deercountry | (no subject)

[really it's one of those things where upfront honesty eases mob a little. he thinks admitting to being afraid is a lot braver than acting like you aren't just to seem tough. so his shoulders droop a little and he nods.]

I don't like being near them. It's really scary to imagine we could become like that. [so maybe not as afraid of what they can do, just the reality of them. a little scared of what they can do though.]

Has- [a pause, more because he knows this might be an answer neither one of them wants to hear or say. still.] Has one of the monsters here hurt you before?

[ It's an obvious question, or should be. If Robby's come to be familiarised with anything about Mob, it's his easiness to just ask whatever's on his mind. Rather, it's not a penchant of his that Robby really focuses on, but--

But this might be the one time when he minds, pausing him, a struggle in him if to answer. Robby chews on the thought. ]

...I watched a friend nearly get eaten by one. She wasn't human, but- her skin got torn off. [ He doesn't look at Mob as he explains, doesn't exactly clarify properly what being human or not human has to do with this, but he's also just--speaking. Flatly answering than engaging. ]

After that, [ he says with a breath, ] I lost it when I saw one in the woods when I got lost out here. It had something to do my Patron [ ... ] I nearly died.

[ Those words are spoken harder, and Robby -- he starts to walk, his omen re-emerging from his gauntlets in a shadowy mass to do its scouting. But it does look at Mob, briefly--its head lowered, but something like trust being granted to the boy as it moves on ahead to watch their surroundings. ]

[well that's absolutely awful.

suddenly mob feels like he understands robby maybe a little better. it's not like he couldn't grasp not having powers in this place was scary- he does kind of know what it's like to be powerless, even if that world had monsters of a different kind. maybe what he struggled with was the fact people cared about robby, so surely that felt a little safer. they'd be there for robby, if he needed it. he'd be there for robby. maybe it wouldn't always work out that way, but surely it was something.

he hadn't really thought about robby having to watch someone else get hurt, not be able to be there for them. mob's been lucky in that regard, so many close calls with friends but they never got hurt that badly. (only ritsu once, but it's better not to think about that.) robby who came running to help him before he knew how strong mob was. the robby who still would anyway, he's pretty sure.

what a terrible thing to experience. (64%)

nearly dying isn't much better, another little spike (65%, 66%) as he pointedly pushes away the image of robby hurt at all. he glances over instead, a look to robby's omen and a little nod before his attention is all on robby, shibe watching behind them.]

And you still faced one here. [just a long pause there. heck, robby made sure mob was comfortable even.] You're really brave.

It's okay to run away though, if it's too much. Master Reigen taught me that.

I couldn't run. [ That's the core answer to situations in Miyagi-do, isn't it? If you can, then run. ] Sure, I could run now and let everyone deal with the problems, but when I can't, I'm going to be stuck. I'm never gonna get over it. At least like this, I can face them on my terms. I know there's others around if I need them.

[ ...it's still not his main reason for coming, but it's part of why he chose to engage with the beast as he had. For himself, and for Mob, because they're not so different in what they need: to face the dangers around them, so they'll be ready next time.

Robby looks over to him, a thin line for a mouth tightly pinched. ]

I don't wanna stayed scared. So I'm not running this time.

[being stuck, never getting over it. not staying scared.

after a long moment mob nods. maybe some of this conversation even plants itself in the back of his mind for later use and contemplation. there's something niggling to that, about being scared like being stuck.]

I don't want to stay scared either. I'm really glad you asked to do this, with the beast. [a pause] I don't think I would have alone.

I'm sorry you had to go through all that though.

[ It's a heavy subject on Robby, where speaking about it in the moment doesn't make him feel great. Mob calls him brave, and maybe it's nice, but there's so many feeling wrapped up in it, the reminders of what happened before.

Breathe, is also a Miyagi-do lesson. Don't let the emotion drag you down. Rise up above it. ]

It's fine. But... I want you to be prepared when this happens to you. When you can't just run, and you have to deal with danger. If you can, do, [ because that will always be good, ] but this is what balance is about, too. You can't freeze up when times get hard -- you have to push through them. You need to know when to act, and what you can do.

[mob listens, a faint furrow to his brow though he nods along. robby went through a lot to learn this, and it tracks with a lot of what mob knows already. it's good advice. once again he is pretty sure robby will be a really good sensei one day.

still...] How... do you learn when to act? When people are hurt, or you can protect them, that I think I know. But outside of that...

It's hard. Walking away could mean someone is hurt by what you left behind. Or fighting makes things go out of control, if you don't walk away. [a beat] How do you trust yourself to know, Robby?

[ Robby laughs, a single note--not really funny, not really bitter, but something inbetween. ]

You're asking the wrong guy. All I do is make the wrong calls. [ Still, Mob isn't really asking him for his experience....and maybe saying that doesn't help, but Robby looks at Mob all the same, tries to focus properly on the question. ]

Look... you're gonna make bad calls sometime. I don't know how far someone should fight here; I think that's up to the person, up to you. You need to know your limits, not just as someone who can fight or use special powers, but what you're ready to take on. You're never the only guy out there who can do something.

[ Is this the kind of worry someone with powers like Mob has to worry about? He wonders, but a thought comes to him. ]

Sensei told me you shouldn't put passion before principle. When you fight, you always fight for what you believe in, really. I've done a bad job at that--he told me that back in the Valley, but I kept a fight going here I shouldn't've because of my own feelings at the time. It turned out okay in the end, but...

[ But... ] Don't beat yourself up if you don't have the answers right away. You'll find them. [ He gestures out, back to the way you came. ]

You found out today what you can do with a beast.

That's not true. [sorry, he will not accept such blatant not truths, looking to robby candidly.] I can't think of any wrong calls you made with me. Like your gift.

[which he's wearing, tugging to show the necklace. something that has helped ease his worries often, grounding. it's proof, as far as mob's concerned.

but okay, that aside time to listen. honestly the 'you're never the only guy who can do something' is a huge relief to hear, something he's growing accustomed to. the rest seems fair, if there were easy answers to any of this surely they'd both have stumbled into them by now.]

I think I'm still figuring out what my passions and principles even are. [admitted quietly, then a little quieter still,] Or my limits.

[but he lifts head because that's true. he found something out today, didn't he?] That's true. [a beat] I thought beasts were just scary, now they feel... sad. Scary still, but-

[that's something to believe in, right? that they did the right thing here.]

[ Ah, Robby's being called out for exaggerating... well, kind of. He won't deny Mob's example, even if briefly thought the guy was going to talk about their shopping trip (look, he really changed his mind about Robby's gift-giving capabilities that day to apparently stick with a guy...).

...but it's nice as well that he's still wearing it, or thinking about it. Okay, he'll be nicer about his decisions around Mob. ]

Just take your time figuring it out. If you want to help beasts if you come across them in Trench, then there's nothing wrong with that, s'long as you don't get yourself cornered or in a bad position. If you just want to run... plenty of people run. It's not wrong, you can't say what would've happened if you stuck around or didn't.

[ He pauses, sucking in a breath. He thinks he might just end up repeating himself, so- ]

Think about it. And if you make a decision, you can tell me later.

[doubting robby's gift giving abilities truly was the greatest mistake mob has ever made, this is true. to be fair their shopping trip is up there, a time mob needed normalcy against the overwhelming changes and robby helped. he has many examples of robby's good calls he will gladly list, if asked.

there's a lot to think about now, that basically center around comfort vs capability, cowardice, the responsible use of great power. usual teen stuff.]

Okay, I will. [he says after a beat with a small smile, glancing back to where the beast had once been. then to robby, that smile fading a little.] Robby, can I ask you a favor?

[ Maybe also Robby can use that time to think more himself. There's knowing what's probably good, but then applying it in your own life... hard stuff.

But--a favour? Robby glances at Mob. ]

What's up?

[it takes a moment, because piecing together how to say this is kind of hard. even if it's a simple concept there's too much behind it mob doesn't really want to examine, and it feels so important to get this right.

so after a moment he looks to robby and asks,] If I turn into a beast can you stay far away?

[ What the fuck.

It hits Robby harder than he was expecting any question coming to, and he stops after Mob says it, once it's registered, with Robby staring back at him like he just said something so insane.

And yet--and yet Robby knows it's been a fear of Mob's, but it doesn't make the request any easier for him. He's left speechless despite what he knows what he wants to say, stuttering on actually getting his feet moving again. He thinks he's going to turn into a beast, when that won't happen, it's not going to happen, Robby won't let it happen. ]

No. [ He'll say it staring at the younger teen, glaring almost; defiant in what he's being asked, at any of it. ] People come down from corruption from being around people they know, and warmblood can help. If anyone can help you when that happens, it'll be me. I'm not letting anyone hurt you.

[ And the defiance in his tone only grows, a hand at Robby's chest. Is anything he said useful for beasthood? Fuck if that matters right about now. ]

[mob slows to a stop when robby does, looking over with a little confusion. what did mob expect exactly? hard to say, he didn't really think that far ahead. he was aware robby would probably try to help him even if it was dangerous, even if he was dangerous, so maybe he sort of knew robby wouldn't be okay with staying back.

it's complicated, it always is. mob doesn't understand how dangerous this place is, hasn't seen it the way robby has. but robby doesn't know how dangerous mob could be, what he can do. what he has done. (72%)]

But... that's corruption. What about being a beast? [he asks. the fact robby cares so much makes his chest tight. (73%)] I'd hurt you.

Then I'll find what makes people come back from being a beast! [ He hands come out, gesturing with his words, the incredulous stubbornness that colours them. ] We come back from being beasts easier--I'll ask, I'll do what I have to, whatever--but I'm not letting anyone cut you down like-- some other monster.

[ He struggles to find the words, but isn't that it? The fact someone could find Mob like that and not care, or care, but not have the power to bring Mob back. And Robby doesn't, but-- but-- ]

I know warmblood works. I donate it, I know it works. [ It's what he always hears, the single good thing about his blood anyone really cares about, and Robby points outward as he goes on. ] And if you think I can stay back if you're out there like that?

[ The hand balls into a fist that Robby lets drop, and he pauses unintentionally, staring at Mob with a complicated expression. ]

I'm not letting anyone do anything to you.

[ 'I'm not letting anyone kill you,' is what he means. ]

[mob's at a loss for a moment, torn between understanding and a stubbornness of his own. the fact robby is so intent on this is- it makes him feel better despite himself. not in the idea that there's some magic solution robby could come up with, or that things will turn out well, but once again robby shows how much he wants to have his back. how much he does have his back.

robby seems to care so much about this and mob understands that, just the desperate need to keep someone you care about safe even if there doesn't seem to be any options for doing so. that it's turned so resolutely on him? another showing of how he isn't alone here. robby's a really good guy.

maybe that's the problem. robby's a good guy and mob doesn't know what he'd do if robby got hurt. if robby got hurt because of him. he doesn't think robby really understands yet just how dangerous mob could be, the kind that even had his own little brother live in terror for years. years mob didn't realize, because he and ritsu didn't communicate properly. they've been better and-

he needed to be better. he needed to try harder this time.]

It's just- even back home, when I lost control- [74%] I don't remember what happened. I um, I'd wake up and a school was destroyed. Or people were hurt. [75%] Ritsu was hurt.

I know... I know you understand this place better than me. And you're good at solving things, and helping people. I know you've been through a lot, I just- [his tone goes very quiet then, staring down at his feet.] I don't want to hurt you. Ever. I'm... really scared of that.

[ Robby hates that Mob's reasoning makes sense. Throw in a destroyed school alone, and that can do wonders for spelling out the gravity of the situation; paints a larger picture for how many people can be, even if a single family member hurt can do more. It cools the initial heat, because Robby isn't dumb: he knows he can't match up to those levels of destruction. He's been aware of the danger of Mob's explosions before, but--

But it leaves him standing, frustrated with the amount of power he has, uselessly low. An internal fight going on in him for words he doesn't know how to articulate, though his mouth opens and closes once or twice.

He doesn't want that to be the only answer. He doesn't want this to be the only way. ]

Will you let me help to find a way to help you? [ Robby finally says, softer spoken, if still tender around the edges. ] I don't want to accept there's nothing we can do, or we just plan for me to stay away and that's it. There has to be more-- because I don't want to think about you dealing with that alone.

[ That's the strongest reason most of all, the reason that Robby's tried to there for Mob so much already--because he's never wanted Mob to have to face all this by himself. When he already doesn't have his family, anything familiar, and how lonely must that be? Mob isn't him. He hasn't had family never around, or a family that comes and goes.

...and he doesn't have friends from there here, either. He's got a lot of shit, but he still had people he liked, and people who knew him back home. ]

We can look into it when we get back to the city, [ he goes on. ] We'll find out how people bring sleepers back from that, see if there's any safeguards. Find out everything we can.

[ He's rubbing his fingers together, knowing this next part won't help, probably, but... ]

...and I won't blame you if you hurt me 'cause you lost control. I've been sticking with you this long: I know there's a risk.

[ He huffs, a small glance down before he looks back. ] But I'd rather take my chances than back out now.

[frankly if mob hadn't already exploded with gratitude once he might have now. instead the feeling at least is familiar enough it's easier to process without it tipping the scale, just curling around his chest. even calms him just a little (73%) because he's being listened to, offered a hand.

a few of the trees nearby bud just a little with new leaves despite it as he nods to robby's offer.]

I don't want to burden you. [he's willing to admit.] I feel like I do a lot. But... I think I need the help. I keep- keep thinking of what could happen if things go bad.

I think that's part of why I wanted to come here. To see if there are places far away from everyone. [another careful admittance. it's not like he wanted to isolate himself like a hermit but knowing there was a place he could go where less people could get hurt, that meant something, right? it wasn't even a fully formed thought until now, a buried inkling.

honestly the last of it hits him like a gut punch (82%), that robby wouldn't blame him. his eyes feel a bit hot, stinging, and a swirl of mixed emotions get swallowed down deep again. his voice is very small but sincere when he says,] Thanks Robby. I'm really glad I met you, even if it was like this.

[ That's part of why I wanted to come here. That...kinda makes sense than a random curiosity; maybe not so random, but for a guy who's wanted to keep away from danger going through a beast-infested forest to another highly likely danger zone?

The fact of the reasoning sits with Robby more than if it was a good idea or not. He was hoping that maybe Mob had been feeling better about him, but it hasn't been that long, has it? And he's hardly a shining sample of letting shit go.

He gives Mob a sad, tight smile. ]

Same at'cha. [ A tiny huff, and he glances around them. ] You know, I didn't argue about you coming out here, 'cause I figured it would've been better for you to be around people when you saw how this place can be. And I'd be here to help out--'cause I said I would.

[ After all: ] If I didn't want to, I wouldn't. But you're a fun guy.

[ In his own way. ]

I'm fun? [this is very new to him. he's pretty used to being considered boring or forgettable when you know, dramatic psychic nonsense isn't happening. and that isn't fun exactly.

fun, huh? he has a tiny smile about that. who would have thought he could be fun?

but there's more than that to consider. robby really did keep his word.] I think I have a better idea of what things are like here now. The forests were a lot.

[even if it went well it was something to finally see beasts in action, the precautions people had to take.] I doubt I get it fully though, but I promise I'll take everything seriously.

[ Fun, Mob. Even Robby can figure why that's maybe a surprising thing to hear from someone, but he just smiles at Mob as he repeats him. Yup, fun--partially because of his powers, but mostly that mild, mild personality of his.

That's kind of what makes the powers fun, too.

His smile eases some as Mob goes on, but the warmth doesn't entirely leave him. ]

Me or Mister LaRusso can't prepare you for everything, but the more you learn before something big happens, the better you'll be ready. [ He walks over, pats the back of his shoulder. ] When that happens, remember everything you've learned. And to breathe.

[ ...he doesn't know if it'll help, but Robby hopes to god it does. ]

[robby gets a tiny smile. well, maybe the matter of how dangerous he could be wasn't settled but it probably never would fully be. a matter he'll avoid for now, because at least he was heard.

and everyone was making it through, struggling in their own ways.]

Do you think we'll always have to fight to survive like this? [he does ask after a beat. even back home it kept happening. a normal life seemed increasingly impossible.]

[ Hmrr, what a question. ]

Unless something big changes, [ Robby answers after a pause. ] Beasts have been around forever, or a long time; and there's the corruption and pollution, too. If there was something that could stop people changing, then-- that'd help, but...

[ But was that bound to happen in their lifetimes? Robby was doubtful. ...they'd probably end up back in the sea before then. ]

Best you can do is try and keep out of the way where you think it'll be dangerous. It's not always gonna work, but it's something. [ A beat, and optimistically??: ] At least incense isn't rare?

All the weird stuff too. Like zombies, or santa. [santa especially. he tries not to think of santa. (85%) ] At least the beasts make some sense. Like cursed energy or angry spirits.

[the rest? he's not sure there's any sense to that.]

That's true, and people are always helpful. [things could be so much worse, regardless of how wild everything was.]

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cw: gore-ish details to an android

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