sad space dad had a bad (
shiro2hero) wrote in
deercountry2022-02-08 04:06 pm
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Entry tags:
you took your toll on me {OPEN}
Who: Shiro & OPEN
What: Catch all for February event + newsletter
When: All month long (2/1 - 2/28)
Where: Various - listed in prompts
Content Warnings: attempted harm via combat, mild altered mental state via chocolates, blood ritual in closed threads
CHOCOLATE EFFECT
Almond + Strawberry - compelled to communicate exclusively through song - emotions projected through an aura
(1) Market / Willful Machine
Shiro really doesn't notice anything's wrong. Or even different. As far as he knows, it's just another day. Just another round of errands before he heads off to work with the Wakers. Maybe he'll find a familiar face out there. Most likely not. His hands are in his pockets, casually wandering down the boardwalk before his shift - and... is he humming? He's humming. And apparently oblivious to it. Though, once he draws an audience, that very well may change. There also appears to be some kind of light show going on in his vicinity. A pulse around him in muted colors of dim twilight.
That's probably okay. Right?
(2) Any Stage
... It does change. At some point, any point in the month, should you walk into a venue with a stage, or an open mic, Shiro's there. Up on the stage. Where he's somehow gotten hold of his Space Ho crop-top, and appears to be in the middle of a reprise of Under Pressure. The light show around him is still going strong, bursting in brilliant yellows and golds shot with silver. If he spots a familiar face in the crowd, he cuts it off and reaches out to haul the individual on stage with him. The lighting follows his movements, swirling in time with whoever he sees - green-gold, purple-silver.
"It's so great to see you!" is what he says, before immediately launching into some other song. And, oh no. Oh, no is he dancing. He's dancing with the poor soul on stage with him.
Have you heard it before? Maybe? Do you resist going on stage? If so, he's going to be serenading his feelings from stage, probably more embarrassing than just getting up there. Because Shiro's not about to stop.
Shiro really doesn't notice anything's wrong. Or even different. As far as he knows, it's just another day. Just another round of errands before he heads off to work with the Wakers. Maybe he'll find a familiar face out there. Most likely not. His hands are in his pockets, casually wandering down the boardwalk before his shift - and... is he humming? He's humming. And apparently oblivious to it. Though, once he draws an audience, that very well may change. There also appears to be some kind of light show going on in his vicinity. A pulse around him in muted colors of dim twilight.
That's probably okay. Right?
(2) Any Stage
... It does change. At some point, any point in the month, should you walk into a venue with a stage, or an open mic, Shiro's there. Up on the stage. Where he's somehow gotten hold of his Space Ho crop-top, and appears to be in the middle of a reprise of Under Pressure. The light show around him is still going strong, bursting in brilliant yellows and golds shot with silver. If he spots a familiar face in the crowd, he cuts it off and reaches out to haul the individual on stage with him. The lighting follows his movements, swirling in time with whoever he sees - green-gold, purple-silver.
"It's so great to see you!" is what he says, before immediately launching into some other song. And, oh no. Oh, no is he dancing. He's dancing with the poor soul on stage with him.
Have you heard it before? Maybe? Do you resist going on stage? If so, he's going to be serenading his feelings from stage, probably more embarrassing than just getting up there. Because Shiro's not about to stop.
Peanut Butter - you now have animal features
(1) Arrival
Initially, when the massive, mottled grey and white wings appeared, Shiro kind of panicked. Who wouldn't, when your coat splits open, and enormous feathers sprout? He doesn't remember anything weird happening, even though he should. It doesn't hurt, thankfully, it's more startling than it is actually painful. But it throws him off-balance enough to go sprawling sideways into a wall. Or a person. Hopefully it's a wall and not someone who's going to put up a fuss over being sprawled into by a dorito-shaped winged man.
"Sorry! I - excuse me!"
The unfortunate Trenchie ducks to one side, and, well. Said Winged Man ends up in a bush. Looking more put out and annoyed than actually hurt as he tries to untangle himself.
(2) Over Beach
In the end, though, you cannot keep Shiro grounded. Not when you hand him such an obvious way to get airborne again. The sand, mostly frozen still, is dotted with human-shaped impressions where it didn't quite work as planned. But looking upward, you'll see he got the hang of it pretty quickly. Sure, he had to rip up a shirt for this, but it's worth it. Even Shiro isn't reckless enough to go flying without some kind of protection on his skin, thank you.
He can be seen skimming low over the half-frozen waves, trailing a hand through them before climbing skyward again. The look on his face is... well. It's elated. It's overjoyed. He even climbs up higher than strictly necessary, spiraling, and gliding. It's a show, but one mostly for himself. Until he spots someone on the sand, and angles in for a landing.
Watch out!
Initially, when the massive, mottled grey and white wings appeared, Shiro kind of panicked. Who wouldn't, when your coat splits open, and enormous feathers sprout? He doesn't remember anything weird happening, even though he should. It doesn't hurt, thankfully, it's more startling than it is actually painful. But it throws him off-balance enough to go sprawling sideways into a wall. Or a person. Hopefully it's a wall and not someone who's going to put up a fuss over being sprawled into by a dorito-shaped winged man.
"Sorry! I - excuse me!"
The unfortunate Trenchie ducks to one side, and, well. Said Winged Man ends up in a bush. Looking more put out and annoyed than actually hurt as he tries to untangle himself.
(2) Over Beach
In the end, though, you cannot keep Shiro grounded. Not when you hand him such an obvious way to get airborne again. The sand, mostly frozen still, is dotted with human-shaped impressions where it didn't quite work as planned. But looking upward, you'll see he got the hang of it pretty quickly. Sure, he had to rip up a shirt for this, but it's worth it. Even Shiro isn't reckless enough to go flying without some kind of protection on his skin, thank you.
He can be seen skimming low over the half-frozen waves, trailing a hand through them before climbing skyward again. The look on his face is... well. It's elated. It's overjoyed. He even climbs up higher than strictly necessary, spiraling, and gliding. It's a show, but one mostly for himself. Until he spots someone on the sand, and angles in for a landing.
Watch out!
Coffee - erratic, irrational behavior, horrible hangover
(1) Trenchwood
How could he say no to coffee? Especially coffee with the added lingering effect of the peanut butter - wings, in this case. Right now, he feels invincible. He feels like he could take on the world. And there's only one place to test it. Out in the wilds, where hardly anyone ventures. If he can get some good aerial views of the woods, maybe that would be of help. Despite everything, despite the overwhelming urge to reckless action, he wants to use it for good. The huge appendages shift, flex.
"I'm going in." A beat. "Over." In that Shiro Tone of "you can't stop me".
So... there's that. Can't stop, won't stop.
Join him?
(2) The Crash - Mouse House
Residents of the Mouse House, or often visitors, who happen to be around early in the morning will catch sight of a rare beast. The fearsome Shirogane Blanket Slug. Dragging his heels through the house, in search of caffeine. Or water. Or any combination of the above. There's a blanket pulled over his head, and every step is a slow, pained shuffle. One would be forgiven for running, or calling for help. Especially when morning light pokes into the room, under the blanket.
Then Shiro groans. And slowly, so slowly, starts to sink down to the floor. Giving up on life altogether. Death would be kinder.
How could he say no to coffee? Especially coffee with the added lingering effect of the peanut butter - wings, in this case. Right now, he feels invincible. He feels like he could take on the world. And there's only one place to test it. Out in the wilds, where hardly anyone ventures. If he can get some good aerial views of the woods, maybe that would be of help. Despite everything, despite the overwhelming urge to reckless action, he wants to use it for good. The huge appendages shift, flex.
"I'm going in." A beat. "Over." In that Shiro Tone of "you can't stop me".
So... there's that. Can't stop, won't stop.
Join him?
(2) The Crash - Mouse House
Residents of the Mouse House, or often visitors, who happen to be around early in the morning will catch sight of a rare beast. The fearsome Shirogane Blanket Slug. Dragging his heels through the house, in search of caffeine. Or water. Or any combination of the above. There's a blanket pulled over his head, and every step is a slow, pained shuffle. One would be forgiven for running, or calling for help. Especially when morning light pokes into the room, under the blanket.
Then Shiro groans. And slowly, so slowly, starts to sink down to the floor. Giving up on life altogether. Death would be kinder.
WARMBLOOD EFFECT
(1) Help Machine
It's cold. It's snowy. Huge drifts piled up here and there, with patches of ice holding them in massive clumps in the street. This makes it difficult to get to and from where you may need to go. But! Struggle no more! Help is on the way!
By virtue of a one-man, one-horse plow machine. It's Shiro, a huge shovel. And an even bigger black horse. Meet Bob, everyone. The big animal, while on a lead, is apparently breaking paths through the snow with its enormous feet, followed closely by Shiro and his shovel, scooping out the new powder. He's ended up stripped down to a t-shirt, even in this weather, from the exertion, but shows no signs of slowing down any time soon. And hey, he's got the arms for this, why not use them? Even if... maybe, the scarring along said arms is a bit darker than it ever used to be. Then again, there's more grey in his hair these days, so -
"Hang on, we'll get this out of your way in no time," is what he'll say, outside any home they encounter, be it Sleeper or Trenchie.
(2) Slow Down
... even with the effect of his blood type urging him on, a man's got to crash eventually. And when he does, it's hard. Follow the trail of horse-man-plow long enough, and Shiro's obvious. Either sacked out on his feet inside Koz's, propped up by a broom, crashed on the sofa at Mouse House, or heck, maybe you hauled his dumb ass in off the street and made him tea. Where he will, promptly, fall asleep with his head on top of the mug.
His horse though? Nah, Bob is fine, really. More than fine. But he'll accept a treat or a pat.
It's cold. It's snowy. Huge drifts piled up here and there, with patches of ice holding them in massive clumps in the street. This makes it difficult to get to and from where you may need to go. But! Struggle no more! Help is on the way!
By virtue of a one-man, one-horse plow machine. It's Shiro, a huge shovel. And an even bigger black horse. Meet Bob, everyone. The big animal, while on a lead, is apparently breaking paths through the snow with its enormous feet, followed closely by Shiro and his shovel, scooping out the new powder. He's ended up stripped down to a t-shirt, even in this weather, from the exertion, but shows no signs of slowing down any time soon. And hey, he's got the arms for this, why not use them? Even if... maybe, the scarring along said arms is a bit darker than it ever used to be. Then again, there's more grey in his hair these days, so -
"Hang on, we'll get this out of your way in no time," is what he'll say, outside any home they encounter, be it Sleeper or Trenchie.
(2) Slow Down
... even with the effect of his blood type urging him on, a man's got to crash eventually. And when he does, it's hard. Follow the trail of horse-man-plow long enough, and Shiro's obvious. Either sacked out on his feet inside Koz's, propped up by a broom, crashed on the sofa at Mouse House, or heck, maybe you hauled his dumb ass in off the street and made him tea. Where he will, promptly, fall asleep with his head on top of the mug.
His horse though? Nah, Bob is fine, really. More than fine. But he'll accept a treat or a pat.
PTHUMERIAN EFFECT
(1) By The Shore - Moon Presence
It's late at night, out here on the shore. Not even the Wakers about. Maybe squid don't wash up this time of night. Whatever you're doing out here, you may very well feel like you're the only soul here. At least until something begins to sing - a sad, mournful melody, out over the waters. It's pretty darn huge, too.
"It's okay."
You wouldn't be blamed for jumping. Someone else is in fact, out here. It's Shiro, bundled up and sitting on a rock, quietly watching the Pthumerian figure. His expression is somber, sad - well, you know, more than usual anyway. He does try for a smile, and nods toward the creature singing. If you approach, you'll see there's a small burner set on the rock as well, the smell of incense faint and drifting upwards from it. Soft and pleasant, soothing.
"She won't hurt you." He must mean the big creature. There's no one else here. "Do you know who she is?"
(2) By The Gate - Mercy
He should be happier, right? Don't most people have a little thrill of something, a little bit of joy, close to their birthdays? But, no. There's nothing. There's just the heavy weight of his right arm. There's just the creeping knowledge the people dear to him are falling apart. Nothing he's done so far has managed to uphold any of his promises to any of them. That's becoming more and more apparent as the weeks go on, as the days go on and he sees the Corruption.
He sees the changes in everyone, except himself.
What does he desire? What does he crave? More than anything else... to be of use. To be worth the effort of knowing - to be able to make a difference. Yet, no matter what he does, people slip through his fingers like water. Promises fade to nothing.
We don't need you anymore
He stares up at the massive doors of the arena, the Gate. Maybe, at least, if he can't do anything, he can help the stronger ones train. That, surely will be of use, will rid him of the guilt scrabbling down his spine. He can already feel his brain slowly shut down as he takes a step forward towards those doors.
It's late at night, out here on the shore. Not even the Wakers about. Maybe squid don't wash up this time of night. Whatever you're doing out here, you may very well feel like you're the only soul here. At least until something begins to sing - a sad, mournful melody, out over the waters. It's pretty darn huge, too.
"It's okay."
You wouldn't be blamed for jumping. Someone else is in fact, out here. It's Shiro, bundled up and sitting on a rock, quietly watching the Pthumerian figure. His expression is somber, sad - well, you know, more than usual anyway. He does try for a smile, and nods toward the creature singing. If you approach, you'll see there's a small burner set on the rock as well, the smell of incense faint and drifting upwards from it. Soft and pleasant, soothing.
"She won't hurt you." He must mean the big creature. There's no one else here. "Do you know who she is?"
(2) By The Gate - Mercy
He should be happier, right? Don't most people have a little thrill of something, a little bit of joy, close to their birthdays? But, no. There's nothing. There's just the heavy weight of his right arm. There's just the creeping knowledge the people dear to him are falling apart. Nothing he's done so far has managed to uphold any of his promises to any of them. That's becoming more and more apparent as the weeks go on, as the days go on and he sees the Corruption.
He sees the changes in everyone, except himself.
What does he desire? What does he crave? More than anything else... to be of use. To be worth the effort of knowing - to be able to make a difference. Yet, no matter what he does, people slip through his fingers like water. Promises fade to nothing.
We don't need you anymore
He stares up at the massive doors of the arena, the Gate. Maybe, at least, if he can't do anything, he can help the stronger ones train. That, surely will be of use, will rid him of the guilt scrabbling down his spine. He can already feel his brain slowly shut down as he takes a step forward towards those doors.
(( all prompts open to all! Closed ones in comments. If you want anything specific, feel free to hit me up here! ))
no subject
Weird stuff was putting it mildly. Super mildly. He can't fault it, though. It's hard enough, showing up in this world. Harder still when there's a weight of history behind it - even more, he imagines, when people tell you it's not your first time here.
"The girl was Julia Sodder. We didn't know her full name for a long time. I think... a friend of mine found out." Diarmuid, with his scrying bowl and good heart. "All we knew, at first, was she was a kid with incredible powers she couldn't control..."
He trails off, sitting up straighter, gaze turning unfocused for a moment. A long moment. That first October, the scream on the network, the real horrors unleashed. Mother Superior looming out of the dark, cold and luminous and yellow eyes glowing -
No, that wasn't her. She'd been a lot of things, but not that.
A steadying breath.
"And she was being held captive in a lab on the mountain. Experimented on."
no subject
He didn't know all the details of his brother's captivity with the Galra, but he knew enough to have gotten the gist of him having been experimented on. So, it didn't surprise him that Shiro needed a second to come out with that fact. He nodded a little.
"And it was her power that was creating the nightmare? Because of the experiments?"
no subject
There's more to it than that. He'll get there. But that's the gist of it, for sure. He won't stop there, he just needs a minute. His jaw works, tightening. They'd tried, they'd all tried so hard. And in the end, it hadn't been enough, had it?
"She created the entire dream. Her power was pulling people, pulling monsters, from all different worlds. She never had any control of it - no one ever taught her control." The bitter unfairness of it. They'd wanted to use her, wanted some kind of great power, and when they got it?
They'd thrown her away.
"Things were... weird, but they didn't get too bad until October. The first October." Shiro isn't an angry person. It's really, really difficult to get him riled up, unless your name is Slav. But when he continues, his voice is tight, low, and angry.
"October was when Mother Superior tortured her on the network for everyone to see."
no subject
He furrowed his brow, his own teeth clenching a bit at the combination of the tone and the words for a moment.
"On... the network?" That was... "What would be the point of that? To send some kind of sick message to everyone?"
no subject
Shiro takes another moment to steady himself. To breathe in the smell of the calming incense. At least he's sure Keith can tell he's not angry with him. The benefit of having this conversation with someone who knows you well.
"She never made that a secret. Any chance she got to hurt us, she took. Torturing Julia was just the first step. After that, she started doing things to us directly. She put us on trial to kill us. Cut off supplies to starve us, then..."
Then he'd died.
He'd died in defense of the young man sitting next to him. Shiro's story trails off yet again, even as he tries to force it to keep going. It's been a while since that happened. In all that time, he's done nothing but refuse to dwell on it. This Keith has no idea. He wonders if he can keep it that way. He wonders if he should keep it that way.
"Then... would mock us. On the network, any time she could. To turn us against each other, to wear us down."
A nod, then, out toward the Moon Presence, with its hands outstretched towards the sea.
"Cynthia destroyed her, I think. Or at least, banished her from the Dream, in the end."
no subject
But it still bothered him. It bothered him to not know because it left him feeling helpless to do anything for the ones he cared about.
"The incense... is that for her?" His voice was quiet, leaving the unasked second question hanging in the air... or for you?
no subject
But there's warmth in the words. And of course, Shiro's not going to just leave it at that. He wouldn't. Just give him a moment to elaborate.
"When we first saw her, in the dream, as she is... she was out of control. She was attacking, enraged. And... I fought her. I took her down at least ten times." Not alone. He'd gone back into that part of the dream as many times as possible. Just to get the essence. "We had no idea who she was. Or what she was."
Shiro shakes his head a bit, looking at the incense burning away.
"I guess... this is me trying to make amends."
no subject
"Why so many times?"
no subject
Boy, this would be easier if he actually had any left. Show and tell only works if you have both components. "Whenever you won, you earned a vial of it. Just appeared in your hand when she fell. That essence... it could bring people back from being monsters."
He still dreams sometimes, about the creature covered in white fur, wailing in agony. The promise to never let it happen again. And the anguish in Allura's face when it had.
"I... just wanted to have as much as we could. So it would stop happening to us. Maybe even see if it could have saved Julia."
no subject
"I'm guessing that's something that was only in the Dream," he said. "You can't use it on people who turn into monsters here, can you? Or even get it...?"
no subject
"I haven't seen any since the Dream fell apart." Probably not the most reassuring answer. But he doubts Keith expected anything less. "And I'm not willing to hurt Cynthia ever again to find out."
Not now. Not knowing everything they do.
He glances sidelong at Keith, and shifts. Clasping him on the shoulder. "But if there's a way to do it here... we'll try and find it. As best we can."
no subject
There was also... the other question he had.
"You, uh... you heard about that vision Paul had, right?" he asked quietly. "What are we going to do about the Lions? I heard they found a way that they could make them big enough again for us to pilot."
One Paladin too many...