deercountry | the balance of complete and incomplete [open]

Entry tags:

the balance of complete and incomplete [open]

Who: Anna Amarande and you!
What: January event catchall
When: January
Where: The Snake Den and around Trench

Content Warnings: Eye trauma, blood, swearing, artful robot nudity, will add as they come in

a. i will trust the artist molding me [the snake den]

Anna doesn't really need much help right now cutting loose at the Snake Den. Madam G has been on her list of Pthumerians to check out for a while, and even if there had been some kind of reluctance to begin with, now that she's here mingling in a borrowed suit she feels downright comfortable. It's like she's ten years younger, and though her voice is still smoky and she's still missing an eye as far as physical age goes, socially she's just. Free, right now. It's nice.

It's nice enough that, when she's not striking up conversation with other people, she decides to indulge herself in the open mic. Borrowing an electric bass from backstage, she walks up, sits down, plugs in, and grabs the mic. "This is one from back home," she says, "By a band called Silversun Pickups. It's about finding freedom and acceptance and love in the places and with the people that everyone else tells you to stay away from. They'll say that the only way to be who you are is to file yourself off. That you need to hold yourself back to make other people comfortable without ever worrying if you're comfortable." She's talking very passionately for someone who doesn't think of herself as a motivational speaker. With a confident look, she finally leads into the song. "Let's bury that lie, Trench. This is called 'The Pit'."

And she starts playing, and she starts singing. And when she doesn't need to be playing and her hands are free, even she's not really sure how she does it, but she finds a way to channel her androidinous self to modify her own voice—just for a little bit, just to test it out. Just to see what happens, before she snaps back into the final lines of the song. And regardless of how it's received, once she's done, she puts the bass down and gently thanks the crowd. Her heart-simulacrum is pulsing faster than it should be as she gets off the stage, and she waits there in the wings in case she happened to inspire anyone with that performance.

b. the echo of what is and what will be [the shedding ceremony]

This is... not a good month for Anna outside of that, so far. For her time at the Snake Den, yes, she's still resonating with A2, and she's still who she thinks she is. But it never really takes long for her to start shedding her own skin again, and damn her brain but she can't stop fucking picking at it long enough to avoid the transformation.

The first time it happens, Anna emerges in a pure white dress that she's wasting no time in staining red. Her hair is longer, cleaner, and in lieu of a katana she's brandishing a blood-red shortsword in her battles with these beasts at the edge of the city. Taking zero precautions against pollution or corruption, she swings her blade right at the neck and lets the blood spray wash over her. When it stops, she hunches forward and shrieks out a strangely melodic note while the beast falls over dead. Her back straightens, and it's clear even from whatever distance anyone may be watching at that she's no longer entirely who people might know. The flower blossoming from her right eye is a good early warning sign, but you'd better act fast, because her good eye is a blazing red and she's rushing towards her spectator with that bloodblade at the ready.

The second time is much less interesting by comparison, but it's not doing her much good. Because the second time, she's just... a normal 29 year old. Both her eyes are fine, she's fully organic, and she doesn't know how to use a sword. In fact, she's taking her time and walking slowly through the streets of a town that she's starting to get to know better, wondering what her life even is anymore. Her Omni helps her keep connected with back home, sure, but nobody can get in touch with her no matter how hard she tries. And she woke up, for lack of a better word, with this katana that she's got on her back, and the first friendly-looking person she sees, she just asks outright, "Hey, uh. You have any idea why I would have a sword if I don't remember ever actually owning a sword?"

c. i am creation both haunted and holy [wildcard]

((got anything else you want to do? hit me up here or at

roseward!! also: source for the suit image and lyrics for the cover.))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Lance is currently an AU version of himself where he just discovered he's actually a highly advanced android. Many things are the same for him aside from that, and he's figured out he might be in an alternate reality. And who does he know who is at least part Android and also knows a lot about alternate realities?

Of course, he's not sure if he wants to talk about his situation, he just wants to hang out and be around someone he knows wouldn't freak out about it. Maybe he'll never tell a soul, it's just about a sense of security and also needing a distraction. And boy was her speech something that hit him where he lives. He comes over to her when she finishes and grins.

"Sooo, why didn't you tell me you play bass?"

She laughs brightly at the question, or as brightly as she can right now. With no idea anything is different about him at all, Anna just leans against the stage and goes as casual as possible when she answers, "Lot of stuff you don't know about me."

And though she could leave it there, she won't. "Used to be in a band with a couple friends back home, for example. We were called GIANT⚡ROBOT and I played bass. My buddy Eren played drums, and his husband Elliot was violin. We never got to do much playing for, you know, reasons," she brushes past, "But playing bass stuck with me. Now I'm pretty okay at it, even if I only bust it out for open mics like this."

Well, he supposes he hasn't known her long, so it would make sense he doesn't know a lot about her yet. But, "So I played guitar for you the literal moment we met and you didn't think to go 'oh hey I used to be in a super cool band'?"

He squints at her and crosses his arms, "What other mysteries are you hiding? Any more cards you're holding up your sleeve to show off with at the right moment?"

Another laugh, the same tone as the first. Oh, you're killing her, Smalls. Even though she is the Smalls in this situation. Listen, she hasn't seen The Sandlot.

"Listen, maybe I didn't wanna open up just meeting you by talking about how I used to be in this pretty okay band. For all I know it would've put way too much pressure on you." She's smiling with a little bit of teeth, mostly out of one side of her mouth. "But it sounds like you don't have to worry about pressure, huh? So here's another secret that I can give you for free: I've wanted to get back in a band ever since the last one broke up."

Well, that hint couldn't be bigger.

Clearly, that is something that needs to be fixed asap. Lance brightens immensely when she divulges this particular secret. He is so excited that he grabs her shoulders staring at her very intensely.

"Join my band!" A second later, he looks to the side, mentally rewinding a bit, "Uh, well it's technically not my band, and it's super casual and we don't really have a name, so maybe it's not really a band, but… the point is I totally wanna be in a band with you."

Well, the jerk of her shoulders when he clasps them takes her by surprise, but she's not shoving him away, either. In fact, right now, it's just reminding her of the stuff she liked about him when they first met. The enthusiasm is just bouncing back and forth between them, isn't it?

"Hey, that's probably the best place to start with a band around here. You want a bassist and/or someone for backing vocals, I'm your girl." Not that she'd turn down anything else, but she knows her strengths. "Who else is in it?"

Enthusiasm is how he gets through all the suffering and doesn't think about it. The calming vibes of this place and the champagne helps too. And he's trying not to think about how he's able to get drunk when he's not...

Moving on! "Zari started it, mostly I've just been jamming with her, but she lets anyone who wants to play music together come around to her place to rock out. I think she sees it as a way to build a cool social scene, which is pretty awesome."

"Definitely better a cool social scene than a broken one," she says, as a joke that is probably just for her, but Lance has surprised her before. "Don't think I know Zari, but I'd love to jam with you guys. I've been trying arranging stuff just for what I can play, but it's a little thin, you know? I feel like we could definitely do a lot more with more people."

And not to sound too excited or anything, but she adds, "Maybe we make a real full band out of it and play some sold-out shows here. All the hits of the 80s, 90s, and today."

He made quite the lucky first impression because while he knows some obscure things through older family members who like various things like that and other avenues, he does not know all. But he can tell that it was supposed to be… something. A thing he doesn't get. He tilts his head and raises a brow. "A what?"

Is this how Keith feels all the time? No wonder he's got such a short temper. But either way, what's more important is that she wants to jam, he grins. "All right! I bet we could tear the roof off this place. Too bad GIANT⚡ROBOT was the name of your last band because it'd be pretty perfect for us too. Well, you and me, anyway. But uh, you should totally show me some of your arrangements!"

Anna shakes her head. "Don't worry about it." And then explains anyway. "Broken Social Scene is this band from back home. I don't really know them but I know the name. It's a stupid joke, but, like, yeah. Anyway."

With that taken care of she'd love to focus more on the idea of, like, playing her arrangements in a full band? It sounds fucking wild to even consider. "Yeah, yeah, absolutely, dude. I don't have a ton but I have a couple that could use a little more beefing up. Mostly stuff that means a lot to me like this one and, like, this one Decemberists song that I don't think anyone would guess from looking at me?" She shrugs. "I don't know, dude, as long as you're versatile I think we can make a lot work out here. And we can probably find a better band name, too."

Lance blinks, taking in the explanation and then he grins slightly and crosses his arms, "Well, now that you explained it, I think it's a great joke and you totally gotta start sharing all your home bands' music with me so I can get the joke next time."

Look, he's a good social guy all about trying to make people happy and sometimes he's sickeningly nice. Especially if you're a girl, a cool girl like Anna. And with that he'll let the subject drop and is more than happy to talk about a full band and arrangements, "I have some of my own that are kind of personal too, I dunno that I could share them or anything, but I know how important that stuff can be. Like, you wanna get it juuuust right since it's kind of like a piece of yourself. And hey! I've actually heard of the Decemberists, listened to them too." Then he chuckles, "Oh, I'm versatile alright. No need to worry about that. And I dunno what could be better, we're kinda robots and I literally pilot a giant robot… hey, maybe BOTCEPTION? No… kinda lame. Oh! …No, nevermind…"

"Oh, shit yeah, okay, so I'm working on this cover of 'This is Why We Fight', you know, from that one folk album they did?" And her excitement is kind of getting the better of her as she talks, and she maybe lets slip a little more than she should, but it's fine. "Kind of needed the reminder lately, you know? Of the kind of stuff I'm fighting for. But, like, no worries or anything, I'm not going anywhere," she says by way of a sudden burst of deflection; no reason to get too caught up in it, even if she is cheerful about it.

"Anyway, like, we can workshop the name. It'll be good as hell whatever we come up with. Probably a lot of fertile ground with, like, robot, tech-sounding stuff. I'd say Machinae Supremacy but I'm pretty sure that one's taken too."

Well, he may not be an expert in the Decemberists enough to immediately know which song she's talking about, but it's always nice to see someone get excited about their passions. There's a little bemused smile on his face as he watches her go on about her cover that she's writing. And then his head tilts, his brows drawing together slightly when she lets that little something slip.

Well, he's let the robot thing slip, perhaps some subconscious part of his mind (code?) that wants her to know. But also doesn't want to get into it. Maybe it's the same for her, so he doesn't make it a big thing. "Yeah, I think I totally know what you mean. I don't think any of us are going anywhere any time soon anyway, haha."

He awkwardly rubs at the back of his neck and glances down and to the side, "Machinae Supremacy? …Is Machinae even a word?"

"Yeah, I think it's Latin or something?" She shrugs. "Not my language. We'd just call it Maschine in German, and then you'd get a syllable into the 'supremacy' part and everyone would tell you to shut the fuck up." That's clearly supposed to be a joke for her, but if he gets it even a little then she'll be happy with it.

"So how do you feel about that?" she asks, and for a second it's not clear what she means. She fixes him with a curious, if casual, look. "The idea that we're all gonna be stuck here for a while. 'Cause it's taking me a long time to turn around on it, personally."

"Oh. Yeah, I knew that," he flushes, rubbing the side of his neck, because he actually did know that, but sometimes he gets words mixed up and lost. Then he chuckles a little, "Yeah, what's the deal with all the super long angry sounding words in German?"

Not sure if that was the joke she meant, but that is the joke he got out of it. But he's immediately pulled into confusion about her follow up question. Until she clarifies. He looks down, visibly conflicted and unsure. It's a subject they covered when she made that post about funerals, but not to this extent.

"I dunno. I was trying not to think about it, and some recent stuff I learned kinda changed things too. But I dunno if that's even me, or if I'm just a shed and I'll stop existing when I shed again…"

Oh boy, that's a whole existential crisis that his processors are struggling to deal with and the look on his face reflects that overwhelmed wide-eyed, subtly panicked look.

Edited 2022-02-20 01:42 (UTC)

Anna nods, like she's trying to understand. Like she remembers someone else having a bit of a crisis like that recently. Like it might very well have been her. She's not sure how to reconcile it, because she does remember the time she spent as a version of her who had never encountered anything like what brought her here in the first place, but it's... god. It's hard to reconcile everything. That's fine.

"I don't know if you'll stop existing or just kind of get folded back into the 'main' one, whatever that ends up meaning. Depends on a lot of things, you know? But, like. I don't think you're going to go anywhere permanently. I don't think this place would do that."

She's guessing. She is guessing and has no way to know, same as when she claimed she was certain about alternate universes.

"God, wish I could just jump back to goofing on German after that," she says with a sigh. It's not like the mood is soured or anything, it's just hard to jump backwards now.

Lance thinks that this place absolutely would do that, and he agrees on the German jokes. He shifts his stance a bit awkwardly and then takes a chance, reaches out for her hand and squeezes, offering a bit of a smile and there's a daring look in his eyes.

"Wanna take a ride on my sentient robot lion space ship and just talk about songs?" Ever since he's shed, he's been able to connect with the Red Lion like he hasn't for a long time. Not that he currently remembers that the main version of himself was having trouble. he lets go of her hand and awkwardly rubs at the side of his neck, "I mean, I figure whatever the truth is, maybe we should just have fun with the time we have right now, y'know? I don't know if we're permanently stuck here or not or if I'm gonna stop existing, but for now in this moment… maybe it's just not worth giving a shit about when there's so much good stuff we can do."

See, she could decide to stick here, but she's done her song. And she'd be an idiot to pass up on this kind of experience. That's the kind of thing that changed her life in the first place—just hanging out with someone and doing something brand new with them, and seeing what the experience brings. So she straightens her back, cracks her neck by turning it just a little sharply, and looks at him with the promise of a new adventure on her face.

"I've heard a lot about your sentient robot lion spaceship, but never actually seen it. Let's do it." And she pauses, and she can't just leave it at that when the opening is that huge. Besides, maybe making that kind of joke will help ease the tension. "But if that's a euphemism, I'm gonna fold it up into a new shape."

He pumps his fists, "Yesss! You're gonna love her, I promise. It feels like forever since I've flown with her too."

Perhaps part of his motive to jump right into that along with the fact that she reminds him a lot of an old friend he misses and would share stuff like this with. He's just instantly comfortable diving into spontaneous adventure rides. He starts towards the exit, very excited about this because it just feels like everything stops being a problem when he's flying, and he likes sharing that, "I get all my best inspiration for songs when I'm flying, and-"

He blinks, the euphemism comment hitting him belatedly, then he flushes and awkward laughs and waves his hand dismissively, "Nah, I can tell you're not into that. This is a hundred percent sincere robot lion ride in the sky. Though… she's kind of smaller than usual, so don't mention it, I think she's kind of sensitive about it."

Edited 2022-02-24 04:45 (UTC)

Anna snickers playfully, glad that the joke actually hit, but she's thrilled to hear this level of excitement either way. "I get the same way," she says, following him and knowing that her bass is going to be safe here. She can trust Madam G. "First time I flew on my own, like, not in a plane or anything like that, it opened my eyes. The world looked different for the first time."

She could recount that story beat for beat if she wanted to. Right now, it's right on the tip of her tongue, and she doesn't even feel embarrassed thinking about it. "A friend of mine got a ring that gave her the power of flight. She let me try it on, and I floated forty feet in the air. It was the first thing that taught me that the world was bigger than everything I thought I knew." She's smiling as she recounts it. Kara had better be doing okay without her. "Changed the way I lived."

He raises his brows when he hears that story and he can sense the elation at the memory coming from her. He grins and pushes the doors to The Red open, and lo and behold there's Red, the lion flying in at his mental summons.

"If you think floating was fun, wait until you're riding at super speeds on a super advanced war machine!" He chuckles as he pats the metal cat's nose as she lands. She's about the size of a large horse so he has to reach up, "It sounds like an amazing memory, though."

Okay. This rules. She cannot deny the objective fact that this super, super rules. Anna's okay enough with animals, but robot animals who are mindlinked to their pilots is something new. She extends her hand up carefully, curling her fingers and putting the back of it close to the lion's nose so it can get her scent. Do robots worry about that? She's not sure. Anna knows she'd think it would be a little weird if someone did that to her, but that's no different from human-to-human contact, really.

"I can't wait. I know I'm made of pretty advanced tech, but this is wilder than most things I've seen. We never had anything like this back home." She looks from the robot to Lance and fixes him with a challenge of a smirk. "And me without my leather jacket and biker helmet." That she totally doesn't actually own. "Let's see how far she takes us, huh? Could probably punch straight across to the other side of the world."

The Red Lion doesn't seem at all bothered by her hand being there, in fact, she doesn't seem to really understand the gesture at all. Lance nods when Anna talks about how advanced she is.

"She's even got her own life force, and I guess she's what reminds me I'm real and alive y'know? Because I wouldn't be able to connect with her if I didn't have one too," then he grins, "She's also the fastest lion in Voltron, she can reach the edge of the solar system in a few minutes, but uh… we'd have to be inside her cockpit to survive that. But it also means we can totally stop by your place real quick if you wanna pick up our jacket and helmet."

With that, he jumps up onto the lion's back and holds out a hand to help her up behind him if she needs it.

Anna laughs. "Well, the helmet was a joke, but I'm good either way." She follows Lance up, taking his hand and pulling herself up on the lion's back. "The edge of the solar system, huh? So does that still count Pluto where you're from, or did you guys demote it too?"

It's a dumb question that matters very little, but she's still kind of interested in the answer. She rests her hand on the lion's body, tries to feel that life energy thrumming through it. It's close to her own situation, right? Connected to something alive and mechanical, and the connection proves that Lance is alive, too. It's not a hard parallel to draw.

"We don't have to head that far either way. We could just take her for a spin around the wilderness and see if any of the beasts out there are looking bad enough to need hunting, or something."

"Oh we totally demoted it… but then we had to promote it again after we got some satellites out there and saw how pretty she actually was." He's joking, but also completely serious. Pluto's got some sexy geological activity going on, and that threw everyone's thoughts on it out of whack for a while.

Once she's on, the Lion starts to lift up into the sky. He'd love to take her around the sky at high speeds, but being out on her back like this, they gotta play it safe.

"Oh yeah, we can totally do that. Buuut, we can also get some inspiration for some songs for our awesome future band by doing a moon flyby, maybe say hi to Cynthia if she's around. Though, I guess hunting's pretty song inspiring too…"

Both? Both. Both is good.

the balance of complete and incomplete [open]

A (mid-late jan)

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