deercountry | (no subject)

Why does there need to be an opposition? There are ways to help without searching for conflict.

[ but that can be hard to find in wartime. obi-wan knows he struggled with it. at luke's suggestion, obi-wan hesitates, though it's directly inwardly. ]

I think it should be. He's still delicate, trying to put it all together. But I'm sure he'd welcome seeing it.

[ Luke raised an eyebrow at him, as if to say, "Do you realize how I grew up?" But he already knew the answer to that: Obi-Wan may have had an idea, but he didn't know. His expression smoothed out almost immediately, instead offering a faint smile. ]

I'll be careful. I promise.

[ obi-wan squeezes luke's shoulder. ]

Of that, I have no doubt.

[ Luke smiled softly, just barely resisting the urge to give Ben a hug. He felt like they both needed it, after everything, but he wasn't sure how it would be received. Instead he reached up to the hand on his shoulder, wrapping his own around it and giving it a squeeze. ]

Before I do... are you okay? I mean... honestly, Ben.

[ obi-wan runs his fingers down his beard for a moment. ]

More or less. I am tired and I am concerned about Anakin right now. But I also have hope, so I will hold onto that.

[ Luke stared at him for a long moment, like he was trying to be absolutely certain that he was telling the truth, before he offered him a small smile. He reached out, giving his upper arm a squeeze. ]

Things will get better. I promise.

[ obi-wan smiles warmly. ]

Of course they will.

[ Luke nodded at that, giving his arm another squeeze, before he peered into the house. He let out a deep breath, before shuffling his way inside, tentatively reaching out to his father. ]

[Anakin has good and bad days. On the good days he gets out of bed and trails behind Obi-Wan as he goes about his day. On bad days he might lie in all day instead. Today is neither a good or bad day. He's sitting out the back in the zen garden where he hasn't moved since he first sat down this morning to meditate. He isn't meditating, instead staring blankly at the backyard.

The rustle of movement and doors opening has him cock his head in their direction even as he retreats further away from their warm presence in the Force.]

You shouldn't have come.

[ Luke paused at the edges of the garden, not surprised by the warning sent his way. It really seemed some habits died hard with his father; stubborn no matter what. Leia definitely took after him. ]

[ Instead of invading the garden he stopped, tilting his head slightly. ]

Am I not allowed to check up on my own father?

But should you?

[He didn't raise Luke and from what he's heard, he's done nothing but make his son's life as difficult as possible. He was essentially a stranger. Shared blood meant nothing without the effort put into maintaining bonds.]

You'd be better off doing anything else.

[ Luke let out a breath. ]

Father, you've made my life since leaving the farm absolutely terrible. You stalked me through the galaxy once you knew who I was, and you threatened me and my friends and everything I knew and loved.

[ He finally approached then, dropping down into a meditative position next to his father. ]

But... despite all that, and despite how long it took me to pin it down, I could sense how much pain you were in. I could feel the good in you, faint and flickering, but the Emperor couldn't drive that goodness away from you fully.

[He doesn't move away when Luke sits with him. He's selfish enough to grab for whatever he can get from his son even though he knows it would be better to stay away.]

You can't deny that your life would have been better if I was never in it. Whatever goodness you think there is doesn't change that.

[ Luke studied him for a long moment, a faint, wry smile coming to his face. He definitely did take after his father in terms of looks. His hair was darker, and his eyes seemed to be a darker shade of blue as well -- and the irony of his darker appearance was far from being lost to him, thank you very much -- but the resemblance between the two of them was bordering on uncanny. ]

[ He shrugged his shoulders after a moment, glancing away as his tone became almost flippant. ]

True. If you hadn't come stalking after me the moment you found out I was your son, I would have a lot more of my friends still alive, and none of them would have been tortured -- by you personally, in some cases. Oh, and I would still have my hand.

[ He lifted his right hand, absently wiggling his fingers, before he turned back to Anakin, his expression softening. ]

...but you could never kill me. And when it came to the point where I was sure to die, you did the right thing. You could do the right thing, because the Emperor could never drive your good heart away from you, no matter what he did.

[ He reached for him then with his left hand, letting his real hand squeeze his father's real hand. ]

You are a good person, father. I feel it. I know it.

[Anakin stares at Luke with wide eyes. If that was meant to be reassuring it's done the opposite. It's galling to hear that the bar is that he didn't kill his son when he could have. Apparently he's even responsible for Luke missing a hand! He was the worst of the worst, he didn't deserve any shred of kindness.

Luke's hand on his snaps him back to the here and now. Tears well up and he just starts sobbing. If he's trying to say something, it's incomprehensible.

Sorry Luke, your dad is a cry baby.]

[ Luke didn't even question it, or even try to tell him that he shouldn't cry or that he should accept the fact that his fate was set in stone. Instead he just reached for him, pulling him into a tight hug, as if he were trying to squeeze into him all the hope he held in his heart. He rubbed at his back as he let him cry himself out, humming softly and rocking him back and forth as he felt was needed. ]

[Anakin has had a lot of experience in crying since his arrival in the dream world and later here. This still feels different yet again. Instead of from someone he looks up to, he's getting comforted by someone he should be comforting instead. It still doesn't stop him from clinging onto Luke, so desperate he is for comfort.

It's a long while before he subsides into the occasional sniffle. He doesn't think it helped, he only feels drained now. Whoever said letting it out would help had never been in Anakin's position before. He rubs at red-rimmed eyes, but is otherwise content to remain silent for a little longer.]

[ Luke was content to continue to hold him, just as he knew he would be doing back home had his father lived, just as he did with Leia at the times when the memories of Alderaan and the weight of the war got too much (especially in that time when Han was trapped in carbonite). He didn’t let go of him until it felt like his father was ready to move, yet he was still sure to stay close, rubbing at his back, before reaching into one of the packs on his belt. ]

I think someone’s been wanting to be reunited with you for awhile.

[ He pulled out Anakin’s kyber crystal then, the crystal glimmering faintly as he held it out to his father, as if it were saying hello. ]

[He stares at his crystal in disbelief. It still sings to him, a song meant only for him. He'd forsaken it and yet it still called out to him. As he reaches out with a shaky hand, the difference between this and the other crystal is night and day. Where the bled crystal had cried out against him, this embraces him warmly.]

You kept it.

Of course I did.

[ He reached over, placing his hand over his so that Anakin’s was placed gently over his crystal. ]

Ben— Obi-Wan… he gave me your lightsaber just before I left Tatooine. Anytime I held it, I always thought I felt a little bit of you with me, guiding me. That feeling was always in this crystal, because it is so uniquely yours.

[ A small, sheepish smile came to his face. ]

Part of me hoped that every new thing I learned, you were with me. That you knew everything I was doing through your crystal, and you were proud of me the more I grew. I think… in a way, you were.

[ He let go then, leaving Anakin to hold his crystal on his own. ]