don't know who I am right now [open]

[vibing]

Who: Yuri Lowell, but as a child, & you!
What: Yuri attempting to train with a sword and stealing some jerky
When: January 12-19
Where: Crenshaw, Willful Machine, the beach

Content Warnings: N/A

A. Training
[ When Yuri first woke up here, he woke up in a room with a lot of weapons in it. At least three swords, two shields, and more knives than he could count. He immediately took one of those swords. He doesn't have one yet at home, but it's a dream, a dream to have a sword and become a knight and change the Empire for the better.

With stolen sword in hand, a ten-year-old Yuri is out in some barren area of Trench, whatever greenery was there killed by the cold and snow. The sword is too big and too heavy for him, more than half his height in length, and his arms are shaking from the exertion, but he needs to learn. He needs to fight. He was told that this place is dangerous, and he needs to be able to fight, to defend himself, and defend those who can't defend themselves. That's what he's going to do. That's part of the oath he swore with Flynn: to make the world a better place for everyone.

He slashes down with a grunt, but with too much force, and the tip of the sword lodges itself in the ground ]

Stupid-- sword--!

[ He grumbles and tries his best to get it out, but the ground is frozen and hard around it ]

B. Haggling
No, that's too expensive.

[ Maybe it isn't that strange of a sight in Trench to see a child haggling for food. Here is a ten-year-old, bundled up in a coat that is too big for him, sleeves bunched up on his arms, the shoulders hanging off his thin frame. He's trying to buy some jerky, something that seems practical and filling and he's ten and doesn't know how to cook yet.

The Trenchie doesn't look very enthused by this kid who only has a few stones to his name, and rejects his offer. Yuri's little hands ball into fists ]

Fine.

[ He turns on his heel and stalks away, making a show of it, only to twist on his toes a few yards later, and lurches back toward the stand to grab some of the jerky, making off with it before the Trenchie can grab him. Who knows if this is even illegal in Trench?

Yuri dodges through the crowd, clutching the jerky close. Do you stop him? ]

C. Wildcard
[ Want to run into tiny Yuri somewhere else? He can be found around Crenshaw, Willful Machine, and by the beach. Hit me! ]

Comments

[thinkfirst]

It is that big! Also, something was at work that month. Many people got lost.

[ But, after a moment, as Flynn leads him along the icy sidewalk, he snorts, a little puff of laughter that crystallizes in the chilly air. ]

I do need to work on my sense of direction. Can I ask you something, Yuri?

[vibing]

You do.

[ Flynn got them lost once, deep in the Citizen's quarter where Flynn used to live, where he swore he knew every street, but was quickly proven wrong.

Yuri huffs at the question. Why are people asking him for his permission to ask him something? It's annoying. He doesn't know what the question is. Once he does, he'll decide if he wants to answer it. ]

Yes.

[thinkfirst]

[ It's not exactly that Flynn wants to take advantage of the strange way people have been more open with him since the shift. It's also not exactly that Yuri is a child and perhaps more forthcoming, but that's all part of it. It's also just that Flynn feels so far away, feels like Yuri is still running headlong away from everything they wanted to be, except right now. Right now he still wants those things, and Flynn can't help himself. ]

You want to become a knight too, right? What do you hope to do once you get there?

[vibing]

[ Well, he certainly can answer that question. That's something he knows, deep in his own heart, that he knows better than he knows himself ]

I want to help people. I want no one to have to wonder when they're going to eat, or if a knight is going to take their gald from them. I want to make people feel safe.

[ But-- this makes him suspicious. He glares up at Flynn ]

You should know that.

[thinkfirst]

I do.

[ Flynn admits quietly, through the constriction of his own heart. Of course Yuri's ideals are all about others. Of course he wants to protect people: it's all he's ever wanted. That hasn't changed, really. Only the methods by which he does it, which means that Flynn is not allowed to still feel hurt that they didn't necessarily have to include him. That worry is radiating from him all the same. ]

I don't know if it's alright to tell you that we've both managed it. We still have a lot of work to do, but... at home, we were making real changes. You helped so many people, Yuri.

[vibing]

[ Yuri doesn't understand the feelings he's feeling, but he gets it enough to take a step closer to Flynn, walking in step with him as best he can being half his size ]

I did?

[ It's not that he doesn't believe he can do it. He does, he believes it firmly, that he and Flynn will work as hard as they can to change everything, to change the Empire so no one is lesser than anyone else, not anymore. ]

...who didn't I save?

[thinkfirst]

[ These questions are going to be the death of him. Flynn makes a small, sharp sound, glancing away into the window of a shop selling herbs, bursting with dried flowers. He can't lie to Yuri. ]

One of the first things you must learn as a knight is that it is impossible to save everyone. For all that you wish to do exactly that... there are times when you have to compromise.

Thankfully, we have not had to do that with anyone close to you. Hanks still hasn't retired, of course, but... he's doing much better. They all are. The knights are changing. There is still corruption in the ranks, but by and large, they are actually beginning to live by the oaths they swore when they joined.

[vibing]

That's stupid. Why can't we?

[ How could he choose between one life and another? That goes exactly against his beliefs. Everyone is equal, everyone's life is worth the same. How could he choose between two? ]

If we can't save everyone, we didn't do anything.

[thinkfirst]

No.

[ Flynn corrects firmly, looking down at Yuri's little determined face. ]

While we strive to save everyone, thinking like that only leads to despair. There is value in incremental progress. It's a trap I've fallen into all too often myself.

[ Which is something he doesn't think he's ever talked to Yuri about as an adult. Should he be saying such things to him like this? Flynn isn't sure. He feels so often lately like he's feeling his way forward in the dark, hoping he has chosen the correct direction. ]

I do not believe that anyone should be purposefully sacrificed for the greater good, but... there are always losses. If you want to be a good knight, you have to know that what you are aiming for is still worth it.

[vibing]

[ A protest is on the tip of Yuri's tongue, but... he does want to be a good knight. He does. It's how they're going to change the world, and Flynn is already doing that. He is a good knight, probably a great knight, and Yuri trusts him. He's Flynn, of course he trusts him. ]

But the people, the ones you didn't save. How... what happens to them?

[thinkfirst]

[ This is a heavy conversation, but it's not one Flynn is going to shy away from. He hated being talked down to as a child, they both did. They had seen plenty of death and despair by the time they were ten. Being treated as if they were too delicate to handle such things was an insult on top of it all.

Flynn lets out a breath. ]

That depends on what we are trying to save them from. Some die. Some refuse to be saved, and some run further along the paths that are hurting them.

[vibing]

That's... why would they do that? Run further, if you're trying to help them?

[ Yuri doesn't understand the irony of what he's saying, looking up at Flynn with a little frown as they walk out of Crenshaw ]

[thinkfirst]

[ Why indeed. Flynn almost laughs, has to bite down on the sharp sound before it can escape into the cold air. ]

Pride, perhaps. Desperation, or a sense that being helped means you're weak. Of course it would be easier if everyone would accept the help others are willing to give, but the world is not that simple.

What is simple, however, is getting you a sword. I remember the sword we got was even a bit too heavy for us. Something lighter and one-handed would make a good practice weapon. What do you think?

[vibing]

[ Yuri thinks about that, but Flynn successfully distracts him from responding with talk of swords. He nods his head seriously ]

Yeah, I think that's a good idea. Two handed swords don't let you move very fast. What kind of sword do I use, when I'm older?

[thinkfirst]

You've used plenty of swords and you can pick up pretty much any weapon you get your hands on—I've seen you use axes, too—but generally, you seem to prefer the lighter one-handed swords.

[ An easier thing to talk about, clearly, and one of Flynn's favorite subjects. ]

You're a very fast fighter.

[vibing]

Axes... [ He's never really thought about using an axe as a weapon, but it does sound pretty cool. But not as cool as swords. Swords are the ultimate cool.

He looks back up at Flynn ] Do I ever beat you?

[ Because, well, he never has ]

[thinkfirst]

You have.

[ Flynn says with a flash of a smile, confidence brimming up and over. ]

Once. If you want to beat me more often, you'd better train hard.

[vibing]

Only once?!

[ Yuri groans, dropping his head. But, then, well ]

Wait, I do beat you? [ Whatever sadness he had at that evaporates immediately and he laughs, bright and easy ] Hah! I'll train so hard that I'll beat you a million times.

[thinkfirst]

[ There's that familiar determination. Flynn laughs, nudging his hand into Yuri's tiny shoulder. ]

I would love to see you try.