deercountry | Was I really seeking good [Open]

Was I really seeking good [Open]

Who: Varian and you!
What: November catchall!
When: Throughout November.
Where: All around the place!

Content Warnings: Child poisoning in the comments, bloodletting in the first half of the Sleeper Farm prompt

BUILDING AN ABOMINATION TO THE GODS - Driveway of Disaster House, Cassandra- OTA

Varian can't actually remember the last time he built something purely for himself. Both back home, in Deerington and here in Trench, his inventions have always had a greater purpose. Sure, he enjoyed making them, but they were always ultimately to help other people. Building something just for his own enjoyment generally wasn't on his radar. It's only recently that he's felt like he's earned the right to indulge in something for himself.

And so, at the start of the month, Varian can be found on the driveway of the Disaster House- starting to put together the very early beginnings of a frame for a car. He isn't bothered by the lightly falling snow- he doesn't feel the cold anymore and the crisp air is honestly good for clearing his head. He's wearing his serial-killer-esque welding mask and has his little foot-pump-powered 1800s welding kit with him, but that isn't doing so well in the cold weather. After a few frustrating attempts at getting the damn thing to work, he gives up, stepping back to stare at the metal he's trying to get into shape. He looks at his hand, a soft hmmmmmm sound echoing in the mask. He's not comfortable with this, but Mako has been helping him get a more...positive outlook on his abilities.

So, for the first time since he got here, he decides to actually use his abilities for something instead of actively avoiding and being reviled by them. He flexes his fingers, using the techniques Mako has run over with him many a time, willing flame to sprout on them. He has to concentrate a lot, and it's definitely not a tiny, careful flame like the one on his torch (he's not quite THERE yet) but it's enough to start welding the pieces of metal together. Once he's done that he snuffs the flame by closing his fist. He steps back, pushing the mask up so it rests above his goggles (why doesn't he just take the goggles off, why does he have to wear both?) to assess his work, before realising someone is standing nearby, turning to offer a little smile.

"Do you think it looks okay? It's kinda shoddy but I guess I can always go over it later once the snow stops."

IT'S FULL OF OPENINGS, IT'S JUST YOU AIN'T SEEING THEM - All around the city - OTA

For once, fate has smiled down at Varian. His Patron is The Tower and while the buildings are shifting and doorways keep vanishing and reappearing he's still able to find his way around. It's given him confidence that means he might just be ignoring the always buddy up system, because it's fine. It's totally fine. He knows where he's going. So he goes about his daily business as normal - unfettered by the chaos that the vast majority of the population are dealing with. He's a compassionate soul, though, and if he sees someone looking lost, he moves over to them, raising an awkward hand in greeting.

"Uh... hey. You look...lost? Do you want me to help you out? I understand where I'm going for...for some reason. If you stick with me, we can get to where you need to go."

SECRET, SECRET, SECRET SECRET BUNKER - Willful Machine - 28th November OTA with CR prompt

Finding the compass on his workbench had been a happy little surprise. He didn't really need one, but it's pretty nice and after quizzing the people in his house (none of whom took responsibility for the little gift) he probably should have been worried about the device that just appeared in his lab in the dead of night. He isn't, though, because it's cool.

Naturally, he uses it as a normal compass first- but as he's working on his car, he does need to try it on bigger things. He's headed to Willful Machine for more parts, and it using it on a sheet of metal on the ground to measure out exactly what he needs. It's while he's doing this that the circle opens up under him, upending him into a little room. One moment he's there, the next he isn't. Maybe you were there to watch him fall in like an idiot. He looks around at the space- full of everything a person would need to hunker down for a night and makes a soft confused noise before yelling because that seems the best course of action here.

"Um- HI??? Is anyone there?"

And if that doesn't work, he'll get out his Omni and send a message to his friends:

Fell in a hole. I think into a pocket dimension? Help.

MUSHABOOMING

On hearing there were cool new mushrooms to deal with here, naturally, Varian's gone about trying to harvest some. He can make all kinds of cool alchemy with them!! This being Varian, of course, means he's neglected some pretty basic health and safety in his mushroom harvesting. So people can catch him in various pickles throughout the town as he goes about stupidly collecting stuff for his lab.

They may find him hallucinating on Walking Terrors, covered in spores and running around with a panicked expression and screaming about the floor melting. Or maybe you'll find him face-down in the dirt, a Floater sitting happily on top of him. Just...help the idiot out, he'd appreciate it.

THE SLEEPER FARM

Varian starts his No Good Real Bad Time swinging upside down- his blood dripping down into a bowl underneath him. It freezes before it hits the bowl, of course, leaving a blue, frozen blood slushie at the bottom. He's still confused how he got here, but he knows that's not the pressing concern here- not while there are other bodies strung up who have definitely had body parts removed. Varian does a quick, muggy-headed check that nothing seems to be out of place- no organs missing, two arms, one leg. Everything as it should be. They've even left him with his prosthetic, which is nice. But he'd still rather get down from here before this gets worse.

"Uhhhhhh, hi? Anyone still...conscious here?"

Or perhaps you find him afterwards, once he's down and on his feet again. He's still got a sizeable gash on his arm, but at least it's frozen over - thanks for the natural cauterization, coldblood! He'll be helping get other people down or helping them move as best he can. Much like earlier in the month in the town, he feels a strange pull towards the way out, and he'll be trying to bring whoever's with him along that path.

"C'mon, I...I know the way out."

He's not offering a reason for that, oh no. It's while he's leading someone towards the alter that they're suddenly pulled out by a force Varian recognises almost immediately. It's an old, familiar one after all- and once they're upended onto the lawn where Disaster House's Lamp Friend sits, he looks up at the sky, frowning.

"...Cynthia?"

[[ooc: As always if you want something else or a closed thread, please hit me up on

teeff or PM me! Will add event stuff later!]]

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Genuine worry sinks into the pit of Varian's stomach once he gets a proper look at Ryan. Oh, oh he looks REALLY bad. Varian dithers for a moment, before frowning at his own jumpsuit, starting to tear off one of the legs. It's fine, it's the one his prosthetic is attached to, it's not like he needs it. Once he's torn it off, he gestures to Ryan's arm.

"Lemmie deal with that first. I'm no Eddie, but I can stop you from bleeding everywhere."

Please let him help you stop bleeding out. He doesn't know why Ryan is so focused on his hand, either. That's...really concerning.

"I know how to get out. I don't know why. I...I've been able to navigate the city, too? It's weird, it's like a pull telling me which way to go."

Ryan looks down at his arm and hesitates. It isn't that he doubts Varian exactly, and it does need attention, but...well. It's hard to put into words. Eventually he holds out his right arm - palm facing down.

"...I don't want to look at it."

And he doesn't. He closes his eyes as though he's bracing for it to hurt, but he just doesn't want to see what it looks like under there - and if he's being honest, he doesn't really want anyone else to either. Beneath his sleeve, the wound looks grisly. The gash is long and deep and while it isn't gushing blood, it's still a dark mess. He's fortunate in that they didn't hit an artery, but it's still more blood than he would like to lose. If any blood is wiped away or if Varian examines his arm more closely, he may see smaller, more erratic scars - older ones that have long since faded into pink marks across his skin.

He absently wipes his free hand on his jumpsuit, knowing full well that he bled right through the sleeve when he was holding it moments ago. It's still hard to think, but he's keeping up.

"So...how do we get out?" he asks. "Where even is this?"

"...Well, that's okay, you don't have to."

Varian's tone is quiet and measured as he gets to work, he tries to clean the wound as best he can but...well, they haven't exactly got the means to do it here. He was honest when he said he didn't know a whole lot about first aid, but he's pretty sure wrapping it will do for now.

He pauses when he catches the scars. He doesn't know exactly what they are, but he can make a pretty solid guess. He knows how that sort of darkness feels, even if when he last faced it, he was looking to a much more...explosive and permanent way of dealing with it. He sucks in a breath, puts that at the back of his mind and finishes dressing Ryan's wound. That's definitely an after kind of talk.

"I don't know. I was strung up and they were stealing my blood? Maybe they're...really determined blood ministers or something," he pats Ryan's knee to let him know he's done. "We need to follow the way through the...whatever this is. Factory? Farm? Something. "

Ryan doesn't know what he was expecting for a reaction exactly. Everything is sort of muddled and his powers aren't working the way they should, so even when Varian touches him he can't feel how he's feeling about it, and he doesn't know if that's better or worse really.

When Varian releases his arm, Ryan finally looks down. Having it bandaged, even with fabric, is a lot better. Carefully, he turns his wrist to look at his palm again too...but this time, there's nothing there.

He tugs his jumpsuit sleeve over the dressing and starts to stand. He's a little woozy still, but he uses the wall to get himself upright.

"Yeah. Yeah, me too. I woke up on a wall," he says, shuddering. If Varian really experienced the same thing, he doesn't have to get into detail. "They don't have to be this determined."

Neither of them have an exact word for this place, but calling it a Farm makes Ryan's stomach turn. But, Varian isn't wrong.

Ryan keeps looking at his palm and that's...worrying. Of course, Varian doesn't immediately realise what might be worrying him and jumps to the wrong conclusion.

"Is your hand okay? Can you bend it? Is it broken?"

He really doesn't need any more details than that, it's...deeply concerning. This place feels wrong and everything in his head is screaming at him to get out while he can. He moves a little closer to Ryan as he wobbles to his feet, standing and raising his hands to catch him- even if the other guy is much bigger than he is.

"I think we should move out of here as quickly as we can. Before they find us," he points. "I think it's that way."

Ryan nearly jumps out of his skin when Varian asks about his hand.

"Y-Yeah! It's-- it's fine, it's not broken! I was just. Uh. ...Making sure?"

It isn't a complete lie, but it's also pretty obviously not the truth either. The startling doesn't help with how unsteady he feels, but once he's upright he's mostly okay. He looks where Varian points, and he nods.

"Lead the way."

It's so much easier to just quietly follow someone else. He appreciates it immensely, and goes where directed by Varian. He trusts that Varian knows what he's doing here.

Well. That sure was a reaction. More worry settles deep in Varian's chest. He wants to ask more, but this is not the place to pry. He's not really sure there's any good place to pry, but it's definitely not here.

"Okay, so long as you're...sure now."

He keeps moving through the farm, leading them around moving machinery and various hallways, following...he doesn't know. The strange pull in his head telling him where to go. After a while of walking, though, he senses another prescense. Something...someone watching them. He pauses, his brow furrowing, he recognises this feeling, it's...familiar. He raises his hand to get Ryan's attention.

"...Wait. I... I think someone's coming."

Ryan isn't sure at all, not by a longshot, but he closes his fist so he doesn't have to see it either way - which should prove that it's definitely not broken.

He follows Varian in almost a fugue, quiet and obedient. It's entirely unlike how he usually acts, as if part of him has completely shut down. He doesn't have that same sense as Varian though, so when he stops Ryan actually bumps into him. When he explains why they stopped though, Ryan freezes. The air is pulled out of his lungs.

"What do we--"

But there's only one thing they can do, right? So he glances around, looking for a place for them to hide.

Varian is quick to note how unnatural Ryan's motions are. He doesn't have the same... pep in his step that the other boy is used to and it's adding to his unsettled feeling about everything. This place is awful, that's a given, but he's starting to worry that something is seriously wrong with his friend.

Varian's about to pull Ryan somewhere...anywhere until the familiarity finally locks into place and he stops. The Moon Presence can be seen now, looking for them, reaching for them.

"...It's Cynthia."

It's not her name, not anymore, but habits are hard to break.

Ryan can see her too, and even though the name doesn't ring a bell, he looks at her in awe. It's probably good he recognizes her, because her Pthumerian form is something to behold.

"...Moon Presence."

They only met once, early in September. Ryan could hear her singing a tune, and so he'd played along with it on his guitar, giving her a little musical accompaniment. She'd seemed pleased about it, and blessed the door of his crappy apartment with beautiful flowers.

Was she there to bless them again?

That's it, he remembers now- that's her new name, the name she took when she came to this new world, reborn into what she once was, what she wanted to be. Freedom from just being a mother, from just being used for others' gains. Perhaps he should have some fear at such an awesome sight, but she was always so good to them- he might not feel the same connection as some of his friends (there's always a touch of trepidation towards the moon after his experiences back home) but she's always been good. He remembers growing her hearts with Fern, helping her.

The Moon Presence finds them, pulls them towards her- and suddenly they are taken from the farm. Freed from the dank, smoke-filled, blood-stained mess and deposited out into a street in Willful Machine. Varian blinks around, confused, trying to get his bearings.

"...What?"

The sudden change in scenery is dizzying and Ryan nearly stumbles in the road. He can breathe now in a way he couldn't in the Farm, and so he breathes and breathes to the point where he's hyperventilating. It's dark out in Trench and he has no idea what day it is but he knows the sun was still out when he got grabbed. In the moonlight, Ryan's larger veins start to glow a milky white. Oddly, it's the most normal thing that's happened to him in the last however long.

"Where--" He looks around hurriedly trying to take in what's around them. "--Are we back in the city?!"

It's not an area he immediately recognizes beyond just being a part of Trench, but it's pretty rare for him to wander beyond Cellar Door and the boardwalk anyway. The only truly important thing is that it isn't the dangerous place they were just trapped in. They're...safe, probably.

Varian does a double-take at Ryan's veins- fight or flight still coursing in his head until he remembers oh yeah, paleblood. He blinks around them and they are, indeed safe. No cultists, no meat hooks, nothing.

"Um...I think so?"

He turns his head skyward, focusing on the moon. Cynthia has vanished, but he knows damn well what happened here. It's not the first time she's shown Sleepers mercy, but boy is he glad for it this time.

"I think she got us out? Cy- uh The Moon Presence. I mean."

Ryan looks up too, as if he's half-expecting to see her form in the sky above them. She rescued them. Saved them from what was probably almost certain death, from becoming literal blood sacrifices.

The tension falls from Ryan's shoulders like a heavy weight. Then...he laughs.

The relief bubbles up in him and boils over and he can't stop laughing despite himself. He brings up his good hand to try and cover his mouth, but it doesn't do a lot of good. Ryan's been wound tight like a spring and now he's been let go and the force of it is probably alarming to witness.

"Oh my god. We...We got--"

He's laughing so hard he can't even finish the sentence.

Varian is still trying to process that they were rescued at all, right up until the point that Ryan starts losing his entire shit. He turns to look at his friend, extremely worried.

"...Okay this is less of a ha ha laugh and more of an actual mental breakdown laugh."

He's going to point out the obvious as he moves over to...awkwardly pat Ryan on the back. There there.

"Uh. Take a deep breath, Buddy. It's okay. We're...we're safe."

The pats should be comforting and soothing, but Ryan is in absolutely no position to control his abilities right now. He hardly notices at first - his face is still in his hand and his shoulders shake from the (as Varian so aptly put it) "actual mental breakdown" laughter.

This time, Varian won't see something when he touches Ryan.

But he will hear something.

As soon as the static comes in, Varian yanks his hand back like he's been burned. Oh. Oh no. Oh this is bad. The concern blooms into full-blown worry- panic seeping at the edges of his consciousness.

"R...Ryan?"

He needs to do something, and fast- he moves to his friend's shoulder again, grimacing as the static returns. He grips Ryan's shoulder tightly, giving him a gentle shake.

"Buddy, you...you gotta snap out of it. C'mon. I'll...I'll take you to Wu. Or Shiro."

People who might have a better handle on dealing with this than him.

When Varian first shakes him, he's a little limp, but it startles him back to attention enough that he jumps. The static abruptly cuts off with a pop, and he pulls back.

"Sorry! Sorry, I'm...I just--"

He just what? He doesn't even know, really. Thinking is hard, words are harder, and he rubs his eyes under his glasses as though he has a migraine on top of everything.

"I just...need to go back to my place. That's all."

There's no more unsettling laughter. Instead he just looks...tired. The last thing Ryan wants is for Wu, Shiro, or anyone to see him like this. Even Varian seeing him in the wake of a meltdown is uncomfortable for him. All he wants is to to lay down for a while and not think about any of this at all.

That being said, he doesn't want to go alone. Not when he can barely navigate anything this month.

"Do you know how to get to Cellar Door from here? Or like. Where the nearest lamp is?"

As Ryan pulls back, so does Varian, holding his hand close to him like he's afraid if he touched Ryan again it will actually hurt the poor guy. He watches his friend with growing concern- this is bad, this is really bad. He doesn't know what's worse- the hysterical laughter or the sudden, abrupt lack of it.

"Yeah...yeah, I can find my way around the city, not a problem," he tries to keep his tone gentle, even, trying to disguise the worry. "I'll get you to a lamp and get you to Cellar Door, okay?

"Okay," he repeats, echoing Varian. "...Okay."

He takes one more look at his hand, and takes a deep, steadying breath when there's nothing there. It's fine. He's fine. He runs that hand through his hair and forces up a grin, as though Varian might believe him if he acts like nothing is wrong.

"Besides, I totally need to change out of this grody thing."

Wearing coveralls as a uniform again makes his skin crawl. Wearing his own again sounds great right about now.

Ryan keeps looking at his hand and worry continues to gnaw in Varian's chest. There's no denying that something deeply concerning is going on here. But he doesn't know how to fix it. He has no idea how to make this better. Especially when Ryan starts acting like everything is fine.

Nothing is fine about this.

"Hah...yeah," his laugh has zero humour in it. "It definitely doesn't suit you. C- C'mon. I'll escort you back home."

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Was I really seeking good [Open]

this is super duper fine

cw: arm wound, blood, hints of past self-harm

cw: for light suicidal ideations

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