Deer Country Mod (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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deercountry2021-12-08 02:19 am
reddosmod) wrote in deercountry2021-12-08 02:19 am
Entry tags:
- *event,
- ahiru: timmy,
- anakin skywalker: michele,
- ange ushiromiya: jelle,
- anna amarande: celene,
- ariadne: wizera,
- cassandra: drizz,
- chara: kai,
- darth maul: shade,
- darth nox: saint,
- fat billie: lucy,
- glitch: ceej,
- izuku "deku" midoriya: tea,
- lance: charley,
- luna lovegood: cheryl,
- luz noceda: pedro,
- makoto kino: mesi,
- manabu yuuki: elle,
- mebh og mactire: oggy,
- minako aino: fay,
- nehan: ray,
- obi-wan kenobi: timmy,
- orpheus: qv,
- palamedes sextus: laura,
- paul atreides: beth,
- peter graham: jhey,
- reaper: vette,
- rose da silva: jhey,
- savage opress: vette,
- scorpia: gore,
- snow white: jax,
- soldier blue: elle,
- stiles stilinski: charley,
- varian: tf,
- willow rosenberg: lucy,
- wu: mads,
- yuri lowell: mads
I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't
DECEMBER 2021 EVENT
WINTER MOURNING
RUN, RABBIT, RUN
LOCKJOINT
CODING
Hello! We are trying a new style of event this December with archival-like entries that characters can ICly find in the Archives. This should allow characters to be able to plan against certain events that occur in-game and do research ahead of time, during the event, or after the fact.
The idea is that these prompts will provide you with all the possibilities characters could theoretically face from the prompt. We hope this leaves more open-ended opportunities for people to engage with. Anything mentioned in the excerpts could be an experience characters encounter. You can always ask for clarification on any prompt on the plotting page.
This is a way to keep all event prompts relevant since new characters would be able to "read up" on these events/excerpts by visiting the Archives or other such resources for information about past events and what they can anticipate from the setting.
We hope this new style makes sense and is fun for players to work with! They will rely on players creating more of the atmosphere than the prompts, but we think that the prompts will provide the perfect guidance as to what the atmosphere should feel like. Enjoy!
IMAGE DESCRIPTORS IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE
Prompt One
[Image One: Holiday themed antler decoration.]
[Image Two: White stag with perfect, circular antlers with bits of ice attached.]
Prompt Two
[Image One: Sculpture of white rabbit with neck caught in a snare. Non-graphic.]
[Image Two: Person in red cloak and wolf mask turning around.]
Prompt Three
[Image One: Puppet making bloody snow angel in snow.]
[Image Two: Bloodied hands wrapped in bandages clenching.]
The idea is that these prompts will provide you with all the possibilities characters could theoretically face from the prompt. We hope this leaves more open-ended opportunities for people to engage with. Anything mentioned in the excerpts could be an experience characters encounter. You can always ask for clarification on any prompt on the plotting page.
This is a way to keep all event prompts relevant since new characters would be able to "read up" on these events/excerpts by visiting the Archives or other such resources for information about past events and what they can anticipate from the setting.
We hope this new style makes sense and is fun for players to work with! They will rely on players creating more of the atmosphere than the prompts, but we think that the prompts will provide the perfect guidance as to what the atmosphere should feel like. Enjoy!
Prompt One
[Image One: Holiday themed antler decoration.]
[Image Two: White stag with perfect, circular antlers with bits of ice attached.]
Prompt Two
[Image One: Sculpture of white rabbit with neck caught in a snare. Non-graphic.]
[Image Two: Person in red cloak and wolf mask turning around.]
Prompt Three
[Image One: Puppet making bloody snow angel in snow.]
[Image Two: Bloodied hands wrapped in bandages clenching.]
WHEN: Begins in December and can last until the end of Feb.
WHERE: Everywhere
CONTENT WARNINGS: Spoilers for various canons, survival situations, forced memory share
WHERE: Everywhere
CONTENT WARNINGS: Spoilers for various canons, survival situations, forced memory share
[A passage from Rituals of Trench: Remembering Our Pasts reads the following:]
"A long-standing tradition to celebrate Bone Season is for Deerians to collect antlers and bones salvaged from natural resources and create decorative home accents. These antler-bone decors are known formally as Winter Mournings and can be found in almost every residential home throughout Deer Country. Winter Mournings can be made to look like wreaths, candle holders, or simply an antler with a bow hung up on a wall.
Winter Mournings is seen as a way to honor one's past tribulations and how one has managed to survive and overcome hardships during their life. Winter Mournings serves as a testament to survival and a willingness to keep surviving even when things look bleak and dismal.
Creating Winter Mournings is considered a blessing to the Pthumerians Dorothea, Remina, and Argonaut. You will know if the blessing was accepted once your Winter Mourning begins to glow like the moon. Touch your Winter Mourning and you will be pulled back in time to a memory of a specific time when you or someone else had to survive something physically or mentally challenging. For some, it is merely a memory that cannot hurt, but for others, you may want to proceed with caution as it has been known to pull people physically back to times of war.
One cannot choose which memory they wind up in if it is their own, a friend's, or a complete stranger's. Winter Mournings was designed to create a sense of union and empathy among residents and is meant to open your mind and heart to those who have suffered around you. It is time you explore your past, or someone else's past, with an open mind and see how the other side has lived through hard times. These memories are known to be from adolescence, adulthood, or sometimes even futures that have not yet happened or timelines you have never known. After all, Remina sees all past and all history. That means they see all of your past and history too.
No memory lasts forever though. Once the memory has been concluded, you shall be brought back to the present by the Winter Mourning Stag: a great white beast with a circle of frozen antlers. It will come to you when the time is ready, and you will return to the present like waking from a dazzling dream.
Experiencing Winter Mournings can stabilize one's mood and provide restful sleep after, even if the memories may be difficult to swallow. It truly is a tribute to honor past horrors and traumas. Some memories are painful to remember, but forgetting them will never do anyone any good either. So hang your Winter Mournings and remember what matters.
Survive another day. You are worth it."
FAQ
"A long-standing tradition to celebrate Bone Season is for Deerians to collect antlers and bones salvaged from natural resources and create decorative home accents. These antler-bone decors are known formally as Winter Mournings and can be found in almost every residential home throughout Deer Country. Winter Mournings can be made to look like wreaths, candle holders, or simply an antler with a bow hung up on a wall.
Winter Mournings is seen as a way to honor one's past tribulations and how one has managed to survive and overcome hardships during their life. Winter Mournings serves as a testament to survival and a willingness to keep surviving even when things look bleak and dismal.
Creating Winter Mournings is considered a blessing to the Pthumerians Dorothea, Remina, and Argonaut. You will know if the blessing was accepted once your Winter Mourning begins to glow like the moon. Touch your Winter Mourning and you will be pulled back in time to a memory of a specific time when you or someone else had to survive something physically or mentally challenging. For some, it is merely a memory that cannot hurt, but for others, you may want to proceed with caution as it has been known to pull people physically back to times of war.
One cannot choose which memory they wind up in if it is their own, a friend's, or a complete stranger's. Winter Mournings was designed to create a sense of union and empathy among residents and is meant to open your mind and heart to those who have suffered around you. It is time you explore your past, or someone else's past, with an open mind and see how the other side has lived through hard times. These memories are known to be from adolescence, adulthood, or sometimes even futures that have not yet happened or timelines you have never known. After all, Remina sees all past and all history. That means they see all of your past and history too.
No memory lasts forever though. Once the memory has been concluded, you shall be brought back to the present by the Winter Mourning Stag: a great white beast with a circle of frozen antlers. It will come to you when the time is ready, and you will return to the present like waking from a dazzling dream.
Experiencing Winter Mournings can stabilize one's mood and provide restful sleep after, even if the memories may be difficult to swallow. It truly is a tribute to honor past horrors and traumas. Some memories are painful to remember, but forgetting them will never do anyone any good either. So hang your Winter Mournings and remember what matters.
Survive another day. You are worth it."
FAQ
1. Winter Mournings can produce new memories every time you touch them or the same memory.
2. Characters cannot choose what the memory is.
3. Characters can arrive in each other's memories regardless of if they already know each other. Multiple people can experience the same memory.
4. You can either experience the memory as a memory you can't touch or experience - or you can physically be in the memory and have to survive the situation as well. If you die in memory, your body will die wherever you had been touching the Winter Mourning.
5. Palebloods are capable of altering memories or how they or others experience memories.
6. Characters can be pulled into memories at random - as long as one of the characters in the memory share is touching a Winter Mourning at first.
WHEN: Month of December
WHERE: Everywhere/the woods
CONTENT WARNINGS: Themes of hunting, ghosts, curses, attempts at animal violence, hunting people based on blood types.
WHERE: Everywhere/the woods
CONTENT WARNINGS: Themes of hunting, ghosts, curses, attempts at animal violence, hunting people based on blood types.
[An excerpt from Legends of Trench: Curses and Causations reads the following:]
"One of the most notorious legends of Trench is without a doubt the tale of The Huntress and the Hare. Most Trenchies have been told this tale since they were children, but for those unfamiliar, settle in.
This story begins with a mischievous god and an ambitious huntress. The Pthumerian Dorothea loved to play tricks on hunters trying to survive the Bone Season, setting animals free from traps and remaking the traps to catch the hunters instead. One day, a darkblood Huntress was fed up with Dorothea preventing her from catching food for her family and decided to settle the score. The Huntress began to hunt for Dorothea specifically, but it is no small feat hunting the god of trickery and survival.
The Huntress started to rely on her darkblood powers to alter reality to make the perfect traps. Innocuous trees turned into glue traps that anyone would stick to until they were freed by a darkblood or death took their pain from them. Walking through bushes would snag legs and necks, effectively trapping whatever creatures were unfortunate enough to wander for food. Magical snares and beartraps lock around victims with unrelenting force, leaving people and animals to try for help until they cry no more. While this took many innocent lives in the woods, animals, and people alike, it never seemed to work on Dorothea.
Dorothea continued to outwit the Huntress until she eventually drove the Huntress insane. The Huntress died without ever catching Dorothea, but they say her vengeful spirit awakens in winter and begins to set her traps yet again. The Huntress sends her traps and her dead animals after vilebloods and warmbloods to spite Dorothea and hope to maybe catch the god's attention. But Dorothea is no passive god. Dorothea spurs vilebloods and warmbloods to defend themselves against darkbloods and coldbloods.
Infamously, this has created enormous tension between the blood types during December some years, and it is said that the blood lust has caused the types to begin hunting one another regardless of old friendships and alliances. Beware the Huntress's curse. Some believe darkbloods and coldbloods can still hear her haunting commands and cries from the Trenchwood.
They say there is no ease for the tension between the bloodtypes until December has passed, but some believe palebloods may provide relief if they are willing."
FAQ
"One of the most notorious legends of Trench is without a doubt the tale of The Huntress and the Hare. Most Trenchies have been told this tale since they were children, but for those unfamiliar, settle in.
This story begins with a mischievous god and an ambitious huntress. The Pthumerian Dorothea loved to play tricks on hunters trying to survive the Bone Season, setting animals free from traps and remaking the traps to catch the hunters instead. One day, a darkblood Huntress was fed up with Dorothea preventing her from catching food for her family and decided to settle the score. The Huntress began to hunt for Dorothea specifically, but it is no small feat hunting the god of trickery and survival.
The Huntress started to rely on her darkblood powers to alter reality to make the perfect traps. Innocuous trees turned into glue traps that anyone would stick to until they were freed by a darkblood or death took their pain from them. Walking through bushes would snag legs and necks, effectively trapping whatever creatures were unfortunate enough to wander for food. Magical snares and beartraps lock around victims with unrelenting force, leaving people and animals to try for help until they cry no more. While this took many innocent lives in the woods, animals, and people alike, it never seemed to work on Dorothea.
Dorothea continued to outwit the Huntress until she eventually drove the Huntress insane. The Huntress died without ever catching Dorothea, but they say her vengeful spirit awakens in winter and begins to set her traps yet again. The Huntress sends her traps and her dead animals after vilebloods and warmbloods to spite Dorothea and hope to maybe catch the god's attention. But Dorothea is no passive god. Dorothea spurs vilebloods and warmbloods to defend themselves against darkbloods and coldbloods.
Infamously, this has created enormous tension between the blood types during December some years, and it is said that the blood lust has caused the types to begin hunting one another regardless of old friendships and alliances. Beware the Huntress's curse. Some believe darkbloods and coldbloods can still hear her haunting commands and cries from the Trenchwood.
They say there is no ease for the tension between the bloodtypes until December has passed, but some believe palebloods may provide relief if they are willing."
FAQ
1. Characters will increasingly feel the urge to actively hunt one another using traps/etc.
2. The Huntress's curse includes undead animals/beasts chasing after warmbloods and vilebloods and magical traps. Players can invent unique traps for their characters.
3. There will be an innate urge to chase/hide from one another.
4. The curse can be broken by paleblood intervention, character death, or a gradual wearing off by the end of the month.
WHEN: All of Bone Season
WHERE: On Sleeper bodies
CONTENT WARNINGS: Mild body horror, blood magic curses, physical curses, cures through blood ministration/blood letting, possible skin removal, injuries, possible death via starvation/exposure.
WHERE: On Sleeper bodies
CONTENT WARNINGS: Mild body horror, blood magic curses, physical curses, cures through blood ministration/blood letting, possible skin removal, injuries, possible death via starvation/exposure.
[An passage from The Sleeper Condition; Chapter 13: Bodily Aches and More. Found exclusively at the Lumenarium:]
"Generally speaking, Sleeper blood allows Sleepers to navigate this world without the fear of illness and disease. However, no organic body is perfect, and Sleeper blood has its own set of ailments to fret over. Blood Ministers have studied the phenomena of Lockjoint for years now and believe that it is linked to the crystalization found in Sleeper death, though the exact connection remains unknown.
Lockjoint tends to begin and last throughout Bone Season. Some Sleepers may never experience it, but for many, it becomes a reoccurring issue to dread each season. This condition forces blood magic to gather at the joints and effectively lock up. Sleepers find it difficult to move their bodies at the bends, fingers, knees, shoulders, etc without some form of discomfort. Minimal lockjoint can be painful and annoyance, but critical lockjoint can be fatal.
The most severe cases of lockjoint documented have shown Sleepers to have crystalization form over their joints, rendering parts of their bodies completely immobile. Some Sleepers have been found dead in this condition, all their joints crystallized, and it is believed most died from natural causes thereafter.
One can determine they are experiencing lockjoint when the coloration around the joints begins to darken in color, typically looking like a bruise. Calcification may occur rapidly the more magic a Sleeper uses or the more they expose themselves to outside elements. It is imperative that Sleepers remain properly clothed during Bone Season, even if they are coldbloods, and to invest in enchanted clothes that can lock in heat.
A known cure for lockjoint is the art of bloodletting. Puncturing the joints with small incisions seems to allow a release of the built-up magic and can provide immediate relief to the Sleeper. Catching lockjoint early is imperative. Alternative methods are soaking in hot springs and salted water.
Those who are in a more severe state will have to carefully have the crystals removed. This will likely remove the skin as well. Local anesthesia is highly recommended for the procedure. This process is known to leave scarring. The crystals can be saved and used as bloodstones from whoever they were harvested from. If you find a Sleeper dead from lockjoint, make sure to harvest the crystals as they are incredibly valuable.
This curse is believed to stem from Sleeper blood magic congealing within the body in contrast with the atmospheric magic of Bone Season. There is no known prevention for lockjoint. Lockjoint can impact all Sleepers regardless of bloodtype or the material their bodies are made from."
FAQ
"Generally speaking, Sleeper blood allows Sleepers to navigate this world without the fear of illness and disease. However, no organic body is perfect, and Sleeper blood has its own set of ailments to fret over. Blood Ministers have studied the phenomena of Lockjoint for years now and believe that it is linked to the crystalization found in Sleeper death, though the exact connection remains unknown.
Lockjoint tends to begin and last throughout Bone Season. Some Sleepers may never experience it, but for many, it becomes a reoccurring issue to dread each season. This condition forces blood magic to gather at the joints and effectively lock up. Sleepers find it difficult to move their bodies at the bends, fingers, knees, shoulders, etc without some form of discomfort. Minimal lockjoint can be painful and annoyance, but critical lockjoint can be fatal.
The most severe cases of lockjoint documented have shown Sleepers to have crystalization form over their joints, rendering parts of their bodies completely immobile. Some Sleepers have been found dead in this condition, all their joints crystallized, and it is believed most died from natural causes thereafter.
One can determine they are experiencing lockjoint when the coloration around the joints begins to darken in color, typically looking like a bruise. Calcification may occur rapidly the more magic a Sleeper uses or the more they expose themselves to outside elements. It is imperative that Sleepers remain properly clothed during Bone Season, even if they are coldbloods, and to invest in enchanted clothes that can lock in heat.
A known cure for lockjoint is the art of bloodletting. Puncturing the joints with small incisions seems to allow a release of the built-up magic and can provide immediate relief to the Sleeper. Catching lockjoint early is imperative. Alternative methods are soaking in hot springs and salted water.
Those who are in a more severe state will have to carefully have the crystals removed. This will likely remove the skin as well. Local anesthesia is highly recommended for the procedure. This process is known to leave scarring. The crystals can be saved and used as bloodstones from whoever they were harvested from. If you find a Sleeper dead from lockjoint, make sure to harvest the crystals as they are incredibly valuable.
This curse is believed to stem from Sleeper blood magic congealing within the body in contrast with the atmospheric magic of Bone Season. There is no known prevention for lockjoint. Lockjoint can impact all Sleepers regardless of bloodtype or the material their bodies are made from."
FAQ
1. This impacts characters regardless of blood type or their body - meaning it can impact characters with metal/plastic/plant/wood/etc bodies.
2. Players can choose how rapid or severe this gets and how quickly they can be healed.
no subject
No. Listen to me.
[ Please, he doesn't say, but the plea is in his voice anyway. He needs Yuri to understand. ]
I wouldn't have. Of course I wouldn't have! I couldn't have, but—did you forget your own convictions that quickly? You said yourself that no law would have held them accountable. You were right. Alexei wouldn't have. Ioder might have, but it's highly unlikely. Ragou told me himself that it was my word against his and my word means nothing to the Council, even now! They hate that they have to listen to me, and to get them to punish one of their own? Ragou might have been a monster, but he was right, and so was Cumore. There was no justice coming for them. I couldn't have done anything.
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[ Literally, sometimes. He can see it, when his mind strays, when this place gets too much for him, he can see his hands dripping with wet blood.
He leans back to look up at Flynn, and Repede whines, shifting on the couch to look at Flynn, too. He wets his lips, and takes a breath that rasps in his throat ]
Maybe I didn't say anything because, she's right.
[ He's a murderer, a criminal. Maybe he deserved it, deserved to get his own punishment for the wrongs he did. ]
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[ Flynn says again, in a smaller voice. He sounds less like a knight and more like a kid, watching Yuri struggle with words just like he is. The anger drops from him like water, and Flynn hangs there for a moment in the air, watching him, trying to understand how this got so wrong. How could he be so wrong? How could they both—
Repede whines again, and Flynn swallows back the thickness of his own voice and steps closer, then closer still, and stops there in front of Yuri with flames crackling quietly in the fireplace behind him, lighting up the edges of his skin. ]
She isn't.
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But it doesn't come. He doesn't come, and Yuri slowly looks up at him. He could argue, maybe he should, but there's another part of him that so desperately wants for Flynn to want him, for Flynn to be there in their bed when he gets home late at night, for Flynn to hold him close and want him there.
His tongue feels thick and he opens his mouth to say something, but it won't come ]
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You're telling me [ Flynn's voice is quieter now, still pleading, because he's trying to understand too. His head is clouded. This happened after Alexei, too, after Yuri cornered him in Nordopolica, asked him what the hell he was doing. The world had gone gray, and then understanding had dawned bright and searing, and everything changed shape. ] that Sodia... thought you were a threat. To me. And that you think she's right.
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Yes.
[ It's just one word, said hoarsely, dredging up so much than that word. How Flynn was perfect, a perfect knight because he molded himself into that. How he was everything he always wanted to be, how Yuri saw the disappointment in his face when he would come by the Comet and see Yuri still bumming around in the lower quarter. How Yuri is the opposite of perfect, how he only stumbled into saving the world because no one else was there to do it. How he's by Flynn's side because there's no one else, there's no one he trusts to be there. Except for the one person who puts Flynn above everyone else, the person who tried to kill him. ]
no subject
Flynn asked for understanding, he thinks faintly, and Yuri is giving to him. Thank the Goddess he can at least trust Yuri to give him the truth, painful as it is to hear it.
He wavers, and then sinks down slow and steady until he's on his knees in front of the couch, looking up at Yuri rather than down, taking in the hard expression on his face. ]
Why?
no subject
I...
[ How does he explain it without Flynn getting pissed at him?
Or maybe, that doesn't matter. Flynn can decide what to do with it. Flynn doesn't see him as he is, just like Blue said that Yuri doesn't see Flynn like he is. ]
You kept making choices about me, making exceptions to laws and rules. You almost got yourself killed for me, more than once. Back home, I would drag you down.
[ But not here. It's one of the reasons that Yuri has gone along with it,
not put a stop to it, because Flynn isn't the Commandant here, he doesn't have as much to lose. But back home? He could lose everything he worked for because of his feelings for Yuri ]
no subject
When Flynn fell into that river as a child—jumped, really, to save someone else—he'd only lasted a few seconds above the roaring water before the current dragged him under. He remembers the sky, bright blue and mocking, and the sharp bite of cold water, and he remembers losing his sense of direction, swimming for what he thought was the surface only to touch rocks and then be yanked away again, spinning into dizzy chaos.
The world shifts, and Flynn frowns. ]
And... you didn't want me to do that.
no subject
[ Yuri sighs, pushing a hand into his hair. Flynn's really going to make him explain this, isn't he? ]
You, you're doing what we said we would do. You're making the world a better place. I... hell, Flynn. Yeah, I did some good stuff, but I'm not-- I can't. Be like you.
no subject
[ Flynn bites down on the word with a frustrated sound, making himself take a moment to pick through—that. All of that. Beside him Daisy huffs and bares her teeth at Yuri before pushing her nose against his knee.
Flynn sucks in one breath, and then another. His nails press little half-moons into his calloused palm. ]
You saved the world. I am not going to argue with you about whether or not you're doing good, because that's stupid and pointless, but Yuri, I don't want you to be like me!
no subject
[ Yuri thinks for a second that Daisy might bite him, but she doesn't. She doesn't and he tentatively pets over her snout. Is that a peace offering? ]
You were pretty damn disappointed in me, Flynn. I don't blame you, I messed everything up. I know you asked LeBlanc to try and get me to rejoin the Knights. I, I couldn't do it.
[ Flynn should know that. Should know he couldn't. ]
no subject
LeBlanc asked you to rejoin the knights? When?
no subject
[ Yuri frowns, meeting his eyes now ]
He said, he would arrest me unless I joined up. I thought... [ that Flynn put him up to it ]
no subject
But even the, he didn't have the authority to tell another captain to do something like that. Perhaps his rushed promotion was already in the works, but the only person who would do something like that is... ]
His Majesty.
[ It's a murmur, punctuated by Flynn's brows drawing together as he thinks. ]
Strange. I wonder...
[ Maybe Ioder was trying to keep Yuri close. Maybe he'd realized what Flynn had: that the Knights had truly fallen too far, that Yuri is one the best people around. Maybe it had been a neat solution to a messy political problem, a vigilante-turned-folk-hero who Flynn certainly wasn't going to let be arrested for things he shouldn't have had to do, no matter Yuri's infuriating assumption that he had to take on all the world's shit.
He looks up at Yuri again, still frowning. ]
That had to have come from Ioder.
no subject
[ Flynn knows he couldn't hack it in the Knights. He seemed to have accepted it, but there was always that thought in the back of his head that Flynn wanted him to come back, that he'd had to made that concession to keep Yuri out of prison.
Well, this isn't really what's important here. ]
So, what do you want, Flynn? I... it's up to you.
no subject
[ Flynn hesitates. That's the real question, isn't it? What does he do now? What does he want? Yuri didn't tell him because it was Sodia's responsibility, but Sodia isn't here. She can't speak for herself, not...
his breath catches. ]
She came to get you. To help us, in Hypionia, she asked for your help—
no subject
[ He was so pissed when she did, disappointed that she would be brave enough to take him out to protect Flynn, but not brave enough to put her own life on the line when Flynn was facing the end ]
Look, I don't like her. I'm never going to like her. But she was still looking out for you, and, hell, if I can help you? I'm going to.
no subject
So you decided that your life was less important than me having someone I thought I could trust.
no subject
Someone who would watch your back when I couldn't? Yeah.
no subject
[ Flynn bites the words out, sharp and short, trying to control his own anger because it isn't Yuri's fault, of course it isn't, but Sodia is not here to accept the consequences. Sodia wouldn't have, apparently. She kept it to herself for months and months, even when Yuri survived, even after asking him for help, and that is...
Flynn drags in a breath that scrapes at him. ]
I don't know that she would have.
no subject
Yeah, well.
[ Not his problem. If anything, he thinks that having this hanging over her made her more loyal to Flynn, more likely to stay close, to make sure to make up for what she did ]
no subject
You can't just decide that for me.
no subject
You're right. I'm sorry. I thought she'd own up to it, and you could decide, but-- she didn't.
no subject
[ But Flynn is so tired of the word should and it's evident in his voice, a brittle thing choked with more feeling than he'd like. His head is bowed, and he isn't really seeing anything, trapped in the whirl of his own head. ]
When you were gone, I... looked. I couldn't stop looking. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't—I just, if you were out there, and you needed me, and I wasn't there?
Sodia is the one who pulled me back. She reminded me of my duty. Told me I was needed. That—
[ His voice is so tight, near to breaking. Flynn's own ironclad control is the only thing keeping it together. ]
—that you wouldn't want me to leave the people behind. And she knew! That whole time, she knew what she had done, and that she had ensured you probably wouldn't survive, and I don't know how to take that anymore! I'm so tired of being kept in the dark!
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