deercountry | return those voices echoing in the sea (closed)

...this is yours.

[ At least, this time, Mako had meant to touch the thing. The first time it had been a simple brush of shoulder-on-bone and he'd been yanked into something he really didn't want to relive. This time, the reason is pretty obvious: Mako is shadowed by a lack of sleep, his skin oddly gray and flaky, though mostly covered by a thick knit sweater he'd gotten back in Deerington. If not for the odd gray tinge he might look fine, but as it is he's stiff-shouldered and tired and his hair is a mess, and he's looking at the other Ange and someone who... has to be her brother with trepidation.

He watches her mouth move silently for a moment before looking at his own Ange, the one he knows, and frowning deeper. ]

Do you have something to apologize for? This going to get bad?

.. yeah.

[ There's that tiny pause before she says it. It shows that there's a moment of hesitation, since Ange can be blunt and direct to drop that answer right away.

And yet something made her stop for a moment. Maybe it has to do with this specific memory. Or perhaps she's too distracted by the way Mako just looks kind of off today, in a way that can't be caused by the memory. After all, it's hers, not his.

She's about to ask about it, but then the memory distracts her. Just some movement out of the corner of her eye making her look back at the figures, still silent for a moment, like a TV put on mute.

She wonders if it is because she ought to explain all of this. Or any of this.

Maybe she should, if he's been dragged into this memory. It might end up being even more cruel without context. ]

That guy over there. [ She points at the young man. ] I'm sure you already guessed, but that's my big brother. The reason he doesn't look older than me there is because--

[ God. Ange knows this reason is going to sound ridiculous to anyone not from her own world, hence why she cuts herself off, starting anew in a way she thinks is going to make more sense. ]

Because.. Mako. If you had the chance to go back in time to save your parents, would you?

Yeah.

[ No hesitation, not for an instant, even if the question is kind of a non-sequitur. Mako keeps his eyes on the younger man, so much like Ange. More time nonsense? Ange mentioned that there was a lot of it in her world, Mako remembers that much. He wonders if this young man has long to live, if this is another memory. What's about to happen to him.

Quietly, he shifts a little closer to Ange. ]

Don't know if I'd succeed. I was a kid. Barely knew how to bend, but... I'd still try.

Why?

[ It's a familiar sentiment, really. Before Ange got her own actual chance, she already had imagined it so many times. Despite being such a little kid, there would have to be something she could do. ]

Because I got that chance. [ She replies, her gaze fixed on the other Ange and the guy in the chair, rather than on Mako himself. Like she's trying to burn the sight into her eyes. ] At some point, a witch appeared before me. She told me that I had a chance to save my family. Apparently another witch had killed them all, and she had lured my brother into playing a game with her, with the lives of our family at stake.

[ It's not hard to tell that it's what's going on here, considering the way Ange's brother and the blonde woman are seated opposite each other. The woman does seem kind of otherworldly, with her fancy big dress and the golden pipe she's holding in one hand. ]

She told me that I could go back in time and join the game at my brother's side, to help him win and bring our family back home. So I took that chance.

[ Finally the memory starts to move more. The Ange in the memory grabs onto her brother's suit, clenching the fabric in her hands. There's desperation in her eyes as she speaks up, so much more emotion than there usually is in Ange's tone as she speaks up: "Your little sister is waiting at home for you to come back. If even you don't come back, she'll be all alone forever...! For your little sister's sake, please, win this witch's game...!" ]

The only condition was.. that I wasn't allowed to tell him who I really was.

Why?

[ It's the only question Mako can pull from the confused rush of indignant anger on Ange's behalf. All of that pain, all of that suffering, because—what, some witch, a thing Mako didn't even know existed before arriving in Deerington, wanted to torment Ange's family? The blonde woman sitting across from the two of them thinks so little of their family that their lives are tied to a game?

There has to be some reason, but Mako isn't even sure what answer he's looking for here. What reason would make this okay? What reason is there ever for this kind of senseless violence?

He's gritting his teeth, he realizes, and digging his own nails into his hands. Mako makes himself stop, but his shoulders are still tight with anger and the need to do... something. Anything. ]

Can we help? What did she want? What was the game?

[ Because if she had the power to save them, and was a kind person, she simply would have, but Mako knows that's not how people work. Of course she wouldn't just offer that up, of course they would need to earn it, to trade for it. ]

...

[ Ange glances over at Mako. Mostly because of that tone in his voice. Maybe it shouldn't be surprising, maybe most people could acknowledge that this sort of thing was cruel - but Ange has spent so much time back home only around witches that she's never really been able to have another party's reaction to it.

And yet she can see it now. Mako is obviously getting agitated. It's radiating off his body language like crazy. And just.. for her sake. He has no stake in it, after all.

Ange knows that nothing can be changed about this memory, that it just is what it is, but even him just asking means a lot. Still, it's not the question she ends up answering when she feels like it's the one with the worst answer of all here.

Even if the others aren't much better: ]

The game was.. that witch constantly killing off our family members in various ways, before reviving them and doing it all over again. And my brother had to always prove how that could have been done through human means rather than magic, or else he'd lose the game. [ So yes, it was cruel. It's why there's no good answer to the why either. So much of it felt like cruelty for cruelty's sake. ] And my brother..

[ Ange's gaze turns back to the red-headed young man. ]

He's a lot like your brother. In the sense that his heart is way too big. [ She remembers what Mako told her about Bolin. What she learned from talking to Bolin himself. The type of guy who couldn't even leave behind a single ferret. Ange's voice grows softer around the edges, with obvious affection, yet also lined with pain. ] It started to wear on him more and more. He couldn't handle seeing his family dying that often. It was breaking him.

[ And if Mako looks over at Ange's brother, he should be able to see it too. Something about the look in the guy's eyes is vacant, like his soul has left his body. Tears are starting to stream down his cheeks as he speaks up: "But the thing is.. I don't know anymore.. Why do I have to keep repeating this incomprehensible, cruel game with Beato forever? I've.. had enough.."

The Ange in the memory shakes her head, still insisting, still desperately speaking on. "You've had enough, right?! Then fight so that you can return to your family!! Destroy Beatrice and go home!!"

That somehow seems to agitate the guy only more. His voice rises in volume. "No, I've had enough of witches...! Enough of Beato, enough of everything, and even you're probably just another one of the witch's allies... I could be betrayed again at any time! I can't trust anything! Leave me alone, leave me alone!"

At that last part, he seems to shake off the hold the Ange in the memory had on his suit, pushing the girl bodily away from him. ]

So he lost.

[ Mako's tone is dull this time. How can it not be? He can't imagine. He'd killed Ming-Hua, an enemy who was absolutely going to kill Korra if given the chance, and he still has nightmares about it: her screams, the thud of her body, the light fading from her eyes. Mako would do it again, if he had to—of course he would—but death isn't some small thing, even in a place like Trench where it doesn't count. It apparently didn't count here, either, and it would still wear on him.

To a softer person? To Bolin, happening over and over with nothing he could do to stop it?

It would break him.

As her brother pushes her younger self away, Mako reaches up to press a hand onto his Ange's shoulder. He isn't sure what it will do—maybe nothing, probably nothing—but he can't do anything else, is trapped like some kind of ghost watching this kid lose and Ange try anyway, and at the very least he can be here, and witness this, so that Ange isn't alone. ]

Not yet.

[ Ange's throat feels dry, watching this from some odd third person point of view, but she glances over at Mako when she feels the hand on her shoulder. ]

He was going to lose. .. If I didn't do something about it. That was the moment I realised why I was here. Why that other witch had invited me into this game.

[ Ange doesn't seem to mention what that reason was, but perhaps she feels like it will become clear soon enough. Especially as the version of her in the memory is moving to the back of the seat her brother is sitting on, wrapping her arms around him from behind. Tears start to stream down her younger self's face.

"It's me, it's Ange..! The Ushiromiya Ange of a world where no one comes home...!! My entire family... never came home from Rokkenjima that day...!! The witch before your eyes stole away my whole family, even you, big brother! Only you can finish her! Finish her...!! Then, take your family back!! And then, come home to me...!!!"

Something about that seems to return some life to her brother's eyes, as he starts to slowly speak up again. "Ange.. You were.. Ange..? Beato did that.. to my family..?"

It's only then that the blonde witch seems to speak up, otherwise just having watched the two up to this point. She casually waves her pipe around. "...Hmph, as she says. I will not run away or hide from it. I stole Ushiromiya Ange's family away from her." Then the witch's expression twists - into a sneer - as she continues. "Battler is my toy! His father and mother too, all of them are my toys.. I won't give them back to you. You may continue to wander alone forever, awaiting the return of your family that is never to be..!" ]

[ Then, maybe—

Mako's hand tightens on her shoulder as the younger Ange talks, practically pleads, putting all that emotion on the line just for a chance at saving her brother and her family. ]

Do you know why she was doing this? Why your family? Why play like this?

[ Wasn't that exactly what she was trying to figure out so desperately back home? Why any of this was even happening? Moving on to Trench meant leaving the past behind in the past and no longer looking into this, but..

She can't deny that it still hurts, somewhere deep down. ]

No. [ She speaks, softly now. Perhaps because of that hand still lingering on her shoulder. ] I know it has to do something with my brother, at least. That's why it's happening to my family. [ Of all people. ]

But as to why she's playing like this.. It's because that's what witches do.

[ It feels so natural to Ange, so she has to remind herself that this isn't normal in Mako's world. That witches don't exist there, thankfully. ]

They live so long that they get bored, and then they start playing with human lives like this. Because they think it's funny.

Sounds like spirits.

[ The words are muttered through gritted teeth. Mako is itching to do something about this, but he's pretty sure no one in this memory can see or hear them. How can they? They're just two ghosts, watching the past, taking in Ange's tearful desperation. ]

Does no one try to stop them? Is—are you trying to stop them? Were you?

I was. [ But while that's true, and easy to answer, Ange is still frowning. ] But.. it's not like there was much I could do. I'm just a human, you know? I knew some magic at this point, since I was slowly becoming a witch myself to try and fight them on their own level, but I wasn't even anywhere close to their powers yet.

[ Especially at this point. Even now her own magic is stronger in Trench, she still doesn't think she could fight one of the stronger witches head-on if one appeared in that place. And she's already gotten so far since the point in time in this memory too..

Ange looks up, something in the memory catching her attention. Something she remembers very well. ]

.. see?

[ She points over at the Ange and Battler in the memory. Neither of them can see it, since it's coming at them from behind, but there are things appearing from the shadows cast on the wall behind them. Flying pliers and other instruments are appearing from there. ]

Remember when I just said that I made a contract with the witch to join this game, but that the only condition was that I couldn't reveal who I really was? This.. was my punishment for breaking that rule. Because it was the only way to make my brother fight on. [ It had been her only option. After all, doing nothing and letting her brother lose and be used as a toy by the witch wasn't an option in the first place. All Ange could do was break that rule and remind her brother of what he had to fight for, even though she figured out what its consequences were. ] I couldn't do anything to stop this.

[ The instruments are slowly reaching out to the Ange in the memory, latching onto her body.. and ripping chunks of flesh, the size of a thumb or so each, right off her and discarding them on the floor.

And then they return for more. ]

Ange!

[ Mako's voice is full of a breathless kind of horror, and he gives up trying to stay still, wrenches himself away from Ange to—move toward her, fix this, something. This is awful. This is—

This is Deerington stuff, and Mako can't just sit by and watch his friend get torn apart. He can't. Why else is he here? ]

[ Mako can move forward. In fact, he'll find that he can move through the space however he wishes. But the moment he'll try to reach out to the Ange in the memory, or her brother, or those pinchers that keep moving towards her and tugging on her.. he won't be able to touch a thing. His hand will just go right through anything, like a ghost.

After all, they aren't actually here in this memory. ]

.. Mako, it's fine.

[ It's the actual Ange that ends up saying that, not the one that is being torn apart right there. Not the one who is still clinging onto her brother, preventing him from looking and seeing what's happening to her behind him.

The blonde witch sitting on the other room can see what's happening, but she doesn't seem to be standing up or making any move to stop it, unlike Mako himself.

And the actual Ange can't bear to look at it anymore, instead directing her gaze towards her shoes. ]

This already happened.

So, what—

[ Mako makes another futile grab for one of those pairs of pliers but they tug at Ange all the same, going right through him like he's steam, like he's nothing. He growls under his breath and tries and fails again. ]

—I'm just supposed to watch this happen to you? How long did this go on? How did you stop it?

[ Part of her wishes that this could be different. That Mako could do something. Not even for her own sake though - since, as she said, this just happened. Nothing now can change it anymore. It's part of her past. But maybe it might at least have made him feel better if he could have done something to stop this.

Then again.. if they were an active part of this memory, would Mako be able to do something against those witches? He'd just get himself killed.

Maybe it's better like this after all, she thinks, before finally speaking up again. ]

I didn't. [ ... ] Stop it, I mean.

[ More and more pieces are ripped off the Ange in the memory, even though she still desperately clings to her brother, trying to talk to him despite him starting to freak out about the blood that's starting to drip down her arms and onto him, asking her what's going on.

The Ange in the memory refuses to tell her brother what's going on, instead telling him to just not turn around, while the actual Ange still speaks to Mako. ]

This is where I died.

[ Mako grabs for another pair of pliers, fails, and finally makes a rough, angry sort of sound and whirls, crossing both arms to stop himself moving. ]

For good?

[ It's a difficult question. One that could have both 'yes' and 'no' as an answer, and Ange isn't entirely sure which to say because of that.

So instead her gaze shifts from the awful scene towards Mako. Staring directly into his eyes now he's whirled around, it's easier to just focus on that, rather than those way too familiar sounds. ]

I mean.. I'm alive right now, aren't I?

[ It's the best answer she can give. 'Technically not.' ]

.. a witch transfered my consciousness into an alternate version to me after I died. But it was just to play more of these games with me. I was never going to escape their game, no matter how many times they'd kill me. [ Her tone is surprisingly even as she says it - but it's since it's the only way to cope with this. Pretend like it's nothing, even though it's awful. ]

[ It's a tactic Mako knows entirely too well, which doesn't mean it hurts any less to hear Ange using it too. The more blasé, the more dismissive, the deeper the wound being covered. Dying here only to pulled into yet another cruel game, just because these people were powerful and could get away with it... ]

Did coming to the dream get you away from that cycle?

[ She nods. ]

At first I wasn't sure that was it. When I first showed up in Deerington.. I assumed the same thing had happened again. [ That another witch had dragged her to yet another place. That it was all part of the cycle. ] It took me a while before I was even able to believe that wasn't the case..

[ After all, it could have been a witch playing the long game. It's just like their cruelty, waiting until she has finally had a taste of freedom to reveal that she hadn't escaped it at all. ]

But going to Trench finally fully cemented it for me. I'm no longer just.. a toy for those witches.

You were never just a toy.

[ Sudden, fierce words that take even Mako by surprise. He can't turn his back on the younger Ange, on her suffering, even if there's nothing he can do. It wouldn't be right to let her bleed like this, let her die, or nearly, without anybody witnessing it. It's hard to watch, but Mako keeps himself solid and still as the earth. ]

When I first woke up there, I thought nothing could get worse than that nightmare, but. There were so many people who didn't have anything to go home to. A lot of people I think the dream... saved.

[ .. right. Just in the way he words it.. Ange remembers something that she doesn't always consciously think of. Mako and all those others from his world probably could just have gone home after Deerington. There at least would have been something there for them, right?

And they're not even the only ones.

Ange quietly contemplates it, slowly breathing out. ]

I.. guess it saved me.

[ Though it feels odd to put it that way. Especially given the crappy, crappy nature of Deerington. ]

I never had anything in life. Nobody cared about me. At first I thought that was weird, but then those witches let me know I had been raised that way on purpose. Just so I could be the perfect pawn in their little game. [ Maybe it's also said slightly in response to what Mako says first, about her never having been a toy.

She knows what he means, but at the same time it's so hard to believe it when that was the moment everything made sense to her. All the suffering. Why her life was so miserable. It had all been on purpose. ]

.. I was never meant to be a person. I was just meant to be something that would sacrifice itself right in this very moment. [ She gazes over at the Ange in the memory.

There's hardly anything left of her by now, and yet she still clings onto her brother, crying. It makes the actual Ange's gaze a bit hollow and heavy as she stares. ]

[ Like Wu, Mako thinks despite himself, and finally turns away from the Ange in the memory, pulled apart for no reason, clinging to the only family she had.

Mako probably would have done the same, for Bolin. Let himself get torn to bits for a chance of getting out of this awful game.

He shifts toward his own Ange, the Ange he can actually do something for, and without thinking too hard about it, reaches out to offer her a hand. ]

Guess you're pretty good at defying expectations.

[ There's a faint moment of hesitation. Not that she fears physical contact with Mako necessarily, since he's someone who seems to understand her so easily - but it's more just that she's feeling particularly vulnerable in this moment.

And she's just a little afraid of emotionally breaking down.

But she tries anyway. After that moment of hesitation, she does take his offered hand, and even something in the way she holds it feels weirdly tender and emotional.

Ange swallows thickly. ]

.. you think so?

Look at you.

[ Soft, rough-edged words full of a kind of strange, tender pride. Ange is falling apart in front of him, being torn to pieces, but she's here and whole and standing there, facing all of this. Mako knows how hard it is to get back up after being shoved down, and Ange has been shoved down more than he ever knew. ]

You're whole. You have a... whole life here, away from them. Looks to me like you're a lot more than any of them gave you credit for. You kept going.

return those voices echoing in the sea (closed)

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