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[grice]

Who: falco grice, others, and you!
What: a catch all for the month including a player plot, general prompts and event prompts in the comments, all open!
When: december; date will be in the header if any!
Where: waves hands at too many places

Content Warnings: possession, violence, gore, self harm, child death, war imagery, child soldiers, racial oppression, genocide, forced experimentation, torture, mutilation, gun violence (against children)


see below for open prompts of all kinds! if you have any questions or would like to plot something specific, hmu at liberos!

Comments

[droptheious]

[Oh boy, this sounds more and more familiar, and while Varian's got the benefit of years behind his terrible mistake, he knows the feelings surrounding it have never gone away. They've gotten better, yes, very slowly, but he always carries a pretty heavy weight of self-loathing around.]

...I can understand that, too. I- [he exhales] it's like trying to balance the scales, right? Like you but X amount of bad in the world so you have to put Y amount of good to make it...less bad.

[Varian knows his problems are at least gone now. Fixed. Even if there are wounds that will never heal.]

Is it something that can only be solved back home?

[grice]

I’m working on it, home.

[ it’s weight, certainly, but it’s something that he wouldn’t let come to pass on a greater scale— not again. if he has to dump every year of life that he has left into that, so be it. it was the price. ]

But . . . It happened here, more recent.

[droptheious]

That's good...that you're working on it. It's important to.

[Varian could sure agree with a sentiment like that. He did a lot, back home, to try and even out the weight. And then he chose to come here. It almost feels like running away, but...]

Oh. Well...you can work on making things right here, as well. Was it something influenced by the city?

[grice]

[ the easy way to explain it without running a motor—?]

A ghost— sort of. With me. [ falco’s hand gives a light pat over his chest, as if gesturing to a part of himself. ] I still have fault, though. I can’t just blame everything else.

[droptheious]

[Oh. Well. That sounds familiar. ]

Like... a demon? There are a few people here who have those with them. [With varying degrees of control of the people they possess.] Well, if you do have a fault, then this is a good place to work on that? One thing we have here is plenty of time to do better...uh, be better.

[grice]

I don’t . . . Like the comfort in that. Other people having similar things.

[ of course, there was a certain solidarity toward those who were possessed by something or other, but falco really did dislike that it was comforting in the first place. these things shouldn’t even be in them to start.

but, that’s just a little thing that gnaws at him, and nothing that could be changed. an absent minded opinion that makes him feel bad for feeling like not being alone in that was something to feel good about. ]

I think— I need to be more careful. And think clearer, even if it’s easier not to.

[ talking about it might help sort it out. ]

[droptheious]

No...I guess it's not the most comforting thought, huh? Other people suffering like you do. But at least you have someone who...understands? I guess?

[He's pretty sure it would only be a complete sociopath who really took comfort in other people's suffering- at least without feeling bad about it. ]

Easier said than done, but it is possible. My advice is to take it a step at a time, try not to charge right into something. Every time I've done that, it's ended up a mess.

[grice]

[ it was funny that falco hardly charged into things much, but it was starting to become a little more habitual than it used to. he always thought before, at least when he could, and when he couldn’t think he did just shoot himself into harm’s way. mostly to protect gabi. or, someone important. ]

I can start with the smaller things again. [ baby steps, like varian said. ] It’s hard to think first when someone needs help, especially.

[droptheious]

[That's where it always got you, Varian found. Trying to save other people. It tended to put common sense out of the window. ]

Yeah, I know. I uh... I have a habit of trying to put other people before myself a lot. [Which is why his corruption is setting further and further in. ] So I know it's...not easy. Makes you feel like you're ignoring people who need you, huh?

[grice]

[ yes, absolutely yes, to the point that falco must inhale as he nods and looks up (at nothing in particular) as he considered. ]

There isn’t balance for that yet, is there?

[ like. he knows it’s the right thing to do, but his brain is also going: wrong protect loved ones at all costs! ]

[droptheious]

I haven't figured it out yet if there is.

[He doesn't know if he should want it or not, it does feel selfish wanting one. He offers Falco a wry smile.]

But hey, if I ever find one, I'll let you know.

[grice]

[ unspoken solidarity . . . falco nods and seems to be growing a smile of his own. considering, everything, actually— ]

It was nice meeting you, Varian.

[ he offered to talk, they talked— and on top of dank memes, it helped in the overall long haul. ]

[droptheious]

[Nothing forms solid friendships like solid heart-to-hearts and dank memes! He returns the smile.]

Nice to meet you, too!