deercountry | Don't Forget

Entry tags:

Don't Forget | Open

Who: Chara & OPEN
What: January Catch-All for the event.
When: Early january.
Where: All around town.

Content Warnings: Eventual suicidal ideation, eventual unreality, juggling things that are on fire, Deltarune spoilers.

1. SNAKES DEN

A. (COWARDICE)

[As others eagerly dive into this entire charade, Chara stays exactly where they belong, against the wall and as far away from anyone as possible. They know when they're being manipulated by external means, they've become an expert of it after their recent encounter, and they can safely say that this is more of the same.

Only worse, because they've made their peace with their status as a villain and a murderer, but they will not have themselves transformed into a smiling sychophant against their will.

Still. The atmosphere is hard to resist. They even find themselves smiling at some of the performances, or even laughing. What is wrong with them? Come bother them.]

B. (GLUTTONY)

[Chara, perhaps after a day of grouching, eventually folds and allows themselves to have fun. More accurately, they allow themselves to have an entire bowl filled to the brim with different chocolate desserts, something that they fought for with tooth and nail.

They sit down at a table and start putting them all down and arranging them into accordingly. They're fast to decide on starting with a chocolate tart. This. This is the only possible reason why existence in this blighted multiverse of wretched horrors and despair isn't a mistake, because chocolate immediately fills the void in their soul and the despair in their heart.

There are tears welling up in their eyes. Shut up] It feels like a lifetime since I've had any chocolate... or... actually longer. Much longer.

[After that, they can be spotted lying peacefully down amongst the pillows. It's soft. Comfortable. The atmosphere is enough that they won't even shoo away company.

* The bed is so soft, you feel like you could lie down and never get up.]

C. (VANITY)

[Chara, or someone who looks like Chara, with a casual green hoodie and jeans, stands near the stage to wait for their turn on the talent show.

They look... a bit older? Maybe two years older? And they stand decidedly more relaxed than Chara normally would. In fact, if they catch someone looking at them, they'll shoot them a grin.] Is it against the etiquette of this whole thing for me to ask what you've got prepared?

[Their own show consists of them juggling small rubber balls. At first. There's an impressive amount of them, about six, then seven... And then the rubber balls catch fire and they still juggle them. Seven's quite a magical number.

And then they turn into flaming knives, and Chara still keeps juggling. The knives seem to double, reaching about fourteen, and they still keep juggling them. The transformation is certainly magic, but the juggling is just them doing their thing, and it seems like they've had extensive practice in. Perhaps even excessive practice, all things considered, but they found it's a good way to learn magic. And then they allow them all to fall and fizzle out into red misty hearts. They bow dramatically and grin at the crowd, truly the coolest kid.] Thank you! You've been a fantastic audience. Have a good night.

[And with that they drop off the stage and stalk off to join the audience.]

2. SHEDDING

A. (LOVELESS aka Pacifist Chara)

[Anyone who has spoken to Chara will know that they're quite deadpan with their emotions, only really becoming expressive at seemingly random things that they still feel strongly enough to emote over. Not at the moment. At the moment, as they pass through the streets of Trench, they are bitter and angry and dealing with a whole mess of feelings that they can't quite parse.

They have lost something. Whether they only lost it now, or they lost it long ago, that's not something they themselves can quite decide. They are in a lot of ways, still the same Chara, with the same knowledge and the same experiences, only what they remember freshest was a happy ending untinted by bitter feelings of greed and envy.

They can be spotted all over the place, either just casually poking through stores, sitting on their own and staring out into the waves in the middle of the night, or even at the party. However, one night, they might be sitting on their own, stewing in their own toxicity, when they speak up.]

...Do you think anyone can be a good person if they just try?

B. (THE JUDGE aka Storyshift Chara)

[This version of Chara catches on quick. They've taken over an alternate version of themselves and seemingly hijacked their life. Alarming, but apparently it's happening all over the place, so they'll probably be back home soon. If not... well, that's something that can be crossed when they get to it.

They're a lot less outwardly emo than their other selves, generally just taking the time to sightsee. They can't imagine they'll be here for long, based on what they've learnt about whatever condition this place is currently under, so why not make the most of it. If they're not encountered at the party, they're most likely encountered wandering the streets. They're a bit out of their element but they're a good enough actor that they definitely won't show it.]

So, what's there to do around here, anyway?

WILDCARD
(Hit me up on discord, plurk or PMs if you have any specific ideas and I'll write up a starter. 1A and 1B can be either Pacifist Chara or regular Chara. Put in the subject header if you have a preference, otherwise I'll decide case by case.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm observant. It's how I get by. Besides, it's not like we've never theorized about mirror universes splintering off of a base-world. ["We" being Sans and them when they were testing the limit of their DETERMINATION.] This just proves we were right.

[They're not sure if they themselves are a splinter or the base, but they figure probably the former. They'd always felt it was odd that they got a happy ending, this just explains why.

Of course they were never meant to.]

What are they like?

Very untrusting. Very bitter by nature. There's a lot of pain in their eyes, and they hate it when I assume things about them. Or they chide me for it. It's hard to tell. Talking with them can be like picking my way through a field of broken glass.

At the same time, they can be very pragmatic about everything. It can make them be easy to work with, but very hard to be close to. [She sighed and rubbed her forehead, wondering if Chara would remember what was said about them afterwards.] They can be quite judgmental at times.

They originally hated Mother Superior, for what she wanted to do to Julia, but I could never pin down what it was. Their hate was so profound it felt personal. I think they hated that Julia's freedom to just be a child was taken from her, that she was never really given a choice but to be the monster everyone feared.

[Chara nods along, like this all makes sense. It does, to be honest, they can very easily see a version of themselves who never learnt to properly cover up the uglier parts of their personality, or perhaps even gained LOVE, acting exactly like that.]

Huh. [They don't seem deeply bothered by it, but they aren't smiling, so that's new.] Guess that tracks. I mean, I get it, regarding Mother Superior, though I don't really have the context to fully psychoanalyze my splibling.

I wonder what's different about us...

I don't know. I know some things about you, about them, but they are cagey about the details of their past. And, I suppose an implied agreement is that I don't press and pry. I let them reveal what they are willing, when they're willing.

[that had certainly been how it was in the old days. Chara had been very clear about not liking people prying in those days.]

There is definitely a difference, but it's hard to put a finger on.

Well, I wouldn't count on anything you know about them to apply to me. But I doubt you and I will know eachother long. [They shrug.

Their manner of speaking is a lot less enunciated, and more easily confident. They're not fixated on sounding more adult and erudite.]

I have a few guesses, honestly. I figure they probably got a much tougher hand than I did when they fell. No idea how, though.

If you are their body, undergoing a shedding?

[That possibility now reared its ugly head. It was something she'd encountered with a few, where they were suddenly rendered younger or somehow different.]

No, this will probably be a week or month at most, before you revert to their state of mind. I'm being a little cautious, admittedly, because I don't want to break any agreements we may or may not have made in the past. Like you said, best not to assume.

And... if I am not revealing my hand a bit too much, I actually care about your opinion of me, regardless of which you it is. I thought about concealing that when they and I first met here in Trench, but hiding things from either of you isn't smart. You're pretty good at telling when someone is holding out on you.

There's no "if" about that. They left a note for me, in case another form of themselves appears. Just a list of secrets they didn't want me to share.

[A lot of which they hadn't really known about, due to the differences in their own circumstances. But some of them... yeah.

There's clearly some baggage there, regarding "either of you", like there's a more prevalent dichotomy between one Chara and the other. Interesting, considering the fact that there are two Charas is a "previous 5 minutes" problem, from their perspective. If they were more nosy they'd ask about it. For now, they're fine to let it be.]

...I have to say, it's rare for an adult to respect a kid. But I'd say I've got a pretty good read on people, yeah. [Cynical as their thoughts on just about everyone are.] Any reason why you care so much?

...

[She blinked and then started to laugh, reaching up to put her fingers to her temple as she did. Sorry, she couldn't really help it. That was damned funny. Her head shook and she managed an honest smile over at Chara as it ended.]

I leave a note for myself in case I lose my memories too. It tells me who I am. Somehow, I'm not surprised Chara's is to tell them what not to tell people.

[Give her just a second to giggle that out. It doesn't last long, but it was funny to her.]

Well, they are good with a knife, and they're fearless in exploring for the truth that others would sometimes shy away from. They might be a child, but they are quite capable at times...

But as for why. [She paused and tapped her lips.] They remind me of Duran at times, a very old friend. There are large differences, but my memories of that young man often give me a habit of picking up strays, I suppose.

Honestly, neither am I. If another version of myself showed up and showed Asriel where I hide my stash, I'd never forgive them.

[More seriously, they do understand how deep their trust issues and self hatred run. It's just in a more literal sense for this version, apparently.]

What's the story there? Regarding Duran, I mean.

mmm, and there's a name. Naughty naughty. They never mentioned that name. I'll have to forget that.

[She seemed to be relatively warmed up if she was making a joke there. Chara always had her on pins and needles. Now was no real exception, but the joke helped her a little bit.]

Duran was a young man I helped to raise. Cursed by his bloodline to die a terrible death, like his father, his grandfather and his great grandfather, and to take the woman he loved with him along with two others. His ancestors coped with it in their own way.

He was angry, bitter, full of scowls and wrath, pushing everyone aside with an insult, a jab or cold shoulders. It took a long time for us to truly help him, and in the end I was never so good at it as Sharona was. [She sighed.] Underneath the pain, I think he'd been trying to defy his fate, to keep everyone away to not suffer with him. Ah, but that's not how the heart is. His bride didn't care about any of that.

There are quite a few differences, but it was that bitterness, that pushing away. It reminds me of Duran. He was a pretty good read of emotion too.

Really...? Never? Huh.

[That's weird. Chara's note never indicated anything about Asriel, so it seems possible to suggest that maybe he never existed...? Right?

No, that still feels wrong.]

I can respect that. I'm not exactly fate's biggest advocate either, though I know from experience that shoving people away doesn't actually help. [They say, hiding secrets from their entire family, like a liar.] I'm glad you were able to help him.

So... does that mean you think of Chara in a familial sense?

[Nope! It was more that the first Chara had never mentioned any names at all, even when trapped in memories and the last might only have mentioned one or two in passing, if that. So she knew paltry little actual details, more general impressions from the tone of conversations and events described vaguely.]

It doesn't. And I'm careful not to use that term. Family is ... a difficult thing for Chara, but I won't assume if it is or isn't for you right now. I know what they told me about their feelings of their relationship with what they consider to be their real family, but they did not explain the details of why and I didn't ask. I just know that...

How do I put this?

I might want to take care of Chara as if they were my family, but I don't have the right to just do that. Though, I think Chara could understand me as I say that where a lot of people their age probably would not.

[Chara is silent for a few moments, their expression something between a frown and a grimace. Hm. Bad. This is bad, actually.]

I don't suppose you mind telling me what they said about them? Their real family, I mean? [They're going to go out on a limb and say that it's probably different from their own. Yes, the familiar feeling of family they didn't deserve. Of course, this is probably closer to what they're supposed to be, right...?

There's a root difference, between them and this other Chara, but they need to know the diverging point to determine what the best approach is.] I don't think it's.... [Their frown deepens, unsure on how to word this, then they let out a sigh.] I don't know.

[Because they don't know what to suggest. But there's a sense of worry to their tone.]

... I mind a little.

[And very suddenly, her body posture clammed up a slight bit. She folded her arms and was clearly trying to think about something. This Chara, almost certainly some sort of shed skin, and they'd be back to normal. Vira-Lorr was calculating things, reactions, and above all...

promises.]

So. Answer me honestly, Chara. If, in a week's time, you are back to being the original Chara who I know. Would you consider it a betrayal for me to say more, if I promised not to actually say what they told me long ago?

Because it would be my assumption that Chara would consider it a betrayal.

[They shrug.]

I mean, I don't have any trust in you to be betrayed in the first place. So, not really. [The casual and friendly air to their tone doesn't really drop, but they do frown.

The list of people they do trust caps out at their brother, honestly. Their mother and father mean well but they're flawed people, and Chara's gotten a good glimpse of the full extent of that. Frisk's an active threat, no matter how nice they seem now. Sans has gallons of blood on his hands, no matter the things he's done for them. Papyrus...]

I believe you want to help them... me, but I'm not sure you really know how. I don't think they know how to be helped either. I didn't.

Edited 2022-01-23 07:35 (UTC)

Believe me. I don't, but that doesn't change that I want to. So, my answer to your question will be a little veiled. Let us just say that what they told me? Most would say I am foolish for thinking of myself as their family, and that I've put myself at a certain amount of risk.

[After all, the words 'destroyed' and 'ruined' had been the vocabulary used.]

But I can be a bit of a stubborn woman at times.

[That's about what they expected. They smile, then.]

Then you're probably on the right track. From the sounds of it, they seem kinda chuuni. Don't take anything I say as fact, 'cuz I've never actually met this splinter of myself, but if I had to guess about the best approach...

Don't push past their boundaries too far, which you seem to have down, but don't let them shove you away or create more distance either. They're probably not someone who can live in this world alone, even if when it gets bad they'll probably think they want to. [During their own darkest hour, they'd pushed everyone away in preperation of what they were planning to do. Their only use was as a soul, and they were adamant about being useful to these people who gave them love that they never deserved.

Chara's smile takes on a more mischevious light.] Just stay DETERMINED, and it'll all be fine.

Mmmm. Most of that matches what I'd imagine, and you needn't worry. At this point, I'm quite determined not to give in. Chara may be able to protect themselves in a fight, but that's far from the only threat in this place. They're not very... they're not very good at living so much as they are capable of surviving.

[She sighed and dragged her hand through her hair.]

But now, that leaves us with what you intend to do with the time that you have here. I certainly do not mind talking. But I am curious what you plan to do with yourself, knowing that your time is limited.

That's good. That's more or less what I was concerned about. Sorry for the more solemn mood I caused.

[And suddenly the aloof friendliness is completely back.]

I guess just read up on what's going on and explore? I mean, I live in a giant underground cave, even seeing the sky's a bit of a novelty.

It's fine. I'm sort of used to things being a little more serious where you're involved, whichever of you it might be. [She laughed softly.]

Is that so? Well, you'll find ample novelty in the area. I don't recommend moving into the caves around here. The crabs are hungry and quite poisonous.

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Don't Forget | Open

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cw for mention of suicide

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