i'm faithless now

[specifiercity]

Who: Arthur (specifiercity) & Asami Sato (futureinventor)
What: Event & General prompts for November!
When: Throughout November
Where: All over! I'll update here for the open prompts!

Content Warnings: event warnings generally apply, a little bit of Arthur's PTSD getting triggered (within the event)

[if you wanna plot with me hit me up at dreamalittlebigger!]

Comments

[falsify]

I don't know if that's possible.

[ He means for it to sound like a joke, but it doesn't. He just sounds pitiful and tired. ]

[specifiercity]

Well what am I supposed to do, then?

[He throws up his hand, frustrated and tired. He lets out a shaky breath looks away, anywhere but Eames at the moment.]

[falsify]

Come-- Come here.

[ He wants to reach for Arthur. Grab his wrist and pull him down like he would if he was fine. But he's not and he can't. He just looks up at Arthur, desperately trying not to look as weak as he feels. ]

You need rest too.

[specifiercity]

[He feels a sting in his eyes and shakes his head, taking yet another deep breath. He thinks about how to do this, how to talk to Eames about everything going on in his head and his chest and his stomach, but caught between all their spoken and unspoken agreements it's hard to put anything together. He finally glances over and makes an admission.]

I was really scared last night.

[falsify]

[ There are no words for how desperately Eames doesn't want to talk about this-- about any of it. There's a door, but it's flimsy, and just behind it is every ounce of terror and pain he felt in that place. Every moment some part of him considered giving up. The way his throat felt scraped raw and he wondered just how much he'd screamed and why he couldn't remember it. ]

[ Eames swallows and frowns, looking at Arthur's chest. ]

I'm sorry.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur can't hold it in if he's still. Every moment he sits here doing nothing makes that more and more clear. And it was fine last night when Eames was passed out, when the only witnesses to his bare fear were Boxer and their omens, but just as Eames wants to keep his door shut Arthur would very much like to do the same.]

Can you just... let me help you?

[falsify]

I don't--

[ He swallows again, an edge of panic rising in his chest. He doesn't understand why they can't just lay down, get some more rest, instead of focusing on this. On his injuries. It's not like it'll really make such a huge difference. ]

[ What's he supposed to say though? Just leave him grimy and bleeding? Eames closes his eyes, breathes out a shaky breath and nods. Fine. ]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur decides he'll make it quick, as a compromise. He doesn't even ask Eames to try sitting up so he can get at his back, he just focuses on his stomach and chest, methodically working around the wounds and cuts to keep from hurting him.]

[Once that's done he wrings out the cloth and folds a clean corner of it over his fingers to get some of the blood and grime out of Eames' beard. It's hard to avoid his eyes, but he's doing a pretty good job of it.]

[falsify]

[ Eames works his jaw, but aside from the occasional wince or hiss of pain he does well at keeping quiet. He's doing his best to cooperate, and the way for him to do that is to do as little as possible to acknowledge what's going on. He stares past Arthur to the ceiling above them like he's trying to will himself to dissociate. Just step out of his body for as long as it takes for him to be clean enough. ]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur puts the bowl and the cloth aside and sighs. He knows that he should just lay down with Eames, maybe that would make him feel better. Maybe it would make them both feel better. But instead his shoulders droop and he looks down at his lap, just thinking.]

[falsify]

[ Eames exhales heavily once it seems like Arthur's done, still staring at the ceiling. At this point he just doesn't know what to do, because Arthur seems absolutely focused on this, but Eames hates it. And he's sure Arthur thinks it's stubborn pride but it's not. Every sting and ache makes him think again of being in that tower, of trying to navigate through the haze of blood and pain. ]

[ And in turn it makes him think of Samantha. Of Harris. Of witches and vampires before them. And he can't give in to that. He can't. ]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur sighs and looks up at Eames at last.]

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

[falsify]

I don't think there's anything you're supposed to do.

[ Eames meets his gaze with a frown. ]

You're a state and I can't even-- [ He pauses. Exhales. Recalibrates for a lighter tone. This is a silly problem, ha ha. ] I don't think I can manage drinking that glass of water on my own--

[ As if his body wants to make a point, he coughs and it's followed by a feeble whine and some failed attempt to curl in on himself with the pain that follows. Eames' brows pull together in a brief moment of upset and his gaze moves back to the ceiling for a moment or two. ]

Just lay with me for a bit. Please.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur sighs, the nods after a moment. He's not sure what will happen to everything that's threatening to bubble over if he just lays down, but it's what Eames wants and it's what his own body wants, so he decides to acquiesce.]

[He slips into bed, carefully so as not to jostle Eames too much. He curls up to his side, resting his hand on a spot on Eames' chest where it hopefully won't cause him any pain.]

[God he's fucking tired. He almost feels like he could fall asleep right away.]

[falsify]

[ Eames makes a soft, pleased noise when Arthur's curled up to his side and tentatively he lifts a hand to cover Arthur's on his chest and closes his eyes. ]

[ ... And he's out like a light. ]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur's out soon too, but it doesn't really feel good. Less like rest and more just like the temporary escape that it is.]

[And it proves to be quite temporary.]

[He's only asleep a few hours before a nightmare wakes him. After a minute or two of panicked, wordless murmuring he lets out a soft yelp and sits straight up in bed, eyes wide and breath heavy.]

[So that's cool.]

[falsify]

[ Eames' sleep isn't exactly peaceful either, and when Arthur wakes suddenly it wakes Eames up in a panic. He sits up straight, adrenaline overriding the fact that that's a fucking mistake as his eyes dart back and forth to try and find the source of the danger. ]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur pretty much woke up mid panic attack, so now he's just trying to get his breathing under control. He's vaguely aware of Eames sitting up beside him, but all he can do is murmur that he's sorry between gasping breaths as he buries his hands in his hair, knuckles white.]

[falsify]

[ Eames turns his head, trying to calm himself down. This is fine. They're at home, they're safe in their room. He's breathing heavy, one arm across himself as pain starts to bloom at the edge of his senses like that'll help at all. ]

[ He swallows, gasping down a deep breath. ]

Wh-- what happened?

[specifiercity]

[Arthur's curling in on himself, knees drawn up and head bowed.]

I — I had a...

[He rubs his eye with the heel of his hand.]

It was just a dream.

[falsify]

[ Eames groans, mirroring Arthur and curling in on himself for different reasons. He puts a hand down on the bed between them and leans on it with a soft grunt. Still breathing heavy, but it's fine. everything is fine. ]

Where are you now?

[ like are you still in it or still freaking out or what ]

[specifiercity]

I'm here, I'm here.

[His eyes are squeezed shut but he turns his head a little towards Eames.]

I'm sorry.

[falsify]

No- no.

[ He shakes his head. ]

It's not your fault.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur shakes his head.]

I don't wanna do this again.

[He looks up, looks at Eames, as exhausted as he's every felt.]

You should lay back down.

[falsify]

Yeah.

[ Arthur's right. Eames sighs and carefully tries to get himself laying back down, biting his lip to try and hold in the grunts of pain and effort as he does. ]

[ He looks up at Arthur with a frown once he's finally laying on his back. ]

What are you going to do?