(closed) february catchall

[miyagimagic]

Who: Ange (entreats), Chizuru (tealeafs), Daniel (miyagimagic) and various others.
What: February shenanigans.
When: During all of February.
Where: Locations vary.

Content Warnings: Nothing right now, specific warnings will be in headers when they come up.

( starters in the comments! if you want to plot anything with me, feel free to either pm the journal or contact me at queeningsquare, i'm always open to new ideas and threads! )

Comments

[strikefirster]

[That's not going to stop him from trying. He even rolls over on the couch he's on a couple times trying before Daniel finally speaks up.

He looks over with an incredulous look.]

Aren't you married, Larusso?

Why are you so interested in catching a peak?

[As if Johnny had not sent him a picture of his dick before. But he's mostly ribbing on him. He does turn and lift his shirt. But there's nothing there.]

[miyagimagic]

[ Daniel is glad it's just ribbing rather than an actual protest - because the last thing he wants to do right here is argue with Johnny about whether or not the other should or shouldn't lift his shirt in front of him.

.. but even though he's glad, it's still Daniel. So he can't shut up enough to still say: ]

Okay, Johnny, like you have such an extremely sexy back.

[ Two can play this ribbing game!!

Even though Daniel does actually look enough to say: ]

There's nothing there though. Guess they doctored this photo somehow. [ Which.. is a little disturbing in its own right? Do these Pthumerians have Photoshop? ]

[strikefirster]

[Now here's the actual scoff of offense.]

You're damn right I do. I don't do all those delt flies and rows for nothing.

[Johnny was fucking proud of his workout routine. Thank you very much.

But there's a pause and when he speaks up again there's an edge of worry and anger in his voice.]

Those fucking assholes- They must have took me to some fucking clinic while I was drunk for them to put whatever fucking magic bullshit this is.

It probably only comes out at night or some shit.

[Johnny doesn't know what a doctored photo or photoshop is.]

[miyagimagic]

[ ...

Daniel glances up at Johnny when the other says that last part. And he just-- he just stares. It's not even a judgemental stare at first. No, instead Daniel looks completely baffled that this is where Johnny's mind went. You'd think that after all this time Daniel would be used to it, but no, apparently it can still catch him by surprise.

His mouth opens and closes once without saying anything, like a goldfish in a bowl, and then Daniel reaches up with one hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, like he can't believe this is something he's actually hearing. ]

That's-- .. I think it's the photo that's fake, rather than there anything being wrong with your body.

[ His tone is just a little exasperated as he's trying to explain it, but. You know, at least he's staying calm. ]

I mean, have you looked at the rest of this profile? "Yeah, I got into karate for the babes, it's a total chick magnet. Can't deny how fun rolling around with the guys is, though"?

[ Can't believe Daniel LaRusso is saying those words out loud, even if he's just reading them from his Omni's display. ]

You can't tell me you wrote that. [ Maybe if it was just the first half.

Daniel would've believed that. ]

[strikefirster]

So a doctor fucked with the photo? That sounds like they wasted their time going to doctors school.

[Johnny has to think about this for a little. There's a lot screeching as the old rusted gears turn in his head. He doesn't remember writing anything like that.

But he could have been drunk when it happened. It did sound a little suspicious but he can't just agree with LaRusso on this one, right? That would be like taking the easy way out and he has to own up to this shit if he did do it.]

...I don't remember writing it.

But are you saying there's something wrong with a sparring match with a tough opponent?

It's just saying I'm a badass.

[Get defensive. That's the way to go.]

[miyagimagic]

Johnny.

[ Just listen to the way he says that name. It's almost exasperated, yet it doesn't quite manage to reach that level, like Daniel is too baffled to get properly annoyed here.

No matter how much he gets to know Johnny, it's like the other's ability to completely misunderstand anything and everything still catches Daniel by surprise.

(Then again, maybe he's just quicker to catch onto the metaphor here when his wife uses the 'karate' innuendo all the time..) ]

You know that isn't really about fighting, right? [ R-Right? Come on, Johnny, really let those gears work. Oil them up. ] It's a double entendre.

[ Daniel really should know better than to use Big Fancy Words around this guy though. Come on, Daniel, you're just doing it to yourself now. ]

CW: Internalized Homophobia Via Meme.

[strikefirster]

What?

[There is an earnest tinge to the annoyance in his tone in how reacts to this. How is he supposed to know how the internet and editing photos worked? Clearly Miguel was a miracle worker when he made the Cobra Kai webpage. Or just a total nerd.

There's a pause and Johnny blinks.]

What you mean like a fancy dinner?

[That's an entre Johnny. You'd think he'd know this being a former rich kid. But he was too busy with karate, wearing short shors, and riding dirt bikes.

But then something clicks and he gets it.]

What? Are you saying this fucking thing is trying to say that I like dudes? Is it trying to say I'm gay and like men? Fuck that shit. I'm straight. I am straight.

I'm going to kick the shit out of whoever made this garbage.

[miyagimagic]

[ There is, as always with Johnny Lawrence, so much going on here.

So much that Daniel doesn't even know what to address first. Which leaves one option on the table - address one of them in the most dry way possible. Because sometimes he just can't quite suppress the sass when faced with chaos. ]

I think the implication is bisexual, actually. [ Instead of gay.

Does that make you feel better, Johnny. If these dumb texts are calling you bi instead of gay. ]

[strikefirster]

[Johnny is silent for a moment as his brain slowly tries to wrap around Daniel's comment.

Eventually it gives up and the dumbest words possible spill out of his mouth.]

Dude. I'm trying to serious here. I'm not a fucking bicycle. Not just anyone can get on for a ride.

[miyagimagic]

Wha-- [ Just leave it to Johnny Lawrence to catch him by surprise every single time.

Daniel's mouth opens and closes like a goldfish, but then he manages to refind his words enough to shake his head and continue to speak. ]

Not a bicycle! Bisexual! [ God, does Johnny not know what that is?

.. on the other hand, he also didn't know what Facebook was.. ]

It means that you like both women and men!

[ Daniel honestly can't believe that he's sitting here explaining this to Johnny. This is what his life has turned into. A circus. ]

[strikefirster]

[There's a moment where Johnny considers that.

...And then it's his turn to open his mouth again.]

I'm pretty sure my point still stands.