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deercountry2022-01-08 12:48 am
reddosmod) wrote in deercountry2022-01-08 12:48 am
Entry tags:
- *event,
- ahiru: timmy,
- aki hayakawa: lex,
- albert wesker: ref,
- ange ushiromiya: jelle,
- charlie kelly: ashlee,
- childe: bean,
- darth maul: shade,
- eurydice: floral,
- fakir: orlando,
- goro akechi: kei,
- izuku "deku" midoriya: tea,
- jason kolchek: kacey,
- kainé: ava,
- kd6-3.7: moz,
- keith: sailor g,
- lance: charley,
- laurel lance: mary,
- luca: robin,
- lucille sharpe: clari,
- lucius artorius castus: orlando,
- lumine: trix,
- luz noceda: pedro,
- manabu yuuki: elle,
- michael: lu,
- nehan: ray,
- orpheus: qv,
- palamedes sextus: laura,
- paul atreides: beth,
- penny polendina: kei,
- peter graham: jhey,
- rena ryugu: eko,
- rose da silva: jhey,
- satoko hojo: kari,
- savage opress: vette,
- scorpia: gore,
- soldier blue: elle,
- stiles stilinski: charley,
- the operator: sue,
- tinya wazzo: argustar,
- usagi tsukino: jax,
- varian: tf,
- wanda maximoff: jade
Gain the weight of you then lose it
JANUARY 2022 EVENT
IMAGE DESCRIPTORS IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE
Prompt One
[Image One: Woman in an elaborate blue dress with high collar staring at camera while people dance in background.]
[Image Two: Woman in pink dress touching chest and smiling at camera while people dance in background.]
Prompt Two
[Image One: Explicit gif of snake shedding its skin and a new viperlike snake coming out of the old skin.]
[Image Two: Gif of eyes gazing at camera and right eye turning yellow.]
Prompt Three
[Image One: Image of rock snake with fire glowing in its mouth.]
[Image Two: Gif of a snake made entirely out of flames hissing.]
SNAKE DEN
THE SHEDDING CEREMONY
Unsnakely
CODINGPrompt One
[Image One: Woman in an elaborate blue dress with high collar staring at camera while people dance in background.]
[Image Two: Woman in pink dress touching chest and smiling at camera while people dance in background.]
Prompt Two
[Image One: Explicit gif of snake shedding its skin and a new viperlike snake coming out of the old skin.]
[Image Two: Gif of eyes gazing at camera and right eye turning yellow.]
Prompt Three
[Image One: Image of rock snake with fire glowing in its mouth.]
[Image Two: Gif of a snake made entirely out of flames hissing.]
WHEN: Evenings throughout January
WHERE: The Red, Cellar Door
CONTENT WARNINGS: Alcohol/Drugs, possible NSFW scenarios, forced honesty, mood altering substances.
WHERE: The Red, Cellar Door
CONTENT WARNINGS: Alcohol/Drugs, possible NSFW scenarios, forced honesty, mood altering substances.
Around Trench, Sleepers will find a gold-edged flyer pinned to most doors, lamps, and posted around stores and throughout the market. Some may even find the flyer pinned to their front door:
MADAM GENEROSITY INVITES YOU TO THE SNAKE DEN
A female Trenchie named Dorothea seems to be directing the acts. People can perform multiple times. Talents performed can include music, comedy, dance routines, or little skits. After the Talent Show concludes, a Fashion Show will be put on, and everyone is encouraged to join. You can get your hair and make-up done elaborately backstage and find eccentric outfits to try on if you're not so happy with the one you showed up in.
Going to the Snake Den at this time will cause incredible stress relief. Even those who are typically shy or introverted will find themselves soothed at the Snake Den. Giant pillows have been thrown about so people can puddle in together and snuggle up. Private rooms have been created out of silks for some private conversations or interactions.
There must be something in the drinks or the snacks going around because it becomes easy to become a much more outgoing version of yourself at the party. It may increase friendliness or touchiness and relax people's usual reservations. Who knows? It might encourage you to go up on stage and show off a bit or talk to that handsome stranger who has been eying you the whole night. Regular intoxication from alcohol/drugs is possible as well which means some people might not need the additional encouragement.
Regular dancing occurs after the Fashion Shows with various musicians performing on stage to fill the night up with plenty of mood melodies. As the evening prolongs, the lights dim and things become quiet and soothing. Since paleblood magic is exceptionally strong this month with honesty, attendants of the party may find themselves being more open and honest about themselves. Hopefully, you don't confess anything too vulnerable about yourself...
FAQ:
1. Characters with mental abilities may be able to resist the honesty sway if they consciously realize it is happening.
2. Any talent can be performed on the stage.
3. The flyer is magically enchanted so that people who touch it will feel unusually excited to go to the Snake Den.
Hello darling and dearest Sleepers! Do not let the cold dampen your spirit or weaken your hope. Do not allow our differences to divide us; do not let the frigid drive you to isolation; do not hurt your soul by forgetting one another. They say snakes cannot thrive in the cold, yet here I am, defying it, thriving despite it. You can too. We must persist. We shall persist. Not with violence and bloodshed, not with pollution and corruption, but with unity! With compassion and fun.The Red has been elaborately decorated for the Snake Den spectacle. Enormous golden statues of snakes have been placed throughout. Golden lights glitter above. Servers carry about golden flutes of champagne, soda, and sparkling water. You can order other drinks at the bar. While the invite has gone out to Sleepers, there are some regular Trenchies who have come to show their support. To perform in the Talent Show portion, one simply needs to go backstage to prepare with the rest.
I invite you all to join me at The Red every odd evening of January! Welcome to the Snake Den! A little Talent Show I throw occasionally to remind Sleepers of their profound potential for greatness and awe! Come be flashy on stage or to support your friends. After the Talent Show is our famed Fashion Show. Do you have eccentric outfits you would like to show off? Now is truly your time to shine!
The evening will be filled with plenty of food and drink for all. We shall dance, we shall show off, we shall persist and defy corruption together. Let my lovely Night Walkers shine and keep you company for the evening. Find some new friends, have an illicit affair, or just come so you don't have to be alone for a night. You are all welcome...And don't worry, I've enchanted the Red so that none of your powers can cause any damage while inside the building. Feel free to really make a light show with your fire! It won't hurt anyone.
I so look forward to seeing all of you there.
With Love,
Madam Generosity
A female Trenchie named Dorothea seems to be directing the acts. People can perform multiple times. Talents performed can include music, comedy, dance routines, or little skits. After the Talent Show concludes, a Fashion Show will be put on, and everyone is encouraged to join. You can get your hair and make-up done elaborately backstage and find eccentric outfits to try on if you're not so happy with the one you showed up in.
Going to the Snake Den at this time will cause incredible stress relief. Even those who are typically shy or introverted will find themselves soothed at the Snake Den. Giant pillows have been thrown about so people can puddle in together and snuggle up. Private rooms have been created out of silks for some private conversations or interactions.
There must be something in the drinks or the snacks going around because it becomes easy to become a much more outgoing version of yourself at the party. It may increase friendliness or touchiness and relax people's usual reservations. Who knows? It might encourage you to go up on stage and show off a bit or talk to that handsome stranger who has been eying you the whole night. Regular intoxication from alcohol/drugs is possible as well which means some people might not need the additional encouragement.
Regular dancing occurs after the Fashion Shows with various musicians performing on stage to fill the night up with plenty of mood melodies. As the evening prolongs, the lights dim and things become quiet and soothing. Since paleblood magic is exceptionally strong this month with honesty, attendants of the party may find themselves being more open and honest about themselves. Hopefully, you don't confess anything too vulnerable about yourself...
FAQ:
1. Characters with mental abilities may be able to resist the honesty sway if they consciously realize it is happening.
2. Any talent can be performed on the stage.
3. The flyer is magically enchanted so that people who touch it will feel unusually excited to go to the Snake Den.
WHEN: Begins in January - Effects may be permanent. Players choose when the effects wear off.
WHERE: Everywhere
CONTENT WARNINGS: Forced modification of body, possible themes of body dysmorphia, shedding/peeling skin, burning/eating dead skin, alternate versions of characters, possible genderswapping, possible alteration of personality/memories.
WHERE: Everywhere
CONTENT WARNINGS: Forced modification of body, possible themes of body dysmorphia, shedding/peeling skin, burning/eating dead skin, alternate versions of characters, possible genderswapping, possible alteration of personality/memories.
[A passage from Rituals and Reality; Chapter 2: The Shedding Ceremony. Found exclusively in Gaze:]
"Worshippers of Madam Generosity believed that the shedding of snakeskin was symbolic to the shedding of an old life and the acceptance of a new life. The skin left behind was a reminder of past trials and tribulations, and the skin you walk away with is evidence of all that you have learned and experienced. In ancient times, Sleepers would ritualistically select one of their own to sacrifice to Madam Generosity. Eventually, Sleepers would come to learn that Madam Generosity did not appreciate blood sacrifices. Due to her gentle nature, she encouraged Sleepers to pay tribute to her in other ways.
Thus came the Shedding Ceremony. Sleepers would rub away chapped skin and set it afire in a bowl. They would reflect on lives left behind and the new life they had been given in Trench. Over time, this created a powerful magical experience that persisted beyond the original ceremony. The Shedding Ceremony is both a ritual and an enchantment.
As January begins, Sleepers may find that their skin has become dry and brittle. The generous application of lotions and oils may soothe the skin, but neglected skin can begin to peel off. Although it is a painless experience, it can be rather gross to look at and a bit itchy. Then one day, you simply fall asleep and when you awaken, you are an entirely different version of yourself. You will find a nearly perfect replica of your old self in a shed skin nearby. Your new body may be stronger, faster, more powerful. Old scars may be healed, lost limps replaced...Or you might be an entirely new gender. Some have even experienced becoming a different species. Some awaken as an older or younger variation of themselves while others find that they have become an alternate version of themselves.
These effects have been known to last for a few days up to months at a time. In some scenarios, the effects have become permanent. Some believe it to be a curse while others believe it is a gift. It may happen multiple times and take a few sheds to return to your original body. It is believed that ingesting your old skin or burning it alleviates the changes and brings you back to your original body faster. Generous application of lotion and oils can prevent the Shedding Ceremony altogether for some - or at the very least, slow it down."
FAQ
1. Characters can avoid this prompt altogether via the application of lotion.
2. If you decide to permanently change your character in a big way (ie; changing their species/gender/age) then we do ask that you update your character on the taken page to reflect that they are now an Alternate Version of a character. This would open up the original character to be applicable to new players.
3. This can change blood types for those interested in trying on a new blood type. You can either temporarily change a blood type or permanently. If you permanently change a blood type, let us know on the Blood Type page and update your information on the taken page.
4. You can play out the transformation as explicitly or non-explicitly as you want. Maybe characters see the changes happening under their peeling skin or just wake up in their new body. The peeling does not need to be any more graphic than what you would typically see on dry skin.
5. You can alter a character's gender, species, age, blood type, or switch to a general alternate version of a character (ie; Coffee Shop AU, an AU of your character but with different powers, an AU of your character if they came from a different canon or timeline.) Please have fun with this and explore the possibilities for as long as you like!
"Worshippers of Madam Generosity believed that the shedding of snakeskin was symbolic to the shedding of an old life and the acceptance of a new life. The skin left behind was a reminder of past trials and tribulations, and the skin you walk away with is evidence of all that you have learned and experienced. In ancient times, Sleepers would ritualistically select one of their own to sacrifice to Madam Generosity. Eventually, Sleepers would come to learn that Madam Generosity did not appreciate blood sacrifices. Due to her gentle nature, she encouraged Sleepers to pay tribute to her in other ways.
Thus came the Shedding Ceremony. Sleepers would rub away chapped skin and set it afire in a bowl. They would reflect on lives left behind and the new life they had been given in Trench. Over time, this created a powerful magical experience that persisted beyond the original ceremony. The Shedding Ceremony is both a ritual and an enchantment.
As January begins, Sleepers may find that their skin has become dry and brittle. The generous application of lotions and oils may soothe the skin, but neglected skin can begin to peel off. Although it is a painless experience, it can be rather gross to look at and a bit itchy. Then one day, you simply fall asleep and when you awaken, you are an entirely different version of yourself. You will find a nearly perfect replica of your old self in a shed skin nearby. Your new body may be stronger, faster, more powerful. Old scars may be healed, lost limps replaced...Or you might be an entirely new gender. Some have even experienced becoming a different species. Some awaken as an older or younger variation of themselves while others find that they have become an alternate version of themselves.
These effects have been known to last for a few days up to months at a time. In some scenarios, the effects have become permanent. Some believe it to be a curse while others believe it is a gift. It may happen multiple times and take a few sheds to return to your original body. It is believed that ingesting your old skin or burning it alleviates the changes and brings you back to your original body faster. Generous application of lotion and oils can prevent the Shedding Ceremony altogether for some - or at the very least, slow it down."
FAQ
1. Characters can avoid this prompt altogether via the application of lotion.
2. If you decide to permanently change your character in a big way (ie; changing their species/gender/age) then we do ask that you update your character on the taken page to reflect that they are now an Alternate Version of a character. This would open up the original character to be applicable to new players.
3. This can change blood types for those interested in trying on a new blood type. You can either temporarily change a blood type or permanently. If you permanently change a blood type, let us know on the Blood Type page and update your information on the taken page.
4. You can play out the transformation as explicitly or non-explicitly as you want. Maybe characters see the changes happening under their peeling skin or just wake up in their new body. The peeling does not need to be any more graphic than what you would typically see on dry skin.
5. You can alter a character's gender, species, age, blood type, or switch to a general alternate version of a character (ie; Coffee Shop AU, an AU of your character but with different powers, an AU of your character if they came from a different canon or timeline.) Please have fun with this and explore the possibilities for as long as you like!
WHEN: All of Bone Season
WHERE: Anywhere outside
CONTENT WARNINGS: Possible injuries or death from burns/fire.
WHERE: Anywhere outside
CONTENT WARNINGS: Possible injuries or death from burns/fire.
[A journal entry from the Wayward Watcher that can be found in the Archaic Archives reads:]
"Do not trust the naked snake trails of January. They exist to trick you into a sense of Madam Generosity's comfort. The Good Pthumerian leaves snow tracks in her wake, but the Unsnakely leaves melted trails of snow. This creature has spent centuries cloaking itself to rope in those who devotedly follow Madam Generosity. The kind people of Trench look to snakes as a trustworthy, compassionate symbol filled with good intention.
There are many ways to anticipate the Unsnakely's presence. Besides its melted trails (that eventually turn to ice in the cold), you may notice pockets of comfortable heat. While many believe greenery is a good sign, do not be fooled by the melted patches of grass you find. These are not symbols of an early spring. They are symbols of incoming destruction.
The Unsnakely is not of blood or soul; it is a blood curse of the earth, a product of Blood Pollution. It's a creature made out of rock, with no pulse, no soul, no mind. Molten lava pours through its body. It moves in and out of the earth without disturbing the surface, transforming from rock into small beasts or a snake the size of your home. It looks to spill blood to freshen its own magic and its choice of weapon is its size and the fire it breathes. A furious Unsnakely will light up in flames and can bring great destruction to its surroundings. People have lost their homes to the Unsnakely and of course, people have lost their lives.
The Unsnakely, no matter the size it takes, is as fast and lethal as a typical snake. It cannot truly die, as it is a curse of the earth, but it can be physically destroyed by immense blunt strength or coldblood abilities whether fire or ice. Typical ice abilities will not work against the snake - they must come from a coldblood source. Enchanted coldblood items will be effective against the Unsnakely.
The Unsnakely can spit fire like venom and boil the air around it. It can be difficult to get physically close enough to land a blow due to the suffocatingly hot temperature rolling off its body. It traditionally hunts in the streets and in the woods, by the beach and among the cliffs. Once someone has slain the beast, it returns to the earth where it rebuilds itself over a period of 2-3 days. It primarily hunts during Bone Season, preferring to use the cloak of Madam Generosity to its advantage.
Since this is not a traditional snake, it has no desire to "eat" anyone. It will simply roast you alive - which is arguably worse for some. Its fire burns hotter and brighter than regular fire, and it is a slow, agonizing death that has caused absolute madness in some. People have claimed to see strange visions in the smoke that pours off of the Unsnakely, causing distortion in battle. Do not inhale too much of the Unsnakely's smoke as it will cause intense vertigo. Remember: this is a creature of deception.
Lastly, it would be beneficial to know that the Unsnakely cannot hear or see. It responds to the vibration around it. Some who stay still may get the upper hand, but the creature can feel the vibrations of your heartbeat if your pulse is unusually elevated. Good luck, fellow Hunters. Treat burns by the Unsnakely with vileblood. I know it sounds mad, but the vileblood seems to attack whatever cursed heat comes with burns from the Unsnakely.
Take care of yourself,
- The Wayward Watcher"
FAQ
1. Characters who can manipulate earth can contort/stop/fight against the Unsnakely's natural body. It will take great control to fully control or dismantle the body.
2. Coldbloods with fire abilities can similarly control the fire of the Unsnakely with great control.
"Do not trust the naked snake trails of January. They exist to trick you into a sense of Madam Generosity's comfort. The Good Pthumerian leaves snow tracks in her wake, but the Unsnakely leaves melted trails of snow. This creature has spent centuries cloaking itself to rope in those who devotedly follow Madam Generosity. The kind people of Trench look to snakes as a trustworthy, compassionate symbol filled with good intention.
There are many ways to anticipate the Unsnakely's presence. Besides its melted trails (that eventually turn to ice in the cold), you may notice pockets of comfortable heat. While many believe greenery is a good sign, do not be fooled by the melted patches of grass you find. These are not symbols of an early spring. They are symbols of incoming destruction.
The Unsnakely is not of blood or soul; it is a blood curse of the earth, a product of Blood Pollution. It's a creature made out of rock, with no pulse, no soul, no mind. Molten lava pours through its body. It moves in and out of the earth without disturbing the surface, transforming from rock into small beasts or a snake the size of your home. It looks to spill blood to freshen its own magic and its choice of weapon is its size and the fire it breathes. A furious Unsnakely will light up in flames and can bring great destruction to its surroundings. People have lost their homes to the Unsnakely and of course, people have lost their lives.
The Unsnakely, no matter the size it takes, is as fast and lethal as a typical snake. It cannot truly die, as it is a curse of the earth, but it can be physically destroyed by immense blunt strength or coldblood abilities whether fire or ice. Typical ice abilities will not work against the snake - they must come from a coldblood source. Enchanted coldblood items will be effective against the Unsnakely.
The Unsnakely can spit fire like venom and boil the air around it. It can be difficult to get physically close enough to land a blow due to the suffocatingly hot temperature rolling off its body. It traditionally hunts in the streets and in the woods, by the beach and among the cliffs. Once someone has slain the beast, it returns to the earth where it rebuilds itself over a period of 2-3 days. It primarily hunts during Bone Season, preferring to use the cloak of Madam Generosity to its advantage.
Since this is not a traditional snake, it has no desire to "eat" anyone. It will simply roast you alive - which is arguably worse for some. Its fire burns hotter and brighter than regular fire, and it is a slow, agonizing death that has caused absolute madness in some. People have claimed to see strange visions in the smoke that pours off of the Unsnakely, causing distortion in battle. Do not inhale too much of the Unsnakely's smoke as it will cause intense vertigo. Remember: this is a creature of deception.
Lastly, it would be beneficial to know that the Unsnakely cannot hear or see. It responds to the vibration around it. Some who stay still may get the upper hand, but the creature can feel the vibrations of your heartbeat if your pulse is unusually elevated. Good luck, fellow Hunters. Treat burns by the Unsnakely with vileblood. I know it sounds mad, but the vileblood seems to attack whatever cursed heat comes with burns from the Unsnakely.
Take care of yourself,
- The Wayward Watcher"
FAQ
1. Characters who can manipulate earth can contort/stop/fight against the Unsnakely's natural body. It will take great control to fully control or dismantle the body.
2. Coldbloods with fire abilities can similarly control the fire of the Unsnakely with great control.
no subject
Wu! Dude, this party is amazing! And you're looking pretty sharp yourself! [Ryan pulls back a little, so he can give Wu a platonically flirty once-over.] It miiight be sacrilege but you rock this even better than Lil Nas X!
[Without missing a single beat, Ryan flags down the nearest server for two champagne flutes, one for each of them.]
Cheers! [He holds his glass out expectantly for a clink!]
no subject
He gasps, looking at Ryan with wide eyes ]
That can't be true! I mean, I know I look amazing, but he's Lil Nas, Ryan! He can pull off anything!
[ But booze is a good distraction and Wu takes the flute with an even brighter grin and clinks it against Ryan's ]
Empty your cup! [ Ryan can't understand what he's saying, the words coming out in his native Earth Kingdom tongue, and whatever magic lets them understand each other can't find an English equivalent, but the intent is clear there, and Wu laughs, taking a long sip of champagne, which makes him shiver and shimmy as he drinks ] Are you ready for one of the best nights of our lives?!
no subject
[Ryan can't actually understand it, not really, but it sounds so close to something else he knows that he just happily yells "Kanpai!" right back (even though he already said cheers) and takes a long swig from his own glass. Everything about the energy in this room feels incredible - he hasn't even had that many drinks yet, and everything still feels light and relaxed.]
I have literally never been more ready in my entire life. This party is sick! It's even better than the Black Parade, and that was all party all the time for a whole month!
[Which, as it turned out, was a little too much party. At least Madame Generosity is putting calculated rest days into her party schedule.]
no subject
This is much more my kind of party! The drinks, the music, the company. [ He sighs, leaning on Ryan. How much flirting is too much for a platonic friendship? ] I could stay here forever.
no subject
You said it, man. I've been to a lot of parties, and none of them even hold a candle to this one.
[It's a familiar anecdote, the kind that Ryan lays down as a piece of a much larger puzzle and then offers no elaboration on. Instead, he leans in with a mischievous look.]
Wanna grab a seat and gossip about people for a while?
[C'mon, Wu. You know you do.]
no subject
As they walk, that does ping in his mind. A lot of parties. It sounds like how Wu used to talk, talking up all the parties he went to in Ba Sing Se, trying to make his life sound far more interesting than it was. ]
So, all those parties, huh, buddy? Must've been kind of a bust!
no subject
It seems to surprise Ryan that Wu would latch onto it - but then again, maybe he tipped too far and is hoping for some interesting stories.]
Hm? Oh, yeah. They were a total bust. I--
[He wants to brush it off, act like it's no big deal and like he basically saved the parties by being the coolest person there. But, he can't seem to make the sentiment come out of his mouth. What does come out after that stumble is something...a little more true. He shrugs.]
--I've had some of my worst gigs at bad parties. It's like night and day between that and this one.
no subject
It's alright, buddy. You had to have those bad gigs to have great ones, now! I know the parties I used to go to in Ba Sing Se were total busts. Not fun at all! I just hung out by the food and hoped that anyone would talk to me!
[ Oh, boy. He didn't mean to say that last part. Why did he say that last part? He takes a long sip of champagne, not looking at Ryan, then laughs thinly ]
Total busts!
no subject
Pfft. Seriously? Who wouldn't want to talk to you? You're one of the most fun people to talk to I know!
[The upside of compulsive honesty is the fact that it means every compliment that comes out of Ryan's mouth is as sincere as it could possibly be. He can't picture Wu not being the life of the party.]
no subject
[ This is something he's said before, without any influence of someone's blood. He's okay with this story. He used to be worse. Didn't all of them? And Ryan's compliment makes him smile again, big and bright and easy as he steers them toward a giant, squishy couch that's calling his name.
He drops down on it with a sigh, and waves for Ryan to join him, curling his big-booted feet up under himself ]
And I wasn't around nearly as fun people.
[ He nudges Ryan in the ribs ]
no subject
Ha! I guess the stars aligned just right then! I definitely wasn't that fun a year ago either. Buuuut now we can both be fun together at this amazing party!
[It all worked out! Ryan finishes his champagne glass with that thought and carefully balances it on the back of the couch until a server comes around again.]
no subject
[ Obviously! He relaxes back, letting the strange things they both said roll off him. He's here to have fun, to relax with his friend, not to spill truths about who he used to be. He isn't that guy anymore! He's a different guy now, a better one, but almost any estimation. ]
I bet you were always fun, buddy. Wasn't that your tour? I know it wasn't great, but, you were doing what you wanted to do, right? Living your dream!
no subject
But there's something in the air tonight. Ryan's...quiet for a moment. There's an urge to spill how he really feels about it, and he resists it at first. It feels like trying to hold his breath, until he can't any longer.]
...Well, uh. I was trying to? Most of it wasn't exactly the dream. [He twiddles his fingers, for dramatics.] A lot of the time I got hired as basically background noise? Like...
[Ugh, is he really going to tell this story? It's such a bummer and he doesn't want to, but he also does kind of want to for reasons he can't fully explain.]
...Once I got hired to just sit in the corner of some uni party and play a 15 minute set because their DJ was going to be late. They only paid me like, $15 and a case of beer but I had so few gigs at the time that I had to take it. ...I don't think a single person even looked at me the whole time.
[And really, that was the part that hurt the most. Not only was he not making a living, but he wasn't playing the kinds of shows he wanted to play. It didn't matter whether he was the one there or not.]
So I took the money and the beer and instead of hanging out at this party where no one even cared if I was there or not, I went back to my van. Crawled in the back. Drank all the beer, passed out on the mattress. Woke up with a brutal hangover. It...wasn't the greatest night of my life.
no subject
Wu reaches over to take his hand, squeezing tight ]
Well-- they clearly had no taste, if they weren't going to pay attention to you! You're amazing, Ryan. Really, really good at what you do.
[ And he really believes it, honestly compelled but also clear in the emotions he's showing to Ryan through the touch ]
You know, I dreamed of leaving Ba Sing Se forever, since I was old enough to know that the Upper Ring wasn't everything. But when I got to Republic City--it wasn't under the best circumstances, grant you--I thought it would be this amazing, wonderful experience, and I would meet all these people and get to live it up and make loads of friends. My dream was to do that, I think. To get out there, to meet people, to see the world.
But you know what I ended up doing? I ended up going to more parties where people only wanted to talk to me because I was a prince, and barely at that. I made one friend, and he was paid to work for me. I... I guess I'm saying that I get it. Even if that's awful, that those guys didn't appreciate you, I do. I don't think, I don't think that we were going to make in, on your tour, in Republic City-- it wasn't the time, or the circumstance.
People always ask me if I'd rather go home, and I can honestly say no. I wouldn't rather go home. I would rather be here, because I have a job I love and a boyfriend I adore and friends like you who actually like me, even if sometimes I still get scared that you and Mako and Chuck and Manabu might all decide that I'm not worth hanging out with anymore.
[ Well that sure was really nice and good until that last part. As soon as it's out of his mouth, his eyes go wide and he snaps his mouth shut, looking away from Ryan. He can't exactly take it back, the magic won't let him, but he wishes he could. He spends a lot of time trying to stifle those thoughts, to let himself enjoy what he has instead of second guessing all of it ]
no subject
[Wu will be able to feel that even though he's trying to spin it into a self-deprecating joke, it's something that actually happened to him. That university party wasn't a one-off incident. This happened over and over and over again.
The touch and the ability to really feel that Wu means what he's saying helps immensely though. He squeezes Wu's hand back, as if he can send some of that comfort right back to him. He gets it too. He's been to so many parties thinking things would be different this time, and then they never are.
It isn't so much that he wants to hide it, but it's not the time to mention it - not after Wu slides that last detail in. Wu might look away, but Ryan doesn't. He seems heartbroken on Wu's behalf.]
Wu...
[He thinks for a second about what might be helpful to Wu specifically right now, and decides to just lean until he's resting right against him. Sitting together on the couch has now turned into cuddling on the couch, and it's necessary.]
Wu, you are always worth hanging out with. You're honestly my favorite person in this entire city. Even if Min turns up, he's going to have to share that title with you whether he likes it or not.
[There's literally no reason he wouldn't, at least that Ryan can think of - but it's a bold declaration for someone who has been missing their other half for months and months.]
I worry about that too though. ...A lot. People always get sick of me eventually, or they figure out I'm garbage and bail. It's kind of weird when someone doesn't do that, actually? In a good way, I mean. It's a good weird.
[He's just babbling now, because he knows he said something uncomfortable and is trying so hard to backpedal away from it, even though it's too late.]
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He snorts a little humorless laugh ]
Well, maybe old ladies aren't the right audience for your music. You know, not everyone likes Lil Nas X, but he's amazing. I don't think old ladies are his audience either.
[ It always comes back to Lil Nas, with him. ]
Why would they think you're garbage? Ryan, you're really wonderful. I've never had a friend like you. I didn't know I could! And now, now-- [ He doesn't even know how to say it, which is unusual for him, and he squeezes Ryan's hand tighter. ] You get me. And I think I get you, too, and that... it means a lot to me.
You don't think Min would be jealous? You know, Mako was jealous of your for like, a week.
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[The laugh that comes with that is more genuine, and for a second it feels more like a normal conversation. He's cozy here with a friend and that's all he really wanted.
Even with the honesty compulsion, he hesitates. There's an answer to Wu's question, an instant one, but Ryan forces himself to hold back as much as he can. Unfortunately, the nature of his powers make it impossible to hide - especially not when he's making as much physical contact as he is. In the months since he discovered his powers he's gotten better at not releasing his thoughts into the world constantly, but sometimes when a strong enough thought isn't said, it happens anyway. Wu will hear something in that familiar not-quite-out-loud tone, but something's different this time. This time, the end fades into heavy static:
"Because I̢͘͠͡ ̴̕a̷̧̢̡m̨͞ ̶̢́͘g̸͟à̧̛̕͘r̶̀́͠b̶͝҉à̶͟g̶̵̶e̛.̴҉̷̢̀ ̷"
He can't try to literally shake the thought away with how they're sitting, so he squeezes Wu's hand back and lets it ground him just a little.]
I mean...he might be a little jealous? Neither of us have really had good friends other than each other before. But, I dunno. It feels different. And I think he'd figure out it feels different, like Mako did. I've never met anyone else who's so much like me, you know?
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Wu could gloss over it, he could let that stay as private as possible with their powers like this, but the words are on the tip of his tongue and his ability to hold them back is at a bare minimum right now ]
You're not garbage.
[ He says it firmly, with his own belief strong in his voice and his thoughts. He turns to meet Ryan's eyes with a little frown ]
You're not, Ryan! You, you have so much to give. You're talented, you work hard to be talented, you're really fun to be around, you're kind, and, yes, maybe you're impulsive and don't really respect yourself, but that doesn't mean you're garbage!
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The static fuzz in his brain continues, though less coherently this time. No words can really be made out - it's just an auditory feeling of u̶̕͘͜n͘͢͡ȩ̶͜͠͞a̶͘͝҉s͝͠è̢͜͞ in his mind. A lot of the things he wants to say are stuck in his throat, because they aren't strictly true and for some reason it's hard to look at Wu and lie to him right now. Almost everything he can think of to deflect with isn't right.
Eventually, he settles on something he knows will go poorly, just to say something. He takes his hand out of Wu's to set it on his knee, as if Wu is the one who needs to be comforted here.]
Wu...it's really not that big a deal, dude.
[It just is what it is. The Earth is round, the sky is blue, and Ryan is sure he's a terrible person.]
I-- [He forces a laugh, but none of it's very funny at all.] --I don't even know why I'm saying half of this. I usually don't! And I definitely shouldn't have. All of this is just going to worry you for no reason.
[Sounds like the kind of thing a garbage person would do if you ask him!]
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[ This feels like brunch all over again, but at least he feels like he might actually get somewhere this time. He shifts closer, watching Ryan intently. He wants to get to the heart of this-- or at least to try, because Ryan is hiding this, hiding a lot behind his happy face and his smiles and his attitude, but Wu has seen the glimpses, seen the troubled core behind there, and even if he doesn't feel exactly the same, he knows what that's right. ]
Why do you think you're garbage?
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There's an unusual emotion in Ryan that Wu will be able to feel. A spike of fear.]
I don't really know how to answer that. I'm just...I'm not a good person? I don't know if I've ever been a good person, and it's like I said - people always figure it out, sooner or later. Even Min felt that way at one point, and even though we made up I still freak out about whether he'll wake up one morning and go "oh my god what am I doing?" and bail when he remembers I'm...
[He trails off, but the meaning's understood. Ryan's catching on though, and he pulls his hand away from Wu's knee to try and keep his memories from spilling into Wu. It's the only thing he can do to shield himself right now. He can endure the memory alone.]
...I even worry about it with you and Shiro sometimes? I try not to, but. You know. ...People get sick of me and my bullshit after a while. [He shrugs, to try and make it seem more reasonable, or like it doesn't bother him.] I'd probably get sick of me too.
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He doesn't touch Ryan, because he gets it. Thoughts and feelings are slipping so easily between them right now, and some things are harder to share, even when that sharing is forced. He doesn't want to force his best friend to share things he isn't willing to share, not when, now, he's explained why. It hurt, before, when Ryan held things back from him without that explanation, without telling him why. He worried similar things, that he wasn't good enough, that he was getting on Ryan's last nerve, that Ryan wouldn't and couldn't trust him because he's Wu, who would trust him with anything if they had a choice?
He lets out a breath, bracing his elbows on his thighs, because this is pretty heavy for the middle of a party. But at least it's loud, and no one is really looking at them. It's like they're alone back here, in their own room of noise. ]
What do you think a good person is? I, I'm probably not one, either. I'm a selfish person. A picky person. A needy person.
[ It's all the things that pick at the back of his mind, the things that he tells himself he can get better at, but he never does. He's still selfish, he's still picky, he still needs so much more than he gives.
He looks up at Ryan, though, with a little smile, because he is being selfish right now, turning it back to himself ]
If I ever get sick of you, I've probably been swapped with someone else, like that time Mako thought he was a detective from New York, and you'll have to find a way to get the real me back.
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But then again, that happens to Ryan a lot when he hypes up parties. He never learns.]
Dude. You're such a good person. I look at you and I'm always like "Woah! He's like me if I didn't suck so bad!"
[For some reason that's the truth that makes tears prick at the corners of his eyes, but he refuses to let it happen now. He just rubs at his eyes and takes a deep breath to reel it in.]
A good person is...someone who remembers to think about others. Someone who...I dunno, when people look at them they don't go "Woah, is he okay?" or "Wow, wouldn't want to wind up like that guy!". They don't just do whatever they want all the time without thinking; they remember actions have consequences before they fuck everything up for everyone, themselves included. And...they don't have to act like everything's going great, because it is going great, for real. I guess. They...they don't waste people's time making them worry about stuff that can't be fixed, because then that just makes everyone miserable.
[It's not a question he's ever considered before, really. "Good" and "garbage" have always been intuitive terms for him. Things he is not and things he is.
The anecdote gets him though, and he sputters out a small laugh - but most importantly, a real one. He meets that small smile with one of his own.]
Heh. ...I'll have to try and remember that.
[And given the strong pull of honesty between them, he actually means it.]
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I think some of what you're saying is right. A good person thinks about other people, a good person weighs the needs of others against their own. A good person, they don't do things that they intend to hurt other people, or animals. But, what other people think about them? I don't, I don't know if what other people think matters, for being a good person.
You know, you don't have to pretend like everything is going to be great, around me.
[ In fact, he doesn't really want Ryan to. He's been around enough people who were just trying to placate him, to make him comfortable, without being real with him, to last him a lifetime ]
And, for the record? I don't think I'm you if you didn't suck, because you don't suck and I can't play guitar.
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A good person weighs the needs of others against their own. And doesn't knowing that something is going to hurt someone count as intentionally hurting them if you go ahead and do it anyway?
What people think about him doesn't matter. He knows this, on some level. He lives and breathes it in other parts of his life. But it's different. He can't explain it in any way that's going to make coherent sense to anyone but himself, but it's different.
Wu's hand is outstretched. Ryan lifts his own, as though he wants to reach out and take it and grip it tight.
...Except, he can't make himself do it. After a moment of tension, he pulls back. It feels like the wrong move, but the right one feels impossible.]
...Sorry.
[And he is. Fuck, he's so sorry - Wu's just trying to help and he's here being a baby about it. It's taking everything he has to hold himself together, and he roughly rubs at his eyes and sniffles and tries to just make everything stop before it can even start. Then, he lets out a frustrated groan.]
Ugh, I'm being such a buzzkill! I hate this! Wasn't this supposed to be like, the party of the century?! How did we even start talking about this anyway? I'm just--
[--NOPE, he's gonna bite his lip so he doesn't say that thing about himself that he was going to say. He's not going to blurt out how he's ruining everything, even though he's pretty certain he is, because it'll just keep everything going and going and going.]
...We should go forget about this. Get on the dance floor, maybe get a couple more drinks? It'll be-- ["great," he wants to say. He stumbles though, remembering what Wu literally just said, and picks a different word even though he means the same thing.] --it'll be fun, I promise!
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