[ the sun has already set; venus has been out all day. his radio is silent, a pile of wire and crystal resting on the dining room table. the room is quiet, leaving anna and kainé to their own devices.
and then there is a flare of light, a burst of static, and the radio screams to life. a siren echoes out from it, haunting and high - an unearthly wail more familiar than either of its inhabitants might want to admit. the sound chokes, tunes, strengthens and dissipates at random until finally-
finally-
the signal clears, and venus's voice echoes out throughout the apartment. she is crying, sobbing, hiccuping as her voice catches in her throat. she chokes out words without thought, quiet words that echo throughout the room: ]
i'm sorry, i'm sorry,
i messed up,
please forgive me,
i'm so, so sorry,
please don't hate me-
[ the voice builds, layering over one another as it grows stronger and clearer, until it's almost painful- until that wail grates at the nerves, until the pitch it hits is the exact sort of miserable to drag along your spine-
until there's a rustling at the door, the sound of a key fumbling at a lock, and a sobbing venus bursts into the room.
his cheeks are blotchy and red, a terrible swelling from where he's been rubbing at them. his eyes are bloodshot, thin capillaries of red breaking into that beautiful cyan. he is done up like a porcelain doll, beautiful in its own way: lined eyes and smeared mascara and a deep red across his lips, a black and gold dress that only serves to highlight the pale skin that still shows. and across his right arm - her right arm? - a jagged crack runs deep, with a brilliant light shining through.
it's a mess. venus is a mess. and it's beautiful, in its own way - venus is beautiful, like this. ]
[anna's running scales when she hears the signal come through. for a moment, it's almost nostalgic. remember when you could tell when you were getting a call because your speakers would go on the fritz? but she hears a very familiar voice coming through and the nostalgia wanes immediately. she sets her bass down next to her and walks over to the radio. tilts her head. is this how the radios are supposed to work? because this is the most normal thing it's done so far.]
[she turns her head after examining the radio for longer than she'd prefer, and she can hear someone trying to get in, and she realizes it must be venus. she walks closer to the door, ready to comfort him because that's exactly the kind of thing that it feels like she'll have to do—]
[and then she sees him.]
[he makes a good girl, she thinks, but he's clearly not on the same page. there's light coming through, like he's breaking apart, and that's the thing that draws anna's attention more than the makeup, the clothes, the tears.]
K? [she calls further into their shared house.] K, grab some bandages or something. It's Venus. [and she approaches him and her attention is fully on him now and she is looking.]
What happened? Does it hurt? [a pause. she considers calling attention to the rest, but she puts it into the back of her mind; she needs to take care of something more pressing first.] Who did this to you?
[ Kainé had been in the kitchen, her turn to wash the dishes, listening to Anna practice as she scrubs out the stewpot. Almost as close as it comes to paradise for her. The wailing and sobbing from the radio shakes her out of that moment of peace. She recognizes the voice immediately, and she recognizes that this something a lot more serious than just, some wave of spooky jesus static or whatever the fuck that stuff is.
She's halfway toward the door herself when she hears Anna call after her, and she turns right around. Things might have gotten... complicated with Venus last month, in a way they never had a chance to address, but there's not a moment's hesitation for her to help a friend who needs her.
So it doesn't take very long for Kainé to hurry back to the door, her mouth a grim line, carrying a roll of bandages. Her expression changes immediately when she sees him (her?), cracking at the seams, light shining through, beautiful and sad, all done up like a doll that's been left out in a typhoon. ]
Holy shit. Venus, will it break if I wrap this around it? [ The light is so beautiful, she doesn't want it to go away. But it wouldn't be great if she lost an arm, either. ]
It- it doesn't hurt. [ it really, really doesn't. it's more comfortable than anything else. that's the whole problem, really. he wipes at his eyes with his wrists, leaving smudged trails of blue and black behind. ] It's not going to hurt. Maybe if- maybe if I was a good person it'd hurt more? But I'm not, and it won't.
[ it probably sounds like nonsense. but to him, it's the most sensible thing he's said this whole time. of course it doesn't hurt. he wanted this all along, didn't he? and now the time has come, and he's scared and afraid and ready to put it back-
-but at the same time, he can't bear the idea of putting himself back together. not when it'll hurt to do it. not when his arm feels nice like this, nice in a way he's never ever felt before. ]
Nobody. Nobody did this. It's my fault. [ she repeats it under his breath, murmuring and clutching his arm; his hand lies limply at her side. ] It's not... I don't even know what I look like, right now. [ a sad, hollow laugh; it echoes out from his voice at his mouth and her voice at the radio and something else entirely from the jagged crack on the arm. ] Sorry. I... I must look ridiculous, right?
[ a deep breath in. a deep breath out. small little hiccups and sobs still escape him, but he tries to force himself to be steady. ]
You can wrap it. It's fine for now. [ he doesn't know how he knows that. he doesn't even know what he means by "for now." maybe he'll tear it off. maybe it'll come undone. maybe it'll save him. ] Just. Not- not too tight, okay?
[somehow that's the first thing she says. somehow she's the one who puts herself in the role of moral support, of the voice, of the face of things—while kainé can actually do something to help, she's sitting here running her mouth because it's one of the few things she thinks she's halfway decent at.]
You look like... god, Venus, that light. [she doesn't know what else to say about it, though. so much for having the right words.] I keep feeling like I've seen it come off you before, but I've never seen it glowing so strong like this. It's like there's something inside of you that really wants to come out.
[and as the astonishment fades a little and she stops fumbling over her words as much, she glances over to kainé, and her lips close. is anna just being stupid? she might be. but there's another question, then, that she doesn't think she's ever really asked before.]
[ She looks more than fine. She looks radiant, like the full moon peeking out from behind clouds, like the first spring she ever saw, here in Trench, when the sun came back and life, however tenuous and meager, returned to the world. She looks sad, unbearably so, enough to make Kainé's heart hurt with a sudden pang of sympathetic grief. She looks... waiting, like something is going to happen. And yeah, she looks like a fucking mess. ]
...No. [ She shakes her head, pulls away from Venus' arm. She doesn't entirely know what this is, but she can already intuit that shutting the light away might be worse for Venus than letting it out. ] I won't put it on unless you ask for it. Fuck that.
[ She returns Anna's look. She really doesn't know what to do. But maybe she's not the one who has to. ]
Yeah. What will happen if the light comes out, Venus? Who will you be?
[ That was always it, wasn't it? Venus wanting to become something else, other than what he was. Something that he thinks is wrong but wants so bad. ]
It feels... [ how does it feel? his hand raises up, tentatively touching the light-filled fissure. ] It's like. My shirt's been too tight my whole life? And I finally pulled open the top button, and I can breathe. It's- it's nice, why is it nice, it'd be easier if it hurt a little-
[ his fingers start to prod and pry at the crack - then withdraw as if stung. he can't. he can't. he needs to just wait, to just let kainé bandage it up, and maybe they can pretend things are normal for just... another week. another day. anything.
that's the plan, at least, right up until kainé refuses. ]
Why not? [ his voice is high, tense, strained. he's scared. he's so, so scared. ] It doesn't- it doesn't have to be tonight. It doesn't have to be here. I can- I can find somewhere else, and make sure they have a radio, and-
[ who will you be?
kainé's voice is low. kainé's voice is higher than his. anna's voice is soft. anna's tone is blunter than his. both of them are beautiful and wonderful and terrible, and both of them are telling him-
it's okay. you look fine. what will happen?
he's not scared to become the devil. he's not sure he has been in a long time. he's just scared of what they'll think. anna, and kainé, and shiro, and beatrice-
why should you be scared? the radio whispers, quiet, soothing - her own voice coming through the static. they're here. they're with us. they won't leave.
he fumbles for a grip on the wall behind him, forcing himself onto his feet. ]
I don't know. [ a deep breath, interrupted halfway by a whimper, then another. ] And- and I don't care. I don't care anymore, and I should, but I just don't. I'll do awful things, and be the worst person here, and just-
[ a half-stifled hiccup. the crying has eased, but it's not like he's stable just yet. he walks to the kitchen, stumbling for a moment before picking up the hem of his dress with a surprising ease. ]
Alcohol. Where's the alcohol? [ the tension in his voice slowly shifts, the terror and self-hatred easing into a frustrated anxiety. ] I want to do a drink. If I'm going to be the devil, I deserve a drink.
[anna watches venus have a revelation in realtime in front of her, and it's about the time that venus starts talking about being terrible and doing awful things that she realizes what this is all coming back to. that conversation on the docks, the cigarettes, the anger and the lights. if shit like this turns people into the devil, every single one of them became the devil years ago.]
[when venus says it outright, confirms what's been going through anna's mind—about the devil at least—she laughs and shambles her way over to the kitchen, taking her time with each step. as she passes by kainé, and only when venus isn't facing them, her lips curl up into a smirk. they're so fucking smart. a million IQ and a hundred percent sales tax.]
Harder stuff is higher up, V. So we're finally going to see what happens to someone when they let the devil in? [she leans on the counter. there shouldn't be this happy undertone to her words, but it really feels like she's about to witness the birth of something beautiful here. it will be a creature made of blinding, glorious light, and venus will blossom like a flower. it should be frightening, but she knows better. she's sure of it.] We aren't going to leave you alone, okay? Whether you're afraid or not. I told you that we always have room for three.
[ She rolls her eyes at Anna as she follows her into the kitchen. It's not her place to tell Venus how she (she's pretty sure it's she?) turns out, but she smiles a little anyway. It makes her happy seeing her release some of that pressure. She hadn't had the sort of conversation with her that Anna has, but she's gotten a few of the details and she knows deep in her gut that she deserves to make this choice. ]
We're both a little ways past Devil already ourselves. [ The Devil has been with Kainé for a very, very long time. It feels like centuries. ] If that's who you've gotta be, then I sure as hell ain't kicking you out.
[ She nods to Anna, gesturing at the refrigerator. Anna is a font of corruption, of things she never knew about before that stained her heart. Shit that nobody in the Aerie would like, that's for sure. ]
Fuck’s sake Anna, at least mix— [ Which pronoun? ] mix Venus something. They deserve a little better than straight liquor. We got some soda, right?
[ Maybe Venus wants it to be a little bad, though. She wouldn't blame her. She just wants to see her shine. Maybe that's a bit selfish, but she doesn't care. ]
I don't want to mix it! [ he? she? right now, venus sounds less like a gender and more like a petulant teen idiot. which is an accurate description, all things considered. ] Mixing it just makes it taste even worse anyway. Then I have to drink even more. What's the point of that?
[ the spirit of rulebreaking is finally beginning to manifest itself fully. venus throws open the fridge, grabbing the first bottle they can see - a brownish liquid, whiskey or something like it - then uncaps it. ]
I'm... I'm going to do it. I am going to do an alcohol.
[ venus stares down into the abyss. the abyss stares back up at venus. and then, in a single quick motion, venus raises the bottle to their lips and downs a gulp-
and then another-
and then one more, slamming the bottle back up right just in time to voice their regret. ]
HUARRGH. That's awful? Oh my god. I think I'm dying. [ oh, they are turning bright red. venus sinks down, plopping down skirt and all in the middle of the kitchen. ] I'm definitely dying. Ugh. I think that might have been worse than the first time I tried it?
[at first, anna is content to let this happen. it's the only way rebellious teenagers learn. but as she watches venus go through this whole production and sees her-or-them slump to the floor, the cockiness, the smugness, the humor falls from her face. instead, she walks into the kitchen and kneels down, both knees on the floor, feet under her, to rest a hand on venus' shoulder.]
You're not dying. [she tries for a smile.] But you are getting a good grade in alcohol. My first time with hard liquor was way weaker than this. Don't go crazy with it though, okay? [the smile comes easier; she moves her hand to venus' back.]
We're not gonna abandon you no matter what happens tonight or whatever hell may follow with Her. But if you gotta puke and you can't make it to the toilet, at least try to do it on the tile. Okay? [and she looks up at kainé.] Wanna do shots together?
[ Kainé snorts, grinning down at them and crossing her arms in that devastatingly cool way. She's not too good for a bit of wry amusement at this. She almost feels jealous now of Anna, of all things, how easily and immediately she can move in to comfort people. But she's close by. Not hovering, but within view. ]
Warned you. Try not to make me clean up too much, princess.
[ Was that nickname a good idea? Who knows. ]
Sure. Shame they won't fuck me up as much as they should.
Ha. I haven't heard that in a while. It sounds good when you say it? [ sure sounds like a good idea to venus, at least. for a moment, venus just sits there - grinning lazily, rubbing at theri tear-and-mascara stained cheeks, and trying to get their breathing steady. after a few moments, venus grabs at their head, groaning a bit. yeah, there's definitely some regret in there. ] God. Ugh. Sorry. You're not going to have to clean up? Either of you. It just burns, I wouldn't- I'm not going to puke. I drank way more last time and I didn't puke then.
[ venus's gaze rolls to the side, towards anna; their head lilts just a bit as they stare over at her. ]
And besides, I'll be... I'll be something else by then. So none of us will have to care.
[ they're not drunk - not quite yet, at least. but drinking that much in a short period means they've jumped right into "tipsy as hell," and they absolutely don't plan on leaving anytime soon. venus stares for a few more moments, swallowing heavily.
screw it. they wanted to make mistakes, right? so they'll make mistakes. ]
I think... I hate how pretty you are? [ their voice is soft, gentle - none of the earlier sobbing, none of the frustrated elevation to their pitch remains. it's confessional, not cathartic. ] Both of you. It hurts to look at you, sometimes. A lot of times. Most times.
[ they can't look away. the lights in the corners of their eyes... they're brighter than ever. so bright they can practically feel the heat. ]
[anna, then, takes the initiative to get to her feet and grab some shot glasses. they're dangerous to keep in the house, she thinks, just like the alcohol. just like the weed she has in her bedside table. but if she's doing it all with friends, with loved ones and people she trusts, then it won't ever get as bad as it used to be. that's the one reason she's allowed herself to keep these indulgences within arm's reach in the first place.]
[she's pouring out a round of shots from the whiskey that venus had already chosen when she hears her start talking about... hating how pretty they both are. which is, uh, interesting. she looks ahead of her, as if into an invisible camera, and turns her head slightly.]
Sorry? [she laughs, uncertain. what is she supposed to say? she mumbles something out that starts off loud, but fades into the noise of the light. she can see it; she can't ignore it. but she's not as important as the source of it.] I mean, I don't think I'm that pretty, but Kainé's fucking gorgeous.
[ beatrice's bullying has taken on a new meaning, in this place. it's like neptune's insults, practically: acerbic, and sharp, and so dripping with tar that they couldn't have been made without some degree of love behind them. maybe that's why venus continues to seek her out, even when the woman's main joy is humiliating him like this. maybe that's why, even now - in a black and gold dress of the golden witch's creation, sitting on a cushion as her magicked tools draw liner and foundation onto his skin - he can't make himself care too much.
he gets to spend time with her like this, after all. and that's something... that he thinks he likes.
he can't see himself like this - no mirrors, beatrice had insisted, something about weakening her magic that he'd been all too happy to oblige. and as patient as he might be, he's still venus. he's easily distracted, with a mind that tends to wander. so as beatrice floats before him, he speaks without fully thinking it through: ]
Um. Miss Beato? [ it still feels weird, trying to call her by a nickname - even one she'd demanded of him. ] Is it alright if I ask something about your magic?
[ Beatrice hasn't been able to decide if this is kind or cruel yet, even after having had Venus essentially under her thumb for weeks at this point. He never put up more than a token protest which almost always led to a clumsy apology shortly after. It was dull, really. There has to be some fire or backbone in there. Beato just knew it.
Part of her hopes he'd fight back, as much fun as it was to see him meekly acquiesce. There had to be a flash of spine in there somewhere.
The thing that made her feel such an odd little sense of kinship with the poor unhappy boy. ]
Hmm? About my magic? What would you like to know? I can't promise to reveal anything of course. Witches list have their secrets~. Kihihi!
[ One of the brushes delicately applies another careful swipe of foundation as she speaks. Soon enough it would be time for the next application: blush, lipstick, perhaps mascara... ]
[ fire? backbone? those are words venus loathes. the truth of the matter is, he's put in a lot of effort to be exactly as much of a pushover as he's become. fighting is something good boys do, and venus is not a good boy. ]
Huh? Oh, no, of course not! That's fine. I just, um... I just wanted to ask. Why do mirrors make your magic weaker?
[ it's weird. on some level, he gets it? like. he might not understand, but he gets it. he'd feel weird right now if there was a mirror in the room, after all.
not that beatrice has anything to be ashamed of if she looks. ]
[ The fact that Venus is just not a good boy, well... Beato has figured that out already. It's so obvious. She's just not quite sure what it is he wants to be good about instead. ]
Hmm? Don't ask silly questions. Mirrors are very good at revealing truth and magic and truth can be very different things. Sometimes they're the same, of course...
[ She taps a finger against her chin and a brush adds another bit of blush. ]
It's coming along very well, though. This particular magic~.
Oh, [ he says, and then, ] oh. I think... I get it? Maybe?
[ and the thing is, he's not lying, for once. he doesn't exactly get it, of course; whatever the truth is behind what she's saying, he doesn't know and he doesn't need to. but he understands the general feeling, and maybe that's... the magic?? maybe????
or maybe the magic is just makeup from a girl who is much older and much prettier than you. he flushes, squirming in his seat but trying desperately to keep his face still as ordered. ]
Um. Just to make sure, you're not going to like... Do creepy horror makeup or anything, right?
[ maybe he shouldn't have said that. who knows? maybe she'll do it now. as much as he hopes she doesn't, a part of him hopes she does, too - so that he doesn't have to see what he looks like with real effort. so that that crushing weight doesn't have to come down. ]
[ Beatrice leans in and begins to delicately apply mascara to Venus's eyelashes, her smile warm and knowing as she listens to the boy. The question gets a laugh, though she manages not to clump the stuff all over his face when she does. Thanks, magic. ]
You really have such lovely lashes already, I don't have to do too much to them. Hm.
[ The distinction she makes is likely more than a little obtuse. It matters to her, though, and her deft movements apply more mascara to the other eyelash. A dark pencil is brought up and eyeliner is applied. ]
Oh, dear Venus. If I did you up with a creepy, horrid look that wouldn't be magic. That would just be a trick. You'll really have to learn the difference.
[ She flicks a hand and a stick of lipstick appears, dark red to match against Venus' pale cheeks. ]
I think this color will suit you. Push your lips out like you're going to give someone a kiss for me.
[ her dreams have always been fitful and restless, even before her arrival. flying through the skies, moments before crashing; wearing comforting skin, glittering beneath the starlight, moments before it is torn away. and her arrival has done little to change that, past stripping away a veneer of false reality and allowing her to drift quietly through the ocean.
but tearing away her old body? that's a different matter entirely. she is no longer bound to drift in quiet reflection; she flies of her own volition, feathers that are both wave and particle and eyes that are extended wings guiding her path effortlessly. she navigates through the newly bright ocean with the ease of a practiced sailor. like she's been here her whole life. like she was meant to be here, the whole time. sometimes she glides into the boundaries of memories; sometimes, odd shapes begin to form around her, and she realizes she is seeing dreams. she never delves too deep. those are things she would rather ask for, first.
and then, tonight, she sees another person drifting in the distance: a familiar face, one she complained to once. long ago, when she was still resentful and quiet and hurting. (now she's just resentful. it's a change for the better, anna's reassured her.)
she drifts closer, illuminating the ocean between dreams with each flap of her wings. and then, when she is close enough, she simply says- ]
She's been in this sea before. It's sort of a nightly basis now. Or rather, whenever she sleeps, which isn't necessarily nightly at all. But this is new. The dreams are unfocused, she can peek into them but not quite fully enter yet. Her powers are too weak, aimless.
She looks at the figure of light and feathers and eyes. A perfect monstrosity. She smiles, despite herself and her voice comes out as a smooth echo.]
Do you know anyone else with a golden skeletal arm?
...Love the new look, hon.
[There's even a slight quiver of envy to her eyes, and an even fainter glimmer of fear.]
I mean, not yet? But I feel like it's gotta catch on sooner or later.
[ a giggle echoes out from her, spreading through the dreamy currents around them. it's... warm. not warm in the way a voice usually is - well, maybe a little - but warm like starlight falling on ianthe's skin. ]
Haha! Right? [ she dances and flits around, wings and eyes winding and wrapping and coiling around each other in a happy little motion. ] It's like, I hadn't even noticed how much I hated it? And now I can't imagine ever looking like that again.
[ envy... envy, venus understands. envy is something she can see in someone else's eyes, and for the first time in her life, it's even something she can understand aimed her way. not that she wants it. or at least, not that she wants too much of it. maybe a little is fine?
but fear... fear is something that even now, she can't quite wrap her head around. sure, people might be afraid of her like this, but-
but they'd talked about hating this world- about hating god-
why would ianthe have any reason to be scared? ]
So... Come by here often?
[ especially when the devil is such a fucking dweeb. ]
Maybe if you chop off enough arms, they'll finally start saying "Let's get a little crazy with it."
[She crosses her arms, thoughtful. The giggle is... attractive, radiant in it's warmth. They tend to associate radiance with God but he's never been anything but cold.
It's embarrassing, but Ianthe still finds herself mystified at the sight of her. She smiles at Venus' description. It's very familiar to her, of course. She just happened to be considerably younger when she started modifying Coronabeth's body, and her own. Never to her satisfaction. She was never full, after all.]
Nobody notices they're living in a shell until they start to hatch. [She hadn't guessed at the specifics, but yeah, Venus seemed like one of the most miserable creatures she'd ever seen, trapped under layers of discomfort. There was always something sleeping beneath. Something terrible - something beautiful (aren't they the same?).
Then again, she had one conversation with her before her little awakening.]
I sure seem to end up here often. Wherever here is. Shall we go walking?
Oh, wow. That's. A really good way to put it, actually?
[ for a moment, confusion crosses the devil's expression - or at least, what passes for confusion when one is made solely of eyes and feathers and light. like there's another similarity between the two of them that's only just dawned on her, or something close enough to similarity to make the difference irrelevant.
but then, they barely know one another, and this is only their second meeting. so venus shrugs, or gives the best approximation she can, and floats closer. ]
Oh, uh. Sure. I guess I'll follow? I've never really gone too deep around here...
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for anna and kaine. also this takes place after the battler+beatrice one
and then there is a flare of light, a burst of static, and the radio screams to life. a siren echoes out from it, haunting and high - an unearthly wail more familiar than either of its inhabitants might want to admit. the sound chokes, tunes, strengthens and dissipates at random until finally-
finally-
the signal clears, and venus's voice echoes out throughout the apartment. she is crying, sobbing, hiccuping as her voice catches in her throat. she chokes out words without thought, quiet words that echo throughout the room: ]
[ the voice builds, layering over one another as it grows stronger and clearer, until it's almost painful-
until that wail grates at the nerves, until the pitch it hits is the exact sort of miserable to drag along your spine-
until there's a rustling at the door, the sound of a key fumbling at a lock, and a sobbing venus bursts into the room.
his cheeks are blotchy and red, a terrible swelling from where he's been rubbing at them. his eyes are bloodshot, thin capillaries of red breaking into that beautiful cyan. he is done up like a porcelain doll, beautiful in its own way: lined eyes and smeared mascara and a deep red across his lips, a black and gold dress that only serves to highlight the pale skin that still shows. and across his right arm - her right arm? - a jagged crack runs deep, with a brilliant light shining through.
it's a mess. venus is a mess. and it's beautiful, in its own way - venus is beautiful, like this. ]
no subject
[she turns her head after examining the radio for longer than she'd prefer, and she can hear someone trying to get in, and she realizes it must be venus. she walks closer to the door, ready to comfort him because that's exactly the kind of thing that it feels like she'll have to do—]
[and then she sees him.]
[he makes a good girl, she thinks, but he's clearly not on the same page. there's light coming through, like he's breaking apart, and that's the thing that draws anna's attention more than the makeup, the clothes, the tears.]
K? [she calls further into their shared house.] K, grab some bandages or something. It's Venus. [and she approaches him and her attention is fully on him now and she is looking.]
What happened? Does it hurt? [a pause. she considers calling attention to the rest, but she puts it into the back of her mind; she needs to take care of something more pressing first.] Who did this to you?
no subject
She's halfway toward the door herself when she hears Anna call after her, and she turns right around. Things might have gotten... complicated with Venus last month, in a way they never had a chance to address, but there's not a moment's hesitation for her to help a friend who needs her.
So it doesn't take very long for Kainé to hurry back to the door, her mouth a grim line, carrying a roll of bandages. Her expression changes immediately when she sees him (her?), cracking at the seams, light shining through, beautiful and sad, all done up like a doll that's been left out in a typhoon. ]
Holy shit. Venus, will it break if I wrap this around it? [ The light is so beautiful, she doesn't want it to go away. But it wouldn't be great if she lost an arm, either. ]
no subject
[ it probably sounds like nonsense. but to him, it's the most sensible thing he's said this whole time. of course it doesn't hurt. he wanted this all along, didn't he? and now the time has come, and he's scared and afraid and ready to put it back-
-but at the same time, he can't bear the idea of putting himself back together. not when it'll hurt to do it. not when his arm feels nice like this, nice in a way he's never ever felt before. ]
Nobody. Nobody did this. It's my fault. [ she repeats it under his breath, murmuring and clutching his arm; his hand lies limply at her side. ] It's not... I don't even know what I look like, right now. [ a sad, hollow laugh; it echoes out from his voice at his mouth and her voice at the radio and something else entirely from the jagged crack on the arm. ] Sorry. I... I must look ridiculous, right?
[ a deep breath in. a deep breath out. small little hiccups and sobs still escape him, but he tries to force himself to be steady. ]
You can wrap it. It's fine for now. [ he doesn't know how he knows that. he doesn't even know what he means by "for now." maybe he'll tear it off. maybe it'll come undone. maybe it'll save him. ] Just. Not- not too tight, okay?
no subject
[somehow that's the first thing she says. somehow she's the one who puts herself in the role of moral support, of the voice, of the face of things—while kainé can actually do something to help, she's sitting here running her mouth because it's one of the few things she thinks she's halfway decent at.]
You look like... god, Venus, that light. [she doesn't know what else to say about it, though. so much for having the right words.] I keep feeling like I've seen it come off you before, but I've never seen it glowing so strong like this. It's like there's something inside of you that really wants to come out.
[and as the astonishment fades a little and she stops fumbling over her words as much, she glances over to kainé, and her lips close. is anna just being stupid? she might be. but there's another question, then, that she doesn't think she's ever really asked before.]
If it doesn't hurt, what do you feel?
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...No. [ She shakes her head, pulls away from Venus' arm. She doesn't entirely know what this is, but she can already intuit that shutting the light away might be worse for Venus than letting it out. ] I won't put it on unless you ask for it. Fuck that.
[ She returns Anna's look. She really doesn't know what to do. But maybe she's not the one who has to. ]
Yeah. What will happen if the light comes out, Venus? Who will you be?
[ That was always it, wasn't it? Venus wanting to become something else, other than what he was. Something that he thinks is wrong but wants so bad. ]
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[ his fingers start to prod and pry at the crack - then withdraw as if stung. he can't. he can't. he needs to just wait, to just let kainé bandage it up, and maybe they can pretend things are normal for just... another week. another day. anything.
that's the plan, at least, right up until kainé refuses. ]
Why not? [ his voice is high, tense, strained. he's scared. he's so, so scared. ] It doesn't- it doesn't have to be tonight. It doesn't have to be here. I can- I can find somewhere else, and make sure they have a radio, and-
[ who will you be?
kainé's voice is low. kainé's voice is higher than his. anna's voice is soft. anna's tone is blunter than his. both of them are beautiful and wonderful and terrible, and both of them are telling him-
it's okay.
you look fine.
what will happen?
he's not scared to become the devil. he's not sure he has been in a long time. he's just scared of what they'll think. anna, and kainé, and shiro, and beatrice-
why should you be scared? the radio whispers, quiet, soothing - her own voice coming through the static. they're here. they're with us. they won't leave.
he fumbles for a grip on the wall behind him, forcing himself onto his feet. ]
I don't know. [ a deep breath, interrupted halfway by a whimper, then another. ] And- and I don't care. I don't care anymore, and I should, but I just don't. I'll do awful things, and be the worst person here, and just-
[ a half-stifled hiccup. the crying has eased, but it's not like he's stable just yet. he walks to the kitchen, stumbling for a moment before picking up the hem of his dress with a surprising ease. ]
Alcohol. Where's the alcohol? [ the tension in his voice slowly shifts, the terror and self-hatred easing into a frustrated anxiety. ] I want to do a drink. If I'm going to be the devil, I deserve a drink.
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[when venus says it outright, confirms what's been going through anna's mind—about the devil at least—she laughs and shambles her way over to the kitchen, taking her time with each step. as she passes by kainé, and only when venus isn't facing them, her lips curl up into a smirk. they're so fucking smart. a million IQ and a hundred percent sales tax.]
Harder stuff is higher up, V. So we're finally going to see what happens to someone when they let the devil in? [she leans on the counter. there shouldn't be this happy undertone to her words, but it really feels like she's about to witness the birth of something beautiful here. it will be a creature made of blinding, glorious light, and venus will blossom like a flower. it should be frightening, but she knows better. she's sure of it.] We aren't going to leave you alone, okay? Whether you're afraid or not. I told you that we always have room for three.
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We're both a little ways past Devil already ourselves. [ The Devil has been with Kainé for a very, very long time. It feels like centuries. ] If that's who you've gotta be, then I sure as hell ain't kicking you out.
[ She nods to Anna, gesturing at the refrigerator. Anna is a font of corruption, of things she never knew about before that stained her heart. Shit that nobody in the Aerie would like, that's for sure. ]
Fuck’s sake Anna, at least mix— [ Which pronoun? ] mix Venus something. They deserve a little better than straight liquor. We got some soda, right?
[ Maybe Venus wants it to be a little bad, though. She wouldn't blame her. She just wants to see her shine. Maybe that's a bit selfish, but she doesn't care. ]
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[ the spirit of rulebreaking is finally beginning to manifest itself fully. venus throws open the fridge, grabbing the first bottle they can see - a brownish liquid, whiskey or something like it - then uncaps it. ]
I'm... I'm going to do it. I am going to do an alcohol.
[ venus stares down into the abyss. the abyss stares back up at venus. and then, in a single quick motion, venus raises the bottle to their lips and downs a gulp-
and then another-
and then one more, slamming the bottle back up right just in time to voice their regret. ]
HUARRGH. That's awful? Oh my god. I think I'm dying. [ oh, they are turning bright red. venus sinks down, plopping down skirt and all in the middle of the kitchen. ] I'm definitely dying. Ugh. I think that might have been worse than the first time I tried it?
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You're not dying. [she tries for a smile.] But you are getting a good grade in alcohol. My first time with hard liquor was way weaker than this. Don't go crazy with it though, okay? [the smile comes easier; she moves her hand to venus' back.]
We're not gonna abandon you no matter what happens tonight or whatever hell may follow with Her. But if you gotta puke and you can't make it to the toilet, at least try to do it on the tile. Okay? [and she looks up at kainé.] Wanna do shots together?
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Warned you. Try not to make me clean up too much, princess.
[ Was that nickname a good idea? Who knows. ]
Sure. Shame they won't fuck me up as much as they should.
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[ venus's gaze rolls to the side, towards anna; their head lilts just a bit as they stare over at her. ]
And besides, I'll be... I'll be something else by then. So none of us will have to care.
[ they're not drunk - not quite yet, at least. but drinking that much in a short period means they've jumped right into "tipsy as hell," and they absolutely don't plan on leaving anytime soon. venus stares for a few more moments, swallowing heavily.
screw it. they wanted to make mistakes, right? so they'll make mistakes. ]
I think... I hate how pretty you are? [ their voice is soft, gentle - none of the earlier sobbing, none of the frustrated elevation to their pitch remains. it's confessional, not cathartic. ] Both of you. It hurts to look at you, sometimes. A lot of times. Most times.
[ they can't look away. the lights in the corners of their eyes... they're brighter than ever. so bright they can practically feel the heat. ]
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[she's pouring out a round of shots from the whiskey that venus had already chosen when she hears her start talking about... hating how pretty they both are. which is, uh, interesting. she looks ahead of her, as if into an invisible camera, and turns her head slightly.]
Sorry? [she laughs, uncertain. what is she supposed to say? she mumbles something out that starts off loud, but fades into the noise of the light. she can see it; she can't ignore it. but she's not as important as the source of it.] I mean, I don't think I'm that pretty, but Kainé's fucking gorgeous.
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for beatrice, then battler after a bit!
he gets to spend time with her like this, after all. and that's something... that he thinks he likes.
he can't see himself like this - no mirrors, beatrice had insisted, something about weakening her magic that he'd been all too happy to oblige. and as patient as he might be, he's still venus. he's easily distracted, with a mind that tends to wander. so as beatrice floats before him, he speaks without fully thinking it through: ]
Um. Miss Beato? [ it still feels weird, trying to call her by a nickname - even one she'd demanded of him. ] Is it alright if I ask something about your magic?
Re: for beatrice, then battler after a bit!
Part of her hopes he'd fight back, as much fun as it was to see him meekly acquiesce. There had to be a flash of spine in there somewhere.
The thing that made her feel such an odd little sense of kinship with the poor unhappy boy. ]
Hmm? About my magic? What would you like to know? I can't promise to reveal anything of course. Witches list have their secrets~. Kihihi!
[ One of the brushes delicately applies another careful swipe of foundation as she speaks. Soon enough it would be time for the next application: blush, lipstick, perhaps mascara... ]
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Huh? Oh, no, of course not! That's fine. I just, um... I just wanted to ask. Why do mirrors make your magic weaker?
[ it's weird. on some level, he gets it? like. he might not understand, but he gets it. he'd feel weird right now if there was a mirror in the room, after all.
not that beatrice has anything to be ashamed of if she looks. ]
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Hmm? Don't ask silly questions. Mirrors are very good at revealing truth and magic and truth can be very different things. Sometimes they're the same, of course...
[ She taps a finger against her chin and a brush adds another bit of blush. ]
It's coming along very well, though. This particular magic~.
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[ and the thing is, he's not lying, for once. he doesn't exactly get it, of course; whatever the truth is behind what she's saying, he doesn't know and he doesn't need to. but he understands the general feeling, and maybe that's... the magic?? maybe????
or maybe the magic is just makeup from a girl who is much older and much prettier than you. he flushes, squirming in his seat but trying desperately to keep his face still as ordered. ]
Um. Just to make sure, you're not going to like... Do creepy horror makeup or anything, right?
[ maybe he shouldn't have said that. who knows? maybe she'll do it now. as much as he hopes she doesn't, a part of him hopes she does, too - so that he doesn't have to see what he looks like with real effort. so that that crushing weight doesn't have to come down. ]
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You really have such lovely lashes already, I don't have to do too much to them. Hm.
[ The distinction she makes is likely more than a little obtuse. It matters to her, though, and her deft movements apply more mascara to the other eyelash. A dark pencil is brought up and eyeliner is applied. ]
Oh, dear Venus. If I did you up with a creepy, horrid look that wouldn't be magic. That would just be a trick. You'll really have to learn the difference.
[ She flicks a hand and a stick of lipstick appears, dark red to match against Venus' pale cheeks. ]
I think this color will suit you. Push your lips out like you're going to give someone a kiss for me.
for ianthe
but tearing away her old body? that's a different matter entirely. she is no longer bound to drift in quiet reflection; she flies of her own volition, feathers that are both wave and particle and eyes that are extended wings guiding her path effortlessly. she navigates through the newly bright ocean with the ease of a practiced sailor. like she's been here her whole life. like she was meant to be here, the whole time. sometimes she glides into the boundaries of memories; sometimes, odd shapes begin to form around her, and she realizes she is seeing dreams. she never delves too deep. those are things she would rather ask for, first.
and then, tonight, she sees another person drifting in the distance: a familiar face, one she complained to once. long ago, when she was still resentful and quiet and hurting. (now she's just resentful. it's a change for the better, anna's reassured her.)
she drifts closer, illuminating the ocean between dreams with each flap of her wings. and then, when she is close enough, she simply says- ]
Ianthe, right?
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She's been in this sea before. It's sort of a nightly basis now. Or rather, whenever she sleeps, which isn't necessarily nightly at all. But this is new. The dreams are unfocused, she can peek into them but not quite fully enter yet. Her powers are too weak, aimless.
She looks at the figure of light and feathers and eyes. A perfect monstrosity. She smiles, despite herself and her voice comes out as a smooth echo.]
Do you know anyone else with a golden skeletal arm?
...Love the new look, hon.
[There's even a slight quiver of envy to her eyes, and an even fainter glimmer of fear.]
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[ a giggle echoes out from her, spreading through the dreamy currents around them. it's... warm. not warm in the way a voice usually is - well, maybe a little - but warm like starlight falling on ianthe's skin. ]
Haha! Right? [ she dances and flits around, wings and eyes winding and wrapping and coiling around each other in a happy little motion. ] It's like, I hadn't even noticed how much I hated it? And now I can't imagine ever looking like that again.
[ envy... envy, venus understands. envy is something she can see in someone else's eyes, and for the first time in her life, it's even something she can understand aimed her way. not that she wants it. or at least, not that she wants too much of it. maybe a little is fine?
but fear... fear is something that even now, she can't quite wrap her head around. sure, people might be afraid of her like this, but-
but they'd talked about hating this world-
about hating god-
why would ianthe have any reason to be scared? ]
So... Come by here often?
[ especially when the devil is such a fucking dweeb. ]
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[She crosses her arms, thoughtful. The giggle is... attractive, radiant in it's warmth. They tend to associate radiance with God but he's never been anything but cold.
It's embarrassing, but Ianthe still finds herself mystified at the sight of her. She smiles at Venus' description. It's very familiar to her, of course. She just happened to be considerably younger when she started modifying Coronabeth's body, and her own. Never to her satisfaction. She was never full, after all.]
Nobody notices they're living in a shell until they start to hatch. [She hadn't guessed at the specifics, but yeah, Venus seemed like one of the most miserable creatures she'd ever seen, trapped under layers of discomfort. There was always something sleeping beneath. Something terrible - something beautiful (aren't they the same?).
Then again, she had one conversation with her before her little awakening.]
I sure seem to end up here often. Wherever here is. Shall we go walking?
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[ for a moment, confusion crosses the devil's expression - or at least, what passes for confusion when one is made solely of eyes and feathers and light. like there's another similarity between the two of them that's only just dawned on her, or something close enough to similarity to make the difference irrelevant.
but then, they barely know one another, and this is only their second meeting. so venus shrugs, or gives the best approximation she can, and floats closer. ]
Oh, uh. Sure. I guess I'll follow? I've never really gone too deep around here...