deercountry | (no subject)

There was a lot to admire in his work. More so than her own, if she was being honest. "I never got to go on lifesaving missions like that," she said. "My work with the resistance was always...I don't want to say 'less honorable.' But if I did it right, no one ever knew I was there."

And she wasn't looking for glory. Far from it. An Alastrian's safest protection was anonymity.

It was more...the idea of actually seeing the lives being changed.

She liked that.

"You must...you and your friends...you must feel so sure of yourselves, of what you're doing. Does...that make sense?"

Luke's expression softened, his fingers absently tracing the lip of the cup.

"I've had to go on missions like those, too," he admitted. "One on Jedha was... well, I learned a lot there."

He rested his arms on the table, leaning forward slightly.

"It's not easy," he continued. "There is so much that happens around the galaxy that we need to keep track of. So many people that need help, that need relief from the Empire. Yet at the same time, there are people that are so convinced the Empire is the only way to do things, that things were worse during the time of the Republic. There are times you question what you're doing, if you're doing the right thing."

Luke met her eyes then, his smile back, though it was a little sad.

"There are times it's not always easy to say, 'Yes, I'm doing the right thing'."

"I guess...those are the times when you need to believe it the most. So you can find whatever you need to keep going."

She pushed aside her mug, tracing triangles against the grain of the table's surface. Triangles were a sacred shape to the Elves. Mudorism believed in three great tenets: Strength, Knowledge, and Bravery. All three in balance. All three connected and flowing through each other.

Bravery was the easy part. The others were harder, sometimes.

And she wondered where self-confidence fell in that triad.

"I think you're doing the right thing. For whatever my opinion is worth."

Luke nodded faintly; she was right, of course. Finding out Vader was his father, after "knowing" him as a good man and Jedi Knight... that had definitely shaken his resolve, made him question if he was doing the right thing this whole time or if he was just being used. He learned the answer for himself, of course, but it had been a long road, and several hard lessons learned along the way.

He offered a smile at that last bit, almost reaching a hand out to her, before he stopped.

"It's worth more than you think," he replied. "Thank you."

Her eyes followed his hand. Forward, and then back again. And she couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. Luke was the only boy she'd ever held hands with and...she kind of liked it.

She turned her own over on the table, palm up.

"All I ask," she said quietly, "is that you let me help. If...if you need help." With Anakin. Obi-Wan. Any of them, really.

He peered up at her almost shyly at the pretty clear offer, before he reached out again. His fingers gently traced the lines of her hand, marveling privately at how small her hand was -- smaller than Leia's even.

"I will," he said, his voice soft, like he realized what he was doing was intimate. "I promise."

It was, by far, the most intimate thing she'd ever done.

Even more than dancing. She realized how much the girls at court would laugh at her for that. But she tried not to measure her life by them. For one thing, they were all wildly unhappy. For another, they were Elves. Which was something that she could never actually be.

"I believe you," she said. He was too much like her not to. After all, when she made a promise, she always kept it.

Always.

The soft smile he gave her was a clear sign of his appreciation, before he turned his attention back to what their hands were doing. His fingers traced along her fingers, like he was trying to memorize every line, every dip, as well as the feel -- worn from hard work but no less soft. He felt his face turn a bit pink, before he finally peered up at her again, suddenly feeling very shy.

"A...Airy, I... um..."

She tilted her head to one side, a piece of hair falling out of her braid. Was she being too forward? She didn't think Humans cared all that much about...

No. No, no, no. She wasn't going to play games with herself, trying to interpret.

"What?" she asked instead, a neutral question, curious and a little uncertain.

Luke's mouth worked a few times, before he pulled himself back, settling on a small smile and a faint blush.

"Nothing," he replied at first, before he let out a sheepish noise. "But... I guess... thanks. For trusting me."

Ariadne shook her head. She knew there was something else he wanted to say. It didn't require listening to his pulse or trying to catch his scent.

She'd watched enough people to know.

"I do trust you," she said. Including to say...whatever it was.

That soft expression was back on his face, the one that both showed his gratitude and kindness at once. His gaze drifted down to their hands again, his fingers still absently moving, though now like they were following a road they had traveled many times before. It was… nice, to be invited to know someone like this. It made him feel relaxed, like he really didn’t have to worry about war or teaching or anything of the like, and… just be Luke.

He closed his eyes, letting out a faint breath as he leaded back in his seat, releasing the tensions from the last few days (and the last few minutes) into the Force, before he finally looked up to her again.

“Would you like another story?” he asked.

"Always," she replied at once.

She sensed there was something going on in that mind of his, but Ariadne--for all of her time on the outside, looking in--was no expert in the way that Humans thought. Especially these Jedi, with their rules that made no sense to her, try though she might to understand.

And she was always trying.

Still. Luke knew her weakness. And it was enough to let her set aside her thoughts. For the moment, anyway. "A good one, of course."

He reached out to her again, slipping his hands gently around hers, and started talking; starting to tell the story he had read of in Ben's journal, about how Yoda had ended up helping out a planet of sentient rock people, and how it had led to him finishing what he couldn't. From there he went on to talk about how they captured a Star Destroyer with a minimal crew in order to run a planetary blockade, and the stormtroopers that tried to route them.

It was at least over an hour before he finally stopped, chuckling faintly as he dipped his head in embarrassment.

"...you know, it's been ages since I've talked this much, and never this much about things I've done."

The time felt like it was flying. Flying on a ship in the stars. Or something like that. Ariadne wasn't good with metaphors. She just wanted him to keep going, to keep telling her about everything he'd done. Not knowing his world, she couldn't say for sure if it was impressive. It certainly sounded that way.

And noble too, which was also important.

She smiled when he laughed, her skin tingling, aware of the touch of his skin against hers. "You've do so many things! Been so many places. I could listen to it...kind of forever."

Luke chuckled softly.

"I'll run out of stories eventually, you know, no matter how much I enjoy sharing," he said, offering her a quick, teasing wink, before finally letting go of her hands. "But right now, I should head to a place to sleep. It's getting late."

She blinked in surprise. "A place to sleep?" What did that mean? "Do you...not have a home?" Okay, maybe that wasn't a good word to use. "I mean...house."

Some people weren't ready to consider Trench home.

Just because she was...

"Not one just for myself."

Luke shrugged slightly, like he wasn't bothered by it.

"It's fine; I'm used to drifting around, so this works well for me," he admitted. "Some habits are hard to break."

Huh. She kind of hated that for him. There was something to be said for having...a place to return. A space of your own. With your own things and your own memories and thoughts.

Had Deerington spoiled her in that respect?

She'd shared a room with Aunt Lysia back in Valeria. Not wholly her own, but it was a space and protected place. And then she'd started living on her own and she...well. She adored her little apartment.

"Where do you go, then? What sort of places?"

Luke shrugged slightly again.

"Well, I usually stay at Maul's place, since it's so large. I crash with Usagi and Blue occasionally as well."

The relationships among the Jedi and Sith continued to amaze her. And yet, Luke was such a kind, sweet soul. Having him around might be good for Maul. Savage too. As long as they didn't...

Well, Ariadne didn't think they would...

No, a sneak attack wasn't exactly their way.

"Well, if you ever need a place, you know you're welcome here." Never mind the fact that she only had one room. And one bed.

Edited (I have a problem. It's called editing.) 2022-03-14 00:58 (UTC)

Luke paused at that, feeling a warmth creeping up in his face. Well, that was...

Well.

He dipped his head slightly, trying and failing to hide his blush. What, no, he totally wasn't thinking about the fact they would probably share the bed, that was ridiculous.

"I'll keep that in mind," he mumbled.

She caught the blush. It was unexpected, and it was a moment before realized the source.

Oh.

Her cheeks got a little lavender. "I'm sorry, that sounded..."

Forward. It sounded forward. The sort of thing one of the courtier girls might say, batting their eyes and flashing coquettish smiles.

Ariadne didn't have that in her. Sometimes, she wished she did.

He held his hands up quickly, shaking his head rapidly.

"No, no; I know you didn't," he replied. "It's my own fault my brain went there."

Welp, his face was a brilliant shade of red now. He let out an embarrassed noise, trying very hard to turn away and hide it, but even his ears were red, and the blush was creeping through his hair and along his scalp, visible through his hair.

"U-um... I-I should go."

"You don't...have to."

But he did. She was pretty sure he felt that way. And from the look on his face, she supposed she ought to feel embarrassed. Maybe even a little bit ashamed.

She wasn't, but she lowered her eyes all the same.

"Thank you. For your stories today."

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