deercountry | I don't want to save the world

Entry tags:

I don't want to save the world

Who: Usagi Tsukino/Sailor Moon and you!
What: Usagi is dealing with mild corruption and is trying to get rid of it
When: Through mid-March
Where: Beach and Willful Machine

Content Warnings: Violence

A. Strike the Match [Beach]

When the thought 'I wish I could just destroy this whole place' entered her mind, she knew she was in trouble. She knew she was in at least SOME stage of corruption and needed to get it in check.

But the people, outside of Makoto, who she would talk to about the corruption were. all. gone.

And that was the problem. That was why she kept having the thought. Rei, Minako, Hotaru, Setsuna, Varian, Atsushi, Bella, the list went on and on and on and on and on. It was just her and Makoto now.

And then the fearful thought, 'But when would Makoto be next?' would come.

When would another loved one, another precious person be taken? What was even the point to keep going if they were all gone? This was not the first time she had had such thoughts. But this wasn't about Galaxia and an endless war and all life going on. This was just her and her life. This wasn't home. It got incredibly difficult to keep going, to keep hoping they may someday arrive, because there was no way to bring them out of the ocean. But also, she didn't WANT them to arrive. That was the hitch, the problem.

She missed all of her precious people like crazy.

But in her truest of heart's desires, she could never wish them to come to this hell, even if she knew the girls would follow her without hesitation.

"But you're not here," she told the crashing waves. She was Sailor Moon right now, waiting for Maul.

She was so. damn. tired. of this world taking from her, hurting her, and how she was supposed to be okay with it. She didn't even get to mourn Hotaru because this world made her so happy that all she could do was be glad Hotaru got out.

She wasn't okay.

Sailor Moon watched the waves crash around her, a storm out on the horizon making them harsher than usual. The wind whipped her hair around her, her wings going back and forth with the breeze. In her hand was her Tiare.

She sensed someone coming towards her. It wasn't Maul she sensed, but another.

"I would not come any closer," she said, eyes still out on the horizon, her voice harsh. "The waves may suck you under." And she wasn't much in the mood to save anyone. The only reason the waves weren't dragging her away was because of her strength where she stood. "If you have need of the beach there is endless amounts of it," she gestured to the miles of shore.

B. Wildfire [Closed to Maul (and observers)]

Finally, she thought.

"Don't hold back," her head tilted a bit to glance at the Sith behind her, though she did not fully face him, her back still turned to him.

There was a breath, a tic of a second, as if she might change her mind about the whole thing. After all, she was always so hesitant to fight anyone.

She exhaled.

The second passed.

She was already right in front of him, her tiny size and powers allowing her to be deadly fast, her Tiare was raised, fully intending to strike him in the head, whether or not he could block or dodge was his problem.

C. Smoke and ashes [Willful Machine]

The fight had done her a lot of good to get most of her anger out.

But so would shopping. She was currently looking at herself in the mirror, a bright pink and red outfit for springtime. She was turning this way and that with a soft hum and when she saw someone behind her in the mirror she spun around and grabbed their hand, her own nails were still quite sharp as her corruption was still edging away.

"I need your opinion!" she smiled brightly, feeling better and intending on buying a large spring wardrobe with some retail therapy. "How does this look?" she gave a little spin.

(OOC: Unless a character can read souls/auras/have sensitivity in the Force/magic to see through glamours, they will not be able to detect that Sailor Moon and Usagi are the same person.)

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Anakin is taking a run along the shoreline; his body is restless but his mind is pensive. With each footfall, another thought I promised Ezra I'd help with his vows, what really happened in Crenshaw?, why wasn't I more careful last month?.

He senses her before he sees her. But once he gets closer, he finds Uncle Luke's 'angel.' Sailor Moon.

Who seems to be in a sour mood.

"I'm stronger than I look, don't worry."

Luca sees a woman standing out in the water, and with how harsh the waves are getting with the coming storm he's concerned, so he heads out to make sure she realizes how dangerous it can be. As the waves flow over his feet, they turn green and scaley, becoming longer and webbed, though all the skin that remains dry looks as human as it ever does. As he gets closer, she gives him a warning.

"That's okay if I do. I have gills. But what about you? You could get swept under, too, couldn't you?"

He's nowhere near as far in as she is, after all, and he feels like he might be pulled under. Of course, it's not much of a problem if he does. He'll just swim deep enough that he won't be affected by the storm and just wait it out, but he assumes that's not an option for her.

She isn't really all that surprised that Anakin ignores her warning. A cruel enough thought enters her mind, that Anakin's grandfather and uncle do a wonderful job at ignoring warnings, why would he be any better at heeding them?

But she doesn't say such things. Her anger is at this world, not at a boy.

Her eyes narrow as she merely continues to stare out at sea.

"I'm not worried," she finally looked over at him. "Do what pleases you."

It's sweet, his care and compassion for a complete stranger. In her right mind, he's someone she would protect, someone she would fight for, but right now, his kindness stings. His kindness is a reminder that there are just as many kind people that mean the world to her and they don't exist in this world.

Her gaze looks at his feet, the way they turned scaled and webbed.

"It would not kill me," she turned her head to look at him as he came closer. Her wings shift from decorative to real.

( she is only here to pick up more supplies, nothing more than that. despite fishbones and her omen's protesting, jinx has made her mind up of two outcomes of her life here in trench. plan a: work tirelessly over the hexgem until it can warp her out of this city and leave everyone behind. if plan a is a failure, she'll move on to plan b -- allow herself to get so corrupted that she becomes the monster she is destined to be. and to take on the beast life and live among the rest out in the wilderness.

to anyone else, these two plans would seem completely horrid, but to jinx, it just makes perfect sense to her. all that time she asked herself why does she jinx everything that she touches, why does she hurt every person she comes across, and why was she born to be like this (with vi's help)? the answer to all of those questions had been right in front of her face, but she had been so blinded by everyone's kindness which she now wonders if it was just a ploy. )

( she is a prodigy; the one who was meant to be princess of zaun with silco at the throne. they were to rise and fall all kingdoms and claim them as their own. without him, she had gone astray and went on an entirely different path which she thought was lovely. and it was... for a little while. things began to unravel for her when a few people of trench lack of an understanding of her (so she believes). silco warned her people would never understand her or them and at first, she thought the old man was just... being old.

but it seems his wise words had some truth in them. if some good-getter nobodies saw her of a horrendous person, it's whatever. their opinions didn't matter, but those she cared for -- their thoughts meant everything. their acknowledgement and their recognition are what she needs throughout her days. the praise and honesty are like oxygen to jinx; a yearning she will always chase after. it'll never be enough. so when chizuru came to her with that question that day, her glass heart shattered. jinx really thought she was doing well with her and with everyone in trench -- because after all, they were going to show them all just what a great person she was together.

jinx assisted to the injured, rescued those who were in trouble, gave advice who needed it, worked long hours on building weapons to those who asked for them, and spent time to those who needed a hug or a shoulder. yes, she gloated and relished over her killings back home, but she thought with that being the past and not current activities, it shouldn't matter. actions speak louder than words, right? she accepted chizuru for being a demon so why wouldn't she not accept her being a monster? ... and that's the core of her hurt by all of this. )

( jinx welcomed every aspect of chizuru, but she can't do the same. and despite how patient and delicate she was during their relationship with the girl, everything still blew up in flames. then and even now, jinx has been obsessively looking over the equation to see where she messed up. she used the right formula, the right method, added, divided, and subtracted -- so where did it fuck up?

well.

another compulsive thought for another time. because when she enters the shop and sees usagi a few steps ahead of her, jinx instantly wants to turn on her heel and bail. she is now down to two bunnies and she doesn't think... she can take care of either of them anymore. usagi and vi should really find someone else who is better (especially with her plan on leaving). but the teen gets grabbed by the hand which startles her just a slight bit and stares at the other like a fish. )

U-Uhm. Great. ( that didn't sound convincing at all so she tries again, cleaning her throat. )

— Ahem. I mean, lookin' good, Moonlight. Definitely suits ya.

Edited 2023-03-21 05:23 (UTC)

The plants had made for a very busy and difficult month, and after Hotaru there had been something weighing on both of their minds. Makoto hadn't been really able to put it into words, but she was as worried as Usagi that she would be pulled away. That no matter how much she fought it there might come a time when she's simply taken. She'd asked several people if there was a way to prevent it but there had been no answers, just the advice to live each day here as if it were the final and last. As if you could wake up at any moment and all of it would jus be a quickly fading dream.

Now that she'd dealt with the worst of the stress her own level had fallen to where she could actually feel things again, the texture of fabrics. The warmth of the sun and the cool air again. Stopping in one of Usagi's favorite shops she was going to pick something up for her, when suddenly she found herself in the other's grip, claws digging a bit deeper than they should have.

"Ahh there you are, I was just going to come and find you."

Makoto watched her spin, smiling. The dress didn't really matter as much as the smile and the golden locks, the boundless energy with which she spun. But still Makoto nodded with a look of a approval,

"It looks great on you. Though I think I saw one that had a little more color right over here."

"Oh!"

He wasn't expecting the wings to turn real. As the waves worsen, Luca decides this would be easier if he didn't try to keep standing, so he dives into the water, reemerging in his sea monster form, so he can make use of his powerful finned tail to swim closer.

"So why are you out here?"

...aren't you the one who dropped me into a blood ocean one time?

[Michael's not even mad about that - it's old news, and even at the time he didn't really mind - but he's surprised to see her again given that he really hasn't for quite a long time now. And also admittedly sort of irritated by the immediate snippiness.]

"To keep the damage I intend to inflict away from people," she offered honestly, not trying to present herself as some paragon right now. She was angry, she wanted to hurt this world. She wanted to wreck it and destroy it if it meant she could go home. And she could. She could absolutely decimate it with a mere thought. Destruction was infinitely easier than creation, it's why destruction never impressed her.

But she also couldn't do that. Her heart wasn't really in such a threat. There was so much good, and love, and kindness, and wonderful people. Besides, who was she to dictate whether a world got to exist or not?

But she was allowed her anger, wasn't she? Why couldn't she be angry so long as she didn't actually do it? Why did she have to be happy and smiling all the time? Why did she have to be good all the time?

"I recommend you don't be here when the fight begins. I will not be holding back."

Edited 2023-03-22 16:24 (UTC)

[She snorted.]

You're a bit late to be seeking your pound of flesh. [She looked over to him.] Is that what you want then?

[Having been in some stage of corruption earlier, Usagi sees the way Jinx is acting. She's cagey, she's less focused. She's less confident than usual. She watches Jinx for a long moment and then puts down the dress, setting it to the side as she fully intended to buy it and deal with something that actually mattered in front of her.

She pulled Jinx closer, eyes searching all over her face and her brows knitting together as she watched her.

Usagi was of the same agreement as Jinx. Actions did speak louder than words. Actions spoke volumes, words could move hearts, but actions showed hearts that the words were truth.

So, being someone who lived by both her actions and words, she grabbed both of Jinx's hands and then pulled her into a tight hug.]

"MAKO-CHAN!" Usagi immediately put the dress to the side to hug on tight to Makoto, hugging her with a full-force-Usagi-Hug™. She breathed in her girlfriend, her sense of smell no longer connected to her tongue and hearing colors was gone as well. She closed her eyes and breathed in the soft rose fragrance that she always smelled like. Usagi used to think it was a perfume but it was just "Makoto's essence." She was a beautiful rose made flesh, though sturdier and made of stronger, but just as pretty and smelling just as sweet.

She wondered what it said about her that the people she was dating had a thing for roses...

Well, not the point.

Right now, Makoto was in her arms, Makoto was where Usagi wanted her to be above all else.

Makoto wasn't gone.

[Michael snorts back!]

Chill out, I'm just walking. No need to be dramatic about it.

[Sailor Moon lifts a brow. So he doesn't want his pound of flesh, he just wants to mock her.]

Enjoy your walk. [She turns back around.] I don't recommend being here when the fight begins.

( crap, did she say the wrong thing here? the way usagi is eyeing her like this, all signs may point to her possibly offending her or not sounding as enthusiastic. and who knows how her appearance look to everyone else now -- she's been avoiding mirrors. and jinx's been out in the dangerous woods with lurking beasts since over the weekend. her temporary home had been in the branches with her bed being a hammock -- high enough where the beasts can't fully reach her and she would watch them move around from below.

sleep hadn't come to her easy and she's been ignoring the eats until her omen insisted she should have something. her hair, while still braided, there might be a few twigs mix within the twisted locks. sharon and nara'a had offered her a space, but she declined them both -- refusing to be more of an issue in a already horrible world that's putting them in predicaments.

'she's a problem and we all know it.'
'you're about as good for our cause as you were for your family. jinx.'

good old sevika. never afraid to spit out venom right in her face. again, the tug and into a hug leaves her unexpected; arms hovering around the other's form on whether if returning the embrace is appropriate or not. it's like she took a big step backwards -- forgetting what it's like or what to do with human interaction all over again. )

... Sorry. Guess I'm a lil' worn out. ( what an understatement. )

You wanna try out another dress? — I bet you look great all kinds of colors.

Edited 2023-03-22 19:03 (UTC)

Luke had his own things on his mind, which probably wasn't much of a surprise, given recent events. He kept insisting to himself that he was okay, that he was over what happened with the Emperor, but... well, he was a terrible liar, even when lying to himself. He set out for the beach that day to try and clear his head, to allow himself to let go, but it seemed like he wasn't the only one with that idea.

It was a surprise to actually see Sailor Moon, especially since his last interaction with her was via text. His assessment of her being an angel wasn't all that far off, given her wings, but at the moment, she seemed far from angelic.

"Sailor M--"

He cut himself off, frowning slightly. Something about her felt... familiar, like he was standing before an old friend instead of a virtual stranger. Luke squinted, like he was trying to see through a fog, before he took a step back in surprise.

"Usagi?"

[wow! sailor moon kinda sucks!]

What fight?

[She never claimed to be perfect. She, in fact somewhat hates how she's not allowed to be mad. It's why she came out to the beach. Stars above forbid she be allowed to be pissed off.]

I will be having one with Maul whenever he decides to get here.

Edited 2023-03-23 00:36 (UTC)

Maul? Now - c'mon, that guy's chilled out a lot in the past month or two!

[Distantly, he wonders why on earth he's bothering to defend Maul, but...c'mon!]

[She tilted her head and closed her eyes, alright, now that was amusing. She turned back to look at Michael.]

You're right, he has. I am not mad at him. He is helping me.

Oh. [Well. That's different.] Well, that's good. Glad he's getting out there.

He was bound to find out, she supposed. Force users always had that little trick to see right through the glamour. The side of her lip twitched.

"Luke," she responded easily enough.

He's come a long way, yes, but he's always been eager to fight me.

The dress can wait. [She reached up and pulled a twig from Jinx's hair, combing her fingers through her long bangs before moving to hug Jinx again. She was clearly in her own fresh hell.]

But you're right, I do look great in every color. [She offered humor, seeing if that might do the trick.]

Why haven't you been sleeping?

Well, I guess that's what he's into.

[Doesn't she shoot lasers or something? Well, Michael's never really seen Maul in a proper fight, maybe he's got a laser workaround.]

Sounds like a hell of a thing to see, though.

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I don't want to save the world

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smoke and ashes.

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cw: poor mental health + health in general stuff + voices

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