Michael Myers Resplendent (closed)

[forwantofahorse]

Who: Sayo and those she is close with.
What: Sayo's slow and then rapidly accelerating spiral following the slaying of the Fated Leviathan.
When: Late February to mid-March.
Where: Clockhouse

Content Warnings: Depression, mild mind control induced by the Chocolatier's caramels.

Comments

[snakesdonthavelegs]

[ It's an appropriate atmosphere, in more ways than one. The kind of night that might remind her of that one with Kanon, the night that Jessica almost reached her, but fell short. Later, she'll wonder at all the times like that one, when she could have changed things if only she hadn't been so weak of heart.

That had been a nice day, as much as any can be in this glum country. It had reminded her of the best times they'd spent together before. Better, now that Jessica was given the grace of a second chance to really be a friend to Sayo. No more arbitrary barriers, no more ignoring the truth. Even George had never had that, had he? She almost feels guilty, the same way she had for feeling jealous that he was stealing her friend away. She didn't quite process what it meant yet, but Sayo looked so pretty then.

A fitting finale for her innocence.]

Oh. Hey!

[ Jessica has seen her without makeup before, without the ways she disguised her form. As she always had, she behaves like nothing is different, her smile is the same as usual, but— there's something in that voice that tickles at that suspicion she'd never been able to admit to herself.

She's probably overthinking it. There's no such thing is a "there's something I need to talk to you about" that doesn't make you nervous, right? And she still can't say she's settled after learning of what happened to her family from Ange... at least in Ange's world. She still tries to tell herself that. ]

What's up?

[forwantofahorse]

[What made it so painful for Sayo to tear herself from these sunny days away was the spare ray of honesty she shone on Jessica, in all her cowardly charity. A sharp-tongued barb here, a tease there, a deadpan dead-eyed comment hither, disproportional frustration at games of chance yon... it was so easy to show what, in a better world, would've been all of Sayo's heart.

But this is not a better world. It's the epilogue past a dead-end Fragment, where if she had been allowed to take a few more steps, Sayo would have either saved or damned Jessica. It's the least she can do to follow up on her whispered promise to her Jessica to finally let the truth slip loose, slice open her guts and let her divine the truth from her intestines.

Sayo stares at Jessica, framing that perfect, innocent face in her mind, fixing this peaceful moment in her mind for all eternity. She imagines Fragments where she could nurture that expression into blooming as many times as she wanted... and crushes them all one by one. No more room for doubts, even as she steps forward on the gory remains of her dreams.]

Before anything else, Jessica, I wanted to...

[She bites down on her tongue. Already going off script, are we? No. That won't do.]

...nevermind that.

I'll start off with a basic premise, then. I believe Ange is familiar with this particular flourish of the pen, but even though she gave you a truth of 1998, I doubt she imparted knowledge of the layer of our story my favorite trick of convention is from.

Everything I say in red is the truth. No need for explanation or proof, [she snort-chuckle-cackles at that,] although that last part won't apply to this conversation, will it?

[Sayo is quiet for a moment, but only for a moment. She can't lose momentum, or she'll play this all off as a prank, another revealed idiosyncracy of Jessica's best friend brought to light by her light.]

Ange already told you the story, did she not? I know we've been avoiding the subject, [cowardice is a fault they share,] but at midnight on October 5th, 1986, Rokkenjima is engulfed in an enormous explosion, consuming the Ushiromiya family manor in its flames. All of us die, except for Eva, who departs for the mainland with the riches of the Golden Land at her beck and call. [Sayo won't say it in red. She won't kill the hope of her Jessica surviving.]

Your baby cousin was condemned to a future of loneliness because of that incident. All of us perished, although nobody but those who were on the island that day and Eva know what really happened. [You know she's serious since she's not busting out the elaborate Schrodinger's Cat metaphors and instead getting straight to the point.] This immense tragedy, this unforgivable sin...

It's my fault. All of it.

I'm the c- [Sayo chokes for a half second, unable to repeat "culprit" in red, but she breezes right past that mistake,] instigator of the Rokkenjima Explosion Incident... and the murders that preceded it.

[Bear witness to her sin, Jessica. Please, please don't look away.]

[snakesdonthavelegs]

[ Jessica is frozen in place as Sayo starts saying all those horrible things. She just stands there in mute shock, eyes wide and all the color draining from her skin. Those red words burn into her mind like fiery brands, searing agony that takes away her ability to think of anything else, to think at all. The thing that she has always feared the most has been the uncanny, the sense that what is familiar and safe is actually no such thing. She'd been able to start confronting that creeping truth when Sayo had been by her side to face it, but—

Those words. Those words telling her that one who had always been by her side had destroyed everything that she loved. Words that possess a reality all their own, even as she denies and disbelieves with all of her strength. She is a drowning woman denying the water. The uncanny threatens to devour everything, and render it filthy and corrupt.

Not that it matters. It's just some weird joke or something.]

H-Hey, come on Sayo, I really don't like this prank.

[ She's happy that Sayo feels more free to express her personality, but that doesn't mean that she should go around doing stuff like this. That's what this is, right? That's what this is. There's nothing else this could be. Nothing at all. It's not real. IT'S NOT REAL ITSNOTREALITSNOTREALITSNOTREAL ]

[forwantofahorse]

Jessica, please, look at me! [Sayo's voice doesn't so much crack as crumble as she watches Jessica try to dive into denial, only to find the ocean around her is made up of harsh truth instead.

She almost reaches out, almost touches her shoulder, almost almost almost pulls back from this precipice of no return to fish Jessica out of the sea of her own making... but no. Sayo retracts her hand, expression frail. She knew this would happen. She'd prepared for this possibility.

That doesn't make what Sayo has to do next hurt any less.]

It's not a joke, or a prank! I murdered Gohda, Kumasawa, Genji, Nanjo, I even...

Even...

[Tears gather at the corners of Sayo's eyes.]

I even m- killed George-san.

[Saying that in red, opening herself to the true she's been oh-so-desperately ignoring to keep shuffling forward through the maze of her thoughts in Trench, feels like pounding stakes of red into her body. Head, chest, stomach, knee, leg. It would've been easier if she did it of her own volition, if the bullet that had torn through his already-broken heart had been fired by her own will rather by her own panic and fear at being revealed in a world where she didn't have control.

That's why she'd wanted to save Jessica, really. To make up for what she'd done to her other beloveds. And in Trench, that means being honest with her, no matter how much she despises the truth.]

[snakesdonthavelegs]

[ For the third time since emerging from the sea, Jessica is forced to confront a reality, that in the grasping of it, shatters her heart. First she was plucked from her world to this mad, bloodstained hell. Then she learned from Ange of the calamity that would swallow whole her and her home, her family, and two who are the dearest of her friends. She still vainly tries to tell herself, that perhaps that will only happen in Ange's own history, and not hers.

And now, those "two friends" are before her, her face full of madness as she confesses her gruesome deeds. This can't be real. It can't be, because if it is, Jessica won't be able to pick up the pieces that are left of her. She'll be lost forever. Please, don't let this be true. She can already feel herself breaking again. ]

You— You're corrupt! I heard about that, it can even make you hallucinate and give you delusions...! How long have you been hiding it, you know you don't have to, right?! There are ways to treat it! You're even saying those words in such a funny way, it has to be a symptom of it!

[ The red presses into her heart like thorns, insisting that they are no delusions, no fabrication, cannot be, but she plugs her ears, closes her eyes as her voice grows more shrill and strained. She feels sick, and there's a stinging behind her eyes that indicates that she's probably about to cry, but still she reaches for Sayo's hand, trying to drag her off to find some kind of help. Corruption. It's definitely corruption. ]

[forwantofahorse]

[Jessica meets unexpectedly firm resistance as she tries to tug Sayo away from the crashing waves of bloody truth. After all, for once, Sayo's feet are firmly rooted in reality, not delusion. (And there's her wide, practiced stance, learned from a sensei who knew her, the real her—or enough of the beastly, shabby Sayo Yasuda for the last vestiges of Shannon in their relationship to not matter. Another puzzle piece that doesn't fit with the image Jessica is desperately trying to build of Sayo.)

Seeing her beloved fall to pieces like this, dashed against the rocks of truth by the tide, drives the stakes deeper into Sayo's heart. This was the cruelest thing she could possibly do, wasn't it? Sayo Yasuda's existence brought about pain. It'd be better if she just disappeared, let Shannon become the truth, not the lie.

But she didn't even have the courage to snuff out the last spark of her soul and drown Beatrice. And as long as that Fragment of her heart was there, it'd resurface again and again and again, bringing desolation every time it broke above the water.

Better to leave a single, horrendous scar that could fade with time than prolong the torture for the rest of their lives, as much as Sayo can feel herself falling apart parallel to Jessica when she sees the wild desperation in her eyes. That's one of the few lessons she learned from the end of her game.]

...I thought this might happen, [she says dully, gaze fixed on the ground.] It's unbelievable, right? I'd think I was spouting nonsense if I was in your place.

Fine then.

I'll... tell you something you already know.

[Sayo runs a hand through her hair, and-

Suddenly, Kanon is there. His stiff, awkward posture, his perpetual servant's arm, his "pained but pretending to be stoic" expression, even his voice, heavy with the same sadness that had been in it when he told Jessica that he couldn't fly.]

Kanon isn't a real person, either.

He's just a part I played. My own subhuman self. A confused reflection of all I hated about myself, dressed up in a possibility of what I would've grown up to be if the fall hadn't...

I'm so sorry, milady.

[And then he's gone, just like the wind, leaving only shabby, broken Sayo in his place.]

[snakesdonthavelegs]

[ Jessica's tugging grows more desperate as Sayo digs her stance in, but she soon exhausts herself, staggering back. She's fairly athletic, but the most she's done is hit a punching bag now and then and learn some of the basics of boxing from her dad.

So all that she can do is watch numbly as Sayo tears apart another illusion, one she'd long suppressed her suspicions about. One that, some days, Jessica had considered asking Sayo about since she'd come to Trench, but decided would be best to ease into. She'd always been scared of how acknowledging that would make her relationship with her friend more complicated, and possibly distant and tense, but it's hardly too late to worry about that, now is it?

Jessica's dazed mind makes note of what "Kanon" almost tells her before cutting off, and that too surprises her less than it should after years of seeing hints of body-related complexes. But just because none of this is quite unexpected, doesn't mean that it doesn't further drive in the stake Sayo stabbed into her chest. She sucks in a ragged breath, the tears finally starting to fall. If this is a joke, why is she also peppering in this deeply personal confession along with it? ]

I know, okay?! I think I always did, and I'm sorry, okay, I'm sorry I just didn't listen and ignored all of it! But I don't understand all of this awful stuff you're saying, are you just trying to punish me for it? [ If so, Jessica would surely deserve it, she deserves to be judged for how selfish she is. ] Just talk to me instead of making up all of that other stuff!

[ Right. Sayo might be afraid of being vulnerable, so she's trying to push Jessica away. That has to be it, and the corruption is making it worse. ]

You can talk to me about that, I'll listen this time, I promise. So don't push me away! I know that Sayo Yasuda would never do such horrible things!

[forwantofahorse]

[The night is silent save for the echoes of Jessica's plea echoing through the alleys below. A gentle breeze drifts between them, making it seem like, for an instant, the storm has calmed as Sayo stares deep into Jessica's face, her eyes trembling and gathering a river of tears.

And then-

Her face twists, distorts, turns wrong in a sickening snap that's only just barely within the confines of human expression. She pulls Jessica forward, snarling, human heart too battered and beaten and broken by Jessica's endless denial to persist. So if Jessica wants to mire herself in fantasy, that's just fine.

The witch would be happy to oblige her.

(Part of Sayo screams, rails against the confines of her ribcage cell, insists that this storm of spite is what caused the tragedy in the first place. But Beatrice doesn't listen. So she weeps for what could've been, the chance for a happy fiction denied by her own hands.)]

You say know the "real Sayo Yasuda?!" After years and years and years of turning your eyes away from her because it would make your CHARMED LIFE too complicated if she was ANYYYYYYTHING other than a simple, happy-go-lucky best friend, you DARE to claim you knew me? That you're SORRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYY? Kyahahaha, I'd be touched if it didn't make me want to VOMIT! If you were really sorry, if you actually MEANT it, then you'd look me in the eyes and see me for the MONSTER I am instead of digging yourself deeper into this ditch of denial!

Fine, fine, fine, FINE! Putting aside the matter of your little ~wannabe boytoy~, there are pllllenty of other facets of my subhumanity that you've turned your eyes from.

Like, say, how I sometimes gave your mother dirty looks when she wasn't looking for the past two years because she was the one who tossed me off the damn cliff and turned me into FURRRRNITURE in the first place!

Or how I cringed whenever your father blustered about finances, because I knew full well I could solve alllllll his idiotic self-inflicted problems if I wanted to with the massive store of gold I'd found under the church, but alas, I was too much of a COWARD to reveal myself!

Ooooh, oh, oh! Speaking of! HOW ABOUT THE WAY I HID YOUR GRANDFATHER'S DEATH ON YOUR MOTHER'S ORDERS FOR TWO WHOLE YEARS, AND HOW YOU NEVER THOUGHT TO QUESTION IT DESPITE HIS CORPSE REEKING FROM INSIDE HIS STUDY!

OR HOW I COULD'VE TOLD THEM TO STOP IF I WANTED TO, KYAHAHAHA! AFTER ALL, I AM THE REAL HEAD OF THE USHIROMIYA FAMILY! BEING THREE QUARTERS KINZO BY VOLUME GAVE ME AN ADVANTAGE OVER THE REST OF THE SIBLINGS, I SUPPOSE. FOR ONCE, I CAN'T BLAME YOU FOR NOT SEEING THE RESEMBLANCE, THOUGH, SINCE BEING A SEXLESS NEUTER WOULD'VE CANCELLED IT OUT!

Does it hurrrt, JESSICAAAAAA? Knowing the best friend and the boy you loved so much don't EXIST, and it was just a pitiful, shabby, horrid, twisted, FRRRRREAK OF NATURE putting on a SHOWWWWWWWWWW!

[Tears are openly streaming down Sayo's face even as she grabs Jessica by the collar to yell at her, face distorted with deep, gaping sadness and unhinged fury provoked by her denial in equal measure.]

[snakesdonthavelegs]

[ Whatever Jessica has been holding onto, whatever tenuous bulwark she mounted against the assault on her entire reality, crumbles under Sayo's brutal assault. Her best friend, her first and only love, the person whose gentle presence supported to her heart, that allowed her to live with such energy and determination— she pulls Jessica in and mocks her with that demonic expression, her eyes filled with a rage more terrible than she's ever seen before. Her cruel voice is as sharp as a sword, cutting Jessica into pieces with those red words, everything that Jessica Ushiromiya has been sliced apart and never to be rejoined.

Jessica has never been this terrified before in her life. She can't even scream, her face frozen in fear and grief and disgust. Did she ever know this monster wearing her friend's face, the cruel reaper who laughs and cries as she reduces everything in Jessica's life to sin and filth? Wearing a mantle of tragedy and pain to justify her unspeakable crimes, but above all else saying "you did it?" Is Sayo going to kill her? If this is a nightmare, she wants to wake up from it. ]

Y-You're from another world! The one in mine, she'd never—

[ What a flimsy miserable shield. It's a magic that evaporates as soon as its conjured, burned away by Jessica's failure to believe. So she's left with nothing. Not her family, not her friend, her love, not even the person named "Jessica Ushiromiya." Everything that formed "Jessica Ushiromiya," everything that she can remember is falsehood concealing wickedness. So how can "Jessica Ushiromiya" be anything except more lies and more evil?

So all that she is left with is Trench, the hell that she's been damned to, crawling with demons, with the Devil Herself sneering at her perdition. The cold air, the huge unwholesome moon, the unfamiliar strings of stars in a bleak sky, they all mock the pathetic thing once called "Jessica Ushiromiya." She pulls desperately away from Sayo, her voice finally escaping in agonized sobs. ]

I—

[ But words don't come. She wrenches her tear-blurred eyes away, and runs and runs and runs, away from the house, as far as she can, away from her beloved monster. ]