Flynn-- [ A small part of him rails against Flynn trying to find that place, trying to get stuck there again, that Yuri can handle it, that Flynn should stay out here, stay free. He's more important than that.
But Flynn would hate it if he said any of that out loud. ]
Fuck. Bet tons of people are still in there. Gotta do something.
I wasn't better off out here with you still in there.
[ Flynn bites out. It's not a negotiable thing in his own head: leaving Yuri in there to bleed out was an unacceptable outcome, something he could never even have considered, no matter what Yuri says, no matter the risk to his own life. If they'd have died in there together then at least when they'd come back together they could have figured something out. Better than letting Yuri think he was in there alone without any support while Flynn moved on with his life.
Which might not be what Yuri thinks. Flynn doesn't know anymore: he's too tired to think clearly, catastrophizing where he shouldn't be, and he knows it. He turns his head, pressing his forehead against Yuri's. ]
I'm always going to come back for you. You have to know that.
[ Emotion balls up in Yuri's throat. He's the one who should be saying that, not Flynn. Flynn's the one who's worth a damn to the world, the one who can change things. He's the one who grew up, who moved on, who became someone great, who shouldn't be with Yuri. Yuri knows that, knows that Flynn could do so much better than him. That Flynn could be with someone as great as he is, but for some reason he kissed Yuri, gives him presents, risks his life to look for him.
Yuri doesn't deserve that. He doesn't need that. But he sure as hell wants it. He wants it in a way that makes him kind of sick. He wants Flynn, he wants Flynn to stay with him, to want him. He doesn't want Flynn to risk his life for him, no, but everything else?
[ Flynn didn't, maybe, on the surface, but deep down he knows very well: Yuri is too good to abandon Flynn, too kind and compassionate and stubborn to ever leave someone in trouble when he could do something about it. ]
So don't you dare tell me not to come after you. I don't want to hear it.
[ The thing is, he's so tired. He could let it be. He could just nod and say "yes, of course, Flynn," but he's not in a coherent enough headspace to say that and only that. ]
Shouldn't.
[ He murmurs it against Flynn's shoulder, his eyes falling shut. He should really sleep, or eat something at least. His body feels heavy, weak ]
What would it do, Flynn? Then we'd both be stuck in there. Don't want, don't want that to happen to you. Don't want to see you like that. Too good [ For that, too good to let that happen to. ]
[ That thing flares in Flynn all over again. He can't move—Yuri is leaning on him like he never does, heavy-headed and exhausted—but he clutches tighter to Yuri all the same, something like anger simmering in his belly.
He shouldn't engage. He knows that. Yuri is exhausted and talking more than he ever does, and Flynn knows very well what ridiculous things he'd said when he was shaky-limbed from his own rebirth, chased by memories of dying. He'd been full of fear and guilt and shame all at once that Yuri had to support him like that, and he can only imagine Yuri is feeling some combination of the same thing under the leaden wall of exhaustion pressing him down.
With a rough sound, Flynn tugs at Yuri, pulling him back along the bed to make him lie down. ]
[ "Yes" Yuri would say, if he didn't still have some sense of self-preservation left in him. Some things are better left unsaid, and even his exhausted mind knows that.
He drops back onto the bed, curling up with the blanket wrapped tight around him. He doesn't want to let it go, too warm both from the heat and from the knowledge that Flynn gave this to him, Flynn thought about what he might want or need and got this for him, and that makes him feel all sorts of things. ]
I-- dunno. Make a better plan than "get stuck in there again."
[ Flynn moves with him, letting Yuri get settled before he tugs the blanket down around his feet, too, and moves to lie beside him. Maybe it's selfish of him to want to stay so close when Yuri probably just wants to sleep, but Flynn can't make himself move away. ]
I had a better plan.
[ He shifts a little closer still, watches Repede stretch out along Yuri's other side. ]
[ It's a stupid plan, and Yuri laughs, just a small puff of laughter. Flynn is close, and that's what matters because he's damned weak, too weak to push Flynn away like he probably should. He wants this so, so much ]
[ Flynn pushes a kiss against the side of his head to stop himself swatting at Yuri instead. The blanket really does radiate heat, and it feels good on Flynn's exhausted body, too. He'd gotten so stiff over the last few days, probably the lack of sleep, and now that he's lying here and Yuri is safe, he can't get up the strength to get up again. Instead he throws a thigh over Yuri's, letting his own bulk pin Yuri down like he seems to like, and lets his fingers drift down the side of his arm under the blanket. ]
[ Honestly, Yuri was expecting something a little more sophisticated than that. Flynn is the Commandant of the Empire. Right?
And he says "swords."
A laugh wells up in Yuri's chest, his body shaking until it bursts out of him, bright and loud, and for the first time in too many days, he feels happy. He's happy and safe and home and, yeah, that was horrible. It was terrible, and he still hurts and his mind feels heavy, but Flynn is right here next to him, saying he would have taken on all those guys with just his sword because he wanted to get to Yuri and
[ Flynn can't find it anywhere in himself to be annoyed with Yuri laughing like that. It takes him by surprise, sweeps through Yuri in a bubbling wave until he's shaking beneath Flynn, laughing bright and open and easy like he wasn't being tortured for days. Yuri's laughter has always been an infectious thing, or perhaps Flynn just orients himself too fully around Yuri, lets himself get caught in the warm and changeable tides of his feelings. Yuri laughs, and Flynn laughs with him, pressing his face into the curve of his shoulder as he laughs, helpless. ]
It's worked— [ he swats at Yuri without meaning it at all ] —plenty of times before!
[ Yuri waves his hands back at Flynn, feeling a lightness in his chest when he opens his eyes to see Flynn's too-blue eyes right there, so close to his, and his breath catches on a laugh. The laughter still bubbles in him, but it's forgotten now, watching Flynn laugh.
He has it so bad.
So bad, and he's so relieved and so tired and Flynn is right here and damn it, he loves him. ]
Then I can't see why you would be making fun of a perfectly functional plan.
[ Now Flynn is just pushing to keep that smile on his face, to keep the warmth in his eyes. Later, they can deal with the horrors Yuri inevitably saw, being drained of his blood for some awful purpose. Later they can come up with a plan to take the whole thing down with a little more complexity than "storm in there and get Yuri back."
For now, though, Flynn cranes his head just enough to kiss Yuri again, trapping their smiles between them. ]
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no subject
But Flynn would hate it if he said any of that out loud. ]
Fuck. Bet tons of people are still in there. Gotta do something.
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If you were about to tell me I shouldn't have been trying—
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He shakes his head, letting out a sigh, and stays close because Flynn is warm and it feels good to be close to him like this. ]
I was going to say that you're better off out here. I don't want you to get, get trapped in there again. Dunno if you'll be as lucky next time.
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[ Flynn bites out. It's not a negotiable thing in his own head: leaving Yuri in there to bleed out was an unacceptable outcome, something he could never even have considered, no matter what Yuri says, no matter the risk to his own life. If they'd have died in there together then at least when they'd come back together they could have figured something out. Better than letting Yuri think he was in there alone without any support while Flynn moved on with his life.
Which might not be what Yuri thinks. Flynn doesn't know anymore: he's too tired to think clearly, catastrophizing where he shouldn't be, and he knows it. He turns his head, pressing his forehead against Yuri's. ]
I'm always going to come back for you. You have to know that.
no subject
Yuri doesn't deserve that. He doesn't need that. But he sure as hell wants it. He wants it in a way that makes him kind of sick. He wants Flynn, he wants Flynn to stay with him, to want him. He doesn't want Flynn to risk his life for him, no, but everything else?
Yeah. He wants that. ]
And you know I'll do the same thing.
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[ Flynn didn't, maybe, on the surface, but deep down he knows very well: Yuri is too good to abandon Flynn, too kind and compassionate and stubborn to ever leave someone in trouble when he could do something about it. ]
So don't you dare tell me not to come after you. I don't want to hear it.
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Shouldn't.
[ He murmurs it against Flynn's shoulder, his eyes falling shut. He should really sleep, or eat something at least. His body feels heavy, weak ]
What would it do, Flynn? Then we'd both be stuck in there. Don't want, don't want that to happen to you. Don't want to see you like that. Too good [ For that, too good to let that happen to. ]
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He shouldn't engage. He knows that. Yuri is exhausted and talking more than he ever does, and Flynn knows very well what ridiculous things he'd said when he was shaky-limbed from his own rebirth, chased by memories of dying. He'd been full of fear and guilt and shame all at once that Yuri had to support him like that, and he can only imagine Yuri is feeling some combination of the same thing under the leaden wall of exhaustion pressing him down.
With a rough sound, Flynn tugs at Yuri, pulling him back along the bed to make him lie down. ]
What would you have me do instead? Abandon you?
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He drops back onto the bed, curling up with the blanket wrapped tight around him. He doesn't want to let it go, too warm both from the heat and from the knowledge that Flynn gave this to him, Flynn thought about what he might want or need and got this for him, and that makes him feel all sorts of things. ]
I-- dunno. Make a better plan than "get stuck in there again."
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I had a better plan.
[ He shifts a little closer still, watches Repede stretch out along Yuri's other side. ]
It was "get Yuri out too."
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Oh, yeah? How were you gonna do that?
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Sword.
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And he says "swords."
A laugh wells up in Yuri's chest, his body shaking until it bursts out of him, bright and loud, and for the first time in too many days, he feels happy. He's happy and safe and home and, yeah, that was horrible. It was terrible, and he still hurts and his mind feels heavy, but Flynn is right here next to him, saying he would have taken on all those guys with just his sword because he wanted to get to Yuri and
Yeah
That's fucking hilarious. ]
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It's worked— [ he swats at Yuri without meaning it at all ] —plenty of times before!
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[ Yuri waves his hands back at Flynn, feeling a lightness in his chest when he opens his eyes to see Flynn's too-blue eyes right there, so close to his, and his breath catches on a laugh. The laughter still bubbles in him, but it's forgotten now, watching Flynn laugh.
He has it so bad.
So bad, and he's so relieved and so tired and Flynn is right here and damn it, he loves him. ]
no subject
[ Now Flynn is just pushing to keep that smile on his face, to keep the warmth in his eyes. Later, they can deal with the horrors Yuri inevitably saw, being drained of his blood for some awful purpose. Later they can come up with a plan to take the whole thing down with a little more complexity than "storm in there and get Yuri back."
For now, though, Flynn cranes his head just enough to kiss Yuri again, trapping their smiles between them. ]