Deer Country Mod (
reddosmod) wrote in
deercountry2021-09-08 06:20 pm
Entry tags:
- *event,
- abby anderson: c,
- albert wesker: ref,
- albus dumbledore: catharine,
- amos burton: trace,
- anakin skywalker: michele,
- anduin llane wrynn: jack,
- ange ushiromiya: jelle,
- anna amarande: celene,
- ariadne: wizera,
- arthur: adri,
- atsushi nakajima: berri,
- bella swan: cee,
- castiel (au): frog,
- charlie kelly: ashlee,
- childe: bean,
- clarisse la rue: lor,
- darth maul: shade,
- dean winchester (au): cat,
- delilah dirk: c,
- diarmuid: ashlee,
- diluc ragnvindr: samuel,
- eames (au): frank,
- eurydice: floral,
- faolan: teresa,
- fern: pan,
- flynn fairwind: teresa,
- flynn scifo: jordan,
- goro akechi: kei,
- hunk garrett: lexie,
- huntress: catharine,
- jezebel disraeli : catharine,
- john constantine: dmitri,
- kd6-3.7: moz,
- korra: c,
- kyle broflovski: emma,
- lance: charley,
- lev: ru,
- levi ackerman: carmine,
- loki laufeyson: lauren,
- luca: robin,
- lucille sharpe: clari,
- luna lovegood: cheryl,
- luz noceda: pedro,
- lysithea: wighty,
- makoto kino: mesi,
- manabu yuuki: elle,
- melius senyan: red,
- michael: lu,
- mike wheeler: giz,
- minako aino: fay,
- nancy wheeler: clari,
- neopolitan: latroma,
- obi-wan kenobi: timmy,
- orpheus: qv,
- oz vessalius: berri,
- peter graham: jhey,
- peter parker: ashlee,
- qrow branwen: batty,
- raleigh becket: andi,
- reaper: vette,
- rei hino: ax,
- richie tozier: effy,
- ruby rose: josh,
- sam winchester (au): ashlee,
- samatoki aohitsugi: carmine,
- savage opress: vette,
- scorpia: gore,
- soldier blue: elle,
- stefan salvatore: trace,
- takashi "shiro" shirogane: red,
- the emperor: rona,
- varian: tf,
- vira-lorr: latroma,
- vyng vang zoombah: jansen,
- wanda maximoff: jade,
- wei wuxian: tohma,
- will byers: cee,
- willow rosenberg: lucy,
- winter schnee: mesi,
- wu: mads,
- yuri lowell: mads,
- zari tarazi: lauren
All men must die, but first he must live.
SEPTEMBER 2021 EVENT
IMAGE DESCRIPTORS IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE
Prompt One
[Image One: Woman holding skull in bag. ]
[Image Two: Plants sprouting out of earth.]
Prompt Two
[Image One: Woman rocking back and forth in dark.]
[Image Two: Woman rowing down river with corpses on stakes on horizon.]
Prompt Three
[Image One: Beef cake man breaking arrows off of shield with a sword.]
[Image Two: Beefy man slamming axe into troll-like creature, spraying blood.]
GROWING PAINS
RIVER OF REGRET
BLOODSPORT
CODINGPrompt One
[Image One: Woman holding skull in bag. ]
[Image Two: Plants sprouting out of earth.]
Prompt Two
[Image One: Woman rocking back and forth in dark.]
[Image Two: Woman rowing down river with corpses on stakes on horizon.]
Prompt Three
[Image One: Beef cake man breaking arrows off of shield with a sword.]
[Image Two: Beefy man slamming axe into troll-like creature, spraying blood.]
WHEN: September
WHERE: Everywhere
CONTENT WARNINGS: Minor blood ritual.
WHERE: Everywhere
CONTENT WARNINGS: Minor blood ritual.
September, for many in Trench, is considered a month of personal sacrifice. It is the month of self-actualization and promise. To grow your future, you must first be willing to sacrifice your past. You cannot walk forwards while walking backward. All throughout Trench, natives can be seen in yards and on plots of land digging small holes and planting a variety of items. Some plant seeds, some drop in a ring, others bury small parts of a body. But the ritual is simple: bury something that represents your past and seal it with a promise for your future.
You can write yourself a note or cut off a lock of your own hair. The ways in which people do this are limitless since it's a largely personal experience. Find a small patch of soil and dig yourself a shallow hole. Bury the item inside, say goodbye to who you used to be, and cover the item up with dirt. Once you are done, you must shed at least one drop of blood onto the sacrifice. It must be your own blood willingly given. Once the blood hits the soil, a small flower will miraculously grow out of the earth within seconds.
A single, powerless flower, but this flower will be completely immortal. You can either keep it on the patch of land or dig it up and bring it home. The flower will be a representation of your progress in Trench: if its petals wilt, you are lingering too much in the past. If it is in full bloom and vibrant, you're on the right path to a better future. If the flower starts to rot, you're heading down a dangerous path.
The flower may not be able to sway you one way or another, but it may serve as a valuable reminder of the kind of life you wish to lead. Some people abandon the flowers entirely and never bother with them. After all, there are no real consequences if you let the flower rot. If a character is dropped, their flower will fleck away like dust. Many believe that the flowers are made of the same stuff omens are made of.
You can dig up other people's flowers and watch their progress (make sure to get player permission) instead. After all, not everyone will care enough about their own flowers to really observe them closely. The flowers can come in any species or size, even fictional flowers, but they will only be replicas. Meaning if your character's flower is typically used for healing, there will be no healing properties in this replica. The flowers cannot be destroyed.
Many natives in Trench will repeat this ritual a few times every couple of years since the ritual is for letting go of the past. After all, the promises you make to yourself now won't be the same promises you make to yourself ten years from now. People change and so too will their flowers. What the characters bury is largely open to interpretation.
You can write yourself a note or cut off a lock of your own hair. The ways in which people do this are limitless since it's a largely personal experience. Find a small patch of soil and dig yourself a shallow hole. Bury the item inside, say goodbye to who you used to be, and cover the item up with dirt. Once you are done, you must shed at least one drop of blood onto the sacrifice. It must be your own blood willingly given. Once the blood hits the soil, a small flower will miraculously grow out of the earth within seconds.
A single, powerless flower, but this flower will be completely immortal. You can either keep it on the patch of land or dig it up and bring it home. The flower will be a representation of your progress in Trench: if its petals wilt, you are lingering too much in the past. If it is in full bloom and vibrant, you're on the right path to a better future. If the flower starts to rot, you're heading down a dangerous path.
The flower may not be able to sway you one way or another, but it may serve as a valuable reminder of the kind of life you wish to lead. Some people abandon the flowers entirely and never bother with them. After all, there are no real consequences if you let the flower rot. If a character is dropped, their flower will fleck away like dust. Many believe that the flowers are made of the same stuff omens are made of.
You can dig up other people's flowers and watch their progress (make sure to get player permission) instead. After all, not everyone will care enough about their own flowers to really observe them closely. The flowers can come in any species or size, even fictional flowers, but they will only be replicas. Meaning if your character's flower is typically used for healing, there will be no healing properties in this replica. The flowers cannot be destroyed.
Many natives in Trench will repeat this ritual a few times every couple of years since the ritual is for letting go of the past. After all, the promises you make to yourself now won't be the same promises you make to yourself ten years from now. People change and so too will their flowers. What the characters bury is largely open to interpretation.
WHEN: September
WHERE: Some obscure location within Gaze
CONTENT WARNINGS: Mangled corpses of loved ones, birds eating corpses, themes of regret.
WHERE: Some obscure location within Gaze
CONTENT WARNINGS: Mangled corpses of loved ones, birds eating corpses, themes of regret.
You will find raven feathers all over Trench. They may drift through the air, lightly touch you, or you might decide to pick one up. The moment you come into physical contact with a feather, a conspiracy of ravens tears through the air and scoops you up into a whirlwind of feathers and caws. It only lasts a few seconds before you're deposited into a canoe drifting along a still river. Another Sleeper is in the boat with you. You pass beneath massive stone walls carved into the likeness of Never Mind and his ravens.
The world is silent around you. There is no rain here. Instead, sunlight pours through breaks in the clouds. Sunlight dapples across the water and golden-red leaves of nearby trees. It's more serene than most places in Trench.
You turn a corner and smell it before you see it. The picturesque summer day is dampened by the stench of rot. Then you come upon them: corpses. Corpses tied up to posts with barbed wire, corpses put through spikes and suspended in the air. Ravens flutter to and fro, picking at strips of meat. It isn't until you're close enough that you realize you recognize the corpses.
They are the corpses of people you have hurt. And that doesn't just mean people you killed or physically harmed. These are the bodies of people you have deep regrets towards: a lover you wronged, a best friend you lied to, an enemy you wish you had forgiven. Not everything is as black and white as murder, after all, and this grisly graveyard of mangled bodies says as much. Sometimes our regrets haunt us like the dead, and it seems like yours have followed you to Trench. You might even see your own body up on a post or the body of your canoe companions.
You have one of two choices: ignore your regret or face it.
Choosing to ignore your regrets doesn't seem to have any ill consequences at first. You pass by the corpses and continue on your river voyage. But the water grows thicker, and you come across the same corpses only in a worse state. The situation gets progressively worse each time you ignore it, and the river gradually becomes a river of blood and gore. The stench becomes insufferable and you will become increasingly corrupt. Some may even turn into beasts right there on the river.
Facing your regrets means talking about them, even mildly, to your canoe companions. You simply need to acknowledge the corpses, acknowledge the slightest truth to your feelings towards those regrets. When everyone in your canoe has acknowledged their regrets, the ravens will come for you once more. You will be brought back to Trench and awaken in the School of Mutter. Those who faced their regrets will discover that they have been gifted a white gold compass. The compass's needle will always point in the direction of the nearest Lamp Friend no matter the chaos going on in the world. But the compass only works once you have calmed down and focused.
QUICK FACTS
1. Each boat can hold up to 4 people. There can be multiple canoes in the same area.
2. If you try to leave the boat, you will drown in the River of Regret.
3. This does not have to encompass every regret someone's had. It can only represent one or two things. The regret should have to do with another individual or one's self. Something like "I regret not going to college" wouldn't necessarily work within the parameters of the prompt.
4. The river can only be accessed by touching a fallen raven feather. Touching a raven feather attached to the bird or a quill does not count.
5. Characters can engage with this prompt as many times as they touch a raven feather.
6. Characters with no regrets will not see corpses, but they will still be able to interact with characters who do have regrets.
The world is silent around you. There is no rain here. Instead, sunlight pours through breaks in the clouds. Sunlight dapples across the water and golden-red leaves of nearby trees. It's more serene than most places in Trench.
You turn a corner and smell it before you see it. The picturesque summer day is dampened by the stench of rot. Then you come upon them: corpses. Corpses tied up to posts with barbed wire, corpses put through spikes and suspended in the air. Ravens flutter to and fro, picking at strips of meat. It isn't until you're close enough that you realize you recognize the corpses.
They are the corpses of people you have hurt. And that doesn't just mean people you killed or physically harmed. These are the bodies of people you have deep regrets towards: a lover you wronged, a best friend you lied to, an enemy you wish you had forgiven. Not everything is as black and white as murder, after all, and this grisly graveyard of mangled bodies says as much. Sometimes our regrets haunt us like the dead, and it seems like yours have followed you to Trench. You might even see your own body up on a post or the body of your canoe companions.
Choosing to ignore your regrets doesn't seem to have any ill consequences at first. You pass by the corpses and continue on your river voyage. But the water grows thicker, and you come across the same corpses only in a worse state. The situation gets progressively worse each time you ignore it, and the river gradually becomes a river of blood and gore. The stench becomes insufferable and you will become increasingly corrupt. Some may even turn into beasts right there on the river.
Facing your regrets means talking about them, even mildly, to your canoe companions. You simply need to acknowledge the corpses, acknowledge the slightest truth to your feelings towards those regrets. When everyone in your canoe has acknowledged their regrets, the ravens will come for you once more. You will be brought back to Trench and awaken in the School of Mutter. Those who faced their regrets will discover that they have been gifted a white gold compass. The compass's needle will always point in the direction of the nearest Lamp Friend no matter the chaos going on in the world. But the compass only works once you have calmed down and focused.
QUICK FACTS
1. Each boat can hold up to 4 people. There can be multiple canoes in the same area.
2. If you try to leave the boat, you will drown in the River of Regret.
3. This does not have to encompass every regret someone's had. It can only represent one or two things. The regret should have to do with another individual or one's self. Something like "I regret not going to college" wouldn't necessarily work within the parameters of the prompt.
4. The river can only be accessed by touching a fallen raven feather. Touching a raven feather attached to the bird or a quill does not count.
5. Characters can engage with this prompt as many times as they touch a raven feather.
6. Characters with no regrets will not see corpses, but they will still be able to interact with characters who do have regrets.
WHEN: During the Blood Moon
WHERE: Everywhere but specifically, The Gate
CONTENT WARNINGS: Violence, fighting, forced aggression/violence, forced fighting.
WHERE: Everywhere but specifically, The Gate
CONTENT WARNINGS: Violence, fighting, forced aggression/violence, forced fighting.
The Blood Moon invokes religious reverence among Trenchies. September and October are the ultimate months of sacrifice to pay tribute to the gods and the blood that rules this world. An energy begins to swell among Trenchies and you keep hearing the same word whispered excitedly around the city: "Bloodsport."
As the Blood Moon floods the streets in red, you begin to feel antsy, like you don't know what to do with yourself. You're not necessarily angry, you just have an abundance of energy. You don't need to be told what it is: your blood is reacting to the moon. The Blood Moon enhances blood powers significantly and you're simply not used to that yet. You don't feel in control of your own power or maybe even your own mind. At least until you exert some power, some force. Slam a door shut or swing a sword, shoot some electricity or spit some poison and you'll feel at peace with yourself. That nervous energy will ease out.
Only to come back twice as strong. It starts to put you in a real fighting mood and you start to realize why the locals call this Bloodsport. Hunting down beasts and monsters might seem like the fun thing to do right now, but the real attraction for Bloodsport takes place at The Gate. You can hear the roaring crowd blocks away. Hundreds of Trenchies have settled in to watch Sleepers duke it out with each other or with locked-up monsters. Maybe join in the fight. At least you know the other Sleepers there want to be there...Right?
Unfortunately not. Those who resist Bloodsport will find themselves passing out more and more frequently. Eventually, they will be taken by Mysterious Forces to The Gate to be pitted against other Sleepers and monsters. Some Sleepers will be forced into a gladiator-style fight that they either must win or die trying. Most fights at the Gate do end in death, but there are some circumstances where someone surrenders. Of course, that never stops their opponent from killing them anyway...Hopefully, you're fighting someone who is still relatively reasonable. Both parties can be resistant to fighting, but they will feel obligated to fight each other. If they don't, monsters will be unleashed into the arena and your situation will get a whole lot worse.
Bloodsport can greatly enhance a Sleeper's ability and many believe it is a gift from the Pthumerian gods. It is generally considered an advantage to Sleepers during the Season of Blood to prepare them and train them to hone their skills for the Season of Bone. Many believe it is wisest to submit to Bloodsport and let yourself get used to the motions of violence in order to survive the remainder of the year.
QUICK FACTS
1. Casual physical training will alleviate Bloodsport feelings. You could get through the month just by jogging around a lot.
2. Characters forced to the Gate will not remember how or when they arrived - they will just wake up and be thrown into the Gate by some shadowy force.
3. Characters who willingly participate in violence/fighting will feel temporary relief from Bloodsport only for the feeling to increase.
4. Effects of Bloodsport last as long as the Blood Moon shines through September and October.
5. You can treat symptoms of Bloodsport with calming techniques such as aromatherapy, meditation, medications, etc. Can be based on what would ICly help calm your character but it should require a lot of it.
6. You can invent the monsters/beasts that are at the Gate. They should be killable creatures and easily captured for the purpose of the Gate.
As the Blood Moon floods the streets in red, you begin to feel antsy, like you don't know what to do with yourself. You're not necessarily angry, you just have an abundance of energy. You don't need to be told what it is: your blood is reacting to the moon. The Blood Moon enhances blood powers significantly and you're simply not used to that yet. You don't feel in control of your own power or maybe even your own mind. At least until you exert some power, some force. Slam a door shut or swing a sword, shoot some electricity or spit some poison and you'll feel at peace with yourself. That nervous energy will ease out.
Only to come back twice as strong. It starts to put you in a real fighting mood and you start to realize why the locals call this Bloodsport. Hunting down beasts and monsters might seem like the fun thing to do right now, but the real attraction for Bloodsport takes place at The Gate. You can hear the roaring crowd blocks away. Hundreds of Trenchies have settled in to watch Sleepers duke it out with each other or with locked-up monsters. Maybe join in the fight. At least you know the other Sleepers there want to be there...Right?
Unfortunately not. Those who resist Bloodsport will find themselves passing out more and more frequently. Eventually, they will be taken by Mysterious Forces to The Gate to be pitted against other Sleepers and monsters. Some Sleepers will be forced into a gladiator-style fight that they either must win or die trying. Most fights at the Gate do end in death, but there are some circumstances where someone surrenders. Of course, that never stops their opponent from killing them anyway...Hopefully, you're fighting someone who is still relatively reasonable. Both parties can be resistant to fighting, but they will feel obligated to fight each other. If they don't, monsters will be unleashed into the arena and your situation will get a whole lot worse.
Bloodsport can greatly enhance a Sleeper's ability and many believe it is a gift from the Pthumerian gods. It is generally considered an advantage to Sleepers during the Season of Blood to prepare them and train them to hone their skills for the Season of Bone. Many believe it is wisest to submit to Bloodsport and let yourself get used to the motions of violence in order to survive the remainder of the year.
QUICK FACTS
1. Casual physical training will alleviate Bloodsport feelings. You could get through the month just by jogging around a lot.
2. Characters forced to the Gate will not remember how or when they arrived - they will just wake up and be thrown into the Gate by some shadowy force.
3. Characters who willingly participate in violence/fighting will feel temporary relief from Bloodsport only for the feeling to increase.
4. Effects of Bloodsport last as long as the Blood Moon shines through September and October.
5. You can treat symptoms of Bloodsport with calming techniques such as aromatherapy, meditation, medications, etc. Can be based on what would ICly help calm your character but it should require a lot of it.
6. You can invent the monsters/beasts that are at the Gate. They should be killable creatures and easily captured for the purpose of the Gate.

no subject
"You know," he says softly, letting his eyes fall shut, "you try pretty hard, too, Varian. You wanted to help your father, and that's, that's really admirable. I'm sorry, that it didn't work. How did you help him, in the end?"
no subject
They've but scraped the surface of his crimes. He takes a moment before continuing. He knows Wu's past- he knows what happened to his aunt, the fear Wu went through when his kingdom was overthrown by her assassination. If anything makes Wu turn away from him for good, it'll be this.
"I needed to get Rapunzel's power, but I knew she wouldn't help me anymore. So I...I distracted them. I made Ruddiger into a monster with this...serum and while he was attacking the guards I kidnapped the queen," the decent, kind queen who'd never done anything to him. "I knew Rapunzel would come for her mother, and when she did, I was waiting for her. I fought off her army with some robots I'd set up outside my lab and captured her and the king. I..."
He hesitates, sucking in a breath.
"I used the amber solution next to her mom, to force her to help me. That was her choice- help me free my father or watch her mother face the same fate. It...it was awful and she was so scared and I did that to her," he threatened to take away a mother she'd not even had a full year. "It didn't work. Her power didn't break the amber. They royal family escaped and I- something in me just snapped."
no subject
It's a lot to take in, and it could strike home. His Auntie was killed, a queen killed on her throne, throwing the country into imbalance. But that wasn't the reason. The Red Lotus had their own agenda. They want to cause chaos, anarchy, to rid the world of rulers and government and the Avatar. It sounds like Varian was just trying to help his father, and he took it too far. He was desperate, he was hurting, he was alone.
Wu understands that more. He understands that, and he doesn't let go of Varian. He holds him tighter, letting out a soft sound.
"But you got him back. Eventually?" That's the important thing here. The important thing is that Varian was okay, his father was okay. He didn't end up hurting Rapunzel or her mother, at least not physically.
He doesn't think he's giving too much space. He just thinks that Varian is his friend, and he's being incredibly brave to tell Wu all of this. Wu finds his hand and squeezes it tight.
no subject
His voice is small, quiet because he knows it's worse still. That Wu is still here and offering him comfort is overwhelming enough. He doesn't deserve this comfort. Wu has every right to hate him and he doesn't. He's scared to continue. To delve deeper into this.
"I...I tried to kill her mom and her best friend, Wu. I tried to kill the queen," he has to continue, he can't ignore it, Wu doesn't deserve a half-truth. "I was angry and I wanted Rapunzel to hurt. So I got into one of my robots and I tried to kill them, to make her hurt. I just... I didn't care about anything or anyone anymore."
He was blind and stupid and scared and he'd lashed out. Arianna and Cass had done nothing to him to deserve that, but he tried to snuff them out anyway. He lets out a slow, uneasy breath.
"They- Rapunzel managed to figure out her connection to the rocks to stop me. No one actually died, and I was sent to prison, where I stayed for a year until... well, until some uh... people fighting against the kingdom helped me break out."
no subject
"I'm not going to be mad at you. It, it sounds like you want me to be, but, Varian... we all make mistakes. And, yeah, that was a big mistake! But you're, you're so young, and it sounds like you had no one there to support you. I can't blame you for something like that, when you were in an impossible position. I do think it's admirable that you did so much to try and save your father, even if you took it too far. And it's clear that you aren't that person anymore."
He lets out a slow breath, looking at Varian. "Are you?"
no subject
And yet here is Wu, steadfastly refusing to treat him like that- seeing logic and reason and having compassion to him about it and something twinges tight in his chest. He feels tears prick at the corners of his eyes- he'd been so afraid that he'd lose Wu over this. It hit so very close to home, and he knows he might lose him yet- but this does wonders to ease some of the tension in his shoulders.
"I'd deserve it," Wu to be mad at him. "It was a terrible mistake and I'm not that person anymore. I- I've been trying so hard not to be. But I still did it."
He never wants to be that again, and aside from Deerington forcing him down that road in July, he's never gone back. Not once. Not willingly. He glances up at Wu, and the worry is still very clear on his features.
"There's...there's a little more," he adds, nervous. "The people I broke out of prison with took over the kingdom, and I helped. I...I helped wipe the king and queens memories and ran the kingdom through them, forcing the people to work in the mines to get the...the minerals I needed to wipe everyone's memories. I thought that was the only way I could fix things."
Because at least then he knew things needed to be fixed, he just couldn't imagine forgiveness would be part of that.
"Rapunzel came back from her trip and I found out the people I was with wanted to raze Corona to the ground with the chemical I'd created. I-" he frowns, looking down again. "I didn't want anyone to get hurt. Wholescale slaughter was a line I couldn't cross anymore. That's- that's the point I changed and helped her stop them and I've been trying to make up for it ever since."
no subject
To think that Varian did that, it is hard. It's hard to think of his friend, who's really still a child, doing that? He wants to pull back, but instead he squeezes Varian's arm tight. He's not going to let go that easily. He forgave Kuvira, didn't he? He forgave her, and she knew what she did was wrong. Varian clearly does, too. He wants forgiveness, wants to be better.
Who would Wu be to deny him that?
"We aren't defined by our pasts." He looks back up at Mako's family, dead and limp in the river. He lets out a breath. "Our pasts are what we learn from. If we let them define us, then we can't grow, we can't learn. That's, that would be a terrible way to live. I didn't do right by my people, either, Varian. I let what you just described? I let that happen to them because I wasn't paying attention. I thought, I thought that someone I trusted would protect my people, and would simply hand the kingdom to me when her work was done. That didn't happen, of course. It didn't happen, and people suffered. People like, like them," he gestures to the bodies with a little shiver.
"They're okay. They are now! But they had to leave their home, their country, because some very awful people believed that organized government was the source of all evil in the world. It's, it's my fault that my country was in such disarray. I trusted the wrong people. It sounds like you did, too. People were hurt, scarred, tormented, because of my inaction. But I can't spend every day feeling like that's the main thing that defines me. I want to define my life by what I can do now, to right those wrongs, and the wrongs of my family. I can do so much more-- or I could, at home-- by looking forward instead of backwards."
He takes a steadying breath and looks back at Varian, offering him a small smile. "You aren't those things. You learned from them, right? Take them forward with you, as lessons for what not to do, for what to do differently. And this time, you'll have the support you need. Okay?"
no subject
But Wu doesn't do that. Wu meets this with understanding, and explaining more of the life he came from, the troubles he's been through. Troubles that really would justify him dropping Varian like a hot potato. Wu was backstabbed and betrayed while he was trying to get used to a role that was foisted on him suddenly, that he had no preparation for. While he was still trying to deal with the death of his aunt. And here he is, explaining all of this and feeling at fault for people taking advantage of him. But maybe he was right. Maybe it was about trusting the wrong people. Andrew sure was the wrong person- preying on him when he was scared and alone and desperate. Mako had said as much to him.
Tears prick at the corners of his eyes as his shoulders sag a little. He doesn't deserve people who are so endlessly good and understanding of his past. He doesn't, he's sure of that. And yet he gets it anyway. He gets people who want him to have a chance to do better, who don't just give up on him immediately.
"I'm- I'm trying anyway. Not...not to be that person anymore? Learning, I-" his voice wavers. "Thank you. I... I don't think I deserve that from you but...thank you. It means. Well, it means everything. I'm really lucky to have you in my life."
He sucks in a breath, it's shuddery, he's still verging on the edge of crying.
"I'm sorry all of that happened to you. You're a really good person. You- you didn't deserve any of that."
no subject
When he opens his eyes again, they aren't in the boat anymore. They're in a... school? Wu gasps, pulling back a little to look around. It doesn't smell anymore, either, and Wu didn't realize quite how bad it was until he can suck in a breath of fresh air. "Oh, wow! Wow, we did it! We're free."
He laughs, pulling Varian up to his feet and hugging him again, this time an emphatic squeeze.
"We did it!" Varian's small, right? Wu swings him around as best as he can. He isn't strong by any means, but he is enthusiastic. "We did it! And you didn't deserve that either, Varian! I can't even imagine what you went through. It's just awful. And it won't happen again, okay? If you need help, if you need support, you have me and Mako and all your friends here, okay?"
no subject
He wasn't expecting to suddenly be out of the boat and in Mutter- he recognises the school, at least, he's been here plenty of times already. He's glad to be away from the smells and sight of the corpses- having to deal with the full weight of his regrets pushing him down. He is, indeed, very small and easily picked up- and he lets out a surprised squeak as Wu does just that.
He's struggling to find much delight in it, even if he's glad to be out of that mess. He feels raw and tired and hurt- he never likes opening up that old wound of his- but having Wu being so goddamn supportive has helped more than he can explain. He returns the second hug, trying for a laugh, but it doesn't sound quite right.
"Th-thanks, Wu. I- I appreciate that. I don't... well I don't plan on ever being like that again," he sucks in a breath, trying to find some calm again. "At least we're out of the boat. Are...are you okay?"
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He feels sure of it. He feels sure of that, and feels something settle in his chest. He can help people, that's what he can do, and it feels good. Not the kind of good like eating a gourmet meal or getting a great massage, but the kind of good that he felt after the evacuation in Republic City, or when people used the safe house in Deerington. It's a new type of good, a deeper type, and it makes him smile, soft and gentle, at Varian.
"I'm sorry, that all of that happened to you. That you had to tell me all of that. That sounded really hard. Thank you, for trusting me with that." He means it, somewhere deep in his chest. He means it, means all of it, because even though it hurt to hear, that Varian did that, that no one supported him, that he was in prison (he's a child!), even with all of that, Varian put that trust in him, in Wu.
That means something.
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"It's... well, it's not okay, but it- it was a while ago now," he raises his shoulders in a shrug. "It doesn't make it hurt any less, but I guess it's less...raw? I don't know. And that's- that's fine too. You deserve to know, you've deserved to know for a while."
Because he trusts Wu an awful lot - he's more than earned the right to know the darker parts of Varian's past.
"...Thank you for being so understanding. I- I wouldn't have blamed you if you never wanted to speak to me again after that."
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Mistakes still hold on, still haunt him, too, but he isn't his mistakes and neither is Varian.
He shudders, shaking out his arms. He sounds a lot more like his usual self: "Well I, for one, could use something sweet after that. Want to go see if anywhere here has smoothies? Boy, that was awful!"
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"Thanks, Wu. That's... that's what I'm trying anyway, and I know for a fact you're doing all you can to help people here- you really do make a difference."
Because that was important to say.
"Hah...you know what, sure. I think I could have a smoothie. Because that really was the worst."
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But, "enough of this! We're here, we're alive, we're moving forward! To smoothies!"