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for anna and kaine. also this takes place after the battler+beatrice one
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wingstosee
2022-12-14 02:56 am (UTC)(link)
[ the sun has already set; venus has been out all day. his radio is silent, a pile of wire and crystal resting on the dining room table. the room is quiet, leaving anna and kainé to their own devices.
and then there is a flare of light, a burst of static, and the radio screams to life. a siren echoes out from it, haunting and high - an unearthly wail more familiar than either of its inhabitants might want to admit. the sound chokes, tunes, strengthens and dissipates at random until finally-
finally-
the signal clears, and venus's voice echoes out throughout the apartment. she is crying, sobbing, hiccuping as her voice catches in her throat. she chokes out words without thought, quiet words that echo throughout the room: ]
[ the voice builds, layering over one another as it grows stronger and clearer, until it's almost painful-
until that wail grates at the nerves, until the pitch it hits is the exact sort of miserable to drag along your spine-
until there's a rustling at the door, the sound of a key fumbling at a lock, and a sobbing venus bursts into the room.
his cheeks are blotchy and red, a terrible swelling from where he's been rubbing at them. his eyes are bloodshot, thin capillaries of red breaking into that beautiful cyan. he is done up like a porcelain doll, beautiful in its own way: lined eyes and smeared mascara and a deep red across his lips, a black and gold dress that only serves to highlight the pale skin that still shows. and across his right arm - her right arm? - a jagged crack runs deep, with a brilliant light shining through.
it's a mess. venus is a mess. and it's beautiful, in its own way - venus is beautiful, like this. ]
and then there is a flare of light, a burst of static, and the radio screams to life. a siren echoes out from it, haunting and high - an unearthly wail more familiar than either of its inhabitants might want to admit. the sound chokes, tunes, strengthens and dissipates at random until finally-
finally-
the signal clears, and venus's voice echoes out throughout the apartment. she is crying, sobbing, hiccuping as her voice catches in her throat. she chokes out words without thought, quiet words that echo throughout the room: ]
i'm sorry, i'm sorry,
i messed up,please forgive me,
i'm so, so sorry,please don't hate me-
[ the voice builds, layering over one another as it grows stronger and clearer, until it's almost painful-
until that wail grates at the nerves, until the pitch it hits is the exact sort of miserable to drag along your spine-
until there's a rustling at the door, the sound of a key fumbling at a lock, and a sobbing venus bursts into the room.
his cheeks are blotchy and red, a terrible swelling from where he's been rubbing at them. his eyes are bloodshot, thin capillaries of red breaking into that beautiful cyan. he is done up like a porcelain doll, beautiful in its own way: lined eyes and smeared mascara and a deep red across his lips, a black and gold dress that only serves to highlight the pale skin that still shows. and across his right arm - her right arm? - a jagged crack runs deep, with a brilliant light shining through.
it's a mess. venus is a mess. and it's beautiful, in its own way - venus is beautiful, like this. ]
[ beatrice's bullying has taken on a new meaning, in this place. it's like neptune's insults, practically: acerbic, and sharp, and so dripping with tar that they couldn't have been made without some degree of love behind them. maybe that's why venus continues to seek her out, even when the woman's main joy is humiliating him like this. maybe that's why, even now - in a black and gold dress of the golden witch's creation, sitting on a cushion as her magicked tools draw liner and foundation onto his skin - he can't make himself care too much.
he gets to spend time with her like this, after all. and that's something... that he thinks he likes.
he can't see himself like this - no mirrors, beatrice had insisted, something about weakening her magic that he'd been all too happy to oblige. and as patient as he might be, he's still venus. he's easily distracted, with a mind that tends to wander. so as beatrice floats before him, he speaks without fully thinking it through: ]
Um. Miss Beato? [ it still feels weird, trying to call her by a nickname - even one she'd demanded of him. ] Is it alright if I ask something about your magic?
he gets to spend time with her like this, after all. and that's something... that he thinks he likes.
he can't see himself like this - no mirrors, beatrice had insisted, something about weakening her magic that he'd been all too happy to oblige. and as patient as he might be, he's still venus. he's easily distracted, with a mind that tends to wander. so as beatrice floats before him, he speaks without fully thinking it through: ]
Um. Miss Beato? [ it still feels weird, trying to call her by a nickname - even one she'd demanded of him. ] Is it alright if I ask something about your magic?
[ Beatrice hasn't been able to decide if this is kind or cruel yet, even after having had Venus essentially under her thumb for weeks at this point. He never put up more than a token protest which almost always led to a clumsy apology shortly after. It was dull, really. There has to be some fire or backbone in there. Beato just knew it.
Part of her hopes he'd fight back, as much fun as it was to see him meekly acquiesce. There had to be a flash of spine in there somewhere.
The thing that made her feel such an odd little sense of kinship with the poor unhappy boy. ]
Hmm? About my magic? What would you like to know? I can't promise to reveal anything of course. Witches list have their secrets~. Kihihi!
[ One of the brushes delicately applies another careful swipe of foundation as she speaks. Soon enough it would be time for the next application: blush, lipstick, perhaps mascara... ]
Part of her hopes he'd fight back, as much fun as it was to see him meekly acquiesce. There had to be a flash of spine in there somewhere.
The thing that made her feel such an odd little sense of kinship with the poor unhappy boy. ]
Hmm? About my magic? What would you like to know? I can't promise to reveal anything of course. Witches list have their secrets~. Kihihi!
[ One of the brushes delicately applies another careful swipe of foundation as she speaks. Soon enough it would be time for the next application: blush, lipstick, perhaps mascara... ]
[anna's running scales when she hears the signal come through. for a moment, it's almost nostalgic. remember when you could tell when you were getting a call because your speakers would go on the fritz? but she hears a very familiar voice coming through and the nostalgia wanes immediately. she sets her bass down next to her and walks over to the radio. tilts her head. is this how the radios are supposed to work? because this is the most normal thing it's done so far.]
[she turns her head after examining the radio for longer than she'd prefer, and she can hear someone trying to get in, and she realizes it must be venus. she walks closer to the door, ready to comfort him because that's exactly the kind of thing that it feels like she'll have to do—]
[and then she sees him.]
[he makes a good girl, she thinks, but he's clearly not on the same page. there's light coming through, like he's breaking apart, and that's the thing that draws anna's attention more than the makeup, the clothes, the tears.]
K? [she calls further into their shared house.] K, grab some bandages or something. It's Venus. [and she approaches him and her attention is fully on him now and she is looking.]
What happened? Does it hurt? [a pause. she considers calling attention to the rest, but she puts it into the back of her mind; she needs to take care of something more pressing first.] Who did this to you?
[she turns her head after examining the radio for longer than she'd prefer, and she can hear someone trying to get in, and she realizes it must be venus. she walks closer to the door, ready to comfort him because that's exactly the kind of thing that it feels like she'll have to do—]
[and then she sees him.]
[he makes a good girl, she thinks, but he's clearly not on the same page. there's light coming through, like he's breaking apart, and that's the thing that draws anna's attention more than the makeup, the clothes, the tears.]
K? [she calls further into their shared house.] K, grab some bandages or something. It's Venus. [and she approaches him and her attention is fully on him now and she is looking.]
What happened? Does it hurt? [a pause. she considers calling attention to the rest, but she puts it into the back of her mind; she needs to take care of something more pressing first.] Who did this to you?
[ Kainé had been in the kitchen, her turn to wash the dishes, listening to Anna practice as she scrubs out the stewpot. Almost as close as it comes to paradise for her. The wailing and sobbing from the radio shakes her out of that moment of peace. She recognizes the voice immediately, and she recognizes that this something a lot more serious than just, some wave of spooky jesus static or whatever the fuck that stuff is.
She's halfway toward the door herself when she hears Anna call after her, and she turns right around. Things might have gotten... complicated with Venus last month, in a way they never had a chance to address, but there's not a moment's hesitation for her to help a friend who needs her.
So it doesn't take very long for Kainé to hurry back to the door, her mouth a grim line, carrying a roll of bandages. Her expression changes immediately when she sees him (her?), cracking at the seams, light shining through, beautiful and sad, all done up like a doll that's been left out in a typhoon. ]
Holy shit. Venus, will it break if I wrap this around it? [ The light is so beautiful, she doesn't want it to go away. But it wouldn't be great if she lost an arm, either. ]
She's halfway toward the door herself when she hears Anna call after her, and she turns right around. Things might have gotten... complicated with Venus last month, in a way they never had a chance to address, but there's not a moment's hesitation for her to help a friend who needs her.
So it doesn't take very long for Kainé to hurry back to the door, her mouth a grim line, carrying a roll of bandages. Her expression changes immediately when she sees him (her?), cracking at the seams, light shining through, beautiful and sad, all done up like a doll that's been left out in a typhoon. ]
Holy shit. Venus, will it break if I wrap this around it? [ The light is so beautiful, she doesn't want it to go away. But it wouldn't be great if she lost an arm, either. ]
It- it doesn't hurt. [ it really, really doesn't. it's more comfortable than anything else. that's the whole problem, really. he wipes at his eyes with his wrists, leaving smudged trails of blue and black behind. ] It's not going to hurt. Maybe if- maybe if I was a good person it'd hurt more? But I'm not, and it won't.
[ it probably sounds like nonsense. but to him, it's the most sensible thing he's said this whole time. of course it doesn't hurt. he wanted this all along, didn't he? and now the time has come, and he's scared and afraid and ready to put it back-
-but at the same time, he can't bear the idea of putting himself back together. not when it'll hurt to do it. not when his arm feels nice like this, nice in a way he's never ever felt before. ]
Nobody. Nobody did this. It's my fault. [ she repeats it under his breath, murmuring and clutching his arm; his hand lies limply at her side. ] It's not... I don't even know what I look like, right now. [ a sad, hollow laugh; it echoes out from his voice at his mouth and her voice at the radio and something else entirely from the jagged crack on the arm. ] Sorry. I... I must look ridiculous, right?
[ a deep breath in. a deep breath out. small little hiccups and sobs still escape him, but he tries to force himself to be steady. ]
You can wrap it. It's fine for now. [ he doesn't know how he knows that. he doesn't even know what he means by "for now." maybe he'll tear it off. maybe it'll come undone. maybe it'll save him. ] Just. Not- not too tight, okay?
[ it probably sounds like nonsense. but to him, it's the most sensible thing he's said this whole time. of course it doesn't hurt. he wanted this all along, didn't he? and now the time has come, and he's scared and afraid and ready to put it back-
-but at the same time, he can't bear the idea of putting himself back together. not when it'll hurt to do it. not when his arm feels nice like this, nice in a way he's never ever felt before. ]
Nobody. Nobody did this. It's my fault. [ she repeats it under his breath, murmuring and clutching his arm; his hand lies limply at her side. ] It's not... I don't even know what I look like, right now. [ a sad, hollow laugh; it echoes out from his voice at his mouth and her voice at the radio and something else entirely from the jagged crack on the arm. ] Sorry. I... I must look ridiculous, right?
[ a deep breath in. a deep breath out. small little hiccups and sobs still escape him, but he tries to force himself to be steady. ]
You can wrap it. It's fine for now. [ he doesn't know how he knows that. he doesn't even know what he means by "for now." maybe he'll tear it off. maybe it'll come undone. maybe it'll save him. ] Just. Not- not too tight, okay?
[ fire? backbone? those are words venus loathes. the truth of the matter is, he's put in a lot of effort to be exactly as much of a pushover as he's become. fighting is something good boys do, and venus is not a good boy. ]
Huh? Oh, no, of course not! That's fine. I just, um... I just wanted to ask. Why do mirrors make your magic weaker?
[ it's weird. on some level, he gets it? like. he might not understand, but he gets it. he'd feel weird right now if there was a mirror in the room, after all.
not that beatrice has anything to be ashamed of if she looks. ]
Huh? Oh, no, of course not! That's fine. I just, um... I just wanted to ask. Why do mirrors make your magic weaker?
[ it's weird. on some level, he gets it? like. he might not understand, but he gets it. he'd feel weird right now if there was a mirror in the room, after all.
not that beatrice has anything to be ashamed of if she looks. ]
You look fine.
[somehow that's the first thing she says. somehow she's the one who puts herself in the role of moral support, of the voice, of the face of things—while kainé can actually do something to help, she's sitting here running her mouth because it's one of the few things she thinks she's halfway decent at.]
You look like... god, Venus, that light. [she doesn't know what else to say about it, though. so much for having the right words.] I keep feeling like I've seen it come off you before, but I've never seen it glowing so strong like this. It's like there's something inside of you that really wants to come out.
[and as the astonishment fades a little and she stops fumbling over her words as much, she glances over to kainé, and her lips close. is anna just being stupid? she might be. but there's another question, then, that she doesn't think she's ever really asked before.]
If it doesn't hurt, what do you feel?
[somehow that's the first thing she says. somehow she's the one who puts herself in the role of moral support, of the voice, of the face of things—while kainé can actually do something to help, she's sitting here running her mouth because it's one of the few things she thinks she's halfway decent at.]
You look like... god, Venus, that light. [she doesn't know what else to say about it, though. so much for having the right words.] I keep feeling like I've seen it come off you before, but I've never seen it glowing so strong like this. It's like there's something inside of you that really wants to come out.
[and as the astonishment fades a little and she stops fumbling over her words as much, she glances over to kainé, and her lips close. is anna just being stupid? she might be. but there's another question, then, that she doesn't think she's ever really asked before.]
If it doesn't hurt, what do you feel?
[ She looks more than fine. She looks radiant, like the full moon peeking out from behind clouds, like the first spring she ever saw, here in Trench, when the sun came back and life, however tenuous and meager, returned to the world. She looks sad, unbearably so, enough to make Kainé's heart hurt with a sudden pang of sympathetic grief. She looks... waiting, like something is going to happen. And yeah, she looks like a fucking mess. ]
...No. [ She shakes her head, pulls away from Venus' arm. She doesn't entirely know what this is, but she can already intuit that shutting the light away might be worse for Venus than letting it out. ] I won't put it on unless you ask for it. Fuck that.
[ She returns Anna's look. She really doesn't know what to do. But maybe she's not the one who has to. ]
Yeah. What will happen if the light comes out, Venus? Who will you be?
[ That was always it, wasn't it? Venus wanting to become something else, other than what he was. Something that he thinks is wrong but wants so bad. ]
...No. [ She shakes her head, pulls away from Venus' arm. She doesn't entirely know what this is, but she can already intuit that shutting the light away might be worse for Venus than letting it out. ] I won't put it on unless you ask for it. Fuck that.
[ She returns Anna's look. She really doesn't know what to do. But maybe she's not the one who has to. ]
Yeah. What will happen if the light comes out, Venus? Who will you be?
[ That was always it, wasn't it? Venus wanting to become something else, other than what he was. Something that he thinks is wrong but wants so bad. ]
It feels... [ how does it feel? his hand raises up, tentatively touching the light-filled fissure. ] It's like. My shirt's been too tight my whole life? And I finally pulled open the top button, and I can breathe. It's- it's nice, why is it nice, it'd be easier if it hurt a little-
[ his fingers start to prod and pry at the crack - then withdraw as if stung. he can't. he can't. he needs to just wait, to just let kainé bandage it up, and maybe they can pretend things are normal for just... another week. another day. anything.
that's the plan, at least, right up until kainé refuses. ]
Why not? [ his voice is high, tense, strained. he's scared. he's so, so scared. ] It doesn't- it doesn't have to be tonight. It doesn't have to be here. I can- I can find somewhere else, and make sure they have a radio, and-
[ who will you be?
kainé's voice is low. kainé's voice is higher than his. anna's voice is soft. anna's tone is blunter than his. both of them are beautiful and wonderful and terrible, and both of them are telling him-
it's okay.
you look fine.
what will happen?
he's not scared to become the devil. he's not sure he has been in a long time. he's just scared of what they'll think. anna, and kainé, and shiro, and beatrice-
why should you be scared? the radio whispers, quiet, soothing - her own voice coming through the static. they're here. they're with us. they won't leave.
he fumbles for a grip on the wall behind him, forcing himself onto his feet. ]
I don't know. [ a deep breath, interrupted halfway by a whimper, then another. ] And- and I don't care. I don't care anymore, and I should, but I just don't. I'll do awful things, and be the worst person here, and just-
[ a half-stifled hiccup. the crying has eased, but it's not like he's stable just yet. he walks to the kitchen, stumbling for a moment before picking up the hem of his dress with a surprising ease. ]
Alcohol. Where's the alcohol? [ the tension in his voice slowly shifts, the terror and self-hatred easing into a frustrated anxiety. ] I want to do a drink. If I'm going to be the devil, I deserve a drink.
[ his fingers start to prod and pry at the crack - then withdraw as if stung. he can't. he can't. he needs to just wait, to just let kainé bandage it up, and maybe they can pretend things are normal for just... another week. another day. anything.
that's the plan, at least, right up until kainé refuses. ]
Why not? [ his voice is high, tense, strained. he's scared. he's so, so scared. ] It doesn't- it doesn't have to be tonight. It doesn't have to be here. I can- I can find somewhere else, and make sure they have a radio, and-
[ who will you be?
kainé's voice is low. kainé's voice is higher than his. anna's voice is soft. anna's tone is blunter than his. both of them are beautiful and wonderful and terrible, and both of them are telling him-
it's okay.
you look fine.
what will happen?
he's not scared to become the devil. he's not sure he has been in a long time. he's just scared of what they'll think. anna, and kainé, and shiro, and beatrice-
why should you be scared? the radio whispers, quiet, soothing - her own voice coming through the static. they're here. they're with us. they won't leave.
he fumbles for a grip on the wall behind him, forcing himself onto his feet. ]
I don't know. [ a deep breath, interrupted halfway by a whimper, then another. ] And- and I don't care. I don't care anymore, and I should, but I just don't. I'll do awful things, and be the worst person here, and just-
[ a half-stifled hiccup. the crying has eased, but it's not like he's stable just yet. he walks to the kitchen, stumbling for a moment before picking up the hem of his dress with a surprising ease. ]
Alcohol. Where's the alcohol? [ the tension in his voice slowly shifts, the terror and self-hatred easing into a frustrated anxiety. ] I want to do a drink. If I'm going to be the devil, I deserve a drink.
[anna watches venus have a revelation in realtime in front of her, and it's about the time that venus starts talking about being terrible and doing awful things that she realizes what this is all coming back to. that conversation on the docks, the cigarettes, the anger and the lights. if shit like this turns people into the devil, every single one of them became the devil years ago.]
[when venus says it outright, confirms what's been going through anna's mind—about the devil at least—she laughs and shambles her way over to the kitchen, taking her time with each step. as she passes by kainé, and only when venus isn't facing them, her lips curl up into a smirk. they're so fucking smart. a million IQ and a hundred percent sales tax.]
Harder stuff is higher up, V. So we're finally going to see what happens to someone when they let the devil in? [she leans on the counter. there shouldn't be this happy undertone to her words, but it really feels like she's about to witness the birth of something beautiful here. it will be a creature made of blinding, glorious light, and venus will blossom like a flower. it should be frightening, but she knows better. she's sure of it.] We aren't going to leave you alone, okay? Whether you're afraid or not. I told you that we always have room for three.
[when venus says it outright, confirms what's been going through anna's mind—about the devil at least—she laughs and shambles her way over to the kitchen, taking her time with each step. as she passes by kainé, and only when venus isn't facing them, her lips curl up into a smirk. they're so fucking smart. a million IQ and a hundred percent sales tax.]
Harder stuff is higher up, V. So we're finally going to see what happens to someone when they let the devil in? [she leans on the counter. there shouldn't be this happy undertone to her words, but it really feels like she's about to witness the birth of something beautiful here. it will be a creature made of blinding, glorious light, and venus will blossom like a flower. it should be frightening, but she knows better. she's sure of it.] We aren't going to leave you alone, okay? Whether you're afraid or not. I told you that we always have room for three.
[ She rolls her eyes at Anna as she follows her into the kitchen. It's not her place to tell Venus how she (she's pretty sure it's she?) turns out, but she smiles a little anyway. It makes her happy seeing her release some of that pressure. She hadn't had the sort of conversation with her that Anna has, but she's gotten a few of the details and she knows deep in her gut that she deserves to make this choice. ]
We're both a little ways past Devil already ourselves. [ The Devil has been with Kainé for a very, very long time. It feels like centuries. ] If that's who you've gotta be, then I sure as hell ain't kicking you out.
[ She nods to Anna, gesturing at the refrigerator. Anna is a font of corruption, of things she never knew about before that stained her heart. Shit that nobody in the Aerie would like, that's for sure. ]
Fuck’s sake Anna, at least mix— [ Which pronoun? ] mix Venus something. They deserve a little better than straight liquor. We got some soda, right?
[ Maybe Venus wants it to be a little bad, though. She wouldn't blame her. She just wants to see her shine. Maybe that's a bit selfish, but she doesn't care. ]
We're both a little ways past Devil already ourselves. [ The Devil has been with Kainé for a very, very long time. It feels like centuries. ] If that's who you've gotta be, then I sure as hell ain't kicking you out.
[ She nods to Anna, gesturing at the refrigerator. Anna is a font of corruption, of things she never knew about before that stained her heart. Shit that nobody in the Aerie would like, that's for sure. ]
Fuck’s sake Anna, at least mix— [ Which pronoun? ] mix Venus something. They deserve a little better than straight liquor. We got some soda, right?
[ Maybe Venus wants it to be a little bad, though. She wouldn't blame her. She just wants to see her shine. Maybe that's a bit selfish, but she doesn't care. ]
Edited 2022-12-16 23:27 (UTC)
I don't want to mix it! [ he? she? right now, venus sounds less like a gender and more like a petulant teen idiot. which is an accurate description, all things considered. ] Mixing it just makes it taste even worse anyway. Then I have to drink even more. What's the point of that?
[ the spirit of rulebreaking is finally beginning to manifest itself fully. venus throws open the fridge, grabbing the first bottle they can see - a brownish liquid, whiskey or something like it - then uncaps it. ]
I'm... I'm going to do it. I am going to do an alcohol.
[ venus stares down into the abyss. the abyss stares back up at venus. and then, in a single quick motion, venus raises the bottle to their lips and downs a gulp-
and then another-
and then one more, slamming the bottle back up right just in time to voice their regret. ]
HUARRGH. That's awful? Oh my god. I think I'm dying. [ oh, they are turning bright red. venus sinks down, plopping down skirt and all in the middle of the kitchen. ] I'm definitely dying. Ugh. I think that might have been worse than the first time I tried it?
[ the spirit of rulebreaking is finally beginning to manifest itself fully. venus throws open the fridge, grabbing the first bottle they can see - a brownish liquid, whiskey or something like it - then uncaps it. ]
I'm... I'm going to do it. I am going to do an alcohol.
[ venus stares down into the abyss. the abyss stares back up at venus. and then, in a single quick motion, venus raises the bottle to their lips and downs a gulp-
and then another-
and then one more, slamming the bottle back up right just in time to voice their regret. ]
HUARRGH. That's awful? Oh my god. I think I'm dying. [ oh, they are turning bright red. venus sinks down, plopping down skirt and all in the middle of the kitchen. ] I'm definitely dying. Ugh. I think that might have been worse than the first time I tried it?
[at first, anna is content to let this happen. it's the only way rebellious teenagers learn. but as she watches venus go through this whole production and sees her-or-them slump to the floor, the cockiness, the smugness, the humor falls from her face. instead, she walks into the kitchen and kneels down, both knees on the floor, feet under her, to rest a hand on venus' shoulder.]
You're not dying. [she tries for a smile.] But you are getting a good grade in alcohol. My first time with hard liquor was way weaker than this. Don't go crazy with it though, okay? [the smile comes easier; she moves her hand to venus' back.]
We're not gonna abandon you no matter what happens tonight or whatever hell may follow with Her. But if you gotta puke and you can't make it to the toilet, at least try to do it on the tile. Okay? [and she looks up at kainé.] Wanna do shots together?
You're not dying. [she tries for a smile.] But you are getting a good grade in alcohol. My first time with hard liquor was way weaker than this. Don't go crazy with it though, okay? [the smile comes easier; she moves her hand to venus' back.]
We're not gonna abandon you no matter what happens tonight or whatever hell may follow with Her. But if you gotta puke and you can't make it to the toilet, at least try to do it on the tile. Okay? [and she looks up at kainé.] Wanna do shots together?
[ Kainé snorts, grinning down at them and crossing her arms in that devastatingly cool way. She's not too good for a bit of wry amusement at this. She almost feels jealous now of Anna, of all things, how easily and immediately she can move in to comfort people. But she's close by. Not hovering, but within view. ]
Warned you. Try not to make me clean up too much, princess.
[ Was that nickname a good idea? Who knows. ]
Sure. Shame they won't fuck me up as much as they should.
Warned you. Try not to make me clean up too much, princess.
[ Was that nickname a good idea? Who knows. ]
Sure. Shame they won't fuck me up as much as they should.
Edited 2022-12-17 03:11 (UTC)
Ha. I haven't heard that in a while. It sounds good when you say it? [ sure sounds like a good idea to venus, at least. for a moment, venus just sits there - grinning lazily, rubbing at theri tear-and-mascara stained cheeks, and trying to get their breathing steady. after a few moments, venus grabs at their head, groaning a bit. yeah, there's definitely some regret in there. ] God. Ugh. Sorry. You're not going to have to clean up? Either of you. It just burns, I wouldn't- I'm not going to puke. I drank way more last time and I didn't puke then.
[ venus's gaze rolls to the side, towards anna; their head lilts just a bit as they stare over at her. ]
And besides, I'll be... I'll be something else by then. So none of us will have to care.
[ they're not drunk - not quite yet, at least. but drinking that much in a short period means they've jumped right into "tipsy as hell," and they absolutely don't plan on leaving anytime soon. venus stares for a few more moments, swallowing heavily.
screw it. they wanted to make mistakes, right? so they'll make mistakes. ]
I think... I hate how pretty you are? [ their voice is soft, gentle - none of the earlier sobbing, none of the frustrated elevation to their pitch remains. it's confessional, not cathartic. ] Both of you. It hurts to look at you, sometimes. A lot of times. Most times.
[ they can't look away. the lights in the corners of their eyes... they're brighter than ever. so bright they can practically feel the heat. ]
[ venus's gaze rolls to the side, towards anna; their head lilts just a bit as they stare over at her. ]
And besides, I'll be... I'll be something else by then. So none of us will have to care.
[ they're not drunk - not quite yet, at least. but drinking that much in a short period means they've jumped right into "tipsy as hell," and they absolutely don't plan on leaving anytime soon. venus stares for a few more moments, swallowing heavily.
screw it. they wanted to make mistakes, right? so they'll make mistakes. ]
I think... I hate how pretty you are? [ their voice is soft, gentle - none of the earlier sobbing, none of the frustrated elevation to their pitch remains. it's confessional, not cathartic. ] Both of you. It hurts to look at you, sometimes. A lot of times. Most times.
[ they can't look away. the lights in the corners of their eyes... they're brighter than ever. so bright they can practically feel the heat. ]
Edited 2022-12-17 03:48 (UTC)
[anna, then, takes the initiative to get to her feet and grab some shot glasses. they're dangerous to keep in the house, she thinks, just like the alcohol. just like the weed she has in her bedside table. but if she's doing it all with friends, with loved ones and people she trusts, then it won't ever get as bad as it used to be. that's the one reason she's allowed herself to keep these indulgences within arm's reach in the first place.]
[she's pouring out a round of shots from the whiskey that venus had already chosen when she hears her start talking about... hating how pretty they both are. which is, uh, interesting. she looks ahead of her, as if into an invisible camera, and turns her head slightly.]
Sorry? [she laughs, uncertain. what is she supposed to say? she mumbles something out that starts off loud, but fades into the noise of the light. she can see it; she can't ignore it. but she's not as important as the source of it.] I mean, I don't think I'm that pretty, but Kainé's fucking gorgeous.
[she's pouring out a round of shots from the whiskey that venus had already chosen when she hears her start talking about... hating how pretty they both are. which is, uh, interesting. she looks ahead of her, as if into an invisible camera, and turns her head slightly.]
Sorry? [she laughs, uncertain. what is she supposed to say? she mumbles something out that starts off loud, but fades into the noise of the light. she can see it; she can't ignore it. but she's not as important as the source of it.] I mean, I don't think I'm that pretty, but Kainé's fucking gorgeous.
[ The fact that Venus is just not a good boy, well... Beato has figured that out already. It's so obvious. She's just not quite sure what it is he wants to be good about instead. ]
Hmm? Don't ask silly questions. Mirrors are very good at revealing truth and magic and truth can be very different things. Sometimes they're the same, of course...
[ She taps a finger against her chin and a brush adds another bit of blush. ]
It's coming along very well, though. This particular magic~.
Hmm? Don't ask silly questions. Mirrors are very good at revealing truth and magic and truth can be very different things. Sometimes they're the same, of course...
[ She taps a finger against her chin and a brush adds another bit of blush. ]
It's coming along very well, though. This particular magic~.
[ Kainé is never really sure about letting Anna drink, with some of the stuff she's confided in her, but it's sort of hard to avoid proximity to it with most of the places she plays at serving drinks. She keeps an eye on her whenever she does.
Venus' words just... make too much sense. Too much sense as words that would come from Venus, of course they would feel that way. And too much sense in expressing the seething, resentment filled envy towards those that have what you never will, the people you care about but can never touch, never let in. The monstrosity in their flesh, in their souls, that never stops hurting. She slams back her shot, feeling it burn all the way down. Whiskey tastes a little better after a few times trying it, but it's still kind of awful, just the kind of awful that you want to do to yourself. It feels purifying. She heard somewhere that it's called "water of life," and she can kind of see why.
She doesn't say anything to what Venus says or to Anna's inane response. She just sits down in front of Venus, takes her face in both her hands, and pulls her forward into a kiss. It's gentle, but also angry, if such a contradiction could be allowed to exist. ]
Venus' words just... make too much sense. Too much sense as words that would come from Venus, of course they would feel that way. And too much sense in expressing the seething, resentment filled envy towards those that have what you never will, the people you care about but can never touch, never let in. The monstrosity in their flesh, in their souls, that never stops hurting. She slams back her shot, feeling it burn all the way down. Whiskey tastes a little better after a few times trying it, but it's still kind of awful, just the kind of awful that you want to do to yourself. It feels purifying. She heard somewhere that it's called "water of life," and she can kind of see why.
She doesn't say anything to what Venus says or to Anna's inane response. She just sits down in front of Venus, takes her face in both her hands, and pulls her forward into a kiss. It's gentle, but also angry, if such a contradiction could be allowed to exist. ]
Edited 2022-12-17 06:46 (UTC)
Oh my god. Don't... don't be stupid, you're absolutely that pretty. Ugh. You're like, effortless about it, too. [ okay, there's that spike of spite in venus's voice again. like. come on, dumbass. ] You're not, like, glamorous, I guess? Not like Kainé. But you've still got the like, punk model-
[ that's about as far as venus manages to get before kainé's lips meet theirs. for a moment, venus just falls absolutely silent - no reaction, no kissing back, just utter confusion on their face. and then a tiny crack appears in their cheek, and a deeper red than the alcohol's pink spreads across their cheeks, and slowly their eyes turn to look more directly at anna.
is this... ok?? that's what they're trying to ask. it may or may not actually come across, given the very attractive lady kissing them at the moment. ]
[ that's about as far as venus manages to get before kainé's lips meet theirs. for a moment, venus just falls absolutely silent - no reaction, no kissing back, just utter confusion on their face. and then a tiny crack appears in their cheek, and a deeper red than the alcohol's pink spreads across their cheeks, and slowly their eyes turn to look more directly at anna.
is this... ok?? that's what they're trying to ask. it may or may not actually come across, given the very attractive lady kissing them at the moment. ]
[now normally anna could deflect. or she could fucking take the compliment. she could do a lot of things. but between hearing venus say that shit and hearing venus not make very many noises at all, actually, she's taken her shot and put the glass back on the counter, and when her eye levels out again—]
K?
[it's, like. god. she isn't totally angry about it because they did have that conversation and they brought this up as a possibility. but she'd also asked to, like, talk about it a little before anything happens. but she'd also been very guilty of not asking before stuff happens in the past, and she knows that kainé isn't always much for talking. and while her mind races, her eye meets venus', and words absolutely fail her. but she can see the crack, glowing against the frozen embarrassment. she can see that somehow this is helping venus, if the cracks and the light are in fact what she wants. maybe this is the realization of their exception. it just still hurts inside her chest, and she can't ignore it. the protest spills out before she can stop herself.]
You said we'd talk first!
K?
[it's, like. god. she isn't totally angry about it because they did have that conversation and they brought this up as a possibility. but she'd also asked to, like, talk about it a little before anything happens. but she'd also been very guilty of not asking before stuff happens in the past, and she knows that kainé isn't always much for talking. and while her mind races, her eye meets venus', and words absolutely fail her. but she can see the crack, glowing against the frozen embarrassment. she can see that somehow this is helping venus, if the cracks and the light are in fact what she wants. maybe this is the realization of their exception. it just still hurts inside her chest, and she can't ignore it. the protest spills out before she can stop herself.]
You said we'd talk first!
Edited 2022-12-17 18:42 (UTC)
[ The hurt in Anna's voice strikes Kainé like a whip. She realizes several seconds too late what she just did, a seeming eternity after thoughtless, uncompromising urges in the back of her brain did it. For a terrible, burning second as she pulls away, staring at the hard tile, she's just angry. At herself, at Anna, at Venus. At Nier. At everything. The sort of hurt selfish anger that knows it did something wrong, but how dare anybody criticize her, don't they know what she's been through?
But she wrestles it down, scrambling up to a side of the kitchen, folding her arms protectively around herself. She spares a glance at Anna's hurt face, and hates herself, and at the crack running down Venus', hating herself again for how good it feels that she did that. ]
...Yeah. Sorry. [ She mumbles, voice heavy with shame. ] I just wanted... to help her. Help you, Venus. I don't... fuck...
[ Hyahaha! You really can't do anything but hurt people, huh Sunshine? The only person who can really accept you is me, you know that! ]
's not your fault. It was never your fault.
But she wrestles it down, scrambling up to a side of the kitchen, folding her arms protectively around herself. She spares a glance at Anna's hurt face, and hates herself, and at the crack running down Venus', hating herself again for how good it feels that she did that. ]
...Yeah. Sorry. [ She mumbles, voice heavy with shame. ] I just wanted... to help her. Help you, Venus. I don't... fuck...
[ Hyahaha! You really can't do anything but hurt people, huh Sunshine? The only person who can really accept you is me, you know that! ]
's not your fault. It was never your fault.
Edited 2022-12-17 20:03 (UTC)
[ anna sounds- hurt. pained. she looks hurt, like she's been stabbed, and for a terrible moment venus feels a great and yawning guilt inside them-
why did kainé kiss them?
she wanted to help her. her? who is her?
it's... her, isn't it?
kainé wanted to help her. kainé wanted to help peel this body away. anna's-
are they fighting over her?
another crack opens, this one at venus's neck. slowly, the look on venus's face shifts - recognition, and then understanding, and then a quiet focus. venus reaches up to the crack on her arm, breaking away from anna and kainé's faces (their beautiful, lovely, imperfect, flawed faces)- ]
Ah.
[ the arm tumbles to the ground, lifeless and inert. a chunk of eggshell, finally peeled away from the slowly hatching chick. and venus looks down at her new arm - no, it isn't an arm, it's the part of her body that the arm was hiding this whole time - with that same quiet understanding.
she hasn't become the devil. not even close. and the right time will never come, because there was never a right time to begin with. she already was the devil. she has been the devil since she first showed up here.
the radio sighs - relieved, crystalline, gentle. ]
Huh. That was a lot easier than I thought it'd be. [ she sounds distant - echoing from a human mouth and a devil's body and the mouth of a crystal radio all at once. the part of her body that can breath and see reaches forward, feathers running across kainé's hair as every little part of her whispers it's okay and thank you and i get it now. ] I think... Maybe we need to talk?
[ her body- and it is her body, there's not a trace of doubt left of that- curls over to anna. wave-particle feathers run across her wrist, apologetic and hopeful and reassuring. come on. we can talk through this. i don't want you to have to hurt. ]
All three of us. Is that okay?
why did kainé kiss them?
she wanted to help her. her? who is her?
it's... her, isn't it?
kainé wanted to help her. kainé wanted to help peel this body away. anna's-
are they fighting over her?
another crack opens, this one at venus's neck. slowly, the look on venus's face shifts - recognition, and then understanding, and then a quiet focus. venus reaches up to the crack on her arm, breaking away from anna and kainé's faces (their beautiful, lovely, imperfect, flawed faces)- ]
Ah.
[ the arm tumbles to the ground, lifeless and inert. a chunk of eggshell, finally peeled away from the slowly hatching chick. and venus looks down at her new arm - no, it isn't an arm, it's the part of her body that the arm was hiding this whole time - with that same quiet understanding.
she hasn't become the devil. not even close. and the right time will never come, because there was never a right time to begin with. she already was the devil. she has been the devil since she first showed up here.
the radio sighs - relieved, crystalline, gentle. ]
Huh. That was a lot easier than I thought it'd be. [ she sounds distant - echoing from a human mouth and a devil's body and the mouth of a crystal radio all at once. the part of her body that can breath and see reaches forward, feathers running across kainé's hair as every little part of her whispers it's okay and thank you and i get it now. ] I think... Maybe we need to talk?
[ her body- and it is her body, there's not a trace of doubt left of that- curls over to anna. wave-particle feathers run across her wrist, apologetic and hopeful and reassuring. come on. we can talk through this. i don't want you to have to hurt. ]
All three of us. Is that okay?
[the thing is that anna immediately sees what her outburst (such that it is) has done to kainé, and it hits her like she's the one with compulsory empathy. it makes her heart break to see kainé react like this, even though she'd just done something that anna has a problem with—really, that just means anna did something and made kainé sad.]
[before she can take the couple of steps across the kitchen to hug her girlfriend and apologize for yelling, which is a normal reaction, something else happens.]
[venus takes her arm off.]
[venus takes her arm off, and anna watches venus take her arm off. and what was inside venus, that light and that warmth and that love and the devil, the devil in ways that nobody had ever written about, the devil as written by a sad trans woman who cared far too much for the bible, the devil that is the shadow in the light of god which raises questions of just how brilliantly god must shine... the devil touches her.]
[how long have you waited here for someone to touch you, for someone to hear you scream? it's okay to be afraid. i'm here with you.]
[her mouth opens. she doesn't know what to say. after an eon-become-instant, she tries:]
Venus.
[before she can take the couple of steps across the kitchen to hug her girlfriend and apologize for yelling, which is a normal reaction, something else happens.]
[venus takes her arm off.]
[venus takes her arm off, and anna watches venus take her arm off. and what was inside venus, that light and that warmth and that love and the devil, the devil in ways that nobody had ever written about, the devil as written by a sad trans woman who cared far too much for the bible, the devil that is the shadow in the light of god which raises questions of just how brilliantly god must shine... the devil touches her.]
[how long have you waited here for someone to touch you, for someone to hear you scream? it's okay to be afraid. i'm here with you.]
[her mouth opens. she doesn't know what to say. after an eon-become-instant, she tries:]
Venus.
[ She looks over at Anna, pained, ready to say something more, anything to soothe her. She knows she just fucked up, and it used to be, before last year, that she could just live with burning bridges because nothing will ever last for her, because she's fucked up and all she does is break things, so it's inevitable she'd hurt both the women here, but it hasn't worked that way for a long time—
Mercifully, whatever was going to happen is interrupted when she glances back over at Venus, whose arm falls off like a broken doll. In the place of the old flesh, something flowing and beautiful. Venus is becoming something new, and Kainé can't help but be awestruck at that. ]
...Holy shit.
[ Every hint of Tyrann's sickly memory is scoured from her mind as she hears Venus' voice, echoing and multifaceted. A lossless transmission. She'd said that she was the Devil already, and by Venus' definition she is, but she could never conceive that it could be something so beautiful and gentle. Silky quantum foam feathers touch her and Anna. It will be okay. She knows it will. Venus isn't becoming something new, she's just becoming herself. ]
...Yeah. Let's talk. Sorry. Both of you.
Mercifully, whatever was going to happen is interrupted when she glances back over at Venus, whose arm falls off like a broken doll. In the place of the old flesh, something flowing and beautiful. Venus is becoming something new, and Kainé can't help but be awestruck at that. ]
...Holy shit.
[ Every hint of Tyrann's sickly memory is scoured from her mind as she hears Venus' voice, echoing and multifaceted. A lossless transmission. She'd said that she was the Devil already, and by Venus' definition she is, but she could never conceive that it could be something so beautiful and gentle. Silky quantum foam feathers touch her and Anna. It will be okay. She knows it will. Venus isn't becoming something new, she's just becoming herself. ]
...Yeah. Let's talk. Sorry. Both of you.
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