ange "the definition of chuunibyou" ushiromiya (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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deercountry2022-12-07 09:20 pm
entreats) wrote in deercountry2022-12-07 09:20 pm
(closed) december catchall
Who: Ange (entreats), Chizuru (tealeafs), Daniel (miyagimagic) and various others.
What: December shenanigans.
When: During all of December.
Where: Locations vary.
Content Warnings: Bullying, (mild) violence, will edit to add more later.
( starters in the comments! if you want to plot anything with me, feel free to either pm the journal or contact me at![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
queeningsquare, i'm always open to new ideas and threads! )
entreats), Chizuru (tealeafs), Daniel (miyagimagic) and various others.What: December shenanigans.
When: During all of December.
Where: Locations vary.
Content Warnings: Bullying, (mild) violence, will edit to add more later.
( starters in the comments! if you want to plot anything with me, feel free to either pm the journal or contact me at
no subject
Daniel searches in her eyes, and he finds everything he's so familiar with. Not just Amanda's scent, or the feeling of her body so close to his own, but also that look in her eyes. This is just a memory, and by all accounts it shouldn't feel so real and perfect, but it does.
And all the things he could say--
That he's not really here right now, or that he won't be here for long.
That he's not sure whether it'll really be okay, if things will ever go back to normal, that every single day he's only reminded more of what he's lost.
-- they melt on his tongue.
There's no use in saying them now. This Amanda won't remember, only a construct of memory, of longing. It'd just be like plunging a sword into his own heart for no discernable reason.
Isn't this about balance too? There's all the things weighing him down, but there's also the fact that, even if it's just in this moment, for a moment until he has to return with Robby, he's here with his wife. Balance is also about savouring this, remembering this.
His hand travels up, into her hair, treasuring the familiar feeling of this. He manages to smile - thinly, but not dishonest in any way - before leaning in to press his lips against her own, and for a moment it almost makes things feel normal for once.
Daniel pulls away to speak after a moment, but lingers close, almost murmuring against her lips, like he's afraid losing that proximity will make this memory pop like a soap bubble, when it already feels so fragile to begin with.
"If anyone could make me believe that, it's you."
no subject
It's what years of marriage has allowed, this level of devotion. The soft touch of her fingers against his scalp, her hand brushing along his jaw to cup in the space under his ear.
She pulls away softly, just so they look at each other again eye to eye. Lips still only a breath away, distance intimate.
"I know it's true, because the moment me or our children show up, you'll be ready to take us in. You have to be the one to do that, and you have to be the one to look after the kids you've taken on. That's your responsibility, even when it gets hard. And I know it's hard--"
But maybe this is more than just a memory of a time far gone, more than a time past influencing Amanda now. The conviction in her that refuses her husband to ignore what she's saying, and eyes that will follow him should he think to look away.
"But we have been through too much to ever quit. You know I love you, wherever you are--so however hard it gets, I need you to remember that. And don't forget to take care of yourself, too."
She strokes the side of his head with the last of those words, the only moment she briefly looks away to the side of his face, but soon looks back.
"Will you do that for me?"
no subject
There's no one quite like her who can pierce through to the matter of things so easily. Who can take a look at him, and then immediately see right through Daniel, like his worries are hanging over his head like a cloud rather than buried somewhere deep within his soul.
He knew he wasn't ready though. Not for the Amanda from his memories, saying everything he wanted to hear. Daniel knew he wasn't ready for this when Robby suggested the idea of trying to see this part of the dealership, and he's only proven right in this moment. It feels like his heart is about to crumble. Not necessarily in a bad way, but-- not necessarily in a good one, either.
Daniel swallows.
His throat feels thick, and he can feel water involuntarily starting to gather in his eyes.
"I will," he promises.
(Circumstances notwithstanding.
.. Daniel's tendencies notwithstanding.)
"I just.." His voice trails off for a moment, maybe exactly because it's so hard to talk when there's so much emotion, but at least Daniel is trying to be honest with his feelings here. No matter whether it's because it's inconsequential in the long run, or if it is because it feels like this is the one shot he's going to have for it. ".. I'm still going to miss you."
His voice is soft, almost making him sound a little younger than his years. He moves a hand so it's on her cheek, just to feel the familiar warm and soft skin there.
"Nothing's the same without you." Especially his bed. It's been months and he's still not used to it. He doesn't think he's ever going to. "I hope we can see each other again soon."
Even though it's random. Even though it might be impossible. If Daniel doesn't at least keep that hope alive in his heart - then how is he going to drag himself through everything else? How is he going to live up to the things he's promising her here?
no subject
"I hope so, too," she echoes him; and she doesn't need to speak about the chance of it, how out of control it is, how there is no control. But she can speak love with a single look, provide this amount of comfort here and now. This what they have, and can manage.
Even if it's a moment made from memories, an illusion born from magic and Daniel's mind. And whether this is a cruel magic or considerate may depend on how Daniel feels at the time, now, or when he thinks back on it. But it grants him what might be granted as compassion as Amanda says, her hand wrapped around Daniel rubbing his back:
"We have right now. It's not the first place I'd pick to spend time with my husband before he's whisked back to a monster-infested movie setting--" said, with her eyes examining the office space around them, "--but I know you have until you leave the building. And we both know Robby won't interrupt us 'til you're ready."
It might be eerie, break the illusion of whatever shred of authenticity this Amanda has by being aware, but it's the same offer of something private for Daniel to take with him, to help keep him going with those emotions fragile in his heart. They can stay like this a while longer, holding each other; they could speak, make plans, have a heart-to-heart.
...or Daniel could choose to leave now. Whatever the case, how ever long Daniel takes, Amanda isn't wrong about Robby.
Because he's sitting outside the dealership, seemingly his younger self if viewed from inside the building; but actually back to his slightly older frame, his Trench clothing, and a deer waiting with him.
And he'll give the pair as much time as they need.
no subject
Still, Daniel does end up lingering for a while. To talk with Amanda, to kiss her, to commit the feeling of her body and her words and her dry sense of humor and her sweetness to memory all over again, until he's confident enough that he's got it that he leaves.
.. even if he has to force tearing himself away from it.
It means that it takes a little while before Daniel exits the dealership, looking like his regular Trench self once more when he passes through the door. Daniel takes a glance at the deer, but it's the boy he touches instead, putting a light hand on Robby's shoulder.
"Thank you for waiting," he says first, ever careful to take Robby's feelings into account, and wanting to show his appreciation for the other's idea and the other's patience.
It easily shows anyway that this moment didn't leave Daniel unaffected. His voice sounds just a little bit off, a little thick with emotion, and the same sentiment is reflected in his eyes even now. It hadn't been easy to drag himself away from this memory, after all, but he also knows he can't stay here forever. There's kids waiting for him. Robby is waiting for him. That's where Daniel is needed right now.
"Sorry that I took a little while."
no subject
But let it be a nice one, before he breaches the way into reality--where Robby waits, fiddling with the threading of his pants until he hears the door. He looks up in time for the hand that touches him, sees the eyes slightly fogged with moisture, and offers the apology a pull of a smile.
"It's okay," he says non-committally, soft, and finally standing onto his feet with a lift. He glances at Mister LaRusso, but doesn't think to keep his gaze on him with the signs of emotion about him; he won't ask for the same reason. He knows. He doesn't need to.
This isn't Robby's business.
"Ready?" Is the last he'll ask. There's nothing to hold Robby back here, but maybe Mister LaRusso would like one last look at his dealership before they walk.
But Robby will be ready to go when he is. Just give the word.
no subject
They should go.
And so they do. Just like any other memory Daniel has found himself in, it's the same thing all over again - one moment you're in the memory, and then you're back. Daniel finds himself over at his own place, thankfully enough, because he needs the momentary privacy. There's so much emotion still in his chest, barely held back, and it's now he's alone that it all spills over. It's something he'd feel bad about doing even in front of an Amanda who's little more than a memory, or in front of Robby.
So it's only when he's sure that the place is entirely still - not even any kids practicing out in the dojo - that Daniel finally lets go of what was holding him back a moment ago, feeling the tears spill down his cheeks. It's not even necessarily a bad thing, it's just-- just a bittersweet thing.
It feels like letting go of something important all over again. His father, mister Miyagi, now his family--
It's only a few moments later when he's pretty sure his emotional tank is empty and his eyes are wiped on the back of his hand that Daniel grabs his Omni to fire off a text to Robby, not forgetting about the boy despite all the emotion.
Are you okay?
Just making sure.
no subject
He's a family man, missing his family. Robby's sure that's what it all has to do with. Turns out it can be just as painful to have the dream family life as it can be good.
So he returns to what he was doing before interruptions of Winter Mournings, which he'd like to discuss with Tory about not doing next year. There was a shopping trip into town he wanted to take, which means putting on all the layers for the weather, and gloves not meant for texting. But that won't stop Robby when he feels his omni buzz, and a five-second try to push buttons leads to one glove coming off.
hey. im okay
you?
Robby doesn't expect honesty, but that's okay. He's got something he wants to ask anyway.
no subject
.. maybe a little less glad to see the question that follows it. But then again, perhaps that part also isn't unexpected.
Daniel sucks in a breath, still faintly shaky, and then allows his body to drop down on the couch as he texts back.
Me too.
Maybe not an entirely truthful text, but what else is he supposed to say? Even more so in front of a kid he wants to be strong for. Even more so when Daniel doesn't want to burden another living soul with his own problems.
And it's so easy to do it when you can hide behind text.
Just glad we made it out of there okay. Or, you know, that there was an easy chance at doing that in the first place. No terrifying threat to face for once. If there was a relief in all of that, it's that fact.
no subject
All he can do is hope it did his sensei some good, even if his heart might feel like a mixed bag of emotions, right now. But Robby would've probably been the same, seeing his mom. (And he refuses to, and that's okay--because nothing he can do or say will mean anything unless it's really her.
...or so he's happy to tell himself.)
So, for now:
yeah
mob saw when you came over when my mom skipped town
i didnt see it
and i got stuck in a memory with paul. that was awkward
but he made it change into the skateboard park
He's going on for Mister LaRusso's benefit, really. Does it help? Maybe it can, a tiny bit. Distract him, or something.
we should ask for better memories next time
no subject
For example - the fact that his texts arrive a little more slowly than they usually do. It's nothing too exaggerated, but there's a pause each time that usually isn't there - Daniel may be old, but not exactly a slow as hell texter - like he has to think about his words before writing and sending a message to Robby in return.
But at least he is texting back, rather than brushing the teenager off or trying to end the conversation.
(Maybe Daniel can see what Robby is trying to do here too, or even if he doesn't, maybe it's just that he appreciates talking in this moment anyway, rather than allowing himself to wallow in his misery all alone.)
This one wasn't so bad, was it?
Especially when Daniel can certainly think of worse Robby moments to see.. Or worse Robby moments others could have seen. He feels faintly guilty that Mob got to see a memory where Daniel was so good to Robby, when he knows there's memories when he was so awful to the kid instead.
You did something good back there. And you never even told me.
no subject
we stole a lot of stuff
i wasnt innocent
Which he isn't proud of, and doesn't share with pride--but he was saving his own behind too, and he's not going to play it off as if he wasn't. There's no way Mister or Misses LaRusso would have kept employed a kid who got snitched in by his ex-con friends who stole from other businesses and establishments. Why would they? Especially if they found out then he wasn't as old as he pretended to be.
Especially if they found out about everything.
i was happy just doing karate
i got a lot of good out of it
Which he's said plenty of times by now, Robby's sure, but maybe he's stalling for himself. There's something more meaningful he'd like to say, or give--something to leave Mister LaRusso with than this bittersweetness that tastes more wistful than sweet.
His fingers hover over the letters.
hey
did u want to come over for dinner
tory wouldnt mind
or ill come see u?
A pause.
u can tell me if u want some company
its ok
no subject
Technically they're easy. Daniel knows what he wants, and deep down, it's to not be alone, especially right now. It's a reality that's been hitting him hard ever finding himself in Trench. No matter how busy of a day you have helping the kids in the dojo, or going out drinking with a friend afterwards, or even sharing a meal with someone - it only makes the contrast even more clear when everyone is gone, and the house is empty. No wife to sleep next to, no kids to dote on. Not even his mother and mister Miyagi waiting for him at all times, as they had for many years. It's just him, and it's hard. It's something Daniel doesn't know how to deal well with, even when he invents coping methods for everything else. No amount of balance is going to help a hole in your very soul.
And yet it's hard to type up a reply. It's hard to even say 'yes.' It feels like he shouldn't. Robby shouldn't have to concern himself with him, it should just be the other way around, because Daniel is the adult here. He doesn't want a boy to have to worry over a much older man, missing his family. (Drinking while looking at the portrait of his wife, Daniel tucking mister Miyagi into bed.)
...
A good few minutes pass before a reply of any kind arrives.
Can you come over?
no subject
Robby watched his omni a while before that message came through, right about as he'd slipped it into his pocket instead. His own reply is quicker, shorter, and he doesn't need to ask and say anything else. It'll be in his back-pocket in case Mister LaRusso sends another message, but he doubts it.
From the boy who often goes 'okay' at anything too revealing, he doesn't need much else.
There won't be a knock on Mister LaRusso's door when Robby arrives. There will be the sound of it opening, closing, a few footsteps and rustling. Robby's omen only appears when he does, keeping by his feet; and Robby won't be coming to sit down immediately, but just to figure out where it is Mister LaRusso is. Wearing a smile that might be a little too much, an energy joining it, or just what helps to mask the low energy Mister LaRusso's always trying to keep concealed.
"Hey. So, I've got cocoa, marshmallows for the cocoa, and marshmallows for snacking. You wanna pick the movie, or me?"
This doing it for you, Mister LaRusso? Of course, if there's a concerning sight, then it's unlikely Robby will get that far at all. But he's willing to do some heavy lifting here.
For a sensei.
no subject
No, the boy can just find Daniel sitting on the couch. The reason Daniel's Omen didn't come to greet the boy enthusiastically the way it usually does is that the creature is instead laying on Daniel's lap, still in its usual more puppy-like form, but seeming to have grown a little in size to accomodate some snuggling here. Daniel's hand is buried in the fluffy fur, even as he looks up at Robby after the boy enters and speaks up.
".. you came prepared."
It's clear that Daniel isn't fully being his usual self. The energy that hangs around him is a little low, even as he tries to faintly smile at Robby, and there's something off about his eyes. They can't exactly be red when Daniel doesn't have red blood anymore, but there's a faint puffiness to them that definitely suggests the man has cried, even though there's no sign of water in his eyes at the moment.
There's a kind of sadness that has settled into the man's features though - one that he can't neatly tuck away the way he usually tries to, despite being in front of a kid he doesn't want to show it to.
He scoots over a little, making room for Robby on the couch as well. The Omen moves right along, shifting to get comfortable all over again in Daniel's lap, pawing at Daniel's hands until he's using said hands to pet the shisa again. (Look, he's trying to help distract the man, okay!)
"You can pick."
.. definitely not being as wordy as usually either, huh. But being wordy is dangerous when feelings threaten to spill over, especially when you're Daniel LaRusso and sometimes your brain to mouth filter is not exactly the best functioning part of your body.
no subject
There's only a single twitch of his smile at the sight of the man, one he was expecting, but still tugs at his heart. But he's dealt with worse (a mom high out of her senses, that sometimes doesn't come out of bed all day, who'll tell him all her problems of a life unfulfilled, and he'll sit there stroking her hair), so he moves easily; a "okay, just wait there" that's more suitable for a warmer house than the colder mood of the one they're in, the sound of cups heard, water put onto boil.
The tinier marshmallows will stay in the kitchen while Robby comes back in with the larger bag to dump on the coffee table. Himself, he puts right next to Mister LaRusso, not bringing attention to it. Sitting arm-to-arm, flicking through on his omni.
"My mom had stay-in nights where we'd watch her movies and eat pizza. I thought about bringing over a frozen one, but tonight sounds like a cocoa night."
He looks at Mister LaRusso, his smile warm and giving, a contrast to the man's own. But that's okay, is what such a look says; because this isn't a time for the man to do anything but sit there, and let the world exist around him. Let Robby take care of things--that world, and Mister LaRusso.
no subject
Instead he just remains there, seated, until the boy returns. Daniel doesn't shy away from the contact in the slightest, doesn't scoot over further when Robby moves to sit so close to him, just allowing the contact to happen.
Answering Robby's statement with nothing but a low hum of acknowledgement at first, Daniel's hand still idly moving through the fur of the creature on his lap.
"That doesn't sound so bad to me," he finally manages to answer a moment later. Still a little low on the energy, lacking the usual kind of supportive dad energy that drives forth the people around him, but he doesn't sound like he's lying either.
"Glad to join your mother's ranks," he adds, probably trying for a bit more of a joking angle, even if his tone doesn't quite match. But it's a genuine attempt, especially when he doesn't want the boy to feel like he has to drag the mood forth all by himself. "I know it's an elite club."
Sure, Shannon's actions have.. sometimes been far from ideal - like abandoning a kid all by himself in an apartment, for one - but it's not like Daniel is unaware of the adoration the boy still seems to hold for his mother. And Daniel also knows that she truly is trying, for Robby's sake even, and there's no way he can't view that sort of thing fondly himself.
Daniel exhales, looks around the room, and then returns his gaze to Robby. "You should probably get the fire started though. It's too cold for you."
He doesn't have it on by default - after all, it's not like Daniel needs it himself. And usually he gets it started when he knows Robby is coming over, but the after-effects of the memory have him feeling near unable to get off this couch.
"Or should I get a blanket?"
no subject
Here, Mister LaRusso, you can have his omni (he'll just sit it on Shisa's fluff, he surely won't mind) as he stands up, a few names and thumbnails showing. Working Girl, The Breakfast Club, Grease-- someone knows their 80s movies, apparently. With a couple of more modern ones, like Legally Blonde?? Catch Me If You Can? Mission Impossible??
...omni movie searches are a trip.
But maybe Daniel doesn't want to bother with that, even with the omni being left with him. Regardless, Robby will return with one of the spare blankets from storage (maybe even the same he was given the time he slept on the couch) tucked under an arm, and two cups of cocoa carefully held and brought over to sit with the marshmallows. Tinier marshmallows have already been dumped on into the drinks, and Robby scoots Mister LaRusso's drink over more his side once he no longer has a blanket in the way.
"Anything look good?" He'll ask if the omni's been moved at all, but not otherwise. He's unfolding the blanket to spread it out. ...and sorry shisa, but you know Robby's going to look at how much blanket there is, look at Mister LaRusso's lap, and decide to cover you to get the blanket over a sad old man too, right?
Because he's doing that. Goodbye, comfort omen....
no subject
Is it that most inspired way to pick a movie? No, not really, but-- with the current mood he's in, Daniel figures that anything moving at all will be a distraction enough for him, and it's not like he's an extremely picky guy to begin with.
(Not as long as it's about picking between tasteful things, anyway.)
There's a tiny pause, a moment where Daniel's gaze drops down at the blanket now draped over the both of them, before it returns to the boy.
"And, you know, I meant the blanket more for your sake.." P-Please, Robby, it's not like he can get cold. And clearly warmth is the only purpose of this thing, right. Not getting comfortable under the blanket together..
It doesn't seem to be a full on protest though, because Daniel is not moving to push the thing off him in the slightest. Maybe it's that the man actually does kind of like the idea of getting cozy here, but Daniel's natural inclination to be the one who takes care of others rather than the one being taken care of is trying hard to fight him on that one, on simply accepting all of this.
no subject
So he sets the omni in a good place to project, even if it means he has to get up. Even as he's just set the blanket across, but that's not a problem, a hum in his throat that's fond.
"I know." Yes, he hasn't forgotten your lack of temperature, Mister LaRusso, and that's the only answer he's getting about that. As Robby returns, being bolder about covering the omen and man more as he pulls up the blanket around himself, too; a glance taken at Daniel and a smile on Robby's face, before he gets more comfortable this time around by sitting all the way back.
...arm to arm by Mister LaRusso, more obvious this time. His forearm sits against their legs, Robby thinking about reaching for the man's hand in a quiet gesture of comfort, but--that's the problem with a blanket. He doesn't know where it is, and he knows better than to go groping for it.
But he can lean slightly against the man. Offer instead the feel of another's weight there with him, not alone, not a memory.
Something--and someone--real and present.
no subject
There's no way the other wouldn't have noticed what Daniel would have felt after that memory. Robby isn't dumb by any standard, and - more than anything, Daniel thinks - he's so sweetly perceptive to the feelings of those around him.
It's just a touch harder to deal with when that sentiment is suddenly turned in his direction, when Daniel tends to be so much better at the giving than the receiving end.
He can't deny he likes it though, even to himself. After everything that happened, after that incredibly bittersweet reminder of someone so important to him and the way he misses her, it's nice to not be alone. Daniel has never been good at being alone. He thrives when surrounded by the people who believe in him - the people he loves.
And Robby, a boy so close to him that he feels like a son, definitely belongs in that latter category. Especially when he's so close right now, two bodies underneath a blanket, just enjoying each other's presence and company.
The movie is probably starting to play at this point. And it's not like Daniel is completely ignoring it, since he will gladly take anything that can distract his brain from twisting itself into noodles with all the complicated thoughts about what happened today, but he also isn't ignoring the boy next to him. His student's - son's - company might be the most powerful factor of all here, after all.
So Daniel's hand is the one that moves instead. Maybe because it's easier to tell where Robby's hand is through following the pressure of the forearm, so it only takes a moment before Daniel has grabbed the other's hand, holding it in his own.
Even for Daniel - cringe dad and sappy expert - it feels a little too much to comment on it here, other than just to add (out of a sense of consideration more than anything): "Tell me if it's too cold."
He's pretty aware he must feel like a walking corpse to anyone else, after all.
no subject
Just like him and his mom watching Dirty Dancing over and over.
So Robby notices, feels the move of Mister LaRusso's hand before it takes his. There's a giddiness to it, shy; nothing dramatic, but a little indescribable. Even if Robby would've taken the man's hand himself, it's different when his sensei does it instead. Maybe it's the cold.
"You're not cold to me." --Even if he'll give Daniel an answer like that, his own fingers wrapping around his before he even speaks. Like there's no thought to it, and while the touch of him is like a cold pack to his skin and deeper, it means all the same, It's fine.
You're fine.
Robby only shifts to tilt his head slightly towards Mister LaRusso. Like an added show of comfort, to make this out to be more about what it's supposed to be.
Something ordinary, and for them.
no subject
But as it is - there's no need to jokingly call Robby a liar, or a flatterer, or anything along those lines. Maybe right now Daniel just wants to soak that compliment right up, and make it feel for himself - even if just for a few moments - like everything is normal. Like they aren't stuck in a place full of monsters, away from other people they know. Like Daniel's skin isn't absolutely frigid.
Like he doesn't have a heart that's bursting at the seams with longing, with pain, with worry.
In this moment he just feels Robby lean closer to him, and Daniel reprocicates in turn, allowing his head to slump to the side as well until it's leaning against the side of Robby's own head, still holding hands.
Nothing more has to be said. The sound of the movie idly playing in front of them is enough.
It's enough to just be in this moment with a boy Daniel has grown incredibly fond of.