deercountry | ☣️ the court, the church, love, all left behind

Entry tags:

☣️ the court, the church, love, all left behind | OPEN

Who: Bigby the Abomination, OPEN
What: Catch-all for January! Includes a prompt for the Snake Den and Shedding Ceremony. Prompts will be broken up into comments for ease of finding and tracking.
When: January
Where: Snake Den and other various locations

Content Warnings: References to severe depression, self-loathing, forced transformation/body horror, torture, and religious zealotry. Snakeden is considerably lighter in tone if that's what you're looking for. Crimson curse prompt includes cannibalism, gore, and body horror.

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No.

[Spoken quietly, her eyes downcast.]

No, you are right. We are safer together. And I should - I should like to show you, where the church will be.

[The smile on Bigby's face is a polite one, but there is a hint of warmth to it. And too rarely did he ever have reason to smile, with the man that Junia knows.

Here, it is almost easygoing, comparatively.]

I should like that, Sister. Thank you kindly.

[Junia swallows, nodding, and begins to walk. It's a moment before she realizes it's in the wrong direction. She turns on her heel and marches the other way, somehow even more flustered.]

These streets are too confusing. [A poor excuse.] It is a wretched place, full of -

[She bites her tongue, actually bites it.]

Thank you. For accompanying me.

Your frustration is understandable. Worry not. And especially, we are strangers in a strange land.

[So he does not think much of it, fortunately.]

Of course, Sister. Think nothing of it. If anything, I am fortunate in knowing the Light is here with you.

[Again, the reference to the Light, no trace of guilt or deception in his tone. It does not make sense, in a way much different from how the rest of this does not make sense.

It does not make sense because she knows, surely, that the man who would bear the mark of abomination would not speak so of the Light. He would not ask to accompany her. She would not have accepted, without thinking of harm, of trickery. She worries at her lower lip, hands twisting on her basket.]

...do you like it, here?

[Inane. Useless. Fool.]

Hm. A bit, I think. There are certainly unusual customs that I do not fully understand, and it is easy to become lost in an unknown place. For as much as I revel in new discoveries... I worry about being away from the king and the court. I had much work left to be done, and too many suffering who could use aid.

[He gives a helpless shrug.]

There are fine points, and there are dismal ones. I like it enough, but I'd rather return to my work.

Has it been hard for you, in particular?

It has. At times.

[The heaviness in her voice despite her clumsy efforts to conceal it may make more sense, in that light.]

What is your work?

At the moment, I've had a recent breakthrough. Well, had; I know not if such a thing could pertain to here, but it is not impossible. Regardless, I was focused on attempting to find ways to help others cursed by the darkness, mutated by its touch. A work of alchemy and science, with a bit of the church's aid as well.

I like to think that those who are changed are not always lost to us. Often those who need help the most, in any case. I won't bore you with the details, but that has been my focus.

[The woven handle of the basket is crushed tight in her gloved hands.]

With the church's aid?

Of course. Without the church, I could not have accomplished so much. Holy water has been in particular use.

[He is not naive to how her hands tighten. Bigby had thought that perhaps this nun was simply nervous, but... hm. He hates to doubt, but it isn't impossible.]

Does it trouble you?

[The crux of the matter is not so much that Junia does not know of the Church's capacity for hypocrisy. She has known it well.

It is her own that she faces here, or does not face, looking away to the sun, and she is troubled, yes. She is, all at once, on the verge of a thing she cannot bear.]

No. It does not trouble me. I am only reminded of one I know, so afflicted.

Do you think...do you think that those so changed, that they bring such things upon themselves? Perhaps - not by malice, no, but carelessness. Error.

Humans misstep often, and I believe making mistakes is our nature. To better ourselves in difficult circumstances, is that not admirable too?

Regardless, no. I do not believe they do, for the most part. Typically, those so changed were forgotten by... others. [Bigby wants to call out the court, wants to call out the aristocrats that are so selfish and focused on themselves, but he knows how that might appear.

So he does not vocalize it. Not here, not even with a nun.]

And even then, if it was their own fault, how terrible is it to be compassionate?

What if one was not?

[Junia shifts her gaze to a distant point. Not the sun, or a cloud, but simply the sky itself. Her voice is hushed, as if in confession.]

What if - one had not been? [An amendment, of a kind.] Compassionate, to a soul so burdened. Would such an error receive your admiration?

[Ah. He isn't so naive as to not see what this is. Still, he does not scold or lecture. Instead, he looks at Junia, attempting to be reassuring.]

I think that if... one were to recognize their own error, then yes. Yes, I would. As that is something so few are willing to admit, even to themselves.

...what if it was not a matter of being willing, but of...

[She is a wretched, spineless coward, for skirting his eyes.]

I grow preoccupied with my own thoughts. It is a sickness. I should speak of lighter things. Do you - would you wish to come, to see the consecration, once the brazier is prepared? If you are enamored of invention, perhaps the burning mirrors would - if you have not seen such already?

[The swift change of topic is not unnoticed by him, but Bigby makes no demands of her focus. Whoever it is she speaks of, he hopes that she will eventually find her way of facing herself.]

I would be most honored, Sister. Please.

It will be so, then.

[Junia relinquishes the handle of the basket with one hand and brings it to her mouth, worrying at an already gnawed nail before she catches herself and drops her hand once more.]

...that is what the paper is for. I must determine the proper angles of reflection for igniting the Flame in the Light, and I do not have the Book of the Sun, nor the measures. I am not so learned as some of my sisters, it is - a difficulty.

[As far as broad hints go, this one could ring the city.]

Fear not. Even if it is imperfect, the Light will acknowledge your faith. I imagine it can be quite distressing, but I surmise you will manage it far better than if I were to try, hm?

Regardless, I look forward to something familiar of home.

[That catches Junia off-guard again, the gentle but firm insistence she is capable, that her faith will be rewarded, and it quiets her as they begin to approach the stone building she has claimed for her own.]

You are quick to believe in others. [She observes, with a rare thoughtfulness.] Not all have your faith. I pray that yours is rewarded in kind.

[To light a candle from the air, to make amends from ash. Perhaps she can, after all. Perhaps she must at least try, before conceding her own failings.]

You have given me much to reflect on. I thank you, for your illumination, and your aid.

I find it is better to believe in others than to let each other live in doubt. Even as we stumble, we ought to be able to rely on one another.

[Bigby smiles humbly and bows his head respectfully to her.]

It is my pleasure, even if it was purely accidental.

[Junia offers a respectful bow of her head in return, and it comes so naturally she does not think to check herself until it's done.]

I did not expect...to meet one such as you today. [A little hesitation, then:] I would like to pray for you, if you would permit it.

I would be flattered, Sister. Please -- I permit it.

I will commend you to the Light, then, and ask for Its intercession.

[And what she will pray for is this: that mercy allows for form and memory to remain so altered.]

Thank you for accompanying me. I will manage from here.

Of course.

Thank you for your company. It was a pleasure. Be well.

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☣️ the court, the church, love, all left behind | OPEN

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