( open ) if you have something to say

[facultative]

Who: Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader (facultative) and you!
What: November catchall
When: Throughout November
Where: Various

Content Warnings: violence
i. no fighting
[By this point Anakin is looking like a textbook example of what advanced corruption looks like. Fanged teeth, fever and glassy, bloodshot eyes and an unwillingness to seek treatment has most of the locals giving him a wide berth. He's already drawn his lightsaber against quite a few people who had tried to assist him.

Perhaps your character is minding their own business or perhaps they’re keeping a wary eye on a clearly volatile young man. Regardless Anakin will notice them for whatever reason.]

What are you looking at?

ii. potential for violence
[The next person that tries to convince him to seek help hangs suspended in the air as they try to grapple with the invisible force holding them by the throat.]

Do I look like I need help?

[Slowly Anakin increases the pressure and their eyes bulge before they catch another character’s eyes, one hand leaving their neck to frantically gesture for help.

Otherwise use i. or make up your own prompt! This is mostly so I know who doesn't mind things escalating.]

iii. obi-wan
[Anakin had been hard to locate last month with his bloodtype allowing him to seemingly vanish into thin air, but the new month had removed that advantage and it was only a matter of time before he ran into his old master.]

You look tired.

[He looks worse, but he feels better than he has in a long time. Releasing the weight of his previous indecision having a greater impact than the effects of corruption. He draws his lightsaber, revealing the red blade as he points it against Obi-Wan.]

Last chance to walk away.

Comments

[facultative]

Later.

[Maybe Maul will kill someone again and they have a more pressing problem to deal with. And in the meantime he has an arm to fix.]

[jedies]

Later.

But first . . . your lightsaber.

[facultative]

I-- I swapped the crystal in it.

[He didn't bleed his. It's still whole and blue, but in Luke's hands.]

I didn't-- it was already like that.

[Something he would do one day.]

[jedies]

[ he'll have to talk to luke then. and soon. ]

I see. I'll be taking it for now.

[facultative]

[He nods. Anakin thinks it's best he doesn't have a weapon right now, never mind that he isn't any less dangerous without one. It's also perfectly reasonable that he'll kick him out of the Order too. He's done too many things that go against what the Jedi stand for regardless of whatever fondness Obi-Wan has for him.]

Okay.

[He doesn't expect to ever get it back.]

[jedies]

[ obi-wan takes it without fanfare. it feels cold. all of this feels cold. there were wounds on them both. with a sigh, obi-wan reaches out, cradling anakin's face and pressing their foreheads together. ]

It will get better. But you must try, Anakin. You must.

[facultative]

[He closes his eyes, unable to face Obi-Wan so close even as he finds himself greedily reaching for whatever is offered.]

What if it's not enough?

[Do or do not, in Yoda's words.]

[jedies]

If you do nothing, it'll never be enough.

[facultative]

[He shakes his head.]

I'm not like you.

[jedies]

. . . I never asked you to be.

[facultative]

I wish I was though.

[Even after having a small child suddenly placed in his care. Obi-Wan had always seem so sure of his place and his path. Not like him who was always plagued by doubts and fears.]

[jedies]

Oh, Anakin.

No one ever said you couldn't have doubts. Why didn't you ever say anything?

[facultative]

[He's internalised so many things that he doesn't recognise where they come from.]

...I didn't want to disappoint you.

[Or maybe they wouldn't have let him stay if they knew how much trouble he was having or he didn't think anyone would have understood or a thousand different reasons which all amounted to the same thing.

Fear.]

[jedies]

[ fear leads to anger. anger leads to hate. and hate . . . leads to suffering. there's never been a more textbook case of it.

he sighs. ]

There's nothing disappointing about feeling conflicted or confused. These are normal emotions. We all have them. Even myself. But bottling them up and pretending they don't exist . . . well, I don't think I need to say more.

[facultative]

But I shouldn't be. I came from nothing, less than nothing. I shouldn't have any of this so why can't I be happy?

[It shouldn't be wrong for him to want more. It was unfair that he had to be content with what he had.

He doesn't even notice the direction his thoughts are going.]

[jedies]

[ ah. well, the crux of it is clear. obi-wan lets out a quiet breath, collecting his calm. ]

Because you don't want to lose them. You want to hold onto it, all of it. Regardless of what other people want or feel.

[facultative]

[Regardless? It was only natural to want to keep his loved ones close, but was he willing to go further than they were?

He knows the answer to that. But whether he considered that attachment or a sign that they cared less is another question.]

These thoughts are natural, but you need to be mindful of them. [He's paraphrasing lessons learned when he was younger.] Emotion, yet peace.

[jedies]

[ his lips curve, though there's no real humour present. ]

Quoting the axioms is one thing. Living them is another.

[facultative]

And if I can't?

[He knows what he has to do, but he's spent so long ignoring them and deciding that his way is better.]

[jedies]

Then it may not be the life you want.

Which is what I asked you long ago. If you wanted to do something else, Anakin, all you had to do was say so.

But you can't have it both ways. You've made commitments.

[facultative]

[What does it matter to choose when the choice has already been made?]

I can't make him disappear. [Not that he'd even want to forget Luke existed.]

[jedies]

And I wouldn't ask you to.

But he deserves a father. Not an absent one who lies to both families.

[facultative]

The path of a Jedi doesn't leave room for that either.

[And he's never considered the Jedi his family. Only Obi-Wan.]

[jedies]

No. The path of the Jedi is for those who are selfless and put others before themselves.

It leaves plenty of room for connections and meaningful relationships. You told Ahsoka once, "purpose before feelings."

Now is not the time to claim ignorance about your teachings just because they don't give you what you want.

[facultative]

[Ahsoka is somehow a far more touchy subject than anything else he's got going on.]

Considering she's gone because I'm such a lousy Jedi and teacher maybe I don't actually know anything.

So how does it feel knowing I'm a disappointment?