deercountry | (closed) march catchall

[ Sorry, Robby, but that reaction is way too obvious. It might be a good thing in this case - poor Robby's embarrassment aside at being so obvious - since it also means there's no way Daniel could misinterpret it. Usually he might have been a little prone to that, too worried about Robby's potential reaction, but..

.. well, there's truly no mistaking this reaction. Robby definitely liked that, even if it also made him flustered. Nothing about this screams rejection. Just teenage fuzzy warm embarrassment.

It's a relief, and it's half the reason why Daniel slowly exhales.

Though the other half of the reason is his answer. ]

I just have a lot to make up for.

[ He says the words a little softly, like he's trying to take any edge off them. Like he's trying to make them sound more innocent and warm than they actually are - in all actuality a sentiment that has penetrated Daniel's soul so deeply, moments he can only look back on with shame and disappointment in himself. ]

.. I think I'm slowly starting to catch up now though, huh?

[ It's almost a joke. It'd feel a little too cruel to fully joke about this, but it's still a little light. Daniel didn't really make this decision out of any sense of penance, after all. It was only about Robby's safety, and he wouldn't want the boy to mistake one thing for another here. ]

[ Oh.

Robby knows what Mister LaRusso can be like, but when it comes to that remark--that confession, even, it sits on Robby uncomfortably. Unexpected. I have a lot to make up for. It's a sentiment he's sure the man has given before, he thinks, and yet...Robby had figured it was over and done with. The actions he can wager a good guess on what he's referring to, and his own screw-ups along with them.

That's what it digs up, for Robby. His own mistakes that he thought were long buried, and he's quiet in the face of the joking, awkward to have unveiled. Biting on his inner lip, his gaze coming back onto Mister LaRusso with a furrowed brow. His fingers motionless around the man's hand. ]

I thought that was in the past.

[ I thought we forgave each other. ]

[ It's funny - though not necessarily in a good way - how these sorts of realisations always hit you a moment too late, huh. Realising that you may have been a little bit too honest, perhaps driven forth by the fact that it's hard to think too deeply about things when you're in a lot of pain at the same time.

It's what happens right now. The moment he sees the boy's expression shift, the moment Daniel hears those words, he knows he shouldn't have said that. Not even when he was spinning it as a light joke.

He can't retreat in the face of it though, even if it hurts to see Robby like this. It means he has to push on a make it better again, lightly trying to squeeze the hand that's holding his, even if there's not much strength in it. ]

I know you're not angry at me anymore. [ For what it's worth, those words sound genuine. Daniel does know. He's heard the words come out of Robby's mouth before, and he's never doubted whether they were true or not for a moment. He knew Robby wouldn't say them unless he meant them.

It makes the words he speaks gentle, because he's grateful for it. ]

I just..

[ It's there that his voice momentarily trails off. Trying to figure out what to say, what to not say. There's an instinct to not say a lot here, out of Daniel's natural desire to be the adult, the parent, the person who bears the brunt of everything and never mentions a thing about them. You shouldn't bother kids with adult stuff.

Especially not your own kids. The ones you're supposed to protect.

On the other hand, keeping everything to himself here feels like the wrong decision too, in the face of the way Robby is looking right now. It's a delicate balance, and Daniel has no idea in hell whether or not he can walk it while his entire body protests with every faintest shift of his body. ]

I did a lot of really bad things to you. And sometimes.. even when someone else forgives you, it can be a little hard to forgive yourself. [ He pauses, and then adds softly, looking at Robby: ] You know..?

[ Robby watches Mister LaRusso as he speaks, his heart sinking a little further, until his gaze is what lowers next. Onto the hand he's got held, and he feels--frustrated, if a little. Disappointed, unsure; because he didn't figure Mister LaRusso was still carrying this, and even if he can understand where the man is coming from, it doesn't make it easy to accept. He doesn't want to be the reason there's guilt being carried.

He lets his thumb brush over the man's knuckles once as he looks back up at him. ]

You think you drove me to do what I did, but those were my choices. I hurt you back. You didn't ruin my life. [ There's a urge in them, a plea for reasoning. Because what were the 'lot of really bad things'? When he forgave, accepted his actions inside the rehab, and in the apartment, he's always been willing to put that aside.

After all: ] You got heated once because you care about Sam. You wanted to help me. [ Two separate occasions. There's the tiniest shift of a shoulder like a shrug, a pinched smile on his lips. ]

If you want to make it up to me, let it go. That's what I want.

[ There's an instinctive desire, even in the middle of the all the physical pain, to protest those claims. He didn't get heated once, he got heated twice. And nothing is a good reason to ever get that mad at a kid, let alone one you care about. Not to mention that the thought keeps haunting him that if he had done something different, anything at all different, maybe things wouldn't have ended up the way they did. He could have spared Robby so much hurt.

.. but that's exactly what the kid doesn't want him to do, right? It's not like Daniel doesn't hear Robby, and it's those last words that force anything else he could say back inside before it can escape him.

Instead he breathes once, and then moves his head into a slow nod as well as he can manage right now. ]

Alright. [ The word is soft, a hand still brushing against Robby's hair. ] I'll try. I promise.

[ It's not that it's easy. Daniel knows it's not going to be easy - because if there's anything he hasn't been very good at, it's actually letting go of things.

But for Robby? For his kid? He'll try. ]

.. I've always known you were a good kid, Robby.

[ Maybe he forgot a few times in a fit of rage, but-- discounting that. He thought so when he met Robby, and even the knowledge he lied doesn't hurt that in retrospect. He still believed it even after the school fight. Even when Robby was waist-deep in Cobra Kai.

It's true, even now. Robby is a kid who can let go of all of this. Who can forgive. That's not easy.

Who would mind risking their back for a kid like that? ]

[ If only he really was a good kid.

If only there wasn't--as small as it is--some resistance to that claim. Not from anything he's done in his past (he knows he's not good, but he's not going to mind being called it, usually), but everything about who he is, how he feels, in the present. A good kid. Is it being described as such that bothers him? When he a moment ago didn't mind Mister LaRusso calling him his kid, and now, briefly--

He wishes the man would see him as something more; or that he could take the stroking of his fingers and his gentle words under a different manner, even if it'd be a lie he's telling himself. But Robby isn't dumb, even if his body feels heavy, feverish still, if incomparable to what it was earlier: he's not going to pull off any protests, or admit to anything.

He won't even let himself think too deeply about this reluctance in him. He won't think about it coming right after brushing against this familial bond of theirs he's trying to let in.

Robby gives Mister LaRusso a pinched smile instead, before looking down, leaning ever gently his head against the man's chest. His eyes on the weathered skin of Mister LaRusso's hand.

The wedding ring on it. ]

Is the medicine working?

[ He can swallow his own shame well. ]

It's starting to.

[ Or maybe that's just his imagination, the pain seemingly lifted a little since Daniel is so focused on Robby in this moment, shifting his focus away from his own body. Sure, he can still feel the pain, but it does feel like it's a little lighter than a few moments ago, whether it's due to the potion or just the shift in focus. ]

.. you know, the idea of drinks like that.. it isn't so crazy to me. [ Like in a fantasy book, Robby had said. That's true, but-- ] When I was younger, mister Miyagi always had stuff like this too.

[ Maybe not exactly like this, but it reminds Daniel of it. And he figures maybe sharing this is good, even if Robby never knew the guy. It could take both of their minds off this situation as the effects of the potion slowly spread through Daniel, making him a little more sleepy again, but also lifting some of the pain.

Besides, it's a fond memory. It's clearly a fond one, just judging by the way Daniel speaks about it so softly, a tiny smile on his face despite the pain, his hand still against Robby's hair, keeping him relatively close.

It's cozy. It's comfortable. ]

No matter what part of my body got hurt, he always seemed to have some sort of remedy for it.

Mister Miyagi always sounds like he had an answer for everything.

[ This is easier to latch onto, and his remark isn't dishonest: everything about Mister Miyagi has always been about his positives, the way he always had a lesson. And a man who's lived a life like he has, a war hero who moved from one country to another--who could doubt he knows (or knew) a few things?

There's some admiration, to be sure. ]

You know what he gave you? [ ...still, he has to wonder: did it actually work, or did a younger Mister LaRusso just assume it did? Because imagining magical solutions available in a place like this, and anything back home being just as effective, well...

Did the old man just have a secret formula??? (just like how karate people can totally sense others around??) ]

[ Daniel just smiles at Robby's initial remark. Because it's the way it always felt to Daniel when he was younger - and even when he got older, honestly. No matter what, it always felt like the man always had a solution. Like Daniel could always fall back on him when things got hard, no matter how much older Daniel was growing.

Maybe it's why things have felt so much harder ever since the man left his life. ]

I never asked him. [ About what exactly he gave him. It feels a little silly to answer the question that way, even though it's just the honest truth.

Maybe Daniel should have been a little more focused on any future potential helpfulness of what was going on, rather than being way too stuck in amazement, huh. But it's far too late to change anything about that now. ]

I remember I hurt my foot one time. [ Look, the circumstances clearly don't matter, right. Daniel doesn't want to dive into it when it's yet another one of those nasty circumstances Terry Silver is all curled up into. ] And he just put this mystery stuff in some water for a footbath-- god, that stuff smelled really gross. I remember really whining about it.

[ It's something Daniel can at least weakly laugh about, even now. ]

But it did help.

[ It's a sweet memory. The kind where Robby doesn't have anything similar. He thinks he faintly remembers taking some kind of gross medicine when his ear got infected after staying too long in a swimming pool, but he doesn't remember anything surrounding it.

The way Mister LaRusso talks about Mister Miyagi just hits differently, is somehow more special than anything he could recall from his childhood. Like certain people just get those perfect little memories and the perfect little life.

(It's jealousy, but--it's not a bitter one, when it comes to Mister LaRusso.) ]

I bet we can find a medicine like it you can soak in a bath with. If you really want to.

[ He lifts his chin, the ends of his mouth curled with a cheekiness at the offer. You know, if you want to relive that experience, Mister LaRusso.

Finding horrid medicines can't be too difficult. ]

And stink up the bathroom for a month?

[ Leave it to the adult in the situation to find some sort of (boring) adult thing to complain about in this scenario, huh. At least it's pretty clear that Daniel is just going along with the lightheartedness of the remark, like a faint joke exchanged for yet another faint joke.

.. though it would be kind of nice if there was some medicine that could cure whatever the hell - probably way too much, considering what hit him - is going on with his body instantly. He'd love to be back on his feet.

He has to be back on his feet. There's too many kids to check up on in the aftermath of all this, and even the one right here with him right now doesn't seem to be doing too well.

He shakes his head, lets out a faint huff of breath, and then continues. ]

.. I think the only medicine that might work is you staying here close to me. [ Because he wants to keep an eye on Robby. He still remembers the other's desperation from earlier, and if Robby goes somewhere right now - then Daniel can't make sure the boy is alright, now can he? It's not exactly like he could get up and follow him.

It feels a little helpless, but he tries to push that feeling down, internalise it for now.

Instead he focuses on something more important - namely making his remark from a moment ago seem a little less weighty, simply by adding: ] No pressure.

[ His tone is as light as he can get it in his current state. ]

[ Robby laughs, though it's more of a chuckle that's deep-throated. A bathroom that's had a medicinal stink bomb to it--Robby could handle it, if it was for Mister LaRusso's benefit.

But it seems there's another kind of medicine that the man wants. No pressure; as if it could ever be, but Robby sees the joke in it. He grips the hand he'd stopped playing with, a squeeze in the motion, covering it with both of his. Eyes looking back up at the man, and for all of his complicated emotions: ]

I can do it. [ Robby can't deny Mister LaRusso that.

(It makes things easier, too--that question of if he should stay. Now he doesn't have to think about it. He can just let it happen.) ]

But you have to do whatever you need to to get better. Even if we have to stay here a while; I heard sleeping helps. It's, uh, what I had to do to help my hands heal.

[ The time in the hospital, after coming back from that other world, that bizarro city. A recovery he never talked about; a time he never really likes to think about, even now.

But there's something important in bringing it up, more than a horrid memory. ] If they can fix my hands, you'll be okay.

[ Because he's not even sure he would have any, back in their own world. But here--here, things are different. Sometimes in a good way. ]

[ Daniel stares right back at the boy from so close up, for a moment not saying anything - mostly because he's a little bit in thought about what Robby is telling him here. A part of him wants to say that he's definitely not going anywhere anytime soon, no matter what Daniel himself might want, but that sounds just a little too pessimistic, even if it's also reality. Daniel knows what his body feels like, and even doctors in this place surely can't work that much of a miracle.

He'll take eventually being able to walk again, honestly.

Still, realistic or not, he doesn't want to bring down Robby's mood with further concern about him. So instead Daniel allows his mind to move on, slightly glancing down at the way Robby's hands clasp his own like that. The tiny scars still littered across the skin, but aside from that-- definitely just hands. Normal human hands. ]

How are they feeling now..?

[ Look, Daniel does figure they're mostly okay, since he's never been able to catch Robby in the act of showing any discomfort about them - not very recently, anyway. But it's just always easier to focus on this boy's wellbeing than it is about his own, especially when the latter is so uncertain until they can get a doctor over here, even with the pain fading due to the potion's effects. ]

[ ... ] They're better.

[ There's plenty he could say himself, how sometimes they ache, and he doesn't know if they really are or if it's his imagination; when there's no rhyme or reason for it, and the nightmares he would have--the fear that followed his time in the hospital--that they would split apart again. Bleed.

He doesn't have dreams of his teeth falling out or anything like that, but his body coming apart. Really, most of his dreams are just nightmares these days.

Robby isn't going to get into any of that. But he does continue after a moment, to reassure in his own way: ] It was hard at first, them being like that and then being fixed, but... I got through it. I used to worry 'bout something happening to them.

But blood magic--it can be really good. Cheaper than a hospital back in the Valley, too.

[ That's a good positive. ]

[ He exhales. ]

You were really brave back then.

[ Or-- well, it's more that the boy had clearly been in shock, or so Daniel had interpreted Robby's behaviour back then. The weird stoney silence, only interrupted by the bare minimum that had to be said. The total lack of emotion. Maybe that part wasn't necessarily good, but.. Robby got through a really hard thing.

That's being brave, even if it might not be the typical kind.

And Daniel is still glad he insisted on taking both the kids to places where someone could take a look at them. Fix them. God knows whether Robby's hands could still have been fixed this much if he had taken his time on bringing the poor boy to a doctor.

It makes Daniel want to run his thumb over the hands, but that's kind of hard with the way his own hand is trapped between both of Robby's own hands. So he instead moves the hand that's around Robby, still thankfully against the back of the other's head, which means it's very easy for Daniel to slowly move Robby's head just a little bit closer until Daniel can plant a slight kiss against the top of his forehead, since he can't really move his own body closer on his own accord. ]

I'm very proud of you.

[ Was this about Daniel's back?

Yes. But he's not even really avoiding any talk of that as much as Daniel just can't resist passing up a moment to tell Robby these things. They're too important not to. ]

[ Someone wants a distraction from himself.

Robby might have a few things to say about his so-called bravery. Or talk about another, 2B, who fought on and reacted in every way better than him. It's not quite a typical awe that he feels--felt? no, feels--for her: because she had no choice but to fight, to be a warrior, a protector. It was a part of her down to her program, and the life she knew. 2B was skilled, but he liked her for who she was, though that was a being trying to learn who she could be.

He'd miss her, if not for the kiss planted on his forehead to distract all those thoughts, a fluttering shyness fuzzing his brain with a special kind of white noise.

(He wouldn't mind a kiss on the cheek...

He could give Mister LaRusso a kiss on the cheek...

Should he give him a kiss on the...?) ]

What do you think happened to 2B? [ --nevermind distracting thoughts. They weren't there, and he'll ask his question like the easy one it is to find, relatable to the subject; because Mister LaRusso might want to make it about his bravery, but Robby sure knows who he'd rather talk about instead. ]

[ It's a question he didn't quite expect, though it is relevant to the topic. Still-- lying here with his back slowly hurting a little less, but still not inclined to move a whole bunch, he didn't quite expect to think about the girl.

Though he has. Many times since she left. Just like with every other student who returned to the ocean. ]

.. I don't know.

[ None of them technically know for sure, after all. What happens when people go back into the ocean - whether they go home, though it doesn't seem to be too likely, or to some other place, or whether they just.. swim around indefinitely.

Still.. Maybe it's the heaviness of their own current situation, but he doesn't want to linger on a note like that. Instead Daniel closes his eyes for a moment, but then opens them again as he speaks on. ]

Whatever happened, I hope that she's somewhere with plants right now. [ There's definitely a fond note in the man's voice as he speaks, even if his tone is still a little weak. ] She always seemed the happiest when she was dealing with the plants.

[ It's not the answer Robby wanted. It might be heavy right now, asking, What do you think happens to us? under the guise of asking it over a single person, but--Robby would prefer honesty to hope. Except Mister LaRusso might rather cling to hopes than what he worries to be the truth, when hopes lead to family. ]

...Yeah, [ is all Robby can give in turn, acknowledgement or agreement, maybe both. ] A guy told me...he still feels someone who left. Someone like a son to him. [ Wasn't it? Robby can't recall the conversation clearly, he thinks it was when he made the anonymous post, but-- ] There's plenty of plants in the sea.

[ Usually, there are. But the comment feels like a compromise to Mister LaRusso's own answer. Because if Robby were to rely on hope, well--he'd prefer her to be somewhere that was away from war, fighting. A selfish desire, really, when she probably wants to see her partner again.

Still. Maybe she'll find him there in that sea that they find themselves in--that Robby thinks finds them. ]

[ There is something more to this.

It's not like Daniel can't tell. Even though his brain feels a little bit more foggy now the pain is instead replaced with a faint haze that numbs it for the time being, he can tell as much, especially when he's still holding Robby relatively close to him.

And yet he doesn't dig into it right away. Maybe he's a little worried about discussing something so potentially sad at a moment like this. On the other hand - he also doesn't want Robby feeling like he has to hold in anything around him.

So after a moment of quiet, Daniel slowly speaks up again, not realising his cradling hold on the back of the boy's head. ]

What are you thinking about, Robby..?

[ You can ask him a little more directly, bud. Or just vent at him. He doesn't mind. ]

[ does he have toooooo, sensei dad.

Because Robby feels reluctant. It's not like it's a situation they can do anything about, and talking about the sea and people leaving is just a miserable side of reality nobody wants to really touch. They have to deal with it, live with it, and that's it, and trying to examine it never goes anywhere pleasant.

So he wonders if to say anything, or let himself be pressed into speaking. But, reluctantly: ]

...I wish we knew. What happens--where they go. Maybe she's out there in the sea as a squid, and she's okay, but...she had a lot she never got to experience.

[ He's let his hands drop from Mister LaRusso's over the time, and he looks at the man now, a sad tug of his lips. ]

I just miss her. That's all.

I miss her too.

[ Even if his tone is soft, it's an easy admission for Daniel to make under the current circumstances. It might not be the sort of thing he'd bring up first, since it's the sort of burden he'd want to shoulder himself - but this is different. If he can show Robby that Robby isn't alone in this emotion, then.. well, that's better than nothing.

Even if it doesn't fix a thing. ]

.. she was one of the first to join the dojo when I asked. Even though it's not like she needed it. [ Not the karate, anyway.

But the balance, the companionship -- it's especially for the latter that Daniel invited her in the first place. ]

I think it's since she really cared about you.

[ Nothing can be fixed, but hearing that Mister LaRusso misses her as well--it's what he wants to hear, or what's comforting than any niceties about what her situation might be. Their emotions, their feelings on it.

She really cared about you. Robby's eyes are fixed on their hands, though not touching now, but in that space between them that allows him to lean his head slightly on Mister LaRusso's chest/shoulder area. ]

...You were good, too, looking out for her like that. She never got to be a person. [ ... ] Seeing herself like that really meant a lot to her. She told me someone saw that she had a spirit, and she never knew if she did. Stories like that were just for humans.

[ Which isn't strange, really. But it's not about what it means to them, though they can understand if they think about it. Why someone like 2B might see herself different, that she was--but there was nothing inhuman about her, to Robby. Not in the way anyone cares about humanity. ]

She... the way she was, you know, Mob reminded me of her. Trying to be someone, a lil' quiet. [ And awkward. A small huff. ]

They could take down anything that got in their way, but they never want to hurt anything. I would've protected them any day.

[ Just so they didn't have to. ]

[ At least it's something nice to be reminded at a moment like this. Not even necessarily the memory of 2B, sad but in a bittersweet sort of way, but what Robby follows it up with. Something he says so naturally in this little moment between the two of them - I would've protected them any day.

Isn't that the reason Robby stuck up for Mob in the first place? Why he keeps dragging kids over to the dojo? Robby is a natural protector, fierce and devoted, and it's a knowledge that always fills Daniel with appreciation for the boy - with pride. ]

.. did you meet her Omen?

[ It's the thing Daniel says instead after a tiny quiet moment. Maybe he doesn't want to steer the conversation too close to Mob here - just in case, since he knows Robby still has to be worried.

Daniel is still worried too, after all. ]

It was a little funny how different that tiny thing was compared to her. I always kind of wondered if it was saying the stuff she couldn't say herself. Or if it was just looking out for her.

[ The reminder of the omen gets a small huff, surprised and amused at once, a 'Yeah' that follows through on the former--because he does remember them, and what Mister LaRusso's saying, it tracks.

It's the reason the humour returns, if softly, in Robby's voice. The grasshopper(??) that was always messing with its attenae. ]

Both? ...it told me things 2B didn't wanna talk about, or think about. [ Which, he kind of wonders if the omen did the same for Mister LaRusso, but Robby doesn't want to say what--snitches get stitches, you know. ]

It told me she always wanted to go shopping. [ ...okay, this kind of snitching is safe, okok. It even warms Robby's voice, himself to recall. ] I took her and some friends, made a whole day outta it. I know she liked it. Even if her idea of dressing was, well...

You remember the gi.

[ And her wearing just the top over her regular clothes............. ]

Oh, I remember a lot of her..

[ Look at the way that voice trails off. It's not even because Daniel is having a hard time thinking because of his current state or anything, it just takes him a moment to find the right word. ]

.. eccentricities.

[ Nailed it. Clearly. It's said in the fondest way possible though. Sure, 2B was strange, but.. she was trying so hard to live. What's more admirable than that? ]

If she ever does come back from the ocean, we'll need to throw her a big celebration. [ Just like how Robby threw her that big shopping trip. ] I bet it'll catch her off guard.

(closed) march catchall

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