let me look at the sun | open

[terriblepurpose]

Who: Paul Atreides, open
What: Event catch-all
When: Month of December
Where: Archaic Archives, streets of Trench, the forest's edge, memories
Notes: Go ahead and contact me at terriblepurpose or by PM if you'd like to discuss any starters or suggest new ones! For tagging in your character's memories to Paul, feel free to start with whatever your preference is.

Content Warnings: Violence, body horror (lockjoint), death, religious extremism, extensive Dune spoilers, suicidal ideation, funerals, grief

Comments

[thinkfirst]

Understood.

[ Another order, taken and acted on: Flynn's eyes flash in determination, his jaw setting at a high, stubborn tilt. This is a memory, and nothing in his own memory so far has changed. Perhaps they're just ghosts, playing at differences that cannot be.

If he stands, Alexei will have him arrested on the spot. He has no patience for green knights sent to backwater towns, and Flynn knows very well that Alexei could have purposefully been trying to get rid of Niren. How long was he like this? Was he truly never the man Flynn thought he was?

He can't think about that now. Still on his knees, Flynn sucks in a breath. Standing is a death sentence, but Alexei can be made to talk, so Flynn will simply have to talk. It's the easiest path.

That figured out, he clears his throat, halting some of the knights already moving to arrest them. He will have to pull on all of his own authority, the learned voice he had to adopt when he was put into Alexei's position. ]

Stop!

[ This, to the knights, in that commanding tone it took him months to perfect. They stop, surprised and unsure. ]

Alexei. Before you do that—you know that keeping Princess Estellise locked away like a bird in a cage is only going to drive her away from this castle, don't you? You must see that you're restricting her too much. What is your plan?

[ There is a beat, a ringing silence. The knights hover, frozen, looking between them. Flynn's heart is pounding, but he has been asked to stall, so he must keep talking. ]

Instead of carrying these plans alone, why not ask your loyal knights for help? Haven't you cultivated that kind of loyalty? I would help you, if only you would ask. You are carrying so much alone.

[terriblepurpose]

[Flynn's clear voice catches Paul's attention as much as the nights, as much a reflex as their responses are. He's been trained to follow commands as well as give them, and there's a certain tone that must resonate across universes.

You are carrying so much alone closes his throat like a hand wrapped around it, after everything that came before it, from the first disastrous attempt to this final crushing moment. He draws a bloody sigil on the floor in his own blood and doesn't breathe, doesn't think, only traces a pattern that does not exist until his vision blurs and his headache sharpens like a knife between the lobes of his brain.]

He won't ask. [Quietly, tiredly, only for Flynn's ears.] It's not that he doesn't know that he could. It's that you would keep asking him to choose something else, and he thinks you wouldn't understand. And then what would he have to do to you?

[The magic will trigger any moment now, reanchoring Flynn and shifting him out of harm's way to stand outside the memory. Paul doesn't know if there will be a double left in his place, or if there will be nothing. He isn't even sure how he broke what he's trying to fix by breaking one of the cardinal rules of these memories. But it should work. It should.]

[thinkfirst]

Your Excellency!

[ Flynn says from on his knees, younger and desperate in a different way: Flynn himself, the present-Flynn, stands behind him trying to catch his balance, his head spinning and his hand braced on Paul's shoulder, the only thing anchoring him in this half-dream. Alexei looks at him, still cold, unmoved, and Flynn's stomach flips. He doesn't see them. He only sees a young and desperate knight on his knees, begging for help that won't come, failing the first mission ever given to him. ]

I will dispatch reinforcements as soon as the ceremony is over. Your brigade is to hold the fort for now.

The situation is urgent! The citizens are in danger!

[ Alexei snorts, and the stag reappears from behind his desk, stately and unmoved, as the younger Flynn flinches under the force of Alexei telling him to know his place, that there is no place here for amateur knights with ideals bigger than their sense.

Flynn's hand tightens on Paul's shoulder. ]

We—we should follow it. Go. I don't... if I couldn't reach him even here, then perhaps I truly am as naive as he believes me to be.

[terriblepurpose]

[The hand on his shoulder steadies Paul too, something he's sickly grateful for as this keeps unfolding in front of them. The stag's arrival barely registers as his eyes stay fixed on the younger Flynn. It's only the real voice of his counterpart that stirs him, and Paul rises from the floor stiffly, shrugging away Flynn's gripping fingers. They're more than he's entitled to by far.]

The fault doesn't lie with you. [He's still speaking softly as he unwinds the chain from his wrist, its links corroded brown-black.] You're right. We should go.

[He makes himself meet Flynn's eyes, if Flynn cares to meet his, and either way he says:] It wasn't supposed to be like this.

[With that, he'll approach the stag when Flynn does, a half-step behind to be sure that Flynn crosses over before Paul. He keeps his eyes averted from the rest of the memory. He's taken more than enough as it is.]

[thinkfirst]

[ Flynn does meet his eyes, and he is momentarily trapped by what he sees there: a sort of regret, to his eyes, for someone he has never met. It's striking because it's the sort of thing Flynn has learned that not many people truly feel, the sort of thing that... he doesn't get very often. ]

It never was. Thank you for trying.

[ Flynn reaches out carefully, ignoring the stifled breath and the clank of armor of his younger self as he pushes, defeated, to his feet to go meet Estellise and wait, rejected, with her. His and Paul's business here is concluded, an equal failure, and after that the stag's quiet fur is a comfort. It looks back at them both, waiting for Paul's hand, and only begins to walk when they are both touching, leading them out of this half-space forgotten in time and back to a present where, hopefully, they will have more of an impact. ]