terry adds.

Then the man leans in closer, mere inches away from the younger Daniel's face, as he continues, basically shouting at this point: "This guy wants to break you, humiliate you, stomp you into the ground! Now what are you gonna do about it?!"

That seems to fire up the young boy, and he scowls as he approaches the wooden dummy once more, breaking the wooden legs with a kick, and then the torso and head with punches.

Maul watched the scene without saying anything else, just taking it all in. He could see why Daniel wouldn't look back on this moment with any pleasure. He was weak in addition to being judgmental. The weak couldn't handle training such as this.

But for Maul?

This was all too familiar territory. He'd been trained in such a brutal manner from the time he was a child, both by his master and at a school later on called Orsis Academy, a place where they trained children on how to become cold-blooded assassins, bounty-hunters, and mercenaries as adults. He'd become inoculated to such methods after the experiences he'd had throughout his life, so he honestly didn't see how wrong this whole scenario was.

He turned back towards the older Daniel, looking at him with a judgmental expression on his face. "Are we done here?"

Daniel has to look away by the time the figures in the memory start celebrating this. Like it's a good thing. It makes his stomach turn to remember how the other man had twisted his mind, to a point where Daniel briefly believed it was a good thing to do this every single day for training. To constantly hurt himself, come home with those injuries, and lie about it to mister Miyagi - because of some mistaken belief that this was the only way for him to survive.

It makes him feel awful, emotions mixing together in his gut, but all of them just as negative and painful as the next one.

He doesn't know if he could see more of it, so technically he's thinking the exact same thing as Maul is when Daniel sees a white stag standing by the dojo's exit, symbolizing the end of the memory.

At least it's one relief in the middle of all this. Facing such an awful memory, and then having the worst possible person seeing it alongside him. Maul, who wouldn't understand, who's a murderous psychopath, who knows Terry Silver as if Terry Silver is a man you can know, rather than a snake that poisons everything around it.

"Yes," Daniel says, not bothering to hide his curt tone, or the way he glares at Maul. Instead he just quickly paces over in the direction of the stag, and the moment it touches Daniel, the memory ends - both of the men returned to where they had been before any of this began.

(closed) december catchall

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cw: internalized victim blaming

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cw: mental child abuse mention

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cw: blood, manipulation/intimidation of a child by an adult, mention of decapitation

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