deercountry | February Catrchall

( a. FREE COFFEE )
[ In the south-west part of Gaze, near the forest that borders the town, is a house with a sign reading 'FREE COFFEE' in front of it, complete with a little arrow indicating that one should take a path towards a detached greenhouse-and-barn combination that sits on the property. Given that the front yard is thoroughly decorated with chevaux de frise that appear to be made of bone, maybe following the suspicious sign isn't the best idea.

But those that do will find nothing bad waiting for them when they step through the greenhouse door. Inside there's only a tall pile of coffee-stuffed paper bags, an even taller pile of loose coffee beans, and a single man working to convert the latter into the former. When he sees that he has a guest he stops his work and lifts his hand in a wave. ]

Hello! Are you here for the coffee?

( b. results )
[ Those that don't have coffee pots of their own, or don't know how to make coffee, aren't left out in the cold, however. Ford's happy to make a cup for anyone that asks. It's no fancy cafe, but there's a few places to sit and the whole greenhouse smells pleasantly of... well, coffee. Ford has sugar and cream and a collection of mismatched little mugs (an alarming number of which are decorated with glitter), so once his latest ~~test subject~~ guest has had a sip, he doesn't hesitate to jump in with a question. ]

Well, how is it?

( OOC )
This is a companion log to my network post! Feel free to comment to one, the other, or both! You can also hit up my inbox if you want to skip right to reporting the results.

The beans are much, much weaker than normal beans in terms of taste and caffeine content. It'll take 3x-5x as many beans to get a cup that tastes right. This batch will be free of side effects.

Edited 2022-02-01 18:15 (UTC)

[ with a nod, acknowledging both the wave in greeting and the question: ] Is it permitted to acquire multiple bags of free coffee instead of one?

[ albedo has yet to collect a bag for himself; he decides to stay put until he receives the green light to do so. ]

I am also curious about the spell you've used to produce the coffee beans... You've mentioned to someone in the network that it was one you've discovered in the Archives. Was it possible due to the blood type you've been bestowed with upon arrival or have you always been magically inclined?

[ so many questions already... ]

Of course!

[ He gestures to the pile, still quite sizeable despite having set here for several hours already. ]

Please, help yourself. They'll only go to waste if left here too long.

[ Ford's in a good enough mood already, but then Albedo asks about the spell and his good cheer ratchets up further, stopping just shy of 'manic'. ]

I believe it's both! I did my share of magic and tinkering with spells before I was brought to Deerington, but Darkblood has given me access to a much greater degree of flexibility than I ever had back home.

You have my gratitude. [ he moves to collect two bags worth of coffee beans, his original intent for the visit wholly satisfied now. but albedo does not move to depart; ford's reply is enough to keep him rooted with interest. ]

I see. And how did you come to discover the limitations of your Darkblood capabilities? ... This is quite the phenomenon for me, something that did not exist in the world where I've come from.

[ there's also corruption as an added bonus to worry about; he didn't care to shed too much in exchange for even a modicum of his sanity. a safer method in assessing these profound abilities may be recorded in the archives somewhere, but no harm in asking for the personal account of a long time resident. or so he assumes of ford based on how he speaks comfortably about this place, the magic it seems to bring about to its populace. ]

[ Long-term isn't entirely inaccurate, but it's more that Ford is just used to adapting to really weird circumstances. ]

Through trial and error, mostly. I've been experimenting both with spells I knew before I arrived here and others I've discovered since arriving in order to pinpoint my strengths and weaknesses.

[ The coffee beans are actually part of that, as it turns out. ]

I can't say conclusively whether the limitations I've discovered are due to my blood or my own methods, however.

Oh, hey, I know you! Love to get free coffee from a guy I met in a back alley, this is great.

[ Says Gideon, with absolutely no trace of irony in her voice. This is great. She's used to bone decor, after all. Nothing can tank her mood now. ]

So do I just pour a cup, or what?

Oh-- hello again!

[ Ford definitely remembers Gideon. Casually discussing necromancy and cults while possibly being stalked by a dullahan makes for a memorable evening. ]

Actually, have a seat for now. I've been brewing each cup fresh for the sake of consistent feedback.

[ Gideon takes a seat and watches alley-guy at work with what she hopes is an approving and understanding gaze. You know, from one bari-star to another. ]

Love the dedication to quality and freshness, man. [ that's how bari-stars talk, right? ] I'm guessing you want a review from me, then? That's cool, I've got great opinions. [ and everyone loves hearing about them, naturally. ]

[ Quality and freshness... Ford actually chuckles at that. ]

I could get similarly consistent results with day old coffee if I wanted. I just thought this would net me more respondents.

[ Turns out Ford's way more of a scientist than a bari-star. He does, at least, know how to make coffee and sets the latest batch to brewing in the little 4-cup coffee maker he has in the greenhouse. ]

That's right! Primarily on taste, though any assessment you can give me on the effects of caffeine would be appreciated as well.

[ He's expecting those results to be much more imprecise, however. ]

[ Respondents, customers... at the end of the day, is there really a difference? Gideon doesn't think so. Also, she barely knows what science is, beyond "nerd stuff," so. ]

Okay, perfect. It's supposed to give you a ton of energy, right? I can do a little workout here [ in a stranger's house, no big deal ] and let you know if I notice any difference.

But why do you wanna know? I thought most people already knew what caffeine does.

[ If there's anything odd about a near-stranger doing a workout routine in his coffee-filled greenhouse, Ford gives no indication that he realizes as much. ]

Caffeine gives you energy, and coffee ground to a certain coarseness and brewed in a certain ways contains predictable amounts of caffeine.

But this is coffee created via magic. Even if it looks the same, even if it tastes the same, it might not be anything more than hot flavored water. I can't know how successful the spell ways unless I know how much caffeine the replicated beans have, and since I don't have any machinery that can determine that for me I have to rely on second-hand information.

[ Ford rattles this information off like he's said it a thousand times before, and like he doesn't realize Gideon might not care about receiving such a thorough explanation. ]

The video comes across of a nervous-looking young woman with wavy, brown hair and big brown eyes.

she's currently holding a coffee cup limp in her hand with a dejected look on her face]

...um. Sir? I tried your coffee, but it kind of turned into Folger's Crystals. Even when I added cream and sugar.

I tried to eat it, I really did, but the texture was weird and I couldn't do it! The extra weird part is that when I tried to dump the cup out in the sink, it all of a sudden became coffee! So it's like a coffee-tease? Do you know what might have, you know, caused this?

February Catrchall

Open Threads

( early february )

free coffee.

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free coffee

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free coffee! /sobs