deercountry | ( CLOSED ) I JUST WANT YOU FOR MY OWN.

It's all right.

( stefan tightens his hold on her hand. he doesn't think she's going to interfere but it's for his benefit as well as hers. he doesn't want to get involved either and he knows he'll be tempted.

he takes a few slow breaths and looks over at the group, at katherine in the corner. )

Freaking original vampires.

[ they suck.

especially those who are so fearful of them they manhandle their precious doppelgängers. trevor looks at katerina longingly as rose shoves her into a room.

katherine doesn't think to stay here with rose and trevor. she grips stefan's hand and walks towards the room katerina's been shoved inside, opening the door without so much as a sound alerting the other vampires in the room. she remembers this moment. she had listened as intently as she could before deciding that she wouldn't be returned to elijah or klaus. her past self begins to look quietly throughout the room for something—anything—that might help her. ]

That's a really nice dress, don't you think?

[ she's ignoring what katerina is doing, rifling through drawers and beneath blankets. ]

It's...fine, I guess.

( he glances over at katherine, a little concerned about her since she's complimenting the dress but he doesn't press. he let's her do it since this has to be ae jarring thing. )

What's she looking for?

( he can't stop himself from asking that, though. )

Something to stab herself with.

[ katerina finds it in the sharp point of a shard of glass. holding it in her hands, the glass cuts her palms but it spears itself into her gut after she takes a few seconds to work herself up. katerina's quiet, muffling her own grunt of pain, and discards the piece of glass in a drawer as quietly as she can. ]

It was quick thinking. I knew from Trevor the basics of being a vampire, so I thought… what better way to be absolutely useless than to not be the human sacrifice anymore.

( katherine's standing here beside him but seeing her stab herself makes him flinch and he looks away for a moment. he knows that she comes out of this all right but it's not easy to see.

he swallows and looks back over after a moment. )

That had to have hurt so badly, Katherine.

[ she thinks to tell him she barely felt it. adrenaline had been one hell of a drug. ]

It did.

[ katerina looks to the closed door before shoving herself against the wall. a few moments later, rose storms in. she's a flurry of anxiety and anger. katerina had known then what it meant for her to come and find trevor, but she thinks that she hadn't understood the severity of her presence here. she'd put rose and trevor in danger. katherine still doesn't regret it.

rose smells the blood in the air and roughly handles katerina, disregarding her attempt at a lie that she had fallen and hurt herself.

as rose cracks open her wrist and shoves it against katerina's mouth, katherine tsks and murmurs, ] And she sealed her fate right there.

[ rose has no one to blame but herself for what's to come. ]

( stefan isn't sure he wants to know what's going to come but he's not going to leave either. he swallows, making himself watch the whole thing. he doesn't like what's happening but he knows it's in the past and that katherine's okay.

so, he just keeps his hand in hers and stays where he is even if a part of him wants to go over there to help her, get her away from all this. )

What's going to happen?

[ she inhales deeply through her nose as she watches rose leave the room. katerina's mouth is bloodied. her eyes never leave rose's back until she's gone. ]

I'm going to kill myself.

[ she glances at stefan before she looks around the room, looking for that rope that katerina will find in only a few moments. when she sees herself gently push away from the wall, katherine doesn't watch her. she knows what happens next. she can sometimes feel the burn of the rope around her neck even five hundred years later.

she recites it factually, ] They'll find me hanging from the rafter. [ she points to the high rafter above them. ] And I'll complete my transition by feeding on the poor compelled old woman. Then, I'll run for five hundred years.

( so, this is where it started. he swallows, tightening his grip on her hand. he knows it might be painful but she's not going to say anything. )

We don't have to watch, Katherine.

( even if he thinks he already knows the answer, he wants to give her the choice to not watch, to not have to see this happen again. )

I know.

[ she sighs quietly. she could look away and not watch katerina find a thick and long rope... or she could be present for a girl who felt alone in a strange, foreign country. ]

I was alone for months.

[ many months, friendless, doing her best to try and acclimatise to a new culture and world. katherine's still so surprised by how well she slipped into the english culture around her.

she peers up at him. ] Do you think it's weird I don't want her to be alone?

No.

( he shakes his head after a moment and looks over at her. )

No, it's not weird. I just wish she knew somehow that she wasn't alone. That there was someone here for her.

[ katherine remains facing him as katerina manages to miraculously not stumble and make a loud noise. she knows what comes next. katerina will be brave and stupid all in one. ]

She will in five hundred years.

[ she peers up at him before she lifts her hand to cup his face, wanting him to look down at her. as much as she wants to be there for herself, to be present in ways no one else was, he's right—she doesn't want to see this. and she doesn't want stefan to, either, as katerina takes herself off of the chessboard with a clatter. ]

( he swallows and doesn't resist when she pulls his face down to hers. he doesn't want to see this happen even if he doesn't want her to be alone. hearing it is hard enough.

he swallows a few times, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead to hers. )

You're all right.

[ rose rushes into the room. katherine's memory of this is murky at best. she remembers rose at her feet, tugging at her as she came to. what she sees now is a literal blur as the trench doesn't even try and fill in the blanks for her. ]

Do you wish you had a choice in turning?

[ katherine peers up at him with a strange, serious look. it's not a question she's ever asked him before. she's never wanted to know, always presuming he never wanted to turn at all. ]

( the question catches him off guard and he looks down at her, surprise on his face. )

Wouldn't...everyone like a choice?

( he doesn't know the right answer to this question so he tries to be honest. )

I don't regret how it happened. But if I had to turn then, I think I would have liked a choice.

[ everyone has a choice. they either transition or they don't. she thinks to tell him that, but she forgoes it. she had chosen to transition to survive. stefan had chosen to transition to not leave damon alone.

and with katerina coming back to life in the other room and the stench of blood as the old woman dies, katherine knows that, despite what she didn't know, she'd always choose to turn. ]

I had no idea what I was doing. I just knew I had to bite that old lady to be able to get out of here. No one gave me the Vampire 101. [ she looks at him, then down at his chin. ] I guess no one did for you, either.

No one did.

( he'd woken up hungry and desperate and so confused. his brother had been there but he'd been the same way. he looks down, shaking his head. )

It's why I've tried to help people when they've turned in Mystic Falls. If they let me.

( CLOSED ) I JUST WANT YOU FOR MY OWN.

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