Catch-all for Maul; Love is not the opposite of hate.

[survivalthroughhate]

Who: survivalthroughhate and you!
What: open & closed threads
When: Catch-all for February and March
Where: All over Trench

Content Warnings: Event warning for March, graphic description of broken nails



All starters in the comments, threads are marked open and closed! Will be adding more as the months goes on!

Comments

[survivalthroughhate]

If Maul had been with some other people, he would have been mortified to be revealing these things. Even with how well he knew Vira-Lorr, it was obviously painful to reveal the uglier parts of his mind and soul. But he knew and trusted her well enough to know she wouldn't use what he was saying against him, which helped to quell a little bit of the turmoil raging inside.

"It's all because of fear," Maul said. The words just kept spilling out of him, unbidden. He could tell it was that black hole full of despair which was causing this. "I say I want to do better, and part of me does, but most of me is afraid to change. I want to stay on the path I have always been on, to not have to deal with the consequences of my actions. I just expect everyone to leave me eventually anyway, so I push them away before that can happen, hurting both myself and them in the process."

[onerthes]

At this point, she'd figured out that it was the hole or something the Moss King was doing, and she... well, she'd get him back for it, but she was going to have to accept it. Better with Maul than many others. And besides, she'd needed this.

"And here you are, a whole group of people refusing to entirely give up on you, frustrated, but still listening as you try again. And part of you knows that without actively pushing them away, you will inevitably change. And for all that your view of the Force you speak of entails chaos, emotion, passion, forces that might seem like they are of change? It is hide-bound. To leave it means to stray into the unknown, and the unknown is vulnerability. Darth Maul is never vulnerable, not truly." She said it in a tone that was meant to convey that she understood what he said. A confirmation, not a judgment. She nodded, her arms folded. "I can assure you that you aren't truly vulnerable to stand with them, to let them help, but Fear is a different beast entirely. Convincing fear to be silent is difficult, especially for one as passionate as you."

"I...want you to walk your path. That is what I'd usually say isn't it? Freedom to do as you wish. but it just lets me get away with never taking a stance. The eternal easy route. As long as I'm fine, everything is fine." She scowled. Hers might not have sounded as bad as some, but the spinelessness of it all, it had become galling. "I... think I have to admit that being quite as free-willed as I am has hurt a lot of people. You have a lot of potential, Maul. And I think it's time I finally say something."

"Stop being afraid. It will take time. But accept that this change is inevitable, and it can be for your good. This world? It can be a home for you if you let it. They can give you a home if you don't push them away. And some of them, of us, very much want you to be able to have a home." though some would never forgive at this point. "I want you to have a home, but if you continue only destroying what you love, it probably will be ashes eventually, and I'd prefer you dine at the table, not in ashes."