deercountry | I ROSE UP FROM THE DEAD (I DO IT ALL THE TIME)

Ah. I believe the saying "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" probably applies. She may be trying to redeem herself or live a better life, but she seems only to know how to do this by forcibly 'guiding' people to see things her ways.

[She shook her head, grunting.]

She's not lost in her pain and rage, her shame for her granddaughter's death, but she's not a good guide.

What makes you so certain her intentions are sincere? She had gained the hatred of everyone, and she claims to be trying to redeem herself and yet the only way in which she's done that is to force others to beg her for forgiveness.

She might have died and come back, but take it from me, that doesn't mean anything. Faking being a patron only leads me to believe that she wishes to reclaim that status, either to circumvent the current patrons or to achieve power over all of us so that she may complete her little revenge.

There's no redemption for people like that. Only the abyss. I mean to find a way to kill her once and for all.

[She smiled sadly over at Chara after listening to them say all of that. Oh, that was familiar, wasn't it? She remembered the last time she'd heard words like that, from the other Chara long before. There was obvious nostalgia in her face.]

I don't think you will ever like that woman, no matter when in your timeline you are from. [A shake of her head.] I'm being wishful and hopeful. I saw her at her worst, but she still betrayed us out of mere spite and rage. She was a broken, twisted, wrathful fool trapped in denial worse than Roderic. He at least...

... I think he at least understands what penance means, but I doubt he remembers anything anymore, not in his current state.

[She closed her eyes.] You may be right. Even reborn, she may have simply resumed what she thinks is a pattern of 'guiding us' that is closer to destroying us than anything else, and her ego may simply be too great any longer. It was always profound in the nightmare. Like she knew everything, and we were but children to be scolded... or a virus to cleanse.

I don't know if there will ever be anything redeemable in her.

His current state? [They raise an eyebrow. They don't know the truth behind Koz's identity.]

She thinks there is. I'd say she's just about the only one. She's already of the opinion that she's redeemed herself, and has made a show of how remorseful she is, encouraging everyone to join her in her self flaggelation. [There's something cold in their gaze as they think about it.] She made it quite clear while ripping a confession out of me.

Remorseful people don't fetishize their own guilt. Cult leaders do that. If there's something remorseful in her, maybe she can find it after going through every single agony she put Sodder through.

Koz, the shade that runs the orphanage. The rumor around town is that Koz is what remains of his spirit. Forever guarding and protecting the lost children of the world, in penance for failing as a father. Unlike Mother Superior, he just goes about protecting the children and doesn't drag us into some moral lesson about it.

I haven't really had the heart to see him. There's a lot of pain tied up in what he became. I ... don't hate him anymore, but I pity him a lot.

[She nodded and sighed, grimacing.]

I think you're right about Superior, though, as much as I wish that wasn't the case. If that's how she acted with you, she wants to believe she is redeemed already, rather than beginning a long journey, and expect us to follow in her footsteps.

Penance is seen in service and pain, not just saying "I'm better, honest."

I see. [They're not sure how they feel about an abuser repenting by trying again with other children. The Dreemurrs did similar, didn't they? There's a flash of bitterness to Chara's eyes.

They're definitely projecting a bit too much on Julia.]

I want to make her suffer immeasurable pain. Any ideas?

[It was probably an uncomfortable thought. Roderic's failings as a father didn't qualify him as a good guardian. But, for now he was nothing more than doting and protective, neutered of his flaws. Hopefully it would stay that way.

But they were talking about Superior. She considered and frowned.]

I won't bother to tell you not to. I can't even bring myself to think she deserves any level of consideration, not after last month. She's still up to her old tricks.

...

Pthumerians are nearly immortal and incredibly powerful. If you want a recommendation? Get a vial of their blood. Don't publicize what you're doing. Find someone willing to research that blood in secret. Begin looking for weaknesses.

You're playing a very long game here.

[They smile.]

Enemies have tried to play against my patience before. I still won. I'm willing to wait for a hundred years if that's what it takes.

[* DETERMINATION.]

Thank you. I don't suppose you have any suggestions? There's one I have in mind, but all the same.

I believe it. And a hundred years might be how long it takes, but that kind of patience is power.

Dr. Winters. Be cautious in the approach. I do not know how he feels entirely on the Pthumerians, but the man has always been deeply skeptical in nature, and if you managed to bring him a sample, he would find the very notion of studying their blood fascinating.

I've worked with him before he took on that name, and he's ... not bound by limits that some would put on themselves in research. [She didn't even flinch as she said that.] Who were you thinking?

[They hum in consideration.] I'll look into him. I can't say I've ever met the man.

The one I was thinking of... I don't know if you know him. He seems rather hesitant to give out his name, so I simply call him the Man With The Black Eyes. He's a necromancer that works in the archives, and has been studying this world's blood magic since he arrived.

Very shady. Knows more than he's saying. He was teaching me every now and again before my untimely demise.

[Albert 'Dr Winters' Wesker was definitely an... unusual one.]

I do not believe I've met this one. I've generally not trafficked much with those whose mystical arts involve the dead. They're a shady type at times, though their abilities have unique utility at a time like this. Either way, one of them may be able to help.

But Pthumerian blood is a starting point. It may not tell you much. It might teach about their power more than anything else. But that's somewhere to begin and in this kind of long game, sometimes the hardest battle is finding a starting point.

He's extremely shady. I suspect this Winters is as well considering your description of the man.

I appreciate your help, Vira-Lorr.

Well... [She sounded almost a little affectionate as she said it.] Winters is both incredibly shady, and also very up front about it. He has few of the ethics most do about certain experiments. So, he's definitely not someone to approach for the moral high ground, but you're looking for a way to put Mother Mercy to rest forever, if you can, yes? Not exactly high morality... not that I disapprove.

Just be very careful. She's beyond any scale of power imaginable.

And of course. It's freely given. You are a friend, Chara. A complicated one, but a friend nonetheless. I'm happy to help.

[she did hope it didn't get them killed, but that was beside the point.]

Seeing as I'm also beyond any scale of power imaginable and still I was murdered, that simultaneously makes me pessimistic and optimistic about our chances. I'll pay him a visit.

[They cross their arms, considering.]

Would you like to know who Asriel is?

You know... you say that, but I've never quite seen that side of you, only the knife. Still, perhaps that is a good thing. Some power is meant to be wielded very sparingly.

[but to the question, she nodded, firmly.]

Chara, if it is a peace of your life? I would know whatever you are willing to share. I might never fully understand, but I want that. Thank you for offering.

[They hum, thoughtful. Frankly, Vira has demonstrated a desire to know the truth about them, which is something that they can appreciate. It feels only right that they return the favor of her assistance with giving her some closure. They're used to dealing with sentimental old fools grieving them to their face, after-all.]

I'll reveal this much, for your peace of mind. The Chara you knew was from before a time when they could have possibly reached my level. At least I'm about ninety percent certain of that.

They're also just as alive as I am. They didn't fade away into non-existence, we are not so lucky. Either they became me, which strikes me as unlikely, or they simply returned to their own Frisk.

[They drum their fingers against the counter, considering.]

Asriel was my adopted brother. He betrayed me, got us both killed, and stopped my plan to free our people, for the sole purpose of rejecting the fact I presented that the world is more often than not reliant on the concept of 'kill or be killed.' He was a naive fool, a sentimental hypocrite, and my best friend.

Any questions?

Edited 2022-03-27 20:10 (UTC)

[Vira-Lorr didn't say it, but she was thinking back to a very specific conversation she'd had with 'the other Chara.' It made her wonder in this moment if the Chara before her was truly from later in the timeline, or if they'd just been divergent timelines. She didn't know, but ...]

You once said that you felt that you had ruined the lives of the ones who found you and took you in. I'm guessing that the event that got the two of you killed was that time, when you were setting into motion this plan? And by your people, you mean the monster race that took you in?

How did you plan to free them?

[It's difficult to tell, when you've become something that drifts between timelines like they do. They experienced a world where it all resolved happily, and they distantly recall that beneath all their grief was a desire for redemption.]

I did. I suspect that account was wrapped up in their own emotional state and self-hatred, but it remains... true, in just about every sense of the word.

I killed myself. [There's no emotional weight behind those words, they say them as if they were as simple as an observation on the weather.]

They needed my soul to pass through the barrier that humanity kept monsterkind entrapped within. It needs seven human souls to break, but one human soul plus the soul of a monster would allow an individual to pass. Any monster can take a human soul, but only the monsters that ruled over the kingdom, called Boss Monsters, only their souls could be taken by a human. But obviously, killing any of them was not an option I was willing to tolerate. It was all an empty pretentious lie, but they were kinder to me than anyone had ever been my whole life. I chose an alternative approach.

Asriel provided me with the poison and I ingested it until my conditions reached a lethal state that no magic could cure. [It's far more horrific than they're making it sound, but they think Vira will forgive them for sparing some details about the nature of the poison they used.] The plan was for him to take my soul after I passed, we would go through the barrier and return to my village, and together we would murder six humans and use their souls to free everyone.

Asriel didn't follow up on his end of the pact.

Edited 2022-03-28 23:54 (UTC)

[She didn't say anything while the explanation was given. Part of her was starting to put two and two together. Asriel had gotten cold feet, but Asriel and Chara had still died, which meant that the family still mourned their loss and was wrecked. And did they even ask for them to do such a thing? She'd yet to meet them, but who could say?

She sighed. No point asking if Chara regretted those actions. She was pretty sure of the answer to that.]

And yet, from what you've said. Something was resolved at some point, after your death... [Sigh] I suppose that this does explain something, and if all of you were trapped with them behind a barrier it gives me an idea why you hated humans so much.

[She wasn't going to justify it, but there was no need. It did, however, explain a lot.]

Do you still consider them to be your best friend?

[They consider this, crossing their arms.]

No. [It's short and brutal. Whatever sentiment was left in their heart is dead and gone. They killed him as he begged for mercy, calling upon his old face, his old voice. Flowey is the broken hollow distortion of what Asriel thought Chara wanted, and that... hurts. It hurt, at least. Now they feel nothing.] He replaced me, I replaced him. Besides, he's dead.

[They let out a sigh before continuing.]

The fact that they condemned them all to this fate and the life that I lead on the surface lead me to despise humans. It's why Asriel couldn't go through with it. He felt the depths of my contempt and it scared him.

It did get resolved, at least in one ending. But that comes quite late in the story, and it was Frisk's doing, though I did help. Not that anyone ever knew.

The King declared that every human who fell into the Underground would be killed on sight and have their soul brought to him so that he could rise above and reap vengeance on the entire species. [Their tone doesn't indicate their disgust, instead in tune with their normal dry drawl.] He got cold feet after his wife left him, but he'd already rallied his people, and he was too weak to back out. So he settled for killing them all as they fell down, but not doing anything to free his people. Six children were murdered anyway, despite Asriel's inability to follow through. All to fuel King Asgore's great lie, that he'll save them all once they get to seven. Of course, if you've been paying attention, you'd know that he only needed one. Instead he chose to pray that no human would fall down ever again.

He was weak. The queen knew what had to be done, but refused to make the sacrifice. [Can you tell who her favorite is?] Frisk was the seventh human to fall. The final sacrifice. And they fell right on top of my grave.

In other words... you inherited the problems of the decisions of others, along with the consequences of your own choices, as did Frisk. I believe I might have met Frisk, once. They are here, yes?

[It had been brief, if they had met them. She didn't know them well, at the very least. She frowned and her arms folded more tightly. There was a definite tone of displeasure.]

I have a bit of experience with inheriting the consequences of others. I don't know if eradication solves your problem, because as you said there were different possibilities. Different "endings."

It was like this in my world as well. I have met versions of friends, who took other paths in their journey, and the results were drastically different, and much more tragic.

Yes. We live together.

They inherited it all, really. All my mistakes, all the legacies left behind by my death, the decisions made for my sake that I never asked for. They have a similar silhouette to me, and that's enough for my family to project their feelings about me onto them.

There was a prophecy that I was expected to fulfill, that the one who had seen the surface would arrive, and the Underground would go empty. I'm honestly not sure which of us it was referring to, even now. [They have a somewhat solemn expression on their face.]

But yes, there's many different endings to our story. What you've told me about this other splinter of myself leads me to believe they are probably from the happiest ending, actually. [A small ironic smile.] Well, happiest for everyone else. There is no happy ending for me.

Prophecies are ... a tricky thing. Seeing the future, we convince ourselves that we know what's going to happen and sometimes, our assumptions... well, you and I have spoken about them haven't we?

[She shook her head, sighing some.]

And, if I may ask... what is the ending of the story that you are part of, if theirs was the happiest?

Mm.

[They consider whether or not to even answer this question.]

The ending. [There's a ghost of wry amusement on their face. How else could you describe the one ending to the story where it actually ends? The culmination of all unanswered mysteries left by the other routes, one last bite for the unsatisfied.] I'll keep the details of it to myself for now, if that's okay with you.

[Vira-Lorr seems to half understand, half not. It's clear that she doesn't know what Chara's narrative role was, or the nature of their greater awareness. Chara isn't sure how to approach that.]

[She looked at Chara, and there was a pallor that showed in her already very pale skin. Her eyes widened a fraction and then eased. She looked, maybe, a little sad. It felt almost like when she'd spoken to Winfield, the Winfield from the world that he'd helped destroy. She didn't know what exactly "The ending" meant, but there was an implication of finality, and finality, considering what Chara had said... Well, it didn't come with many meanings, and very few were good.]

You may, obviously, choose the day and the hour that you share those details with me. Even if the answer is never, Chara.

[There was a momentary pause and she finally sighed.]

I believe you are correct. You are not from the same 'version' of events as the Chara I knew, but I believe that I choose to hold myself to the promises I made to them for you as well. It's my old sentimental heart.

[She'd said that once before, but felt it bore repeating right then.]

I ROSE UP FROM THE DEAD (I DO IT ALL THE TIME)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

cw for child suicide

Re: cw for child suicide

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)