The stakes are high, the water's rough

[klawful]

Who: Karkat & Kyle (Closed)
What: First date shenanigans + Now including November Sleeper Farm prompt
When: Early November - Mid November
Where: Cellar Door + Sleeper Farm

Content Warnings: Mentions of substance abuse, probably consensual violence, NSFW jokes/content, canon-typical humor/crudeness/insulting language of Homestuck/South Park, torture, character death, all content warnings from event, extreme feelings of worthlessness, oppression.


(Karkat hadn't exaggerated when he said he was panicking. He was excited, but also chronically terrified of fucking up every single relationship he's ever touched. He was a mastermind of fucking up. More than that, he really did have little experience with being around so many people all at once.

He winds up filing his horns to be more pointed than rounded, something he had neglected for a while, but it felt instinctual to want to impress his kismesis/more with some more impressive-looking horns. Though the moment he's done with it, he realizes Kyle probably wouldn't even care if they were sharp or not. He throws on something simple but concealing, adding gloves. He cuts two slits in the hood for his horns and he's out the door in seconds. It's colder than he's used to and he winds up turning right the fuck around to go and get a heavier cloak to put on the rest of his outfit. Then he's traveling back through his lamp and winds up at Cellar Door.

He sits himself down on the sidewalk, huddling his legs up against his chest, and waits, watching people walk by with some degree of wariness, but hey. He wasn't outright freaking out and once Kyle showed up, he'd feel way better.)

Comments

[kyley_b]

[Karkat isn't the only one panicking. Kyle has had exactly one (explicitly) sexual and romantic relationship and it had been largely facilitated by memories from an alternate universe, and had also been a completely different dynamic. What he has with Karkat feels much more organic, much more intense, and he's terrified of fucking it all up.

So after he finishes texting he rushes to the shower (careful not to get his hair wet because he sure doesn't own a hair dryer) and then begins agonizing over what to wear.

Thank god he's had some help clothing shopping - he makes a mental note to drop off some thank-you treats.

He's almost late, practically tripping his way onto the sidewalk from the Cellar Door lamp. He's wearing a long green woolen coat over something new that he THINKS is casual enough for movies.

He sees Karkat and beams, hurrying over.]

Hey, dude!

[klawful]

(For as nervous as he felt, it was amazing how most of those nerves melted away the moment he hears Kyle and then sees him. He literally perks up, grinning behind his face cover. He's on his feet in seconds, moving towards Kyle.)

Hi.

(Similarly, Karkat has only really had the one full-on relationship too and that was completely different. And he was glad it was different, really. If it had felt identical to Dave, then he would have felt like he was just trying to replace Dave or replicate Dave in Kyle's image - something that would be royally fucked up to both boys.

Karkat wanted to be here because of Kyle himself and that was enough to know this was worth the anxiety. He looks up at Kyle, tipping his head. He didn't have the greatest eye for fashion, but he obsessively watched Kyle enough to realize he hasn't seen this outfit on him before. And also.)

You look so tall. (Yes, the perfect compliment. A second later and he's wrapping his arms around Kyle's waist in a tight hug, pressing his cheek against his chest. Ooooh man. This was the best already.)

You're picking what we eat because I have no fucking clue what any of this shit is. I'm trusting you not to poison us both.

[kyley_b]

[Oh yeah, he wants to look nice for his guy. He'll deny it, of course.

Kyle laughs and hugs Karkat to him.] Thanks.

Hey, if we get poisoned I'm blaming the restaurant, not me. But there's a place that does meat pies, that's pretty safe.

[Shyly, he takes Karkat's hand in his own.] If I remember right it's just a few streets east.

[klawful]

Meat pie. (Color him intrigued by such a crude-sounding word. When Kyle takes his hand, Karkat jumps a little, but immediately relaxes and curls his fingers through Kyle's.)

That sounds revolting. I love it. Is it just a bunch of animals in one pie or something?

(He walks next to Kyle, keeping close, both because he didn't want to stray too close to other people out and about, but also because he just wanted to be near.)

[kyley_b]

Heh, no, usually it's like, one or two kinds of meat and some vegetables and a sort of... goo. Also this is really making me realise how much basic bitch meat-and-potatoes shit I've been eating lately, wow. But I feel like you like red meat? Or human, heh. You ever hear of Sweeney Todd?

[There's a lightness in his chest as he walks alongside Karkat. He can almost forget that there's possibly still giant reanimated sea creatures skittering around town.

There is indeed a little restaurant selling meat pies. It's small but not crowded enough to be claustrophobic, lit mostly with old wall lamps and candles on the tables. A stoic Trenchie woman shows them to a table off to one side, and Kyle peels himself out of his wool coat. The long floral sweatercoat he has on underneath keeps him cozy.]

Hey, candlelight dinner, there we go. Romance central. You want some wine or a beer or anything?

[klawful]

Goo. Sounds delicious. (He's not even being sarcastic. That was probably something completely lost in translation, but he winds up looking way more intrigued because of it.)

It's probably better than what I've been eating. (Which has mostly been fish - which is pretty repulsive, but he wasn't an especially picky eater. He smirks beneath his face covering.) Oh, does that mean you're on the menu tonight then?

(He realizes belatedly what he just said and immediately wants to die.)

Ooooh my glob. Ignore the entire fuck out of that sentence I just said. That was horrible. Holy shit.

(He is such a dumbass.) No, I haven't. What's that?

(Karkat's grateful that the setting isn't too populated. He peers around, his eyes adjusting to the dim candlelight. He feels something fizzling his way through his chest and by the time they're seated, he's come to realize that he's swooning a little. He glances around hesitantly before carefully removing his hood and face covering. He feels a little exposed, but after looking over at Kyle, begins to relax again.)

It is actually really romantic. I'm trying not to pass out. (He shrugs out of the heavier cloak and stares at Kyle for a beat.)

I'm okay with just water. I've never actually had anything alcoholic before. Some of my human friends drank though. Is it really that good?

[kyley_b]

[Kyle snickers at the way Karkat seems genuinely into goo before cackling outright.] Ohhh my god, dude. Nope, nope not ignoring that, sorry.

It's this musical about this couple that murders people and turns them into pies. Seems like something you might like. [Considering how bloody troll black romances are, he figures.

He watches Karkat remove his layers, smile widening.

You look really good. Did your horns get sharper?

[He waves a hand.] You're not missing much, actually. I'm not really a big drinker, either. Maybe because Stan - my old moirail - he drank a LOT so the appeal wore off really quickly. If you wanted to try any I'd split a glass with you, otherwise water suits me fine.

[klawful]

Shut uuuup. (Except for don't ever shut up, he loves this so much.)

Dude. (Oh yeah. He absolutely loves the idea of this musical.) That's so cool. I always thought musicals were just about poor people wanting bread or what the hell ever. Can we watch that sometime?

(Karkat's taking off his gloves when Kyle points out his horns, and he blushes within seconds. HENOTICEDMYHORNS screeches through his head about three hundred times before he finally manages to grunt out a response:)

...Yes. I...sharpened them a little. (He shyly touches one, as if to hide the evidence of how hard he actually tried to look nice for this. He drops his hand a second later and smiles at Kyle. He never thought he looked good, but hearing Kyle compliment him? It was easy to feel good.)

Thank you. You look really nice too. I like that. (He points to the floral sweater. He really had no eye for fashion, but it was visually interesting and fit Kyle well.)

Yeah. My two human friends seemed to struggle with it a lot. And my ex-moirail didn't drink, but he had other substance abuse issues. (He gives the offer a genuine consideration, but after a moment, he shakes his head.)

I'm gonna say no. I have no idea how that shit would impact me and the last thing I wanna do is wind up a moronic mess on our first date. Maybe on our third, we can go the total disaster route and see what happens.

[kyley_b]

Yeah, some of them are definitely that. But they're not all super lame, some of them are really funny and about cannibals and killer plants and stuff like that.

[Something they both have in common is all the blushing. As embarrassing as it is for both of them, Kyle can't help but be a little glad for it since it provides him an easy tell for if a compliment is well recieved.]

I like them, they're cool.

[And then he goes pink himself.]

Thanks. Uhm. Some people helped me pick out some stuff after I sent out an S.O.S. about it.

[Kyle nods.] Yeah, I think that's the best idea. I want this to be, like. Ugh, is it fucking lame to say special? It's already special ANYway. I mean.

[He's spared further embarrassment by a waitress approaching.]

Nov Event - Few days after date?

[klawful]

(Karkat has no recollection of what happened. He had been working on smoothing out the floor in his kitchen when he blinked. For a second, there was nothing, and then the next, there was pain. Enormous, fierce pain clamped around his wrists, and the air was filled with the odor of burning. Both of his shoulders screamed, dislocated from whatever was pulling him across iron floors.

As Karkat started to properly wake up, he began to do what any troll would start to do: screech and thrash. His arms were useless, but he still had his teeth and legs. There was someone close enough that Karkat managed to lock his mouth around their ankle and get a good chunk out. That was about as far as he got before someone smashed a hammer down against his head. If it weren't for his horns, it might have killed him. It did knock him clean out, paleblood spilling down his face.

By the time he woke back up, someone had strung him up against a chugging metal wall. His uniquely-shaped shackles were still cooling, his hands numb from the pain, and the pain in his shoulders felt like a distant nagging. Cuts zigzagged across his body, more irritating than anything. Something like an arrow had been shot into his chest, narrowly avoiding anything vital.

The pain was terrible, but as Karkat hung there, it wasn't what bothered him. He could handle pain. His kind was meant to handle pain, expect pain, inflict pain.

What he couldn't handle was being strung up on display like his ancestor once was. That he was covered in his own blood for anyone to see - even if it wasn't his real blood, it was still his blood. A mutant's blood. And an execution fit for his kind, for his mutation, and maybe this was what was happening. Maybe he had finally been caught and this was the culling. His head droops low between his shoulders, the one side of his face covered in blood from his headwound, both horns partially cracked from the earlier impact.

He was an absolute fool to have thought life might have been going in the right direction for once.)

...Stupid...

Perfect

[kyley_b]

[Kyle had been brushing his teeth when he'd blinked and suddenly found himself in a red jumpsuit shackled to a wall. He'd hung there for some undetermined amount of time, shoulders protesting but not nearly as much as they could have been - due to his height, the balls of Kyle's feet still touched the floor. He was lucky in another way: oil dripped continuously from above, and although some of it ran into his face, stinging his eyes, far more of it dribbled onto his cuffed hands.

Skinny wrists lubed up, able to stand on his toes to get a little slack in the chain attached to his restraints, Kyle really only had to apply what he'd learned about getting out of handcuffs growing up in South Park and then he was free.

He'd wriggled his way out of the stall he'd been held in, picking his way through the steamy gloom. He picked up a hammer, feeling more secure with at least something resembling a weapon.

Kyle recognizes the smell that grows stronger as he sneaks toward the second floor. He grew up in a farming town, after all, and can't mistake this place for anything but a slaughterhouse.

His wide, horrified eyes flick over the bodies strung up along the walls. Most are flayed, several missing limbs. Kyle's only thought as he breathes in the fine mist of blood that permeates the air is escape.

But then.

There.

Oh.

Karkat, strung up, blood gleaming as it runs in rivulets down into a basin set beneath him.

Kyle's heart plunges into ice and comes out the other side beating so hard it seems to have merged with the mechanical thudding of the walls. He feels a scream welling up in his throat and peeling his lips back, and fights it down with great effort.

Kyle looks around, sees no-one, and hurries across the blood drenched floor to Karkat's horribly battered form. He drops his hammer with a careless thunk.]

Karkat! Dude, wake up, Karkat, it's Kyle. I'm going to get you out, Karkat please wake up.

[He studies Karkat's restraints even as he babbles. That's the first thing - to get him out of those. Although he is terrified, once Kyle sees that the other man is in fact still breathing another more useful emotion begins to pulse in his chest.

Fury.

All links in a chain are forged one by one, the whole thing depending on the weakest not to]

Break.

[Eyes full of glittering blood, he sees the chain break at the same time that he sees it formed. He moves to grab Karkat as the chain that had been hoisting him up snaps, stumbling as he suddenly takes his weight.

The shackles are still on. But he is now in Kyle's skinny arms.]

Karkat? [Eyes clearing, he gently touches Karkat's face.]

[klawful]

(Trolls weren't the type of creature to give up. They were too violent, too stubborn, too aggressive to bother with it most of the time. This wasn't losing in a fight though. This was just humiliation and Karkat didn't know what to do with that. It's such a drowning feeling that he doesn't recognize Kyle's voice at first. Red tears had started to mix into the blood on his face.

Please don't look at me like this. It was easy to forget that humans wouldn't care, that Kyle already knew, that Kyle cared for him for who he was and not the color of his blood, but he remained shackled more to his humiliation than the actual shackles that held him.

It isn't until Kyle breaks the chains and Karkat's body plummets that he's physically yanked out of his own self-pity. His eyes snap open, bright, vivid red, and his teeth grit naturally.

He half looks on the verge of murder, sweeps of ancestral fury and agony at being oppressed crushing through him in the span of three seconds, and he swore he could see the massive shape of the Grand Highblood behind Kyle. A low rising growl snarls out of him, fiercer than the play growls he's given Kyle before.

Then there's Kyle, his soft hand on his face, and the moment passes. The open hostility falls away and leaves in its wake plain and simple hurt. His lower lip trembles and he immediately tucks himself against Kyle's chest, the shame overriding everything else. His whole body begins to shake, his arms hanging limply, the shackles heavy, but distant now.)

I'm - Don't look- (It's stupid, and he realizes it's stupid, but he can't help it. Now that he was more with it, it wasn't just about the blood. He didn't want to appear so weak and hurt in front of his mate so soon in their relationship.)

Fuck. Fuck. I swear I'm not- I'm not inferior. I- I can keep you safe, I swear I'm...I'm not weak. I can - I'm capable of keeping you- I can..I can be strong enough for us- (It's a shaking, broken rambling of a troll who needs to prove his worth, but simply didn't have the ability to at the moment.)

[kyley_b]

It's okay. Shhh, it's okay. [Kyle hugs Karkat as tight as he dares, not wanting to injure him further, careful to avoid the stick jammed in his chest.] I know you're not weak. This place is fucked up, there's something really wrong here.

[Gently, he smooths Karkat's hair out of his face. His heart aches to see how badly he's been hurt. He doesn't dare remove the arrow, but he wonders if he can't get the shackles off. He examines them carefully, frowning. He can't see any way they latch - it's like they were formed around his wrists.]

Okay. Karkat, dude, we gotta get out of here. We're gonna be okay. I'm going to help you up, and we're gonna... we're gonna keep going. There's got to be a way out. [He puts his hands on either side of Karkat's face and looks him in the eye, smiling a little.]

Hey. Hey, we got this. Now c'mon.

[He stands, pulling Karkat up with him. He puts an arm under his on the uninjured side so he can help him along, which means he has to stoop over.

The only direction to go is up. Kyle moves slowly, feet squelching on the bloody floor, murmuring reassurances. The stink and noise of the place is overwhelming.

The third floor has corpses hanging from thick meathooks. Many of them have been hollowed out, leaving wet caverns beneath their ribcages. It's here that Kyke hears heavy footsteps. Eyes huge, he pulls Karkat as fast as he can toward a row of bodies. He gestures at the hook slammed through the base of the skull, then grabs Karkat and boosts him up so he can grab it.

He can only hope that Karkat has enough strength left to hang on long enough.

Hurrying, he grabs a hook himself and pulls, tucking his feet up, basically riding the corpse piggyback. He struggles with his gorge at the thought and wins... barely. He hangs there, sweat pouring off his body, arms shaking, listening to the sound of boots on metal approach... and fade.

As slowly as he can, Kyle lowers himself and turns to face Karkat.

The sound of bootheels fills the world, running towards them. Kyle half turns and sees a huge shirtless figure barreling at him, broad shoulders hitting the bodies on hooks and sending them swinging. Barbed wire has been pulled through its nipples and other incisions in its flesh, and it has its lips completely flayed away. Any eyes it might have are hidden by a leather blindfold so tight it digs cuts into the scant flesh of its face.

Kyle manages a step back and then he slips on wet flesh. The fall ironically saves him from being bodyslammed, but the horrific figure wastes no time in grabbing him by the hair. Not slowing, it keeps moving, dragging Kyle along as he screams and claws at the blood grimed hand.]

[klawful]

(Even stacked with self-hatred, Karkat was already starting to get his shit together. No troll could afford to have a long breakdown when they really needed one. And Kyle's hands, his words, helped calm Karkat back down. He's still crying, but he's not rambling anymore, his breathing evened out.

By the time Kyle's holding his face, Karkat's focused back in, and he gives a silent nod, his eyes wide. Get your shit together. Stop crying like a wiggler. He needs you, broken or mutated or not.

Karkat manages to help himself up, feeling a bit woozy from blood loss. The shackles had finally cooled, but the burns they left behind were worse than the arrow in him. The foul surroundings didn't bother him so much as make his hackles rise. Whatever humiliation he had felt was replaced now with a violent urge to get out of here with Kyle intact.

He ignores the pain shrieking in his arms and hands, getting with the motion of the corpse and hooking a foot inside a carved-out ribcage for support. He can feel one of the ribs crack under his weight, but he keeps himself upright. Just in time for the bondage-freak to come along.)

Kyle!

(Oh fuck no. Karkat swings himself back down from the hook and lands with a grunt. He snaps the arrow off his chest, not worrying about the arrowhead left inside his body, and instead rushes at the figure. Then he pushes off the ground in a sharp jump to the right, using a nearby corpse to rebound off of and come right down on top of the figure. He doesn't think twice, just jams the broken-off arrow piece right through the ugly fucker's head. There's a ripe crunch, like splitting a melon, and Karkat feels the brief satisfaction of a successful kill.

Only to realize he only succeeded in stopping the figure for a second. Everything's quiet, and then, abruptly, everything's loud and a flurry of motion. The figure throws Karkat off of it with relative ease and Karkat lands in a pile of mostly human heads. He scrambles through them, running on pure adrenaline and rage now, and charges back at the figure before it can make it much further with Kyle. This time he aims for the hand attached to Kyle's hair and clenches his fangs right into that wrist, crunching down hard and not letting go. Fuck this.)

[kyley_b]

[The hand in his hair loosens once, and then again. The second time Kyle realises Karkat is right there, his fangs buried in flesh. Kyle manages to get his feet under him and shove, tearing away from their attacker and leaving several clumps of red curls behind.

He scrambles, looking for anything to use as a weapon. He sees a hook dangling from the side of a torso and grabs it, pulling as hard as he can. It comes loose with a meaty tearing noise. Kyle turns and swings the hook as hard as he can into the side of the lumbering masochist's neck.

Karkat has gnawed open its wrist and impaled its skull, and Kyle has punched a hole in its throat. Blood is gouting everywhere, and still it won't die.

But it is slowing.

Kyle grabs for Karkat.]

Dude, come on come on we gotta go, we gotta run...

[He pulls at his arm, trying to move him forward, away from their attacker and hopefully towards an exit.

He hears a clanking sound and risks a look to the side as he runs. Skidding on the floor, he abruptly changes direction, hurrying to a small rectangular hole in the wall. He yanks the door open and sees a small platform covered with gore rising toward them.]

It's a dumbwaiter, Karkat, come on, get in, get IN!

[He looks behind them, hearing the sound of footsteps once more, but sees nothing yet. He practically shoves Karkat into the little elevator, then crams himself in with him, barely making it on in time.

This may well be the worst idea he's ever had, but as the two of them rise up into the dark and away from imminent death, he still feels some relief.

Kyle gropes for his partner and hugs him, breathing hard.]

There's probably someone there, waiting to load or unload this shit. We gotta just... play dead, or move fast. I don't know which.

We're gonna get out of here.

[klawful]

(The creature's blood tasted foul. Where Karkat might normally swallow it, he spits it out, paranoid now of what might be in it. He immediately runs after Kyle. If he had his sickles, if he was stronger - if he didn't have the damn shackles...

But he couldn't think about all that. Not with whatever was on their heels, hot, bloody, and angry as Karkat felt. He's about to ask what the fuck a dumbwaiter is, but there's no time for it, and he trusts Kyle to know whatever the hell he's talking about. He crawls into the dark hole, his eyes sharpening up in the dimness. He tries to scrunch his body up as tiny as possible so Kyle could fit. For the first time in his life, he's glad to be small.

Only when they're alone does Karkat give himself a moment to breathe. He can't hug Kyle back, but he does immediately curl against him, resting his face against his chest.)

This wasn't exactly the fantasy I had planned for our first epic showdown with some monstrous fuck.

(He squeezes tighter against Kyle, the pain in his body ebbing and flowing out of him. His paleblood gave off a soft light in the dark, and he's so glad to not be alone, but God, he wished more that he was if only so Kyle wasn't here to suffer with him.)

We are.

(He leans back from Kyle, sitting onto his calves, snarling down at the shackles around his wrists.)

These fucking things...Okay. Okay. Let me think. (He shuts his eyes. They're in a small space in some torture chamber straight from some crappy 1990s horror game. He rests back, opening his eyes to look at Kyle.)

Best defense is a good offense. If we play dead, they might drag us out like meat. They're probably expecting corpses coming up in this fucker, so if we burst out, we might be able to catch them by surprise...Granted, we could catch them by surprise the other way too, but then they might get closer to us than we want.

(He stares up, counting the seconds ticking by as the dumbwaiter chugged upward. He tried to strain and listen to what was going on around him, and he could hear screams, could smell the fear and gore of this place, the steam, and oil. Then a light clicks and he looks back at Kyle.)

We could do both. I'm bloodied the fuck up enough that I look dead. I could just - fall out. Let me go first. I can take it. Then I'll be on the floor. I'm good at low advantage anyway. I can get behind something's legs or between 'em and you can lunge out. Maybe we can just - use gravity. Knock them down. Might be our only real bet. Unless you got a better idea. (He also really, really did not want Kyle going first into whatever hell they were being carried up to.)

[kyley_b]

[Kyle chuckles breathlessly.] Of course you imagined an epic showdown...

[He falls silent, more than happy to hand over the task of planning to someone who actually has experience with life or death situations.

He nods, looking unhappy.]

Okay. You fall out, I lunge. Then we run like hell.

[He looks up, pale and frightened, trying to figure out how far they've gone.]

We must be a few floors up by now. Maybe there will be an actual exit.

[He looks back and leans forward to press his lips gently to Karkat's.]

We're gonna get out.

[The dumbwaiter shudders to a halt and Kyle presses back, waiting for the door to open.]

rebirth: circa nov 17

[kyley_b]

[It's not a good death. 

The Blood-Crazed Zealots harvest everything that they can while he's still alive. Darkblood is collected, organs removed and placed aside, meat stripped from bones. It is a mercy that Kyle, being human, doesn't last very long once shock sets in. 

What little is left is pushed into a corner to rot. 

The crystals that grow between ribs and teeth and spread to fill sockets and overtake flat expanse of bone are pale, tinged yellow and orange. Ink eventually begins to seep from between the clusters, and it is only then that any attention is paid once more to the corpse as the ink still contains Darkblood, which can be harvested.
When the crystals break, the sad little squid is thrown with no ceremony down a drain, no longer useful.

The ocean is vast and dark and comforting in its indifferent rhythms.

Kyle wakes up on the beach cold and naked. He sits in the sand, knees hugged to his chest, watching the waves break against the shore over and over again. Silent tears roll down his face and he isn't sure why - salt longing to rejoin the sea, perhaps. 

Eventually he gets up. Eventually he finds his way into the city. 

Bare feet know the way home. Inside, he turns on a lamp and sits on the floor until he realises how cold he is. He showers. He finds warm clothes and bundles into them. He sleeps a while.

The following day brings hunger, and with it several attempts before he gets the fire going in his oven. His fingers don't want to do anything precise. His eyes frequently go out of focus. He spends most of the day in bed, warmer now.

He keeps a lamp on at night. 

The third day he sings snippets of songs as he moves around his apartment. They are incomplete and bleed into each other.]

Tell you all the time, Heaven is a place on earth with you
Even though the gods are crazy
Even though the stars are blind
Tell me all the things you wanna do.

[Memories fall into place and his body, although feeling too tight and too sore, has more or less regained all of its previous functionality. 

Sitting crosslegged on his bed, Kyle's long bony hands and feet poke ridiculously out from the hems of a huge woolen sweater and wide flowing pants. He gets his Omni and sends a single text:]

Hey dude. I'm back.

[klawful]

(Karkat sleeps. He doesn't remember crawling into bed, but once he does, his dreamtier self immediately starts to coast throughout Trench looking for Kyle everywhere. Going into walls that Karkat could never reach while away, looking for secret tunnels or voids. He even goes out across the ocean, sinking down beneath waves to look among an impossible amount of squid, identical to another except for quick glimmers of color.

He doesn't find him. When Karkat wakes up, he works on his cave, moving mechanically and effectively. Trolls didn't see death the same way, but what bothered him now wasn't Kyle's death, but the agony of it. He was almost positive Kyle would come back given how death seemed to work among Sleepers, but that wouldn't erase what the death might have done mentally to Kyle. Dave had died so many times, and it had done something to him too, given him a strange perspective of his own mortality.

And more than that, he thinks about his own failure. Failure as a leader, as a kismesis, as a friend, as everything. Another person who had to die because he didn't move quick enough, didn't have the right plan, was too busy with his own pointless, loud emotions.

Anger is easier for him to feel than grief. He digs the rest of the arrow out of his body and smears some slime over cuts. He waits.

When his Omni chimes with Kyle's tone, he snatches it up, trembling, and that's when the grief catches up to him. The sharp relief that Kyle did come back. He reads the text a dozen times because-.

Nope, he's not even responding. He's out of his bed and sprints all the way to his lamp to teleport to Kyle's. He quite literally kicks in the door with all of the dramatics of a troll uninterested in being patient. He at least has the decency to kick the door shut behind him and strides directly over to Kyle, his heart picking up the pace the closer he got, the more he could actually smell and see him.)

THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY?! (He scales up the bed and is in front of Kyle in seconds. He grabs him by the face and just looks at him, eyes darting back and forth as if he was trying to figure out if he was real or not.)

[kyley_b]

[Was Kyle expecting something like this?

Yes. Maybe not the anger, but the dramatic entrance, definitely.

Kyle's hands come up and his fingers grasp Karkat's wrists. He leans forward and kisses his cheek.]

...hi?

[klawful]

Hi?! Oh, I'm so glad you're capable of utilizing your vocal hole still because you're going to need it.

(Karkat emits a small growl at the kiss. It's too gentle. Karkat's wrists were newly scarred from being burnt by the shackles. Paler gray skin was rigged and rippled, the burn scars permanent. His hands curl weakly for a second. The slime had helped tremendously, but they were still tender.

He didn't care. He yanks them away from Kyle's grip and quickly pats Kyle's body down. More importantly, his stomach, feeling for that injury. He slips a hand under his shirt to touch the skin, making sure - just making sure.)

I cannot believe your audacity to die.

[kyley_b]

Yeah. It took me a few days to remember how words work.

[Okay, definitely wasn't expecting the manhandling. The clawed fingers scrabbling over his belly make Kyle giggle in spite of himself.

The skin of Kyle's abdomen is smooth and unblemished save for his old transplant scar.

He slings his arms around Karkat's neck. ]

I'm sorry. Really. It's my fault, I fell right on that thing's stupid knife...

[He shudders, pressing his face against Karkat's neck for a moment.]

You made it out! I wanted Willzyx to stay with you until he couldn't anymore, I just wanted you to get out when I knew I wouldn't make it.

[klawful]

(He hugs Kyle back instinctively, winding up straddling his lap and tucking up against him entirely. He rests a hand against the back of Kyle's head, and for a second, he just holds him like that. Lets it sink in that Kyle was here, Kyle was safe. His guts weren't spilling out. He wasn't dead.)

That's not why it was your fault.

(He murmurs softly, squeezing Kyle harder. But then, he's slamming Kyle down back against the bed hard. He moves forward to pin Kyle's arms down with his knees and presses a clawed hand hard against Kyle's head to force it against the mattress. Then he reaches out and grabs that sickle he had made for Kyle, kept near enough by the bed that it was in easy reach, and he brings it right up against Kyle's throat.

When he speaks again, his voice is choked with emotion, red tears already starting to show up in his eyes.)

Do you know what this is? This is vulnerability. You are vulnerable.

(His voice starts to climb into a shout.)

Do you want to be my kismesis? Because this is not proving to me that you take our relationship seriously. If we die, we die together. If we survive, we survive together. There's no room for a sacrifice in what we have. You don't sacrifice yourself for your kismesis. You don't let anything but me hurt you, because I should be the only thing able to hurt you. That's the promise you made and that you need to keep!

(He was terrified and hurt and relieved and so angry, so furious that his hand was shaking where it held the sickle, but it doesn't cut, doesn't come close.)

You either trust me or don't. You respect me to stay alive long enough to see you die the way I want to see you die. Which, by the way, is when you're old and disgusting and I can barely gag through a kiss with you. Then maybe I'll smother you out of pity so you die with some dignity.

(He yanks the blade away and tosses it onto the ground. He slips off of Kyle and huddles towards the end of the bed, balling his hands up against his eyes, sniffing against them, trying to keep his tears back.)

Don't ever die for me again. Not when I could die fighting by your side. Don't dishonor me like that. I'm-

(He drops his hands, face streaked with tears, and he glares fiercely at Kyle.)

I don't care what they do to me. I can't lose you again like that. If you want a thanks from me, keep holding your fucking breath. I'm livid with you. Get your shit together.

(He takes a deep breath. Closes his eyes.)

But I...owe you a bigger apology than the one you owe me. I'm your leader. (Karkat, no one here thinks you're their fucking leader, dude! But it's clear he takes it all too seriously.) And I completely failed you. I was too busy wallowing in my own stupid fucking self-pity and I didn't have my head in the game. It's my fucking job to keep you safe. And I didn't do that.

(He moves towards the edge of the bed, hanging his legs off the side. He takes a deep breath, bowing his head low.)

That should have never happened. Ever.

[kyley_b]

[The shock Kyle feels when Karkat knocks him over is so total that at first he can barely comprehend what's going on. His partner has a weapon to his throat. His partner isn't fucking around, he's furious.

Kyle feels his own anger rise in response, but before he can point it at anyone else... he gets it.

So when Karkat climbs off of him, he just pulls himself into a seated position and watches. He feels something he wasn't expecting: shame. Because as nuts as it is, he really did let Karkat down. He failed at being his kismesis.

He waits until Karkat stops talking, and then Kyle crawls over and punches him as hard as he can in the shoulder.]

Shut the fuck up, you're not my leader. And you're not my babysitter, either.

[He wraps his arms around Karkat's body and falls back, hauling the troll along with him. He slings a leg over him, too - half hug, half wrestling hold.]

I'm sorry I fucked up. [His voice is soft and serious.] I mean it. I panicked. I've never been in a situation like that. I wasn't trying to disrespect you. I do trust you.

I felt it was MY job to keep YOU safe, too. I couldn't let them kill you, I just couldn't. I'm sorry I gave up, but please know the only reason I did was because I knew I was already dying.

I won't do it again. Next time I'l drag you down with me, if that's what it takes to show you I care.

And don't start with your self pitying bullshit, because it wasn't your fault, and if you insist that it was I will absolutely kick your ass.

[klawful]

(The punch is enough to shock Karkat out of whatever slump of sorrow he was starting to slip into. He reaches up to hold the spot, his face still wet with tears, but it got the job done in stopping them outright.)

I am your leader. You just don't realize it yet, dipshit. (But he wasn't his babysitter, that much was true. He lets Kyle haul them back against the bed, agonizingly grateful for the physical approach. He wants to be completely trapped by this guy. His lower lip trembles for a moment, but he manages to keep himself from bawling some more.)

I can't lie and say I wouldn't have done the same. And that's on me too. We haven't fought together enough to know how each other works in a real fight. And...I should have known that about you too. That you're not familiar with that kind of violence.

(Karkat wasn't familiar with the inherently gentle nature of humanity. He forgot how soft they really could be when all of his human friends had become superpowered freaks through some bizarro game. It wasn't even fair of him to hold that bar up for Kyle.)

I know you do. I know. Shit. I was just fucking upset. We've barely started this - this thing, and I lost you immediately. (He shifts his hands up so he could touch his palm to Kyle's cheek.)

It's not about dragging each other down, necessarily, but...Give me the chance to try and fight for you, okay? Don't throw me out of the ring entirely. We're in this together. Even if I could have made your death quicker, that would have been better than...than abandoning you in that place.

(He rests his forehead against Kyle's, taking in a deep breath.)

Okay. Okay, sorry. (He hesitates a second, and then, with a surprising amount of shyness for someone who had just threatened his partner with a blade, kisses Kyle on the mouth.)