deercountry | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Who: Ezra + Obi-wan. Ezra+Michael, Ezra+Ariadne
What: closed prompt in comments.
When: Evening of 2/25, and also general end of the month
Where: Obi-wan's house in Cassandra, Michael's shop, Rooftops of Trench

Content Warnings: Blood, offscreen deaths, aftermath of mass battle, grief, some corruption, others in tags

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He stiffens, because, yes, that was it. Or rather, he'd told himself her wasn't going to ask for the teacher, yet he didn't know how to read...not getting it.

He takes a breath.]

I see the issue and it's me reading into things. Differences. I'll sort it out.

Ezra.

There's no shame in asking for that. Nor do I mind. But I don't think it's something we formally discussed.

[Another breath.]

We haven't. Because I was kind of a mess over...temporal disconnects, when I got here and I needed to try to deal with that. Also, I didn't want to distract you from Anakin.

You're hardly a distraction, Ezra.

[ and he's not sure how he feels about that statement. that his life is funnelled into anakin and nothing else. ]

No, I...know. [His furrows.]

There were three of us who were padawan level and two force-sensitive babies in Temba and we...we managed ok. [Sure, they were all very tired sometimes - newborns are *exhausting* even with multiple adults around, but he'd never felt like he was a distraction there. So it's not a matter of divided attention, exactly.]

It's just. It's Anakin. And I know he's important to you, and I want him to be ok, too. I thought, if I couldn't figure out how to help, I could at least not make things harder. Not give him any reason to...to doubt you, or feel ignored, or for you to doubt that you'd done what you could for him-

[But clearly Anakin will do what he will do. So now Ezra feels a little foolish.]

[ obi-wan smiles faintly at that. ]

That's hardly your responsibility, is it? You are your own person, Ezra Bridger. You can't hold yourself back for Anakin.

[To which Ezra frowns.] It's not my responsibility in the sense that I can't make him feel or do anything. I'm still responsible in the sense I'd rather act with compassion, in general.

And he can say I'm not his family all he wants, but we have enough family in common I can't imagine not counting him, at this point.

Besides, I really did need to try to get my own head on straight.

[ obi-wan hums. ]

Just be careful that you're not taking on too much.

[He nods.] you're welcome to tell me if you think you see me doing that, Master Kenobi.

Now. I don't know what Kanan's plans were for deciding when my apprenticeship was over. We were always making things up as we went along. [He doesn't think the plan was death. Until suddenly it was.]

And then I'd hoped the Force would keep Ben and I together long enough for us both to feel ready. [He shakes his head sadly.]

So. I would be honored if you would teach me. But I never wanted you to feel backed into an obligation.

Teaching is not an obligation, Ezra. It's a privilege. One I'm always grateful to enact.

[He knew Ben liked teaching. That it hadn't entirely without emotional pitfalls, given Anakin's Fall, but mostly Ben had taken joy in it. And he hadn't imagined that was really different for Obi-wan here and now. But just because some version of him somewhere made a choice didn't mean Obi-wan should be influenced by that. Such has been Ezra's thinking.

Although at the moment, it seemed pretty ungracious to imply that Obi-wan wasn't speaking freely and honestly.

Another breath, in and out, and Ezra nods, a real smile creeping back across his face.]

Ok. I trust you.

[With some humor-] I think we're pretty deep in making it up as we go along territory. Now what?

Well, for now, why don't you run through some offensive forms? I realize you don't want to rely on it but mastery of both is just as important.

[He nods, body language loosening up into chipper and feeling back on more solid ground. A teacher has to assess whether their student is, after all.]

Sure. [He backs up several steps to give himself room, and ignited his lightsaber again, to drop into the opening stance for Ataru and starts running through sets of katas. It really is the somewhat modified form Anakin made recordings of for Ahsoka, because well. That's what he'd had to study.]

[ hmm. ]

Where did you see this form?

[He brings his saber back to the ready position.]

Kanan had recordings of Anakin demonstrating, on a holocron - I asked Anakin, and he said he made them for Ahsoka?

I know it's not the classic Ataru form.

I've probably got something on the holocron the Archivists put together when we were at the Temple. They tried to cover...a lot of bases.

[ that makes sense. ]

Emulating Anakin can be difficult. He has a lot more raw power than most of us. Developing our own styles is key to our development.

Oh. Huh. Yeah, that makes sense - I know that about Anakin and Luke, too.

Just hadn't thought about adapting with that consideration.

It's not something that comes automatically. It always helps to have references and see other masters.

But we have to be careful when it comes to what we would use ourselves.

[He makes a face.]

To be uncomfortably honest, Ataru - or this variation of it, at least - worked best for me when I was taking advice from a Sith holocron.

So, uh. Revamp seems in order, yeah?