deercountry | Was I really seeking good [Open]

Was I really seeking good [Open]

Who: Varian and you!
What: November catchall!
When: Throughout November.
Where: All around the place!

Content Warnings: Child poisoning in the comments, bloodletting in the first half of the Sleeper Farm prompt

BUILDING AN ABOMINATION TO THE GODS - Driveway of Disaster House, Cassandra- OTA

Varian can't actually remember the last time he built something purely for himself. Both back home, in Deerington and here in Trench, his inventions have always had a greater purpose. Sure, he enjoyed making them, but they were always ultimately to help other people. Building something just for his own enjoyment generally wasn't on his radar. It's only recently that he's felt like he's earned the right to indulge in something for himself.

And so, at the start of the month, Varian can be found on the driveway of the Disaster House- starting to put together the very early beginnings of a frame for a car. He isn't bothered by the lightly falling snow- he doesn't feel the cold anymore and the crisp air is honestly good for clearing his head. He's wearing his serial-killer-esque welding mask and has his little foot-pump-powered 1800s welding kit with him, but that isn't doing so well in the cold weather. After a few frustrating attempts at getting the damn thing to work, he gives up, stepping back to stare at the metal he's trying to get into shape. He looks at his hand, a soft hmmmmmm sound echoing in the mask. He's not comfortable with this, but Mako has been helping him get a more...positive outlook on his abilities.

So, for the first time since he got here, he decides to actually use his abilities for something instead of actively avoiding and being reviled by them. He flexes his fingers, using the techniques Mako has run over with him many a time, willing flame to sprout on them. He has to concentrate a lot, and it's definitely not a tiny, careful flame like the one on his torch (he's not quite THERE yet) but it's enough to start welding the pieces of metal together. Once he's done that he snuffs the flame by closing his fist. He steps back, pushing the mask up so it rests above his goggles (why doesn't he just take the goggles off, why does he have to wear both?) to assess his work, before realising someone is standing nearby, turning to offer a little smile.

"Do you think it looks okay? It's kinda shoddy but I guess I can always go over it later once the snow stops."

IT'S FULL OF OPENINGS, IT'S JUST YOU AIN'T SEEING THEM - All around the city - OTA

For once, fate has smiled down at Varian. His Patron is The Tower and while the buildings are shifting and doorways keep vanishing and reappearing he's still able to find his way around. It's given him confidence that means he might just be ignoring the always buddy up system, because it's fine. It's totally fine. He knows where he's going. So he goes about his daily business as normal - unfettered by the chaos that the vast majority of the population are dealing with. He's a compassionate soul, though, and if he sees someone looking lost, he moves over to them, raising an awkward hand in greeting.

"Uh... hey. You look...lost? Do you want me to help you out? I understand where I'm going for...for some reason. If you stick with me, we can get to where you need to go."

SECRET, SECRET, SECRET SECRET BUNKER - Willful Machine - 28th November OTA with CR prompt

Finding the compass on his workbench had been a happy little surprise. He didn't really need one, but it's pretty nice and after quizzing the people in his house (none of whom took responsibility for the little gift) he probably should have been worried about the device that just appeared in his lab in the dead of night. He isn't, though, because it's cool.

Naturally, he uses it as a normal compass first- but as he's working on his car, he does need to try it on bigger things. He's headed to Willful Machine for more parts, and it using it on a sheet of metal on the ground to measure out exactly what he needs. It's while he's doing this that the circle opens up under him, upending him into a little room. One moment he's there, the next he isn't. Maybe you were there to watch him fall in like an idiot. He looks around at the space- full of everything a person would need to hunker down for a night and makes a soft confused noise before yelling because that seems the best course of action here.

"Um- HI??? Is anyone there?"

And if that doesn't work, he'll get out his Omni and send a message to his friends:

Fell in a hole. I think into a pocket dimension? Help.

MUSHABOOMING

On hearing there were cool new mushrooms to deal with here, naturally, Varian's gone about trying to harvest some. He can make all kinds of cool alchemy with them!! This being Varian, of course, means he's neglected some pretty basic health and safety in his mushroom harvesting. So people can catch him in various pickles throughout the town as he goes about stupidly collecting stuff for his lab.

They may find him hallucinating on Walking Terrors, covered in spores and running around with a panicked expression and screaming about the floor melting. Or maybe you'll find him face-down in the dirt, a Floater sitting happily on top of him. Just...help the idiot out, he'd appreciate it.

THE SLEEPER FARM

Varian starts his No Good Real Bad Time swinging upside down- his blood dripping down into a bowl underneath him. It freezes before it hits the bowl, of course, leaving a blue, frozen blood slushie at the bottom. He's still confused how he got here, but he knows that's not the pressing concern here- not while there are other bodies strung up who have definitely had body parts removed. Varian does a quick, muggy-headed check that nothing seems to be out of place- no organs missing, two arms, one leg. Everything as it should be. They've even left him with his prosthetic, which is nice. But he'd still rather get down from here before this gets worse.

"Uhhhhhh, hi? Anyone still...conscious here?"

Or perhaps you find him afterwards, once he's down and on his feet again. He's still got a sizeable gash on his arm, but at least it's frozen over - thanks for the natural cauterization, coldblood! He'll be helping get other people down or helping them move as best he can. Much like earlier in the month in the town, he feels a strange pull towards the way out, and he'll be trying to bring whoever's with him along that path.

"C'mon, I...I know the way out."

He's not offering a reason for that, oh no. It's while he's leading someone towards the alter that they're suddenly pulled out by a force Varian recognises almost immediately. It's an old, familiar one after all- and once they're upended onto the lawn where Disaster House's Lamp Friend sits, he looks up at the sky, frowning.

"...Cynthia?"

[[ooc: As always if you want something else or a closed thread, please hit me up on

teeff or PM me! Will add event stuff later!]]

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She shrugs a little, as if she's trying to downplay it.

"It's just how these things work. If you hear something often enough, it's easy to start believing in it yourself as well." Or in Ange's case, stop believing. "If anything, it's more impressive that you stuck with what you thought, despite no one else being on your side when it came to it."

"Hah, I guess I'm just too stubborn to do anything else," he admits sheepishly. "Once I put my mind to something, nothing's ever gonna shift me. I knew I was right, and I wasn't about to let them tell me otherwise."

He smiles, a little sadly.

"But I did have people who stood by me afterwards. I'm sorry you didn't have that."

People who stood by him, huh? He did mention his family, though that.. whole unfortunate incident happened. And then there's Rapunzel, and perhaps other friends.. Sure, Varian didn't have it easy, and he did some really dumb stuff, but apparently somehow things ended up okay for him after all.

It might be enviable, considering how utterly constantly crappy Ange's life has been, but she's not the type to get jealous of others because of it. Besides--

"It's fine," she says, shaking her head. "I have people like that now."

After all, no one in this place ever bothers to doubt her when she says she can use magic.

"It just took me a little while longer in the end to find people like that, I guess."

He was endlessly lucky. Even after all he'd done, his friends were there to help him pick up the pieces- help him work himself out again. He's never felt like he deserved such treatment if he were honest. He deserved to be thrown back into the dungeons and ignored for the rest of his days. But that's not what happened. That's not the Corona Rapunzel wants to rule, and he's endlessly grateful for the second chance and support he received with it.

"That's... good. That you have people here now. That's...what matters."

Because this is where they're living now- presumably forever. She needs that support here, and she deserves so much. of it in his opinion.

"Sometimes it takes...time. But I'm glad you have them. Really, Ange, very glad."

Edited 2021-11-23 12:16 (UTC)

".. when you put it like that, it feels so weird," Ange says.

It doesn't sound like a bad kind of weird though. Not necessarily. It's the kind of weird that makes her voice go a little bit quiet, that almost makes Ange seem shy as she stares at the ground while they walk, maybe idly kicking a rock along, just to have something to idly do.

"People being nice to me was already weird enough." A pattern that she recognized somewhere along the way in Deerington, as she stayed there for longer and longer. Going from absolutely no one caring about her to that was.. a lot. "But you saying you're glad that I have something to make me happy.. That's another level entirely."

She shakes her head. It's just weirder because.. at least with people being nice, you can blame it on it being their personality.

But what does Varian have to gain out of her being happy for himself? Absolutely nothing.

And yet he's emphasizing how glad he is.

"People caring still feels weird."

"I...sure, I guess? I can understand that a little."

Varian's struggled with his own feeling of self-worth for so long, but he's learned to accept people will give a shit about him regardless of if he wants them or not, regardless of if he thinks he deserves it or not. It was a hard road to come to accept it, though.

But Ange is such a good person, in his mind. She deserves people caring about her, she deserves people wanting the best for her and being glad she has even a sliver of happiness in her life. For people to want her to have more of it.

"I think people just...care. And even if you don't understand why they do, they still care anyway," he offers her a small smile. "I gave up trying to understand why they did and just...accepted that they cared about me regardless of my feelings on the matter."

She gets that part, at least. That no matter what you try, they will still care. That's been proven pretty well to Ange at this point. The care brigade never stops, no matter what you try to tell them, or no matter how you try to present yourself.

But in the mutual realisation that all they can do is give in to it, Ange can't help but just say: "Ahh, you're just giving in to the caring mafia. Just like that."

.. she's realising that Varian probably doesn't know what the mafia is. But. Well. It's just a dumb deadpan joke anyway.

"I didn't realise they had gotten to you that much already."

"I'm...not sure what a mafia is but I'm gonna go yes?"

That seems like the sensible direction to go here, he can read the room- like a pro, even! He'll even laugh at her deadpan joke.

"I still don't really feel like that myself," he admits. "But that doesn't seem to factor in if they care or not. In fact, it usually skews them even further into caring about me."

Ugh. She hates it because Varian is so right here. There is absolutely no way to escape the caring brigade, and it's occasionally terrifying.

It makes Ange pull a bit of A Face (like a kid who really doesn't want to eat something that was just put in front of them, really) as they walk, but she shakes her head and instead says:

"They didn't have the mafia where you come from either? I'm slowly starting to feel our worlds are total opposites."

Not just in time or technology levels, but also the magical differences, and then stuff like this on top of it..

She will never escape them - she is doomed and the face she pulls makes him laugh.

"No, we didn't. What is it?"

He's picturing some sort of...building where people go for hugs or something. That's probably right. He's totally got this.

"It really does sound like, huh? But hey, it means we get to learn weird new things from one another we wouldn't experience otherwise, right?"

"I don't know, I'm not sure how to feel about a world with magic everywhere.." And where singing is apparently normal, Ange will later learn.

Varian, please, how are you even possible as a product from that sort of world. At least Ange matches how awful her own world is, okay! This is how introverts are born, because they don't want to interact with terrible worlds!!

Shaking her head to get the thought out of there though, she instead focuses on his question.

"And the mafia is.. well, you probably have something like bandits in your world, right? People who just rob others? They're kind of like that, but much more organized. They have hitmen and underground torture rooms, all that stuff." You know, casually saying 'all that stuff', because underground torture rooms are totally normal. And totally comparable to extroverts who won't stop caring about you.

(It's a form of torture in its own way, clearly.)

"It's okay, I've lived there most of my life and I'm still not sure how I feel about it."

So much singing. All the time. And he often questions how he came to exist in a world like that. He feels the real answer is that the universe likes him to suffer. Seems a rational explanation for all of this.

"Oh yeah! We have lots of bandits back home. There's an organised group...or there was. They were ruled by this guy called The Baron, and if anyone has underground torture rooms, he probably would," did he die? he vaguely remembers Eugene saying the guy had been bitten by his own venomous spider. "Okay, I understand the context now."

Ange releases a sigh.

"I guess some things are just universal." Even if they call them different names from world to world. But shitty people will apparently be shitty people, even if they are born into worlds where magic and singing is very normal. Like some sort of fairytale land.

She shakes her head as they're still walking, pretty much heading into the right district now. Though even getting lost in the district you live in is very possible this month, so it's a good thing that she's still following Varian's guidance here.

"My family was like that on my mother's side. They definitely had those underground rooms. I've almost been there."

There are some really shitty people that Varian's heard of. Of course, he used to be one of them- he didn't spend a year in prison for nothing. But Corona is a place of second chances, there aren't many people who Rapunzel hasn't found it in her to redeem. But the Baron? He's definitely one of the rare few.

"Oh wow, that's," surprise crosses his face- surprised and genuine sadness for her, she's been through so much already, clearly, this is...deeply unfair. "They'd do that to you? Their own family?"

.. that's right. Varian seemed pretty close with his own family, huh. After all, there's no way he would have been as panicked about what happened to his dad if he didn't care about him a lot - so of course he would assume family treats each other well. Cares about each other.

Despite the awkward context behind that example she has as to why Varian cares about family, Ange feels kind of glad. No one deserves to grow up with a crappy family. The more people out there can experience familial love, the better.

Especially since Ange knows what it's like for it to not be there at all.

"I mean, I think aunt Kasumi saw me more as a walking bag of money than as a niece." Ange manages to say it rather airily though. Her shoulders pull up into a shrug, a 'what can you do?' kind of gesture. Like she's talking about a minor inconvenience. "If anything, us being related probably made her hate me even more."

Despite all the problems he had with this father, and with his found family on top of that, despite all the harm he put them through- none of them has ever hurt him on purpose. The idea of them turning and doing something like this to him is just...unthinkable. To hear Ange has been through this, to be treated like that by her own family? It twists painfully in his gut.

"...Ange, I'm so sorry, you never deserved that," Ange is good people, he'd fight anyone over that. "You- family should never do that- they're...they're the people who should love you unconditionally."

"I.. don't think that's often how family ends up working out," she says, a little bit softer now.

Not that her own parents didn't love her, or her older brother - so she knows that it does exist, that kind of unconditional love. But they died when she was so young, and everything after that just made it more and more clear to her that often parents don't unconditionally love their children. That family sometimes just doesn't matter at all.

Ange releases a sigh and shakes her head though, like she's trying to shake this entire thing off like it's nothing. Trying to not think too deeply about it.

"But.. you know, I'm glad you can say something like that." She doesn't quite smile, but the corners of her lips do tug up slightly as she glances in Varian's direction. "It means you did have family who loved you like that, huh?" Even if Other Complicated Stuff happened with them, as far as she knows from what he told her.

Edited 2021-12-06 22:37 (UTC)

"...I guess it doesn't."

Rapunzel and Cassandra had suffered greatly under Gothel, after all. She wasn't the sort of family anyone should have to deal with. It's not like he isn't aware how bad it can be. But Ange is right, he lucked out. A tiny, tired smile flits across his features.

"Well...aside from the family I found it was just me and dad, and things weren't always...great, " that's an understatement, but she knows that by now. "But...even with all that, I always knew he loved me. I didn't always know if he was proud of me or...anything, but I knew he loved me, and I loved them."

He frowns softly, staring at their feet.

"I'm really sorry you didn't have that. You're a really good person...you deserve that much."

Proud, huh. It's a word Ange considers for a moment in this context. It's not something she has often thought of, since she was way too busy always missing her family to really worry whether or not they would have been proud of her.. But it's not like it's the first time she's heard of anyone else mentioning it. It does seem to be a problem for other people, wanting parents to be proud of them..

Maybe it really is more of a mundane problem than the one Ange had, she thinks, if multiple people have had it. But it still would have to be hard to deal with it in its own way. Probably.

"It's okay. It's over now." After all, they're all here now. They've left their own worlds behind. Their families, too. "And besides, I've grown into a cute and agreeable girl even despite all that, right?"

That's a joke, okay. A JOKE. Ange is well aware 'cute and agreeable' are just about the last two adjectives anyone might use to describe her.. But she doesn't mind. She might as well use it as a joke to lighten things a bit, she figures.

It had been something that had consumed Varian's existence, back home. He desperately wanted to be...what? Worthy? Of...something. Of his father seeing him more than a screwup or a disappointment. Someone he could proudly point out as his son instead of mumbling awkward, embarrassed apologies to whatever villager he'd crossed that day. He got his fathers approval eventually, but even he knows he caught out external validation far too much. He still struggles with that, even now.

Thinking that he's enough.

At her comment, her JOKE he laughs, properly and honestly, a grins splitting his features. Despite what Ange might thing of herself, Varian thinks she's pretty damn great. But he can at least see this for what it is.

"Oh, of course, you've definitely grown into that- you're a genuinely inspirational story!"

"Okay, okay."

At least Ange seems kind of amused as well as she says that. She's not quite smiling, since those are so rare on Ange's part, but she is at least shaking her head and sounding vaguely amused.

"That might just be a little bit too much positivity there." She can only tolerate this joke being taken so far when she knows that the praise is genuine on Varian's part.

And genuine praise is so hard to deal with, how do other people do it--

The train of thought in Ange's head stops as she notices something.

"Oh.. there's my house." She points at the familiar big green mansion. "Honestly, I thought I was never going to make my way back there at this rate.. Thanks for all the help, Varian. I hope your mysterious new sense of direction only does something good for you."

You know, rather than turning out to be actually bad at some point down the line.

Ange wouldn't put it past the ways things usually are in Trench.

Look, he'll take an amused head shake. He knows he's done well to get that much from her. He raises his hands in mock surrender.

"Okay, okay, I'll let the positivity go, I don't want you to have an allergic reaction or anything."

He stops before getting to the house, offering her a smile.

"Hey, don't mention it, really happy to help you out," and for opening up to him- but he keeps that part to himself. "Hopefully! You never know, it might yet be a horrible sign of my impending doom!"

There they are, back on the cycnic train, toot toot.

"I'll see you around, Ange."

The allergic reaction joke is a good one, at least.

Ange remembers it. She might pull that one out again, sooner or later. But for now she just takes the last few steps towards the house, standing on the porch..

But it's then that she glances back at Varian for a moment.

"Don't do anything dumb, alright?" You know. Like falling deeper and depeer into corruption and turning into a beast over the months, Varian, no--

Except of course Ange can't sense that. It's more just that she's telling him it since she's a little worried about his newfound direction finding powers.

Ange just leaves it at that though. The next moment she's already giving him a brief wave before disappearing into the house.

Enjoy the gift of a shitty joke, Ange. He offers her a smile, raising a hand in goodbye.

"I'll...uh, I'll do my best," he's definitely going to do exactly that. That's exactly what's going to happen to him. "Take care."

And he leaves her to go inside the house, turning to head off home himself, using his weird new skills to get himself there without incident. This time.

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Was I really seeking good [Open]

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