deercountry | 🦅 🦅 🦅

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Who: falco grice, others, and you!
What: a catch all for the month including a player plot, general prompts and event prompts in the comments, all open!
When: december; date will be in the header if any!
Where: waves hands at too many places

Content Warnings: possession, violence, gore, self harm, child death, war imagery, child soldiers, racial oppression, genocide, forced experimentation, torture, mutilation, gun violence (against children)

see below for open prompts of all kinds! if you have any questions or would like to plot something specific, hmu at

liberos!

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I’m sorry you had to.

[ he’s sorry that anyone really has to. it stings terribly fresh, with the exorcism still leaving emotional scars on a handful and physical on dipper. ]

Sometimes my home didn’t have many choices, but if I could— I always tried to make new ones.

[ until he couldn’t. ]

It wasn't a fun time, trust me. Some people can do stuff like that and justify it because of how awful those people were. I've only recently been able to allow myself to remember that.

[Because instead of that Luz is plagued with the idea she might prefer doing this to seeking new solutions, that something in her liked ending her enemies this way. It wasn't true, but Luz was still consumed with regret that it had to happen at all.

And from the sound of it, Falco seemed to have run into that same situation too].

I think most people would want to. I can probably guess you've had your own past coming to haunt you, the way you talk.

[ you and i both, falco thinks. a fun time would be a festival or ice cream. anything related to death was horror. he presses his lips tightly together, because it was a hard topic to begin with. gabi had been one of those people, but it wasn’t just on her— he’d defend her. it was a mix of tendency, personality and where you’re brought up, how you’re raised. both falco and gabi grew up in the same environment, but their tendencies were vastly different. their personalities were.

he’s just glad there was time for change, and this wasn’t about gabi. he keeps her remorse tucked safely in his heart. ]

I don’t remember the times I’ve killed someone. [ he says it outright. ] And it wasn’t because they had to be punished . . . Never. They just— happened. Most were accidents.

[ including the most recently charred dipper. ]

There was only one time that I chose to fight, or else my friends would die, but I . . . Don’t remember that, either. [ it was his first shift and he had lost control, as all first timers do. but still, his expression falls. ] That doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. I think about it all the time.

[ there’s one perpetrator behind that, and one alone. ]

War doesn’t give you too many options.

[There was still a lot Luz had to understand, and coming to Deerington had blown her open to comprehending exactly how easy it was for a kid to be surrounded by violence and death. She was lucky enough that it wasn't a constant here, but that didn't mean it was welcome when it happened either.]

Accidents? You kill by accident? So that would mean...something happens to you that you can't control.

[She was slowly starting to put the pieces together, mostly because she couldn't see how someone like Falco could do it otherwise. Clearly he was not someone who was fine ending other people].

If that was how the chips fell, I'm sorry. It's bad enough to have to kill when you don't want to, but it's even worse if what happens to you is beyond even your control.

War? Is that happening in your world?

Yeah . . . Between the country I was born in and an island. Right before that, a neighboring country.

[ most would say my country, but falco is hardly patriotic. ]

I had to fight in them.

Oh. Wow. I'm really sorry.

[He was her age, wasn't he? That was too young to be in a war, and he had to go and kill people? That was awful. Luz was still not happy about her own involvement with having to kill anyone, but in Deerington, it was too hard to avoid something like that without dying yourself].

It's pretty messed up that kids like us have to get involved in ending lives to begin with. Unfortunately, you're not the only kid I've met that had to do that too.

[ younger, luz . . . younger 😭 ]

It’s messed up for anyone. [ the age didn’t matter, but the younger you are certainly made the trauma worse to work through. he’s reminded of reiner, chief deputy reiner— who was so high ranking, wished to disappear from the world because of the lives he couldn’t keep baring to have taken. he gives a nod, but wishes that fate and lost childhood upon no one. ] Even the adults . . . Break. It’s like we weren’t meant for this.

[ humans, as a whole. but some are still twisted and still do it. ]

[Oh boy].

You're right. Really wished this kind of stuff didn't happen to anyone. Seeing people break...maybe I haven't gone that far yet. I know I've felt that way though. I've gotten close.

How do YOU deal with it?

[ how did he cope? part of it was unhealthy pacification or wanting to help every hurt soul that crossed his path, but looking at it in retrospect? it was the least harmful to others. there was also, one more thing. the strongest thing.

the one thing falco would throw away his life in a heartbeat for, as he’s already done. ]

There’s . . . This girl. I want to be happy with her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. [ which wouldn’t be a long one, given his circumstance, but it was still everything he could’ve wanted. falco drops his head a tad lower, most of his neck up to his ears darkening into a deep red. ] I focus on that. She needs me— and I need her. I can’t break.

Oh. A person.

[Why did she ache like that now? NOW? She hasn't had a person and it never bothered her before. Granted, she hadn't had that slow revelation of her attachment to Amity, and of course now it seemed like just about EVERYONE had someone they cared about to that capacity. Why did it bring a tightness to her chest]?

That's still something to strive for though. She must be pretty special. Is she here?

[Still, wasn't he pretty young to be feeling that way? Was it just something that happened different in other worlds]?

[ very special, and he nods to that with a weak smile. alas, ]

She is to me, but . . . She’s not here. M’glad she’s not. Even though I miss her and . . .

[ he’d do nearly anything to see gabi again. even if it’s for just a moment. just a second to hug or share cake, or for her to tussle his hair or squeeze his cheeks to bother him.

that does quickly remind him to rummage into his pockets and pull out four palm sized photos. the first one is already of her and her cousin— so he points at the sepia snapshot. ]

Her name’s Gabi.

I know what you mean. I'm sure there are a lot of people we like, or really care about, but the reality is if they're here, that means they have to suffer a little bit too.

[Eda, Luz knew, was strong. She'd been in Deerington before she arrived, so she knew she at least was capable of keeping her head. Amity...well, Luz just thought of her and what she'd been through. How she had to fight Grom. How her parents made her get rid of her best friend because she wasn't from a higher family. There was no way she'd want her here.

Even if thinking that felt painful and lonely].

Oh! She looks nice! Gabi. Honestly though, I wish you were with her not here too. It sounds like you already deal with a lot with that last place.

Home's . . . Not that better.

[ he smiles awkwardly, with all the wars and whatnot— ] But at least we were working together, there. We were fighting for something better, even if it's for a little bit, or for the future.

[ even if he wouldn't get to live too much of it. just a little bit was enough. ]

Yeah, I think I was starting to gather that.

I couldn't just leave you in a place like that. I know that it's just a memory, but I didn't want to think of you being by yourself suffering.

A little bit?

[ he didn’t want to say it. things have been down as is. in the coming month when palebloods get a lead in honesty, falco wouldn’t be able to hide it anymore, but for now . . .

he’ll keep that to himself for a little while longer. thus, after a strained pause in trying to work the words out, falco gives a small shrug. ]

It’s dangerous out there, is all.

[ hell, he just died. he’s only here now because trench worked that way. if he was back home? it’d be the end, just like colt. ]

[There was a lot that Luz still didn't know and would discover about her friends, but she was definite that Falco's whole backstory was just full of struggle, much like Clementine's].

You can say that about a lot of places though. Sometimes its more or less dangerous, but things can still happen to you."

Yeah, [ falco nods, voice quiet, ] that’s what I meant.

[ even if it was more or less— it was all still dangerous one way or another. he didn’t run the risk of getting hit by a missile, but there were others things that could be worse, no matter where he was.

either way, he’s talked enough. ]

Thanks for helping me, Luz.

[Luz was sure there was more to that, but she was also willing to bet he was holding on to that for now. She could respect that: this alone had been pretty rough.

Luz knew she shouldn't underestimate what places like this could throw at a person].

Of course I would. I know the only reason I can interfere is because of my Paleblood, but I can't just let someone I care about stay in pain, even in a memory.

[At least, that was what Luz thought. With some others, she'd find that all one could do was see where their actions would take them].

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cw for suicide ideation mention

Re: cw for suicide ideation mention

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