[003] And the walls kept tumbling down

[themuseabandonsyou]

Who: Orpheus (themuseabandonsyou)
What: January Catch-all
When: January
Where: Crenshaw, The Red, one of Trench's parks

Warnings: burns, discussion of organ theft, forced honesty effects, memory loss/loss of sense of self, disorientation, possibly more as marked in thread headers



I. Gray clouds roll over the hills bringing darkness from above ( cw: burns, discussion of organ theft ) ( closed to Eurydice )

Orpheus comes stumbling in the front door a little over an hour after he ran out. It had been abrupt and frantic when he went, snatching up one of his spare sets of guitar strings and wordlessly sprinting down the street towards a plume of smoke in the distance - whether Eurydice had been there to see him go, he'd been too distracted to tell, too focused on the problem at hand. But she's here, now, as he returns, smelling of burning cloth and worse.

One of his pant legs is seared off up to the knee, still smoldering slightly, and the exposed skin of his calf is - not looking good. He was still able to put weight on it long enough to get home, which is promising, but as he makes it through the threshhold he collapses sideways, leaning heavily against the wall and sliding down it awkwardly into a crumpled heap on the floor.

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it." He repeats it to himself quietly, over and over again. His shoulders shake as he puts his face in his hands, breathing hard between the pain and apparent distress.

II. But if you close your eyes ( cw: forced honesty effects, possible further warnings in thread headers ) ( OTA )

It's not the first time Orpheus has seen the gigantic gemstone octopus that decorates the Red's entrance - he spent a great deal of time there on his first day, even, trying to figure out how to find Eurydice, and even after that he passes by it regularly on his way to find work in Cellar Door. But there is a certain sense of awe that comes with actually walking through the betentacled doors, having been invited in. Something about it feels like a massive weight has been lifted from his shoulders, and he blinks in wide-eyed surprise at the luxury of the club that lies within. It's like nothing he's ever seen before, save for in photos, and he stands there for a long moment just taking it all in until someone jostles him out of the way.

II-A. Watching
Despite Orpheus being, well, himself, it actually doesn't occur to him to get on stage at first. He watches the other acts with enthusiastic attention, whistling and clapping for his friends and strangers alike, but whenever the call goes up for the next performer, he looks... torn. Fidgeting with the strap of the guitar on his back, he frowns, glancing around him, then back at the stage with almost an almost hungry look. He wants to go. He doesn't want to go. Even feeling more relaxed here than he has in days, all the ostentation around him, the high-class of the setting and his own feeling out of place in it combine into the sort of pressure to do well that he's rarely felt before. Usually all he does is play for friends, but this? Even if the audience is mostly other Sleepers, this feels different.
II-B. Playing
Sooner or later, though, someone convinces Orpheus to take the stage, to swallow his reservations and just go, and ultimately he's grateful for it. He strides up to the spotlight and slides his guitar around in front of him, taking a deep breath, and begins to play a lively, rousing song, the crackling glow of campfire-light cast all around him as he sings.

"It's only for need to pay the bills
That a man goes to work in the mine, in the mill
For what does he trade the sunshine?
For a couple of nickels and dimes
But up on top a man can breathe
When he's livin' it, livin' it up
With friends and family to meet his needs
Livin' it up on top
Won't make anyone a millionaire
We're livin' it, livin' it up
But what we have, we have to share

Give me a lyre and a campfire
And an open field at night
Give me the sky that you can't buy
Or sell at any price
And I'll give you a song for free
'Cause that's how life ought to be

So that's how I'm livin' it
Livin' it, livin' it up
Livin' it up on top"
II-C. Mingling
And when he comes back down, it's like all his worries have washed away. He practically bounds off the stage, face flushed and grinning, making a beeline for the first person he recognizes or maybe just whoever catches his eye.

"How was that?" he asks, earnest, eyes shining. "I've been - I couldn't fix things with my music before, so I was worried I was losing it, but that - it sounded all right, didn't it?"

There's a beat, then his brow furrows slightly, a look of confusion on his face. What did he just say?

III. Does it almost feel nothing's changed at all ( cw: memory loss/loss of sense of self, disorientation ) ( OTA )

The man standing out in the middle of one of Trench's few, scattered parks looks a lot like Orpheus. He's older, though - it's hard to tell how much, but clearly well past his 20s, and looking even older than he probably is for the stress lines on his face, speckled with old, faded little scars from stray sparks kicked up while welding. He seems exhausted, too, like every movement he's forcing himself not to just collapse on the spot. None of Orpheus's puppy-like exuberance shines through in this man, bundled against the cold like he's even less accustomed to it than usual in layers upon layers and just silently putting one foot in front of the other, except -

The sun starts to peek through the clouds, a lone shaft of sunlight falling on one of the trees, and he raises his head from where he'd been staring at the ground to look - and his eyes grow wide with childlike wonder. He doesn't move towards it. He doesn't dare breathe, for fear that any slight change could take this sight away from him. A tear runs down his face all the same. It's been so long.

Comments

[themuseabandonsyou]

Again, it takes Orpheus a second to catch on that she's joking, looking confused and a bit concerned at the self-effacing comment for a moment before it hits him. He grins, laughing a little.

"Maybe," he says. "I think a lot of people here could use that, and I'm sure you'd be a good teacher." And that's not a joke, he does genuinely think that. But even he can see how something like this might not necessarily pan out.

"I think the best we can do is just keep looking after the people we care about. So, you're already off to a good start!" He beams at her, bright as anything and a far cry from how nervous and self-conscious he'd been before.

[entreats]

For a moment Ange does wonder if that compliment is in there. It feels like it, but on the other hand, Ange sure isn't the type to go looking for compliments in statements where there aren't any.. though thankfully Orpheus' smile confirms to her that it was indeed a compliment.

It makes her smile right back at him. It feels like a relief, just knowing she was able to make him feel a little bit better in the moment. She knows that feeling of inadequacy will inevitably return in a place like this, when something might happen to someone close to you at any time without you being able to do much about it, but.. well, even managing to get rid of it for a moment feels important.

"If you ever feel like you need someone to talk to, just send me a message, alright?"

Ange might not always feel up to talking in general, but she will make an exception for friends. Especially when they need it.

"I don't doubt you have plenty of others you could send messages too as well." Since Orpheus is so social in her eyes. "But just know that my line is always open for you too."

Because Ange is not above thinking that the two of them run just as much of a risk to have something like that happen to them, if they don't seek out help when they need it.

[themuseabandonsyou]

The feelings of inadequacy will probably come back, it's true. This isn't the sort of thing that gets fixed in the course of a single conversation, not when it's been reinforced time and time and time again, in Trench and in Deerington and back where he came from. But he does feel much better for having had the chance to air out his concerns and have them soundly refuted by someone he trusts, and he'll be able to remember this conversation going forward when he starts feeling low again. At least, ideally.

"Of course!" he says, brightly. "And the same goes for you, okay? I know you've got your other friends, and Ruby to look after you, but it's always good to have options!"

Both for reasons of more people meaning more chances to catch someone who's around to listen when you need it, and that he knows sometimes there are things that could be hard to talk about with one friend but easier with another. Having a variety of people from different walks of life to talk to can make a lot of things more manageable.

[entreats]

"I'll remember that," Ange says. And she seems to mean it, since she's actually openly smiling at Orpheus as the words flow out of her mouth. If she ever ends up needing the help, and she's not too far gone yet, well.. she will call him for sure.

Though she glances around after she says it, and then shakes her head.

"Speaking of Ruby, I guess I should look for her now." Make sure she isn't doing anything ridiculous. "Thanks for the performance, Orpheus. And for the talk."

[themuseabandonsyou]

"Of course!" Orpheus beams. "I should probably go see how Eurydice's doing, too. I'll talk to you again soon, hopefully! Enjoy the rest of your evening."

And with that, he'll see her off before getting up and disappearing into the crowd himself.