February & March Catch-All

[spiritwalks]

Who: Vyng spiritwalks and various others
What: Catch-All for February. Closed Prompts (in comments) for now, but am open to adding more!
When: Various
Where: Various

Content Warnings: Listed in subject lines when applicable

Notes:

- Style veers wildly between prose and brackets. Just choose whatever style feels good when responding, and I'll match it ♥

- Feel free to hit me up at jackets or Jansen#8997 for plotting and general chatter...or if you want a starter of your own!

Comments

[spiritwalks]

[He wonders if Obi-Wan knows each Sleeper is a living hypothetical, a divergence from their original timeline. That they have no choice but to leave things up to their counterpart back in their old world. Because even if it's their time to go, they'll simply slip back into the water, into the primordial forces of the Pthumerian Ocean, and on to another existence nobody can fully comprehend yet.

But then Vyng recalls his mother. Kind eyes, wavy hair, soft fur. He sits with the lingering pain his father's cruel actions left in their wake. Remembers the embodiment of his own self-loathing looming over him at the Summoning Stones. And he realizes...it doesn't matter.

Everyone is formed by the components of their experiences. Those components don't lose significance just because they're in a new world.]

Maybe he is. Sounds like you've got the scars to prove it.

[jedies]

[ he gives a wan smile. so many battles, so many lives lost. many he's seen right before his eyes, many he's only heard about in cold, clinical reports. no one chooses to be a jedi for their strength and power. it's about peace and balance. to be in this position is anathema to everything they stand for.

but what else can they do? there are no good decisions to be made. no magical exit. ]

All of us have scars. Mine are no greater than anyone else's.

[spiritwalks]

And also no less worthy of acknowledgment. They're part of who you are. Just as my scars are part of me.

[jedies]

Yes. I've been through my fair share.

[ it's not like he downplays it but trauma isn't a competition. he's lived it, born it and now, he moves past it, day by day. ]

[spiritwalks]

[Vyng has been guilty of turning trauma into a competition in the past. But not these days. Instead, he views other people's trauma the same way he sees the cracks in his staff: Pieces of history, rather than flaws that need to be hidden or diminished. Seeing himself in such a charitable light is a work in progress, but he likes to believe he's getting there. At the very least, he doesn't feel any shame over his physical scars.]

You also bare those scars freely to others. Especially if there's a purpose or some other connection to be found in it.

[jedies]

[ he smiles again. ]

Why wouldn't I? There's no shame in it.

[spiritwalks]

[Vyng mirrors his smile.]

You're right. There isn't. Beauty can be found in the cracks of our hearts...if we look. And if we allow others to do the same.

[jedies]

That is how it should be.

[spiritwalks]

You said the war's made you less helpful. But it seems like you've found the space to lean into your original purpose again here in Trench.

[jedies]

[ he shakes his head. ]

I'm not sure. It hasn't quite . . . clicked yet.

Perhaps I'm chasing the shadow of what I once was.

[spiritwalks]

What would "clicking" feel like?

[jedies]

[ he chuckles. ]

If I knew that, I wouldn't be framing it like that.

[spiritwalks]

What feels off, then?

Is it the war hanging in the back of your mind, so it's harder to feel fully present? Or is it, like...you're so used to dealing with interplanetary conflict, that it's taking some time to shift gears into smaller-town problems?

[jedies]

That might be part of it.

[ he exhales. ]

The rest might be Anakin.

[spiritwalks]

[Quietly:]

Anakin?

[An indirect offer to listen, if Obi-Wan is willing to share.]

[jedies]

[ obi-wan falls silent. ]

He was corrupted a few months ago. And I finally discovered a Sith Lord had been feeding him lies for a long time. Feeding into his fears. And I don't know if I can untangle it. Or if he even wants to.

[spiritwalks]

[Vyng gives a sympathetic nod. That Anakin struggles with insecurity and fear doesn't come as a surprise. But he hadn't considered the extra complication of corruption, or how the threat of future episodes could linger like a cold, damp chill in the back of their minds.]

Sometimes trying to help somebody reverse a harmful belief can...cause them to double down. Shut you out.

[Staging an intervention is delicate work. Vyng's had some firsthand experience with it during his travels.]

[jedies]

[ he sighs. ]

There's certainly a lot of that happening. And I can't make those choices for him. So he has to pull himself out.

[spiritwalks]

That's true.

[And also a challenge every parent goes through at some point.]

Is he still living with you?

[jedies]

He is. I hope he is healing and it is always a slow process.

But . . . I don't know. Perhaps I'm too close to it to tell.

[spiritwalks]

[Healing isn't always about moving forward, either — something Vyng himself recently became painfully aware of.

No wonder Obi-Wan developed lockjoint. Bath salts aren't exactly a priority when the family is in crisis. Vyng can only imagine the emotional toll of watching his closest friend continually struggle with his inner demons.]

Does he have any friends?

[jedies]

One left recently. I'm not sure otherwise.

[spiritwalks]

I see...

[Vyng purses his lips for a moment. In a place where bonds act as an anchor, that doesn't bode well.]

He still has you, at least. And he hasn't moved off into the woods. That's something. But I can see why you're worried for him.

[jedies]

[ it's not enough. their bond is strong but it should never be the only thing. it smacks of attachment and obi-wan knows should anything happen to him, anakin would slide.

that is not how growth should be. ]

He needs more than that.

[spiritwalks]

[Vyng can relate, on some level. Tuck hasn't integrated himself into the community as readily as himself, and it's been a source of tension in the past. But when all is said and done, his best friend is capable of stepping back and trusting Vyng to do what he feels is right — even when it isn't easy. He's also got Billie and Perell now, along with two other roommates in Manabu and Michael. Tuck isn't nearly so isolated as Anakin.]

What do you think he needs?