deercountry | o4 . january catchall

[She's halfway toward bristling, and saying any number of defences. Angel's guilty of worse? Aren't you buddies with Spike now? How do you reform from anything?

And then Willow's saying that she believes her and Faith's... surprised. To say the least. It's a nice feeling, kinda, if a bit confusing.]

...Angel gave me a chance.

I can't take back what I've done, I can just do better in the future. I'm not asking for forgiveness from anyone. Least of all Buffy. But that's not what's important right now.

You've been living with a vampire, apparently, Willow just kicked him out.

[She never really knew Angel, so the use of his name didn't elicit much of a response from Tara. The last time he came around, everyone seemed to think he was evil. It...wasn't the best endorsement for someone still incredibly wary of evil activity.

Tara shot Willow a look, clearly not happy and likely to express that more vocally later. She pocketed her knife and pulled on her glove again, crossing her arms in front of her chest. The blatant sign of "I don't like this."]

I don't understand. [An understatement for her.] Are vampires like the vampires in Sunnydale? Magic is different here, does that mean vampires are too?

[All Willow can do is muster an apologetic look. She didn't mean for things to unfold this way, it just sort of... happened.

Magic is very different in Trench than it is from home, and she has to acknowledge it might be the same for vampirism, in spite of her suspicions.]

I don't know. They might be. We have to find out, and find a way to make things right again. All I know for sure right now is that Ozpin hasn't been himself. He's been feeding on Sleepers, and staring at Ange and Shannon to the point where they're nervous of him, and his intentions.

[She sighs.]

It's Ozpin. He wouldn't intentionally hurt anyone, but I'm worried he's going to a really dark place really fast. We need to make sure everyone's safe, and find a way to help him.

[Faith similarly crosses her arms, less unsure and more slightly defensive and aloof. She doesn't care. The complete and total distrust doesn't sting even a little because of course she should expect nothing less.

Totally.

God, she's pathetic.]

Slayers can sniff out vampires. Sort of a sense that we've got. He's got enough in common with them that he triggered that at least. [She glances at Willow.] He kept lying about it, or trying to, even though he literally couldn't. But I don't know if that tracks for him or not.

Doesn't seem like he's lackin' a soul, though, at least not completely. Normally vampires don't just creep on girls, they kill 'em, so he's got that much going for his defence.

If two of our housemates are feeling uncomfortable, it's better to separate the temptation. It seems like a harsh measure, but we should be safe in this case before anything else.

[She glanced momentarily at Faith, acknowledging what she was saying. It was useful, given that Buffy wasn't here to offer the slayer perspective. As much as Faith made her angry and uneasy, she did have to admit it made her feel better for a Chosen One to help them.

Life without Buffy after death had been super difficult. It would be worse here.]

I don't know if lying is common, but I can see why he would. He's probably worried how we'll respond. And...if stories about corruption are true, it's probably playing a part. If corruption is part of it.

[She shook her head. Lack of a soul, she's seen that it's not always a problem.]

I don't know if a soul means that much in this case. Besides the Trench being different, not all vampires are terrible without a soul. I mean, Spike went out of his way to protect Dawn and stop Glory. Maybe Ozpin is good like that too?

Yeah. The last thing I want to see happen is for anyone to get hurt because it gets to be more than he can stand.

[She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly before looking to Faith. She hates to ask, she normally wouldn't ask, especially since it's hard not to consider Faith a wild card, but she sees little choice at this point.]

Can you keep an eye on him when we're done here? Don't hurt him, just make sure nothing happens until we can get this figured out.

[She looks to Tara and raises her eyebrows.]

Well, Spike only turned around because he couldn't hurt people any more, and because he fell for Buffy. I don't think Ozpin's missing his soul, or anything, though - or, at least I hope not. Even if I could make the spell work, I have no idea if we'd even be able to get an Orb of Thesulah here. It could totally be a corruption thing, though.

Yeah, done. I was gonna do it anyway. I'll keep a lookout, make sure he doesn't hurt anyone. [No hurting him is a bit more complicated, but she's definitely not going to kill him. If he starts pouncing on people then that's a whole different story, but she's very much clear on the whole "no dusting thing."

She furrows her brow at the Spike comment. That's certainly news to her.] Yeah, didn't he turn up while I was around, kill a few people, kidnap you and threaten to kill you if... [She pauses, Willow's words catch up to her.] Wait. Spike fell for Buffy??

[Oh god. Is this because of the "riding you at a gallop until your legs buckled" speech? Did she seriously introduce more competition for herself in the form of loser vampires??]

Edited 2022-01-19 06:31 (UTC)

Umm...yeah. Buffy and Spike also had a thing. [Which is an understatement, but she's not sure how much about that she should share. It's not like it's a secret anymore, but how she felt about things and so on, that should be for Buffy to talk about.] It's all kind of complicated.

[Which is all the more clear now, since coming back from her death with the memories of her last moments. Just wanting to feel, she could see why Buffy would do anything to get that.]

Spike has done a lot of good since then. [And bad things. Very bad things. It's...so complicated and she doesn't have the bandwidth to really talk about it, especially with Faith.]

I mean, a lot of stuff happened since you were in Sunnydale. [And took Buffy's body. Never forget.] Buffy died and came back. Joyce died too.

[Murmured:] Died...died...died

Government chip stopped him from being able to feed on people.

[It's probably not so helpful, and also not so important in the moment, so she just shrugs.]

It's kind of a long story. I'll tell you about it sometime.

[And there it is, another glimpse of the sometimes unusual behaviour as though the needle on Tara's record player has suddenly gotten stuck. Willow gives Faith a concerned glance, and takes a step towards Tara.]

Tara? Are you okay?

[Her reaction to Tara's words are a bit of a process, first she's not sure how to react to the news that Buffy and Spike had a thing. It makes sense, he's certainly her type, more her type than that guy... nope, not thinking about that.

She's not going to think about this at all, actually. Especially once the topic changes, and it feels like her ears are buzzing because... those are two pieces of devestating news that hit in two distinctly different ways.

She was so fucking jealous of Buffy for having a mom that gave even the slightest shit about her. Buffy got friends, a watcher, a mom that complained about her roaming the streets at night rather than throwing her out on her ass in the thick of it whenever she wanted alone time with whatever junkie she'd lured into her bed. And now... huh. She'd done her absolute damndest to burn any bridges in any direction with the Summers family, but Joyce was one of the few people who ever bothered with her before Faith started killing people. It feels awful. She hates Angel for not even bothering to tell her. But not as much as she hates him from not telling her that Buffy...

That's why she felt like she'd lost a limb, isn't it? Of course it is. Or a weight, like seperating two magnets from eachother. That's why...

Where was I? In a cell, feeling sorry for myself? God, I really never will be anywhere near as good as you.

But she'll come back. Never any rest for the best or worst of them. Of course she'll come back, kicking and screaming. And deep down, Faith knows that just like her, she'll wish she never woke back up.] Right.

Guess I should've already... right. [She seems to rouse herself out of her own thoughts long enough to spot Willow's concern, and she tries to push this feeling of rage deep down to go unleash on anything anywhere else. She just raises a half-hearted eyebrow at Tara.]

Uh, yeah, you repeated yourself a bit there.

Edited 2022-01-22 09:30 (UTC)

What? Did I?

[Her face said that she hadn't heard herself. It was almost as if they started talking about how people wore shoes on their heads. She glanced between Willow and Faith, not following their concern.]

Um, I'm fine? A...are you okay?

[The stutter is not the best thing to return to, but much like her repetition, she doesn't seem to notice that old habit is back.]

S...so should we cast the anti vampire entry spell?

[It's difficult not to be concerned about the two of them. Faith is clearly trying to process the news of the deaths of both Buffy and Joyce, but at least they got Buffy back. She would have thought if Angel had been keeping her in the loop, she would have been told. It's fairly significant news, after all.

It's a conversation for another time.

She gives Tara a reassuring smile. The stutter makes more sense - it's a particularly stressful moment with all the upheaval, and Faith being here as well. That is far less concerning.]

We'll be okay. But yeah - the anti vampire entry spell is probably a great idea. Do you mind...? I still can't...

[She sighs. It's only been the past couple months she's really noticed how inconvenient it is not to be able to use her familiar spells from home, but especially in situations like this, she can't help but feel especially ineffective.]

[She doesn't register the question as being addressed to her. It seems more like a reflex, which annoys Faith a little. The ultra benevolent ones always do. She looks at Willow, still clearly stuck in her own head.

She wants to hit something. She wants to kill something. That always made her feel better.]

Want me to stick around and stand guard or go follow your friend? [She's tempted to make a joke about three being a crowd for this sort of thing, but for a number of reasons including her own discomfort, grief and rage, and the fact that it'd be kind of a dick thing to say in front of Tara considering everything, she decides against it.] Don't wanna get in the way of whatever you're doing.

[Or the things they clearly need to talk about behind her back.]

You wouldn't get in the way. [It was a fairly basic spell, one that that she had done enough times that she felt comfortable with what she was doing. What worried her was how it might backfire. The Trench was different than Sunnydale and Tara was still struggling to get a sense of the energy levels that she could draw from and channel her abilities.

What she was given was blood magic and something about that made her feel corrupted in her own right. Maybe it was being a Vile Blood, maybe it was because she never really used blood magic before coming here. Either way, it made things feel off for her.

Which death never helped either.]

I don't where Willow is. [A beat.] With this. Maybe it's a good idea to follow him and stake him. [Another beat] Out now. Or you could hang around? I can't say it's the most elaborate spell.

[Unless Faith wanted to see how it might backfire?]

Um...you can stay. I still don't know how my magic will respond here.

[The pauses are concerning as well, and Willow almost interrupts both times - especially when Tara says maybe it's a good idea to follow and stake Ozpin. Before she does, though, Tara is finishing her thought.]

It really is a pretty simple spell.

[It feels awful to say it, knowing it's a simple spell that she can't make work, and it reminds her again of what she's lost since coming to Trench. She sighs, and pushes the thought aside - there's not time for this right now.]

As much as I want to say stay, Faith, someone really should keep an eye on Ozpin... I really, really hope I'm wrong about him potentially being a danger right now, but what if I'm not?

[She gives a long and concerned look at Tara before nodding slowly. That was a lot of pausing, and while Faith would be glad someone else thought staking was a reasonable response to vampires, it's still a bit concerning to hear someone else say.

To Willow, she nods.] Yeah, from an outside point of view, completely divorced from how he is normally? I'd say he's definitely a potential danger at least.

I'll be pretty useless at helping with the magic, so I'll just go stake him out. I'll check in with you later. [She gives a wave and a smile that only seems about as halfhearted as it is, and starts walking out.]

[Tara waited until Faith was out the door and a good few minutes away before she looked back at Willow with a disapproving frown. It's not that she didn't trust her, but in this moment, she seemed reckless.]

Faith is dangerous. You were the one who told me that. How do you know she's not going to go overboard in watching Oz and attack him?

[She gestured for Willow to follow her as she went upstairs for the few ingredients she needed for the spell. There were a couple of loud shuts of drawers, signifying her annoyance.]

I don't know Angel or really what's going on in his mind, but if Buffy were here, she wouldn't want to trust Faith either.

[Willow gives Faith a small smile and returns the wave as she goes, and as soon as the door is shut, a little more of the tension in her drains away. Until she sees the look on Tara's face.

She's quiet for a long moment in the wake of the disapproving frown. If anyone had asked her this morning how today would have gone, she never would have expected to have the rug ripped out from under her quite to this extreme. Still, Tara deserves an explanation.

She runs a hand over her face as she tries to recollect her thoughts.]

It's, um, a Paleblood thing. People can't lie to us this month, it's why Ozpin couldn't...

[She trails off, and follows Tara upstairs. She winces a little as the drawers open and shut louder than is actually necessary, and sighs.]

I know Buffy wouldn't trust her, but she's the help we have right now.

I don't think she's lying, I think that she's impetuous and reckless. Didn't you say that she just snapped one day and killed a man? You told me that she was unstable. This could just be a bit of reason before she changes again.

[She has to wonder for a moment if she was talking about herself. No, no, it was Faith. She had seen what Faith could do and how dangerous she could be. It wasn't a good idea to give her room to suddenly go back to being a psycho.]

Do we really need her help? We've gotten along fine without it.

[Impetuous and reckless is not at all an unfair assessment of Faith, and she is very well aware of this. Still, she was the help they had in the moment, and Willow is well aware from her conversations with Ozpin, that vampires might need a little more explaining to the rest of the household, and in that moment, with a vampire loose on the town, it does not feel like they have time for questions and explanations.]

I think we need her right now, yeah. They don't have vampires in Remnant, the others are going to have questions, and asking Faith to keep an eye on Ozpin means we're free to answer them, and then find a solution before someone gets hurt.

[She knows an apology is owed, and she genuinely didn't mean to upset Tara like this.]

I'm sorry. I should've told you Faith was here before bringing her to the house. I didn't think things were going to go this way...

[She crossed her arms, a bit put out by Willow's defense, but not really able to argue with it. Willow had a point. If you were dealing with vampires, it was better to have a slayer around than none at all.

But why did it have to be Faith?]

Why didn't you? I keep feeling like you're walking on eggshells around me.

[Which was leading into a bigger issue.]

[Willow sighs. Not telling Tara Faith was here had been completely unintentional, but she can understand why an explanation is still owed.]

I saw her on the beach ages ago. It might've even been before you came. People come and go from this place all the time - lots of people show up when Sleepers come to shore, take a look around, and end up going back out to sea to... I dunno? Live their best squid lives or something? I didn't see her after that, so I figured that's what happened to her.

[She smiles a little.]

I guess I kind of got caught up in the excitement of you showing up and forgot all about Faith. 'Cause, come on, who would you be happier to see? Her or me?

[The smile spreads to something a little lighter, and more teasing.]

Hopefully it's me.

[Willow turns serious again, and sighs, rubbing a hand over her face. She might be able to still make a small joke, but she is still well beyond stressed by today's everything.]

Anyway. I didn't see her again until today. I didn't even think she was still here. I promise I didn't intentionally keep anything from you. It'd be kind of dumb for me to say 'hey, I'm gonna hide Faith from Tara, but also invite her over to the house where we all live and just hope she doesn't notice.'

I know you're excited, but that doesn't change that it seems like you're trying to shield me from things sometimes. Even if it slipped your mind that Faith was here, there's a bunch of other stuff that it seems like...well, you're afraid to say?

[She realizes she's making a thing of all this. Being that sort of girl. It's frustrating. She put her face in her hand, letting out a loud sigh.]

You don't need to answer that. I'm being bratty. The whole "Faith thing" has me rattled. I'm sorry.

[Willow steps over to Tara and gently lays a hand on her arm. She's careful to avoid bare skin, but it's hard not to want to comfort her.]

Tara, I was in Deerington for, like, eight months, then here for another three, or thereabouts, before you came. And most of the time, it made Sunnydale look... Boring. Trust me, I still have all kinds of stories I can tell about the stuff that happened there, but the main reason why I haven't yet is because it's kind of a lot to talk about all in one sitting. I'm not trying to keep things from you, I promise.

[Well... There are a few stories she's deliberately avoiding sharing because she worries how Tara will react, or because she's still processing herself, but it will come in time.]

[There's enough layers to keep from the risk of infecting Willow. The touch isn't unwelcomed. She placed her gloved hand over Willow's. It was probably the first real intimacy they shared since coming back.]

I know, I know. I'm just being bratty. I'm sorry. Don't pay attention to me.

I know you'll tell me all about it when you're ready.

o4 . january catchall

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cw for suicidal ideation, mentions of parental neglect

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